Bear or Bull, Week 9: Sprolin’ Down the River

November 3, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 18 Comments

Image result for super smurf

One of the great mysteries of life is the nickname. It is often said that nicknames are earned and that one cannot give themselves their own nickname. I say: Ef that. If I have big ears, did I “earn” the Dumbo nickname? That’s some bull shiitake mushroom. By the way, I don’t have big ears and I was never called Dumbo. Just an example. Goes to room, locks self in closet and cries. You know how nicknames are established? There are only three ways. 1) The person being nicknamed accepts the nickname. This usually happens because the nickname is freaking dope. 2) The person is a beta. 3) The person is a beast and tells everyone else what they should call him.

Darren Sproles falls into the third category. People used to call him Super Smurf. I’m with Sproles., ef that! You know how much of a boss he is? He says to call him Tank because, when he was born, he weighed 10 pounds. That’s what I’m talking about.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Fantasy Football Rankings, Week 9

by: Jay

Period	Rank	QB	RB	WR	TE	K	DST
Week 8	46 out of 134	76	13	90	65	73	33
Week 7	5 out of 138	58	2	36	30	22	56
Week 6	92 out of 137	101	60	87	63	18	55
Week 5	9 out of 138	42	32	4	112	56	12
Week 4	5 out of 141	60	15	6	49	4	62
Week 3	22 out of 139	41	18	62	21	7	32
Week 2	96 out of 139	96	116	38	107	13	8
Week 1	66 out of 138	63	73	34	116	32	23
2016	15 out of 128	73	9	12	55	12	18
3-year AVG	23 out of 122	51	29	17	47	17	38

I’d call it an average result for an average day for an average life. It happens, especially in math. And that was a math joke. I believe they call that “rock bottom”. But don’t worry, playoffs are coming up, and those of you remaining have at least one team with a chance to make it there. If so, let’s figure out how to do it…

Here are your Week 9 Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who Are These Guys, Week 9: Oh Henry!

November 2, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 24 Comments

by: malamoney

Alternate titles for today’s post included “Trick or Tyreek” in honor of Halloween, “Crowder? I Hardly Know Her” (used below), and “The Triple Lutz“. As you can see I chose neither of them. Once again I seem to have managed to stitch together a starting lineup, using waiver wire material, that would have beaten just about any team in your league or any other. You know the old saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”? Well, don’t do that. Unless you’ve actually read the book. The theme of this weeks seems to be players taking advantage of an opportunity given to them because another player was injured.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Podcast: A Conversation with Rudy Gamble

November 2, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Podcast, Fantasy Football Podcast | 37 Comments

by: Jay

As the title states (SPOILER ALERT), Rudy Gamble (Stat Guru for Razz) joined me in our latest podcast, and it was a great conversation. Sure, I may be a biased source, but let me introduce you to these totally unbiased people sitting right next to me watching as I type this intro. They have given the thumbs up, and if you can’t trust me, trust them. And if you think I’m making this up, I can unapologetically confirm that I’m probably not. And talking about making things up, I got the opportunity to talk about the 2016 election in a way that won’t piss off anyone (maybe!) by going directly to the numbers. We talk about what it takes to create an aggregate system like the one Nate Silver has made famous at FiveThirtyEight.com, and what we can learn from that system when applying it to fantasy sports. True, we do get lost in the weeds a bit, wondering what it is exactly about Trump that allows for such a… unique and fervored following, but before we get into real trouble of entering an echo chamber, we switch directly into examining Rudy’s tools, and some ways that we can take advantage of projection systems in fantasy football, and furthermore, have a great back and forth on how to go about targeting players who might break out. I wish we didn’t run out of time, but we’ll have Rudy back on soon, so until then, enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgraces and Delights, Week 9: Denver Runs Wild, Booker It

November 2, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 53 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 30: Running back Devontae Booker #23 of the Denver Broncos rushes for a touchdown in the third quarter of the game against the San Diego Chargers at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on October 30, 2016 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)

Greetings! Over these past few weeks I’ve often wondered: “Have they missed me since I’ve been gone?” Will my strongest supporters simply move on and attach themselves to any of the other talented Razzball writers, or will they mourn me by drinking and drugging themselves for the remainder of their miserable lives, slowly killing themselves in the memory of the Lord? What I can tell you is that I’ve spent the past couple weeks in the crater of Mt. Vesuvius, smoking mass quantities of peyote and drinking absinthe by the boatload, conversing with the Elder Gods about my future and what has been foreseen. The good news, you ask? My dream of my writing career surpassing my great many thong modeling accomplishments looks like a given, but the bad news, my goodmen, oh hohoho, you mustn’t never find out for only the scurviest of bottom feeders could possibly have the wherewithal to comprehend what I must do. They’ve rarely been wrong in their predictions for my life in the past. I mean, they did predict I would finish second overall in the FantasyPros rankings a few weeks back AND they informed me that some crazy hood rat would come out the woodwork, saying I owe her 500 dollars for blowing out the back of the gal watching her home while she was out of town. This gutter ferret had the gaul to threaten me on Facebook. ME! The Lord! My judgement shall be swift and merciless, and her destiny of bobbing for worm-infested apples, surrounded by diseased swine in the dank dungeon of House Beddict. Just because I put a dime piece in the perfect flex on her cheap ass bed certainly doesn’t mean that I broke and it certainly does not mean the Lord will throw some gold coins at her to shut her hole. Peasantry.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Working the Wire, Week 9: The Man in the Hightower

November 1, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Waiver Wire | 41 Comments

by: M@

While everyone is clamoring over Westworld (and for good reason…including our weekly Football Podcast!), a show with a little less fanfare, but just as intriguing of a plot, made its debut last year: The Man in the High Castle. Amazon’s alternate universe time piece won’t get the hype of Westworld, but the premise, the acting and the twists are just as dynamic. Before Season 2 debuts in December, it’s worth the binge.

Binging before December should happen every year. And no, not just through the gluttony of Thanksgiving. The weeks leading up to December are the final week of the fantasy football regular season, and now that we’re officially into November that means we’ve hit the home stretch of making your squad better. Can you recover from 2-6 to make the playoffs? Yep. In 2013 I began 2-6 and then rode Jamaal Charles greatest season to five straight wins for the 7th seed, then three more through the playoffs for the belt. I don’t see Jamaal doing that this year, as he’s visiting the three worst words in sports this week: Dr. James Andrews. But in his stead, There’s a New Chief in Westworld (the other title for this article I almost went with) that you can binge before the playoffs. Or…like last year you can ride a player into December that coincides with a certain Amazon show. From now until early December, it’s more than worth your time to stream The Man in the High~~Castle~~tower.

Here are the top targets to, well… target for Week 9!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

World Wide FAAB, Week 9: A.M. Wake Up Call

November 1, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Waiver Wire | 7 Comments

by: RotoLance

FAAB can be tricky. There’s a lot more nuance with FAAB waivers than waiver priority based waiver claims. This time of year it’s much more difficult for me to put price recommendations on these players because it really depends on your situation. There are some running backs this week that will be useful for another 1-2 weeks. Then there are some players that might not be useful until another 2-3 weeks. There are better acquisitions than Alfred Morris this week, but I think he is still under the radar, that’s why I highlighted him in the title and picture.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ursa Major

November 1, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 167 Comments

by: Jay

Some real good mature Cubs derp right there…

It only makes sense because Ursa Minor is in the World Series, you know, which is still going on. Because Bears-Cubs? Look guys, it’s Halloween and I’m tired and I’m staring at an unopened bag of Twix bars. This was never going to end well. And the same could be said for the Vikings, falling for the dreaded trap game, in prime time no less. A place that the Bears have been located for reasons unknown. And they currently have been in more prime time games than the Chiefs, Raiders, and Falcons, where you’d think the Bears would do what they do best, and that’s suffer in anonymity like the Titans do. So while it was a surprising win, I do understand why they put this game on for Halloween: It was still some horrifying football to watch. I told you, I have a plethora of Twix, the Cubs are in the World Series, Donald Trump is running for President, and the Bears are won a home game at night. We are definitely through the looking glass, and we need to get this over with as soon as possible…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

21 InGrams

October 31, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 74 Comments

by: Jay

One is an underrated story that fell apart under it’s own depressive weight and the other is the movie 28 Grams. For those who are wondering why Mark Ingram (3 CAR, 5 YDS, 1.7 AVG, 2 LONG, 1 FUM) did his best impersonation of Toby Gerhart, behold:

New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram lost a fumble for the second straight week during Sunday’s win over the Seattle Seahawks. …After that, all of the Saints’ handoffs went to Tim Hightower and rookie Daniel Lasco. Ingram was not available for comment in the locker room after the game. “He wasn’t carrying it loose,” Payton said of the fumble against the Seahawks. “They were able to just pull it free. We’ll be back to work with him.” Payton said not fumbling had been a point of emphasis for Ingram after the previous game, which explains the quick decision to go to Hightower. – Source.

I just want to add that Tim Hightower fumbled in the same game AND Ingram has five career fumbles. Five. You know, it would really screw up my week if I have to drive all the way out to New Orleans to punch Sean Payton in the d*ck. Anyhow, we’re here ~~to get ready for Halloween by eating a copious amount of Twix bars~~ to talk about Sunday’s games and Fantasy Football, so let’s get started!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sunday Games Live Thread, Week 8

October 30, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 197 Comments

by: Jay

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Well how about that. Some interesting matchups this Sunday, and it only took to the half point of the season to get there. And you know, sometimes I wonder if I’m a bit hard on the NFL, I actually don’t think I’ve spoken positively about the “presentation” part of the sport for quite some time. But then when you actually think about it, I’m pretty sure I should be even more negative. You have deflateghazi, the whole Josh Brown thing, the continuing and baffling crackdown on anything that may look like an emotion on the field, like trying to shoot a bow with an imaginary arrow or taking a picture with an imaginary camera… All of this, of course, has nothing to do with fantasy football, that is unless you prefer watching math develop on ESPN.com instead of watching, you know, the games… so color me a bit mystified as to why the NFL is trying so hard to gaslight us every weekend. On a lighter note, we do get what will probably be the best Sunday Night Football game of the year. Best game if you measure in derps. The NFC East is always the gift that keeps giving, and the greatest gift ever is when it’s the and Eagles and Cowboys. I think the only possibly way to make this even better is to throw the Giants in there for good measure. Have them play from sideline-to-sideline, because why not? Though, even playing the width of the field at 53 yards, McAdoo would still probably have trouble getting to the redzone…

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 8 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 8: Ware and Tear

October 29, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 51 Comments

by: Zach

spencer-ware-tackled

Hey guys! I’m glad to be back after a week off in which I took the ACT, but now I cannot wait to jump into Week 8 of the NFL season. Big thanks to the main man MB for taking over this column last week, he absolutely nailed it with some of the selections, most notably Jameis Winston and his dominating performance against the 49ers. But I’m still better-looking.

Anyway, I had to miss last week due to my taking of the ACT test, which reminded me of Fantasy Football. We prepare as long and as hard as we can, even maybe spending money to prep for the test, yet we still do not know what will be on it: so we need to not only be prepared for it, and we need some luck on our side. It helps if we also can pull off at least one lopsided. But I don’t know how that last statement refers to the ACT, but at least we got it out of the way.

This week kinda marks the halfway point of the year. Leave a comment down below of what your record is, and if I and this column, or even Razzball in general has contributed to your success. Or declines. Accentuate the positive.

Of first matchup of Week 8 comes between two styles of football in the AFC. One marked by a solid defensive unit, and on offense, marked by a traditional conservatism offensive attack, and in turned, marked by strength at the HB position. Then we have the Colts…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Deep Impact, Week 8: I Believe R. Kelley Can Fly

October 28, 2016 | 2016 Deep Leagues, 2016 Fantasy Football | 36 Comments

by: Alex Lee

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Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of Deep Impact! With a busy week of sports underway (World Series, NBA season opener, Joel Embiid gracing the Sixers court for real), it’s almost easy to forget that hey, they’re going to play NFL games this week! It’s even easier to forget that professional football is happening this week when writing this while watching the Jaguars. As usual for our series, we’ll take a look at players less than 10% owned for those of you who play in deep formats to think about Week 8 options. Also as usual for our series, I will arbitrarily break that threshold because dammit, sometimes there just isn’t a name under it that I would consider starting at a position. Don’t judge me!

Please, blog, may I have some more?