Who Are These Guys?, Week 7: Keep Diggs-ing Watson

Last week The Dillon Panthers, my team in the Razzball Writers League, scored 168.64 points, making quick work of Jay’s team and elevating me to an astounding 6-0 record. Out of all the RCL’s, there are currently only thirteen undefeated teams remaining. Yours truly is fired up to be a member of that list and will look to keep rolling this week. But before we step ahead into the future, let’s jump in our DeLorean DMC-12 and go back in time to last weekend and see what lineup would have been strong enough to have knocked me out of the ranks of the unbeaten.

When asked for a list of players that would have outscored 168.64 points, Biff Tannen opened his Gray’s Sports Almanac and muttered, “How about these buttheads” as he rattled off the following list of players. “Together they combined for 173.81 points. Now why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here.”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn more about our 2024 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

The best blend of accurate and bold weekly projections for QB/RB/WR/TE + PK + Defensive Teams and IDP as well as a kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!

Smokey Says, Week 7: Don’t Let Wilson Get Cast Away

October 21, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 26 Comments

by: Smokey

So, I always take on the week’s views of who I think you should roster that not everyone else is noticing, or really not paying attention to. The funniest thing is that my posts, for the past four weeks, which start on Wednesday and then echo to the following week, have been right on. Whatever it’s “on”, well, it can be whatever you so desire. They have been so on that I will say that I am a pioneer of sorts, minus the Sacajawea guide and the talks of irrational bowel syndrome from eating undetermined berries. I am normally not one to gloat or blow my own anything, but I just wanted to point out that the people who aren’t reading my post on a weekly basis are basically running to the wire the following week because the guy I told them to pick up just huffed and puffed and blew there fantasy world down. So this week, we are praying on the sick, the weak, the dizzy, and that is in the land of the best steaks I have ever encountered, Kansas City. This is where my home slice, Albert Wilson and beneficiary of this week’s highlight if, and that’s an if, Jeremy Maclin is still concussed. If that’s the case, Wilson will play a prominent role for the Chiefs this week against the Steelers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgraces and Delights, Week 7: Captain Kirk, Take Me Where No Man Has Taken Me Before

October 21, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 137 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! There ain’t no rest for the wicked, so I must push forward even while desiring nothing more than a hot bubble bath and a 500th viewing of the Paris Hilton sex tape. It’s a been a long day, a long week for that matter, as the Seattle Seahawks crumbled in the fourth quarter like Nicolas Cage the last time he auditioned in front of Scorsese. Now they travel to face their former archrival, the San Francisco 49ers, and the Elder Gods have been sending me signs all week that the final result will send me into the sort of life-altering tailspin that I read about in James Frey’s biography, A Million Little Pieces. You know, the one that turned out to be completely made up after he melted the hearts of Americans everywhere, letting us know that however screwed up we were, that we could overcome any obstacles in our path? Oh powerful Elders, I ask you here and now to bless me with a team I can get behind. Something to believe in to carry me through the unbearable tortures that life bestows upon us! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

Join Jay and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Through the Wire, Week 7: Hoyer Voyeur

October 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Waiver Wire | 93 Comments

by: Geoff

Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to discuss a problem that affects us all. That problem is Peyton Manning. Let’s imagine for a moment that all of you are as dumb as the author of this article, and you drafted Manning. I drafted him a lot, like all over. So before you look at me with judgmental stares, understand I’m not very smart, and I make it usual practice to kill as many brain cells as possible. So now that we’ve established the problem (Manning), and the reasons behind it (my lack of intellectual capacity). It’s time to discuss some solutions, and how we can triage this problem. Yes, I really wanted to use “triage” in a sentence…. Let’s begin by saying it’s the Broncos bye week, so even if for some God forsaken reason you decide to hold onto old fuss and feathers, you’re going to need a fill-in. For the rest of us rational thinking normies, we need a replacement. So begins our Wavier Wire adds for Week 7.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bear or Bull: The Return of Jafar

October 20, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 27 Comments

by: Son

In 2012, safety Donte Whitner said Colin Kaepernick’s nickname was Jafar from Aladdin. Works for me. But Jafar was the villain. And Kaepernick is a hero. He led the 49ers to the Super Bowl in his first year as the starter. Ron Jaworski said, “I truly believe Colin Kaepernick could be one of the greatest quarterbacks ever.” Then things started to change. Defenses figured out the read-option. As his weaknesses were exposed, the criticism mounted. Trent Dilfer in 2013 said, “While Kaepernick remains an incredible player and an incredible athlete, his development as a passer has ‘plateaued’ this season, and he hasn’t made enough progress in his second season as a starter.” The hero was slowly turning into the villain.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Benchwarmers, Week 7: Barnidge Burner

October 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 9 Comments

by: Doug

Luckily there are no major injuries this week that would kill fantasy football owners. Minor injuries? Sure, but that’s what I’m here for. To tell you who to stash, drop, and even start as well. This week, it’s time to part ways with some of our high draft picks even though my heart is literally in pain having to tell you some of them. Even though I did love some of them, I don’t as much anymore and have to let them go for the next “hot thing” to come along.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NFC East Wars: The Derp Awakens

October 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 100 Comments

by: Jay

Everyone have their Philadelphia-patented projectiles ready? Good. Let’s go. Let me just establish right off the bat, I did this. I’m the one who asked for derp. And the derp Gods did not disappoint in the slightest. In fact, the only competent thing about last night’s game was the premier of the newest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, (which you can watch after the jump if you missed it, I’ve already watching it like 98 times… in the past hour). To make an apt Grudenism: “THIS GAME, I CALL IT “EPISODE I”, BECAUSE WE’RE HERE FOR STAR WARS, BUT WE’RE SEEING A SH*T-SHOW INSTEAD.” Honestly, if you watched this game, you wonder if Tom Coughlin might be the one to retire before either Manning. And I include Eli, because it might have been a possibility during half time. There were three fumbles, three interceptions, penalties galore, an injured middle-linebacker… and that was just the Eagles! So here’s a very technical football question for everyone: how did they win? Remember, we’re talking about the hurry up three-and-out offense that the Raiders perfected, and that Chip Kelly added his own uniqueness to this season, that was in full force last night… It’s almost as if the teams were playing each other knowing that the winner would win an all expense paid trip to Somalia. So here we are. The Giants beat Washington. Washington beat the Eagles. And the Eagles have now beaten the Giants. The circle of… derp? Yeah, I think so.

Note: I’d like to congratulate the winner of the FanDuel Razzball Contest that ended last night. “ksmily06” was the winner of our 55-player league, and comes away with $60.00 and a free buy-in the upcoming week’s million dollar contest (a $25.00 value)! All top-12 finishers ended up part of the prize pool, and don’t worry, if you missed out on this contest, you can join in the next contest starting this Thursday!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Monday Night Football Live Thread, Week 6: Giants vs. Eagles

October 19, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 14 Comments

by: Jay

As any Razzball reader would attest, to me, these NFC East games are always considered to be beautiful bundles of absolute derp. The last prime time divisional match-up was in Week 3 when Washington took on the Giants. In that Thursday Night Live Thread, I had mentioned that the Cowboys and Giants games usually provided enough for my own personal derp quota (along with Washington versus the Gaints), and I feel like I left out this particular divisional rivalry, which has had it’s own highlight moments and unique (lol) fan experiences. This season’s first divisional game between the two teams is interesting in that we get to make fun of Chip Kelly more for being so innovative this offseason, and also keep a close look on Eli Manning to see if he’s learned anything about clock management. To his credit, Manning’s already surpassed Andy Reid in that area. There’s a lot at stake tonight, as we are approaching the half-point of the season still waiting for a team to take advantage of the Cowboys injuries which should have gifted first place to whatever team wanted it. Like a incredulous bizarro game of hot potato, not one NFC East team has taken the bait, and all seem content wasting away in the great football ocean of mediocrity. Which could also describe the Atlantic. So here we are, Monday Night Football and the battle for first place in the NFC East. Smart money says this ends in a tie…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Soviet Indianapolis, Blount Smokes You

October 19, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 73 Comments

by: Jay

Good god, what was that?

In what, dare I say, was a pretty good football game for a majority of the time (let’s just agree to not include a very morose and slug-paced fourth quarter), the Patriots continued their trend of ~~deflating balls~~, ~~cheating~~, ~~receiving biased officiating~~, beating the Colts, which, based on recent history, was really no surprise. However, as I mentioned in last night’s Sunday Night Football Live Thread, this game really had no business being close, and it’s a testament to either Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis offense playing competently or the New England defense not being as good as we thought. In this case, it might have been a little of both (not including fourth downs, as shown above). But eventually, nature was able to drive the score to it’s most natural environment when mistakes from the Colts started to stack, all with a heaping side of LeGarrette Blount to help drive it all home. Which leads me to wonder, when the Colts draft defensive players, do they make sure that they can’t tackle first? Haha, just kidding, the Colts only draft wide receivers. With the win, the Patriots continue, along with the Bengals, Broncos, Packers, and Panthers to be the only unbeaten teams through Week 6. I’d say half of those teams are mediocre and the other half deserve their record. I’ll let you figure out which team gets the 0.5 left over from that equation…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sunday Night Football Live Thread, Week 6: Patriots vs. Colts

October 18, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 34 Comments

by: Jay

In what used to be an interesting rivalry back when it when it was Tom Brady against Peyton Manning, the new iteration of Tom Brady versus Andrew Luck hasn’t really lived up to the past, especially when you include the amount of deflating balls we’ve witnessed. Well, to be honest, not even the past has lived up to the past, with the Patriots firmly winning most of these match-ups no matter who the quarterback was. This season’s annual Patriots and Colts game seems no different, as New England is favored to win this game by an estimated bajillion points. So many points, that there were a few in Indianapolis that thought benching Andrew Luck was not such a bad idea. To be fair, only a few actually live in Indiana, so I’m not sure how strong that argument is. That being said, this being a Sunday Night Football game, I’m sure we’re going to get the best game that football could ever offer in all of our lives. LOL.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Late Games Live Thread, Week 6

October 18, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 23 Comments

by: Jay

Well, despite my completely abnormal and masochistic homerism of my Chargers, I do try (really!) not to focus them unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. That allows you, the reader, not to be inundated by Chargers analysis and commentary ad nauseam (nausea also works here) and also allows me not to look so terrible when I say something positive about my Chargers and them going ahead and doing what they do best, and that’s sh*t the bed. This week though, I don’t really have a choice with the Late Games Live Thread, seeing has how the Ravens and 49ers game would have been more entertaining if it didn’t involve either the Ravens or the 49ers, and while the Seahawks certainly have a level of popular notoriety, only about 10 people live in Carolina (either one) and I’m sick of watching people throw fish. I lived there for almost a decade, we have more than that and Space Needle! Regardless, the Chargers are coming off a Monday night loss against the Michael Vick led Steelers, and seeing as how he went something like 2-for-4 with -8 passing yard today, I’m just going to go ahead and witness the Packers destroying any semblance of happiness I could had left this Sunday.

For the record though, the Chargers have one game per season where they overachieve and somehow manage to win against a heavily favored opponent. Is this that game? Totally! (Homerism alert.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Early Games Live Thread, Week 6

October 18, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 114 Comments

by: Jay

Peak Lions.

I usually dedicate this space for what is the marquee match-up of the time slot. True, I dictate those decisions, so there’s a measure of bias, to be sure. Which is why you should feel lucky that the Chargers aren’t playing until this afternoon, but looking at the schedule for all the early games today, there is something strikingly lacking. And that’s a marquee game, as you might have sensed, there are none. But more than that, there are literally no compelling games whatsoever, probably a first since, well, whenever the last Browns and Buccaneers were playing against each other. Washington versus the Jets? Meh. Cardinals against a Benless Steelers? Eh. Chiefs without Charles visiting the Vikings? Eeesh. Texans against the Jaguars? Holy sh*t. So let’s just focus on what is probably the worst game of the week, and that’s the race to the bottom of the NFC North by the Bears and the 0-5 Lions. Haha, just kidding. Like anybody wants to hear about that…

Rankings have been updated for today’s games and can be found here.

Join myself and your peers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?