DraftKings: RGIII Is RGFree At This Price

November 12, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, DraftKings | 136 Comments

How much do I love a cheap QB? Let me count the ways…hrm, let’s not. I have about $6,300 worth of words built up here and I don’t think even with as long winded as I am I could get this all done by Wednesday morning. There are some things I typically appreciate over on DraftKings. One of these things is easily bye weeks. Not sure what the algorithm is that DK uses but for some reason it seems to spit guys coming off buy weeks out much cheaper than they should be. Unless they’re a Patriot and no I’m not referring to Mel Gibson’s American version of Braveheart there (we’ll get to that later…the football stuff not Mel Gibson, sugar tits). In the end, bye weeks tend to underprice guys. Is it a ‘what have you done for me lately’ thing? Is it a glitch in the Matrix? Did someone simply divide by zero? Who knows. All I know is that Tampa Bay is Tampa Bad, giving up the third most passing TDs and allow a 68% completion rate to them on the year. With Robert Griffin III at home and coming off a bye with a reasonable week in his back pocket from week 9 (250/1/1 with 34 rushing yards), I could see him having a strong week 11. Passing for 300 with 2 to 3 TDs wouldn’t be out of the question in my book, although game flow will largely dictate that as they’re a full touchdown favorite this week. The likelihood of him going nuts is pretty minimal so I’d simply say he’s a nice cash game play unless he helps you build a monster GPP roster for the week. Deploy as needed. But enough RG3, let’s get on with what else there is to see. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 11 DK slate…

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Waiver Wired, Week 11: They’re Baaaaack!

by: Andrew Nordmeier

This week’s waiver wire column is going to explore the returning player. The focus is on the players who are coming back off lengthy layoffs after injuries. Of course, we’ll still try to catch lightning in a bottle too and help your team that way. That said, let’s dive in.

First, let’s talk about Adrian Peterson. He’s not coming back from an injury, but from a suspension… or so we hope. There is going to be some legal wrangling this week over whether or not Peterson can come back to play this season or not, so it will need time to play out. Hopefully a decision gets made this week to give us some clarity. Even if he’s not 100% ready to go, you need to stash him on your roster. If nothing else, ensure that other owners don’t get their hands on him. With his talents and a plush schedule, Peterson could be the ultimate shot-in-the-arm add to any fantasy team. If he doesn’t pan out, you can toss him back and try again. If it does, you have fantasy gold. The thing to keep in mind is there is some internal strife within the Vikings front office about whether or not to bring him back. Minnesota is 4-5 and three games behind 7-2 Detroit for the top spot in the NFC North. Sure, there are other factors at play, but it is worth giving consideration to adding AP. I’ve been picking him up much as in the same way it’s time to get another guy in the same boat.

That other guy is Cleveland wide receiver Josh Gordon. It’s worth checking the wire to see if the dynamic wide receiver is there. He would make awesome trade bait if you can pick him up. Things set up nicely for Gordon with his schedule (HOU, ATL, BUF, IND, CIN, CAR, BAL) and that matchup against Carolina on championship week is inviting. We saw Mark Sanchez abuse the Carolina defense last night and Gordon could go nuts.

Realistically, it would be difficult to see either of them being available on the waiver wire but we mention them anyways. Take a second and scan anyways. Let’s go to reality now.

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Hit it or Quit it, Week 11: Whoa Here She Comes, She’s a Maneater

November 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 41 Comments

by: Jennifer

Well, well, well, here we are again my lovelies, trudging on into Week 11 of the 2014 Fantasy Football season. As we near the playoffs, one thing is certain, our hooptied rosters are still plugging along like the good jalopies they are, and the Dominatrix-style punishments we endure week after week are nearing an end. Thankfully, unlike that Dominatrix, some of you don’t have to pay for this punishment, but unfortunately, there is no safe word. So take it like the good sex slaves you are. On another note, the Fantasy Gods have been generous with yours truly this past week, as I managed to squeeze out a solid 4-2 with my teams. Hell, even the stalker living in the bushes outside of my house has started to watch me sleeping through my window at night again. Ah, yes, all feels right with the universe. It is probably because I am completely and utterly satiated on the man souls my “Black Widow Curse” claimed this past week. Hey, Hall and Oates warned you… “watch out boys, she’ll chew you up.” All this time I have been fighting it, but in reality, giving in and embracing it for all of its man-soul chewing glory satisfies me more than any piece of chocolate, depraved sexual fantasy of Jordan Cameron ever has. So, as we march ever onward, follow me, my lovelies, into Week 11’s episode of Hit it or Quit it.

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KC’s Review, Week 10: Here’s to the Players

November 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 19 Comments

by: KC

Holy Crap! Week 10 is already over, and I officially only have a guaranteed three weeks left with my team. I seriously hate good-byes, and I’m freaking out knowing I have such little time left with my team. Sure, I’m bias, but after ten weeks, you could say I am a tad connected to my team. And I am not afraid to say that this year’s team might be my favorite yet… Yeah, they piss me off some weeks, but for the majority of the weeks, they always make me proud. Thankfully for this week, they made me proud. (Do I sound crazy?)

I have to think a lot of ya’ll woke up this morning with the same pride (unless you suffered from the bye-weeks), because so many guys went off this week, and even the mediocre seemed to show up. Those of you who woke up really happy probably had Marshawn Lynch (40 freaking points in non-PPR leagues). It was nice to see a non-QB player go off and get so many points. His performance reminded me of Doug Martin, circa 2012, where his 50 something point game won the match-up for all his league owners. I feel like Lynch’s had to be the same for his owners. (Could anyone possibly lose if they started him?)

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These Are Now Nacho-Powered Eagles

November 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 132 Comments

by: Jay

So after a Sunday night game that saw the quick dismantling of a fading dumpster fire of a team, we were able to see the exact same thing for Monday Night Football. How charming! It’s times like this when you really wonder if your investments into the local liquor stores are paying off like they should. There was certainly plenty of derp that became easily accessible from Matt Sanchez starting, but despite throwing what should have been an interception early in the game, he was able to do some interesting things with Carolina’s gift-giving. Speaking of which, there’s gift-giving, and then there’s “Here, have my house and everything that’s in it”. Hint, the Panthers did the latter. With a chance to move back into first place in the profoundly terrible NFC South, the Panthers instead allowed Darren Sproles to do whatever tiny things he does. And while the Eagles and Cowboys seemed to be playoff bound, the entire NFC South probably needs a flotation device to keep from drowning. For context, the 1-8 Buccaneers could win three straight and theoretically, based on what the division did, be a lock for the playoffs. That’s some scary sh*t right there.

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Go Home Bears, You’re Drunk

November 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 90 Comments

by: Jay

Well, that was interesting. But only if you’re a Packers fan. Ben Roethlisberger? This is Aaron Rodgers, and he just escalated the situation by scoring 6 touchdowns and NOT losing to the Jets. Which seems like an insurmountable escalation right there. If you missed it (you probably should have), the Bears once again confirmed that they are a terrible football team. If they didn’t come out after half-time, already losing 0-42, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. I doubt the Packers would have noticed, that’s for sure. But who doesn’t want to make history? So for the first time in 90 years, the Bears have now given up 50 plus points in consecutive games. And the ~~funniest~~ ~~saddest~~ realist part of all this? Oh yeah, that’s right, this is the Bears coming off a bye. Silly Jets fans, and you thought the 2015 first overall draft pick was yours for the taking…

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Sunday Games, Week 10: Dolphins Good?

November 9, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Gameday | 88 Comments

by: Jay

Ladies and gentlemen: Florida.

Remember the early season hype on the Dolphins? To be honest, I’d probably remember it better if those same people who hyped them up didn’t backtrack faster than a Michael Jackson moonwalk after Miami started the season 2-3. But after winning three straight on the heels of a capable Ryan Tannehill, a functional Lamar Miller, and an underrated defense, we probably have to take them seriously as a possible playoff team. Granted, the three wins were against a Titantic-sinking Bears team, the Jaguars (no adjectives necessary) and a San Diego team that is 93% IR eligible. Thus enters the Detroit Lions and the return of Calvin Johnson. Which I guess also signifies the return of Matthew Stafford to being mediocre instead of just terrible. And while it’s surprising that the Lions have gone 6-2 with such a derpy offense and a running game that matches my walking game, you’d have to think this is the type of match-up that could signify which team is for real. Or maybe not. So I guess it’s just like every other Week 10 game that doesn’t involve the Jags or Bucs, who don’t need to tell us anything. Just go home, both of you are drunk.

Week 10 Rankings have been updated for today’s games, for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

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The Stats Machine, Week 10: Taste the Rainbow

November 8, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 25 Comments

by: malamoney

About a week ago, all the buzz in Seattle was about how the decision makers had grown tired of Marshawn Lynch’s antics and that they were ready to chase to him out of town with pitchforks. Apparently, Lynch has a very tense relationship with head coach Pete Carroll and they have little to no communication. You’re kidding me, right? Those two seem like they’d be two peas in a pod. I just had a great idea for a reality show. Lynch and Carroll have to live together in a college dorm room! Every time Pete comes back to their room Marshawn has one of Pete’s ties around the doorknob. Why would Lynch want to be bothered with his head coach when he could care less about the nation’s president? Lynch’s decision to be a “no show” to the team’s Super Bowl victory celebration at the White House did not go over well with many. Sorry Obama, but Marshawn had better things to do than pay you a visit…

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Betting With Beddict, Week 10: Seahawks Rebound by Massacring the Giants

November 8, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 30 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Week 9: 7-6, Overall: 55-48-1, Locks: 5-1

Greetings! Beddict’s back in the hizzy, already 0-1 this week after Andy Dalton was brought to his knees as if he was Miley Cyrus, after spiking (NSFW… kinda) her own drink with multiple mollys. I apologize, for I feel wrong comparing Andy Dalton to someone with real talent. Is there anything grosser than Miley going full camel toe, sticking her demonic tongue out, and twerking that pasty pancake ass? Sure there is… Andy Dalton playing QB in the National Football League. That was one of the most embarrassingly pathetic performances I’ve witnessed from a QB in my many days upon this earth. Not since Curtis “Putrid” Painter started almost the entire season when the Colts were tanking (not talked about enough) to get Andrew Luck, have I been cursed with watching such peon like play. Seems like a great guy in real life though… moving on. Let’s get to this week’s picks, shall we? The quest for the perfect week continues.

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Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 10: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

November 8, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 41 Comments

by: waterloo

When a starting quarterback goes down for a team, it’s usually catastrophic. Sure, you’ll have your Kurt Warner/Trent Green and Tom Brady/Drew Bledsoe stories, but more often than naught, it means a big blow to the team. That’s not the case for the Philadelphia Eagles. Sure, no one wants to see anyone get hurt, but this is fantasy, baby. It happens, and you look for the new shiny toy to come in and lead you on a run to the championship.

This week, that new toy is Mark Sanchez. Yes, that Mark Sanchez. The butt-fumbling, hot dog eating, former quarterback of the New York Jets. With a fractured collarbone, Eagles’ quarterback Nick Foles is expected to miss quite a bit of time. For fantasy and real life purposes, that’s perfectly fine.

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Handcuff Report, Week 10: Boobies, Bobbys, and Jonas.

November 7, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 29 Comments

by: Geoff

Over the past few weeks we’ve had handcuffs breakout as temporary starters (Jeremy Hill), handcuffs keep the seat warm (Bobby Rainey), handcuffs to handcuffs become starters (Boobie Dixon), and practice squad players become viable fuzzy handcuffs (Jonas Gray). It’s a crazy mixed up world this handcuffing game, but us real hustlerz stay on our grind. Snatching your handcuffs, before you can get mine. It’s the way to championships and riches, we brought you Justin Forsett, Chris Ivory, and Denard (Robinson) Snitches! Liffy Out! Sorry for the random freestyle, but I needed to put you up on game. Lifshitz is so street that I have hood passes witout expiration dates. That’s another story for a never time..Yes, I meant to type never, because I’m not telling you….nan-never-ever. You want to fight?? That was street right? Hay-Zeus I’m rhyming again, oops. On to the handcuffs!

Note: Don’t forget to come visit me on the new Razzball Fantasy Soccer home everyday of the week. Smokey and I have leagues registering now. If you’re not familiar with the format, NBD, relax, you got us. Smokey and I are giving you the best Fantasy Premier League coverage out there. If you haven’t tried fantasy EPL, you’re missing out. So sign up and use us as your guide.

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Factory of Sadness Now Manufacturing Glimmers of Hope

November 7, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 93 Comments

by: Jay

Well, that was an interesting game, said no one ever. To be honest, I’m not sure what I was expecting from a game featuring two teams that originate from the state that created Skyline Chili, but I suppose this would be a fair enough assessment of where they stand in all things. Whatever that means. For all intents and purposes, the game ended with a little over four minutes expired in the first quarter as Ben Tate rushed for a touchdown on a Browns possession that resulted from an early Andy Dalton interception. The two teams kept playing for the next two hours, though I have no idea why. Probably just to troll us. Thanks Ohio! In other news, the Browns have a winning record in November. Wait, what?

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