With our fake football season winding down you are either in the playoffs, positioning yourself for the sprint to the Shiva or crying Knowshon Moreno tears because you drafted Aaron Rodgers and Arian Foster. Need a hug? If you are in, congratulations. All those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family paid off. Cheers, I raise my whiskey glass to you. If you are out, all those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family were for naught. And your wife just served the divorce papers. There’s nothing like spending Christmas with your best friend Johnny Walker at the Motel 6. For those playoff bound, it is no time to quit it with the chronic rosterbating. Don’t worry you won’t go blind, but you may need glasses. It is however, time to stop taking chances on the “upside” guys. But Guru, doesn’t Ace Anders have a lot of potential. Yeah, I know disembodied voice of Razzball Nation, but potential is one thing in Week 3, it is quite another as we head into the playoffs. Stick with your consistent ballers, that’s who got you here. I only need one defense, right Mr. Turban? Well, my fellow Razzballer, if you are one of those that doesn’t own the Seattle or Carolina defense, don’t stop streaming the D now. Find the best matchup for the week and look ahead to the next few weeks. If you have roster room, pick up the defenses that have the best matchups going forward, i.e., any team facing the Jags or the Jets. If you don’t have room for three defenses, drop the dead weight off your roster. Trent Richardson isn’t going to turn into AP anytime soon. Whattabout kicker’s? Grab three of those, too? Don’t get all crazy now, Taco. One kicker will do, just make sure he’s on a high scoring team, plays in dome or has a good weather matchup. But, o wise guru, there’s nothing good on the waiver wire. Not true, my playoff bound friend. Just choose wisely. That’s why I’m here. The fake footballin’ championship is within your grasp and all the glory, bragging rights, cash and prizes are there for the taking. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
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RCL Football Update: Week 13
December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 14 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
Only one week of regular season action is left! That means two weeks, yes “TWO WEEKS!” (thanks Total Recall lady) and you’ll know who has made the finals. Where did the season go? Just flew right on by… Unfortunately for me, it’s looking like only the Writer’s League team will be a playoff contender and finish anywhere close to the top of the RCL table. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.
TOP SCORER: A big “HIP HIP HOORAY!” for The White Broncos in the Razzball Rebels league who put up a whopping 217.42 points this week to crush the RCL field. Led be a ridiculous Elway/Decker combo this week plus getting the big Alshon game put the Broncs on the mantle, etched in RCL stone for all eternity! Nice work! The big points has the Broncos a very good shot at making the playoffs despite being 5th in the standings right now, while another win for Poon Jab has them at 10-3 and leading the league.
Russell Wilson Doesn’t Come Up Short
December 3, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 161 Commentsby: Sky
Monday Night Football is all about the narrative, whatever that narrative might be. What story could we blatantly exacerbate that builds up what was already a notable game between two playoff bound teams in the Saints and the Seahawks you ask? Well why not talk about the shorties on the field, right? Where’s T-Pain when you need him? I ask because Russell Wilson needs an auto-tuned ballad rapped about his abilities to play bigger than he really is. Tonight’s matchup was all about featuring the little guy as RW3 was pitted against DB9 in a battle that would ultimately clear the argument: who really was the world’s tallest midget QB? I keed, of course. I’m just blathering about pointless conjecture. I don’t care how tall you are at QB, I just want you to ball dawg. Russell Wilson proved tonight that not every short QB from Seattle played like Rick Mirer as he went for 310 passing yards on 22/30 to go with 47 yards rushing and 3 passing TDs. Now I got a weird look when I put @DangerRussWilson #3 in the weekly rankings but maybe I’ve been too clued into what he’s been doing of late and y’all have not. I just don’t know. What I do know is coming into week 13, he’d been on fire and I couldn’t ignore that given he was at home in a marquee matchup on Monday Night Football. Minus his bye week, RW3 has been a top 10 QB over the last 4 weeks heading into MNF and he kept that trend, finishing 2nd in scoring by ESPN standards. Moving forward, the only worry I have is a letdown game in week 15 if the Seahawks triumph against the 49ers in San Fran but the road to a decent end to the year seems well within reach. I had him ranked as the 6th best QB heading into the year. He was 8th heading into MNF after everyone else had played. Something tells me that call wasn’t too far off now like many may have perceived. Don’t worry, I made up for it by putting Robert Griffin, III 5th, of course. Neverthewho! Here’s what else I saw in the game for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Decker The Halls
December 2, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 78 Commentsby: Sky
Tis the season, right? Unless you’re not of the xmas-religion affinity. I wish I had something for you but I have zero knowledge of Decker-related things I could say about Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and all the other holiday things I could talk about here. Happy Winter Solstice? What about Festivus for the rest of us? Don’t leave, I swear I’ll be more inclusive! The holidays are much like ordering a large pizza for a room full of college students: all drunk and stoned and should be doing their homework. Wait, no! Well yes but more so you can’t please everyone. No way no how. They don’t usually let you order pizza with different toppings on every piece. There’s also something else that doesn’t always make people happy: the Denver passing attack. It was a concern coming into the year that there would be a few guys left out in the cold most of the year, if not the whole year. Well much like life, those Broncos have ebbed and flowed. Early on, it was Welker. Then DT got it turned on for a stretch. The Orange Julius had been oddly one of the more consistent of the slick quatro (yeah, it’s not their nickname; just made it up) but he’s been out with a leg issue the last two weeks. So in the stead of an underused Welker and a missing OJ, someone had to step up and on this day it was Eric Decker who finished with 8 receptions, 174 receiving yards and a whopping 4 TDs. He only had 3 total coming into Sunday on the year. The end line for Decker is gonna look fine on the surface. He’ll go well over 1,000 yards receiving and may still end with 10 TDs. But I give the fair warning that I’ll probably say the same thing about Welker when the season’s over and I think we both know how that has been of late. Moving into 2013, these two are gonna go much higher than I’m gonna be willing to pay for in most leagues due to inconsistency. Sure it’s nice when this happens but how many of you experienced this Decker explosion on your bench? Exactly, there was a good reason he was there to start the day. Don’t forget that when 2014 hits. In other news from week 13 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Last Second Decisions – Avoiding A Thanksgiving Hangover
December 1, 2013 | Last Second Decisions | 131 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
I hope everyone in Razzball Nation had a nice Thanksgiving! I decided to buck the trend and roasted up Tehol’s chicken for my centerpiece. Fingerlickin’ good!
So we’ve already had our three Thanksgiving games, and you’re all set with a round of leftovers for the rest of week 13. You’ve got gravy all over one hand and turkey grease from the wing all over the other, and you’re just not worrying about looking at you line-up. No one is on bye right?! But with all teams now in action, it gives you a lot more line-up decisions. A lot more “last second decisions.” Hey, that’s the name of the article! Yeah, I had nothing else better to run with in my Thanksgiving hangover. My stomache feels like an ever-expanding mushroom [gravy] cloud of stuffing. But I’m ready to go for today, ready to help you get into the playoffs, and ready for one last turkey sandwich while my Panthers wipe out da Bucs.
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The Handcuff Report – Montee Ball says “Let’s Make a Deal”
November 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 34 Commentsby: J-FOH
Oh how injuries make a man cry, no not the hurt guy, this guy….ME! I’m a Bronco fan, been one since Elway was still at Stanford. My uncle has been a season ticket holder since the team was born in 1960 and my dad went to their first game ever, an exhibition over summer vacation as a teenager. I cry because Montee Ball scares the crap out of me. He could finish the day with 90 yards, 2 TD’s and 3 fumbles….OK, I’m over reacting. He only has three fumbles on the season and the first two were in September, but as they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” He’s been getting some playing time lately so we have a baseline to go with. Over the last 4 games he’s averaged 4 YPC, scored 3 TD’s on the ground and caught 6 balls. Dive deeper into that, he had two of those scores vs. the Chiefs in week 11 and we can reasonably expect 1TD and at least 65 yards and 4 catches against them this week. If Moreno is out, Ball’s a flex play in my book, if your league doesn’t have a flex spot then I suggest going on to your league message board and direct your commissioners over here so we can set them straight. We here at Razzball have no problem spreading the good word for proper format.
Last week our resident freestyler never showed up for his return performance. Egotistical rappers! I forgot to put out his bowl of green M&M’s and 6 blunts in the green room. I’m sensing a theme with him. Get out of your camper down by the river and show up Prezzi.
I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving, good or bad, Please share your stories of heavy drinking, fights, delicious food and any small fires or ER trips.
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Sawbones Scribings Week 13 – Le’Veon Got His Bell Rung
November 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Injury Report | 3 Commentsby: Andrew Nordmeier
Yesterday’s games left us with two thoughts. First, how are Le’Veon Bell and Rashad Jennings going to be for next week after suffering head injuries? Secondly, where’s the Pepto? I ate waaaaaay too much and it’s not sitting well. Even the turkey basted with butter every half hour that tasted like heaven.
Both of them looked wobbly at best coming off of the field. Bell’s hit looked harder since his head hit the turf after his helmet came off.
Jennings looked wobblier than Grandma’s Jell-o mold. They both had really good days but be glad they have extra days off before their next game. Look for reports on Wednesday of next week to clarify these two running backs.
Around the rest of the league we go in a short list form. Some us have to work the day after Thanksgiving, you know.
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Three Servings Of Thanksgiving Night Football
November 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 84 Commentsby: Sky
I am not gonna lie, I’m doing this the lazy way. I just spent the day watching football, cleaning house, watching more football, taking the dog for a walk, watching more football, drinking, watching, more drinking…well, you get the point. I’m gonna recap that which is recappable and ignore that which is recrappable. And sadly, there was much that could’ve gone in the pie hole today and instead came out another one. But that’s for the reviews and we ain’t there yet, we’re still talking in the opener soooo…um, welcome to your Turkey hangover I guess? I don’t know what else to say. I’m typing this pre-podcast with the crew over at Revelation Sports. Little to their knowledge, they’re getting me three beers in. Ok, I fib, I’m at about five and really I still have an hour to get a couple more in. I pray for all involved that I don’t say something stupid like ‘start all Green Bay Packer wide receivers’. That would really make me look drunk, right? Ok, I’m foreshadowing. Let’s antishadow and get this going. Here’s the three servings of Thanksgiving Night Football for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
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Bet the Farm: NFL Week 13 Betting Contest
November 28, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 9 Commentsby: Josh Carey
Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:
- You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
- You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
- Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
- You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
- Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
- New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
- New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.
Standings After Week 12:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Weekly Rankings: Victor Cruz Adds Some Salsa To Your Turkey Day
November 28, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 153 Commentsby: Sky
True facts: I don’t believe there’s much variance this week to talk about. It’s like I ate some turkey earlier than you and passed out. Snore-o-rama up in this bish, right? It’s not very often I’m humbled into yammering about having a player like Victor Cruz up 8 in standard rankings over where everyone else has him. Reason? He’s usually backed up poor performances with pretty big games afterwards. Don’t believe me? Well you see, you’re on the internet reading this so you could probably just google it…hint, hint. It’s been a rocky year for the Salsa Dance man but I fully expect him to shine this coming Sunday. Overall, it was a hard week to rank. There are more Q’s in these than a Dairy Queen managers convention. Don’t ask. I have zero clue if that’s such a thing. Over in the world of QBs, Josh McCown drops by your top 5. He tells me to tell you hi. I guess I believe in EJ Manuel more than you while I’m at it. Nah, really just disbelieve the Falcons and their complete and utterly destructive 2013 season to date, especially on defense. At RB, Roughshod gets a top 10 nomination again and makes me wonder what he has to do to get respect at this point. Oh and Arizona is gonna give up some points to one of the Eagles TEs this week. Maybe both. But probably one…and I don’t know which one but I’m banking on Ertz if I’m making a choice to take a chance here. Defenses, it seems people are slowly becoming aware that Tampa Bay has finally shown back up. Think that Panthers vs Bucs game is gonna be a lot closer and defensively contested the whole way than people think. And finally, some quick gambling bits: Dennis Johnson could finally do what many have tried to in Texas do before and that’s sucede from the union. Marquise Goodwin and Justin Hunter are fringe WR3 players of note. Finally, I expect Colin Kaepernick to come back to Earth this Sunday. Kickers, as always, were ranked with love and care by some children we paid less than minimum wage to in a small, poorly ventilated room in a far off land. Don’t let their efforts be forgotten. And with that, let’s get this show on the road. Here’s week 13 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…
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Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Thirteen For 2013 Fantasy Football
November 27, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 19 Commentsby: Kevin Kumpf
As we enter the final week of the fantasy regular season, there are three types of teams out there. First, the teams that have been eliminated. You can still play spoiler and ruin your friend’s year, but unless there is a weekly points prize, you don’t have much to play for. Next, there are the […]
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Week 13 Players to Play/Avoid: When the Le’Veon Breaks
November 27, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 52 Commentsby: Loudon
For many fantasy football leagues, this is the week that decides whether or not you’re in the playoffs. The good news is that a lot of the top tier talent has fantastic matchups. Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Matt Forte, and Frank Gore were likely all taken in the first or early second round at the beginning of the season and if you were smart/lucky enough to draft them then, they are sure to guide you to victory this week. There are exceptions to that, of course, but you didn’t draft them quite as early.
Knowshon Moreno only gained 79 yards against Kansas City two weeks ago and this week he faces them again, this time nursing a bone bruise somewhere around his ankle. The injury doesn’t sound serious, but the matchup is. If you’re comfortable with 8 points from your RB2/3 then go ahead and start him, but don’t count on a huge week from the Denver feature back.
Le’Veon Bell is in a very similar position to Moreno. In week 7, he had less than 10 fantasy points against Baltimore’s tough run defense. This week he travels to Baltimore to face them again. He’s clearly the workhorse for the Steelers so he’s difficult to sit, but he’s unlikely for a score in a crucial week for fantasy teams.
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