I’ll admit it. That was probably the best Sunday Night Football game of the season, and it had everything I’ve come to expect from an NFC East divisional game. It’s almost as if the Giants and Washington were there in spirit. In what was the second and final match-up between the Eagles and Cowboys, the game feature two quarterbacks that would probably be quite successful at the collegiate level. And most likely Canadian Football. And the aforementioned ingredients for this divisional game? All there. Turnovers, questionable officiating, amazing plays, the bi-weekly Sean Lee injury (honestly, Lee needs to be banned from playing football for his own good), back and forth scores leading to overtime, and of course, derp. In the end, the Cowboy’s failed to tackle anything during overtime (last play shown above) and now the Eagles have an insurmountable lead in the division at 4-4, good for second. Because Giants, that’s why. So… in summation: F*ck Greg Hardy.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 9’s Sunday games…

Cole Beasley – 9 REC, 112 YDS, 2 TD. If you make it a yards per inch in height, I am pretty sure Beasley put up some record numbers last night.

Odell Beckham Jr. – 9 REC, 105 YDS. Shockingly, the Giants strategy was to throw to OBJ. How could have the Buccaneers seen it coming?

LeGarrette Blount – 29 CAR, 129 YDS, 1 TD. Washington’s “no touching” defense was met with predictable results.

Blake Bortles – 24/40, 381 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT and 4 CAR, 32 YDS, 1 FUM. BUMBLING BLAKE BORTLES BADLY BOBBLED BALL.

Teddy Bridgewater – 13/21, 144 YDS, 1 INT and 3 CAR, 17 YDS, 1 TD. Teddy Bridgewater, I’d like you to meet Concussion Protocol. Concussion Protocol, Mr. Bridgewater. Seriously though, that play by Lamarcus Joyner was dirty as f*ck, lowering your shoulder and elbow into a sliding quarterback. A cheap play by a cheap player, and pretty much typical from a Jeff Fisher/Gregg Williams defense.  Not sure why the Rams would move to Los Angeles when they’d fit beautifully underneath a meteor.

Antonio Brown – 17 REC, 284 YDS and 2 CAR, 22 YDS. Who on the Raiders thought it was a good idea to wear all that Brown?

Derek Carr – 24/44, 301 YDS, 4 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 3 YDS. So, at what point do you think Derek Carr will remember that his last name is “Carr”? I mean, it’s a little late in the season for them to stop over-achieving… but it is still the Raiders. I’m sure they’ll find a way.

Matt Cassel – 25/38, 299 YDS, 3 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 17 YDS. In order for Cassel to effectively operate, you need to form a moat around him.

Brandin Cooks – 4 REC, 73 YDS, 1 TD. Brandin Cooks actually caught some passes? Is it the apocalypse?

Jerricho Cotchery – 3 REC, 82 YDS. Am I the only one who always thinks “Hehe crotch”, when Cotchery does something?

Jeff Cumberland – 1 REC, 44 YDS. The Army of Cumberland struck again!

Orleans Darkwa – 6 CAR, 23 YDS. Giants are afraid of the Darkwa.

Vernon Davis – 1 TGTS. I was led to believe that Vernon Davis would be relevant…

Mike Evans – 8 REC, 152 YDS. Wow, so the “No Defense” Giants showed up yesterday. It’s like what, only a week since we saw them last?

Nick Foles – 18/33, 168 YDS. 1 CAR, 2 YDS. Foles is terrible. There’s no joke here. He’s just amazingly terrible.

Devonta Freeman – 12 CAR, 12 YDS and 8 REC, 67 YDS, 1 TD. Where have you gone, Devonta DiMaggio?

Ted Ginn Jr. – 1 REC, 20 YDS. Ted Ginn caught a pass? That’s like two weeks in a row, and I’m still shocked to find out he’s still in the league.

Shaun Hill – 2/6, 15 YDS and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. How is Shaun Hill still in the league? More like a Shaun Hill to die on, amirite folks? We’ll have to wait on the concussion protocol for Bridgewater to take it’s course, and we’ll presumably find out more today, but if he’s out for any long period of time… R.I.P. the Vikings above average season. 9/14/15 – 11/8/15.

Ronnie Hillman – 7 CAR, 1 YDS. Um, what the hell is this, Denver?

Allen Hurns – 5 REC, 122 YDS, 1 TD. Is Allen Burns a thing yet? It should be, just completely the lowest hanging fruit there is…

Chris Ivory – 23 CAR, 26 YDS, 2 TD and 3 REC, 22 YDS. The Jets running game plan appeared to be comprised entirely of “Ivory up the middle, but only when they’ve stacked the box.” It’s an odd strategy to say the least.

Eddie Lacy – 5 CAR, 10 YDS, 1 FUM. Eddie Lacy is so God damn useless this season. Actually, maybe not completely useless. I bet he keeps the waiters and waitresses plenty busy. Oh, I have an idea. From this point on, the Packers should tell Lacy that there’s a bearclaw waiting for him in the endzone.

Dion Lewis – 4 CAR, 14 YDS and 4 REC, 39 YDS. One Lewis down, one Brady to go! It appeared to be an ACL injury, and the latest reports don’t show any swelling, but we’ll know more with the MRI early today. The Patriots are hoping for just a strain, but just in case it’s more than that, James White and Brandon Bolden will become the latest players that Bill Belichick will troll you with.

Peyton Manning – 21/36, 281 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT. YOU HAVE TO WAIT, PEYTON. YOU MUST WAIT… ♪ Chicken-parm you taste so good ♪… ♪ Why’s Talib still on the team? ♪

Lamar Miller – 12 CAR, 44 YDS, 2 TD and 7 REC, 97 YDS. As a Lamar Miller owner, I can’t complain.

Cam Newton – 15/30, 297 YDS, 3 TD, 1 INT and 9 CAR, 57 YDS, 1 TD. “I don’t know who this Don Capers is, but I like him!” – Cam Newton.

Greg Olsen – 4 REC, 66 YDS, 1 TD. Don Capers should look into real estate in the Charlotte area. His house in Green Bay will be gone shortly…

Aaron Rodgers – 25/48, 369 YDS, 4 TD, 1 INT and 4 CAR, 22 YDS. The “Pack attack” used to mean something else… this season? It’s a bad medical condition. I used to complain all the time about Mike McCarthy’s play-calling, but he’s so bad at it, he was able to find someone (Edgar Bennett) worse than him to take over… how is that even possible?

Kenny Stills – 3 REC, 74 YDS. Kenny Stills: NFL wide receiver or country-western star?

Ryan Tannehill – 27/36, 309 YDS and 2 CAR, 3 YDS. Well, that was pretty much your typical Dolphins midseason game if there ever was one. You know, for a state that really takes it’s football quite seriously, Florida has some pretty sh*tty professional teams.

Julius Thomas – 3 REC, 14 YDS. You don’t need to Jets when you can still Jaguars!

Sammy Watkins – 8 REC, 168 YDS, 1 TD. So I guess the strategy from now on is to start Watkins only when he has a strained ankle. I just… I don’t understand fantasy football anymore…

Delanie Walker – 7 REC, 95 YDS, 2 TD. Saints were in full Aints mode yesterday…

Fozzy Whittaker – 2 CAR, 13 YDS. Fozzy Whittaker sounds like a West Virginia law firm.

 

Final Thought

Are you ready fellow vault-dwellers?

 

 

  1. Nick says:
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    yet another rough week, down 82-112, he has Rivers & Langford, I have Gates, Bennett, S Johnson & Lambo..ugh

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: wow… that’s some overlap. Good luck Nick, you’re going to need some very specific luck, that’s for sure.

  2. TJ says:
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    Already trying to plot out a last-round keeper for next year, figuring who to stash.
    1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 3 FLEX spots, 1 pt PPR league, keep only 3 players (will have Ingram and ODBj most likely for a 4th and 11th pick)

    Who should I be aiming for as a guy to stash for a last round pick next year?
    Keenan Allen
    Tevin C oleman
    Duke Johnson Jr
    Dorial Green-Beckham
    Karlos Williams
    Antonio Andrews
    Charcandrick West

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @TJ: I like Allen and either DGB or the Duke as back up options.

  3. Scott says:
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    Yeah, a couple of leagues I could have won in, if I started Karlos. Blah!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: yeah, crazy game… the Bills are so random this year.

  4. Scott says:
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    We had this discussion last year, about this time. Is Derek Carr legit? Dude has been ballin’.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: i think so. I think I liked him long term last season too. Having Cooper is such a huge deal as well.

      • FrankGrimes says:
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        @Jay:
        And Crabtree was best free agent signing this year…go figure!

        • one more time says:
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          @FrankGrimes: crabtree looks great. I messed up when someone was ‘selling high’ on him aboue 3 weeks ago and i turned them down. oh well.

          • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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            @one more time: after being the guy who’s dropped all of freeman (clearly pre week 3), vereen, jennings, spiller over the year crabs is only good pickup (other than bortles as luck backup) i’ve done all year (made about 3 or so weeks ago), not including DEN D being drafted in 2nd to last round and DEN kicker being drafted in last round. ellington/spiller have after the fact looked like awful draft picks where i took them. Spiller looked even better than in most PPR’s as he was projected to be return man, and in this league we get .1 pt per return yard, same as scrimmage yards.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @FrankGrimes: Poor 49ers. They gave someone else Crabs, are now being penalized for it.

  5. FrankGrimes says:
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    Biggest upside 4 Draft kings tonight :
    Langford or Gordon? (forget you’re a SD homer)

    Didn’t it seem that al Michaels tried
    Not to mention Hardy last night?

    F*ck that fat body tub of shit Lacy!!
    (And Hill Too!)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @FrankGrimes: I’m thinking Langford. Chargers run defense is atrocious.

      Yeah, agreed on all points.

  6. Scott says:
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    So, Carolina, huh?

  7. one more time says:
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    i would hold your breath on vernon davis, he had less than a week to learn the most complicated offense and played. i’d take that alone as a positive. plus he played 6 snaps and saw one target.. pretty good if youd extrapolate that to what a full time TE would have seen. If after two more weeks we get more of this then yea i think you can write him off as just another TE but i’d be buying cheap shares of him until then as long as you’re not a gronk owner.

    on the flip side, DMC looks amazing and christine michael belongs on the coaching staff of a high school football team. next week I have both matty ice and andrew luck on bye at the same time, so i need to pick up a QB. would you
    1) drop tevin coleman during the bye week (i own devante) and hope to re-handcuff devante after this upcoming week
    2) drop $1 c-michael in a keeper league (i do not own DMC in this specific league) . the local DMC owner will almost assuredly pick them up as last week they tried trading for him. I still believe it’s not if but when DMC gets hurt but my situation is no beuno.

    thanks for the consideration. I have no one else i can really drop. I suppose vernon but as stated above I’m holding for a 3 week sample size before i pass judgement.

    thanks for all the great work. top notch site and best one out there in my opinion.

    • one more time says:
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      @one more time: i guess i could just drop matt ryan? haha idk hes been so ‘average’. he too would almost assuredly be picked up in a 12 team league where the best available qb on the wire is joe flacco..

      thanks again

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @one more time: Yeah, I don’t think you have to drop Ryan here.

    • one more time says:
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      @one more time: i’m sorry. one more piece of relevant information. the local ‘dmc’ owner is one of my strongest competitors. if he lost dmc and did not have the handcuff he would be severly crippled. so it’s decent strategy to keep his handcuff away from his as dirty as that may be. i guess it just depends on
      1)is dmc going to make it through the rest of the season healthy?
      2) is c-mike even the handcuff anymore?

      thansk and sorry.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @one more time: Oh yeah, totally keep it away. And I think C-Mike is the handcuff right now.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @one more time: Oh yeah, I think there’s something there, but I don’t let reality and rational expectations takeaway from my jokes. Priorities maaaaan.

      I’d go with Coleman. I think DMC making it through the rest of the season has some interesting odds.

      And your welcome!

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      @one more time: spiller’s had a whole training camp plus now 9 weeks and he’s last week basically called too stupid to get it. in the race of who is more stupid i would think spiller loses that race, BUT with as much time as he’s had he might win it.

  8. Scott says:
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    I guess Falcon’s opponents stopped covering Julio Jones with the Defensive Linemen.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Why bother covering Jones? He’s just some bit player, no skill whatsoever…

  9. slippy says:
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    good write up per usual… need some help

    12 team standard league.. QB is my weakest position. Been playing matches with Russell and Eli. On the wire are Romo, Mariota, Stafford, Jameis etc. Who do you like next week and ROS?

    Thanks and I am open to feedback from all!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @slippy: Leaning Eli at the moment, but I still have some film to watch of the Giants game. I do like Romo when he returns…

  10. Greenpoop says:
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    Stevie Johnson or Dannie woodhead in the flex tonight ?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Woodhead, but it’s close.

  11. snarf says:
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    Seriously, what is up with Hillman. Was ready to drop Benard and keep Hillman (have to pick up a QB in the bye next week) but now having second thoughts (.5 PPR). What’s going on and who has the better end of the time share (Hillman or Bernard)?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @snarf: I think Bernard is probably more valuable, especially in PPR leagues. That Denver running game is just so undependable.

  12. Oppo Taco says:
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    trade TJ Yeldon and Jeremy Maclin for Andrew Luck and Jeremy Hill? .5 PPR
    1qb league and my starter is Eli…..feels too much, Hill has been so bad. thanks

    • Oppo Taco says:
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      @Oppo Taco: team :
      qb – eli
      wr – jeffrey
      wr – marshall
      wr – maclin
      rb – lamar miller
      rb – yeldon
      te – eifert
      flex – Lafell
      bench – langford, michael, darwak, cruz, bradford

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Oppo Taco: yeah, I’d hold for now. Kinda scared of Luck right now.

      • Oppo Taco says:
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        @Jay: would you trade maclin straight up for luck?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Oppo Taco: naw, based on your roster, I think you need him.

  13. Make it Wayne says:
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    Howdy Jay!

    .5 PPR based on my team who are you adding / dropping this week?

    QB: Palmer- bench luck & cutler , added cutler for week 9

    RBs: Hill, gore, Lamar miller, charcanderick west.

    WRs: Demaryius Thomas, alshon, Calvin Johnson, john brown, diggs & lafell & marquess Wilson

    TE: Gates & Vernon Davis. Gates has a week 10 bye. Davis faces Chiefs.

    D/St: Cowboys , on bench I have panthers

    Kicker: Gould

    Available RBs: Brandon bolden, James white, Ahmad Bradshaw, Shaun draughn, jay ajayi (Lamar millers cuff?), Taiwan jones, darkwa.
    Alfred blue is there too

    Available WRs: Dorial green beckham, Cole beasley, Devin funchess, Corey brown , justin Hunter, sanu, Marques colston

    Available TE’s for week 10:

    – Owen Daniels (vs Chiefs)

    – Crockett Gilmore (vs jaguars)

    – Clive walford (vs Vikings)

    – Josh hill (@ Washington)

    Defense I’m dropping Cowboys & rolling w/ Panthers.

    Available kickers: Greg zuerlien, dan Bailey, Cairo santos, mike nugent.

    Thanks bud!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Make it Wayne: sup! I’d take a gamble on White, probably for Cutler. I’m okay sticking with Davis there. Might see something soon hopefully.

  14. Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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    surprisingly neither of bolden/white waivered last night (every day FAAB), dynasty here. PPR. 2 QB
    rodgers, peyton, tygod, osweiler
    forte, ivory, woodhead, j.bell, c.michael
    r.matthews, edelman, d-jax, agholor, hankerson
    j.thomas, ertz
    IR- jordy, allen
    NYG kicker
    CAR DEF
    IDP’s – david, d-jax, collins, dansby, ogletree (start 4)
    drop michael (or maybe another player) for either/both of bolden/white, and bid how much out of 46/100th?

      • Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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        @Jay: is this mostly from us not even really knowing which bolden/white are even useful, and that michael could basically at any time become what DMC is doing right now?

          • Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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            @Jay: hopefully that helps for all my other leagues where the waivers are wednesday or thursday morning, rather than everyday like here.

  15. one more time says:
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    whats your take on christine michael and andrew luck right now?

    • one more time says:
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      @one more time: i ask because i think they are 2 of the hardest players to gauge their value right now… larry fitzgerald too…

    • Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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      @one more time: he’s one unlucky whitehead. of course it’ll look very lucky when/if jog DMC gets hurt, since he had to go through A. Seahawks being cute yet again B. dunbar and randle either getting hurt of smoking too much shit and C. DMC being the only one ahead of him.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @one more time: One’s average insurance, the other is risky.

  16. Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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    castlevannia 2 is the easiest one (i’m only counting the NES/SNES ones), other than maybe playing the game boy one once i’ve never played any of them after. I can beat all of them though, one of earliest people i know to do that.
    same league as above, drop Green Julius for any of Tamme/Rico Rodgers? I know Tame has clearly been better lately, but that’s completely dependent on Hank not being back yet. Tamme has never had a decent game with him playing. Of course if Hank is out yet again i might be smart to grab him regardless. But since dynasty, i’m still hesitant to drop JT.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not): Yeah, I only played the first two. I think we’re around the same age if that’s the case (33).

      Eh, Tamme is okay, but I’m surprised Julius isn’t being utilized more. Could be he’s just getting his feet wet, but I can see a high ceiling there, I just don’t know when.

      • Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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        @Jay: that’s what i was thinking with Green Julius, bigger long term upside for dynasty. barely 34 here. 2 was the only one i could beat when i was still a kid, beat 3 in mid teenage years, didn’t beat 1 till 20’s. super was somewhat easy, i believe i beat that one when i rented it.

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