Not sure which one is winning the staring contest...

Not sure which one is winning the staring contest…

As we are just days away from Thanksgiving, the NFL Playoff picture is taking shape. (Just as your fantasy leagues move into the playoff portion of their respective schedules.) No team looks particularly dominant, even with two undeafted teams (the Panthers and Patriots) as near-locks to play in January. Each team has a particular set of weaknesses, weaknesses that they have acquired in the first 11 weeks, weaknesses that make it nightmare for all of us. Case in point, the Bengals losing to the Cardinals during Sunday Night Football… Cincinnati is the Enron of football; Promising start, get everyone invested early… and when they fold they leave a lot of people wondering what the f*ck just happened. The Falcons are part of the NFC South, relegating them to disappoint whenever possible, and the Vikings have had their issues (mainly everything on the offense that hasn’t abused a child) and the Giants and Bills will find a way to lose their next five games. I’m sure. The Broncos and Colts have quarterback issues, and the Packers and Steelers have interesting ways of defining “defense” and “play-calling”. That essentially leaves the Panthers (who calmly brushed Washington aside yesterday) as the most-likely strongest team going into the last few months of the season. An NFC South team making possibly going deep into the playoffs? What I time we live in folks. What. A. Time.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 11’s Sunday games…

Martellus Bennett – 2 REC, 26 YDS. Ah yes, the Bears best offensive scheme still remains “throwing it up and relying on penalties” to move the ball downfield.

Giovani Bernard – 6 CAR, 18 YDS, 8 REC, 128 YDS. Usually when your run that fast in Arizona, someone asks for naturalization papers…

Teddy Bridgewater – 25/37, 296 YDS, 1 TD and 4 CAR, 43 YDS. More like Bilgewater, amirite folks?

Dez Bryant – 4 REC, 45 YDS, 1 TD. 14 passes to not-Dez? Hey, Cowboys, can you put Matt Cassel back in please?

Kirk Cousins – 22/30, 207 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 4 YDS. Oh look, the Cousins we all know and somewhat tolerate with a feeling of irritation is back. I will say truly, he is a man born without peripheral vision.

Shaun Draughn – 12 CAR, 37 YDS and 8 REC, 40 YDS. Want to know a drinking game least likely to get you drunk? A shot for every 49ers touchdown. (My liver votes yes.)

Zach Ertz – 2 REC, 12 YDS. Poor Zack Ertz. Looks like he’s destined to be a never was… It Ertz me to say that.

Joe Flacco – 27/44, 299 YDS, 1 TD, 2 INT. ELITE ACL TEAR HAPPENED, and he’s out for the year. More concerning was the broken arm Justin Forsett (4 CAR, 26 YDS) suffered in the same game. Javorius Allen (22 CAR, 67 YDS and 5 REC, 48 YDS) appears to be the guy if this injury lasts longer than a few weeks, which it most certainly will. In the mean time, I’m gonna create a pill to prevent erections called Flaccidia…

Devonta Freeman – 3 CAR, 43 YDS. Left the game early with a hard-hit concussion from a helmet-to-helmet hit with a Colts safety. We’ll have to see how this develops later today, barring our own concussions from the possible fantasy playoff implications, but Tevin Coleman (17 CAR, 48 YDS) is a must add heading now heading late into the season.

Devin Funchess – 4 REC, 64 YDS, 1 TD. There’s a Funchess among us! Bunches Of Funchess, if you will. Good cereal by the way.

Ted Ginn Jr. – 5 REC, 37 YDS, 1 TD. Ted Ginn Jr.: Doing less with more since 2007.

Melvin Gordon – 15 CAR, 37 YDS and 1 REC, 12 YDS. Burn it down. Don’t even bother moving to Los Angeles, just burn down Qualcomm and walk away.

Leonard Hankerson – 4 REC, 36 YDS, 1 TD. Do you think Hankerson really hankers for sons?

Ronnie Hillman – 21 CAR, 102 YDS and 1 REC, 2 YDS. So, the Bears defense is still awful, hunh.

DeAndre Hopkins – 5 REC, 118 YDS, 2 TD. More proof the universe loves DeAndre Hopkins.

Case Keenum – 12/26, 136 YDS, 1 TD and 2 CAR, 0 YDS. Let’s play the “Which Case?” game: Case Keenum or Case Western? 1) This Case plays football at a collegiate D-3 level. 2) Which Case recently underwent a failed rebranding? 3) The primary rival of this Case is Carnegie-Mellon…

Lacysqu

Eddie Lacy – 22 CAR, 100 YDS and 1 REC, 6 YDS. THIS is the week you decide to show up Lacy? *Lacy nods from our bench appropriately*. THIS EDDIE LACY, I CALL HIM “INDIAN RESTAURANT FONDUE FOUNTAIN”, BECAUSE THAT’S THE LAST TIME I SAW CHEESE RUN THIS HARD.

Doug Martin – 27 CAR, 235 YDS. 235 yards and no touchdowns? VINTAGE Lovie Smith.

Jordan Matthews – 4 REC, 13 YDS. Matthews is like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in the sense that I want to wipe the memory of both completely from my mind.

Jerick McKinnon – 2 REC, 15 YDS. Jerick McKinnon’s job on the Vikings is to play special teams and make everyone wonder why Matt Asiata (1 REC, 9 YDS) ever plays.

Lamar Miller – 7 CAR, 44 YDS and 2 REC, 11 YDS. Things that I am not interested in: 1) Miami’s offense. 2) Contracting herpes.

DeMarco Murray – 13 CAR, 64 YDS and 4 REC, 27 YDS. Hey, how about that Chip Kelly, hunh? Total genius, right?

J.J. Nelson – 4 REC, 142 YDS, 1 TD. Arizona is going to want to sign Nelson for border patrol if he catches like that…

Cam Newton – 21/34, 246 YDS, 5 TD and 4 CAR, 16 YDS. Newton should consider making a career of this football-thing. He seems pretty good at it.

Brock Osweiler – 20/27, 250 YDS, 2 TD and 2 CAR, 4 YDS. Brock Osweiler should change his last name to Sprocket. I could totally get behind a guy named “Brock Sprocket”.

Carson Palmer – 20/31, 317 YDS, 4 TD, 2 INT and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. You just kinda know, one day, there’s going to be a “Palmer mysterious arm injury” announcement. One day.

Adrian Peterson – 13 CAR, 45 YDS, 1 TD, 1 FUM and 2 REC, 16 YDS. Peterson switched direction and beat the defense for a pretty good game. He made it look like child’s play, you could say.

Thomas Rawls – 30 CAR, 209 YDS, 1 TD and 3 REC, 46 YDS, 1 TD. “Personal foul, playing defense on Rawls, on the defense, entire 49ers defense ejected, touchdown Seahawks!”

Philip Rivers – 19/30, 178 YDS, 1 INT and 4 CAR, 8 YDS. Rivers’ mustache makes it look like he might try to flee to Tijuana in the middle of the night.

Tony Romo – 18/28, 227 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT. What a typical Romo game, it’s like he never left…

Mark Sanchez – 26/41, 261 YDS, 2 TD, 3 INT and 2 CAR, 14 YDS. Mark Sanchez is a “system quarterback” in the sense that he has sucked in every system he’s played in.

Darren Sproles – 6 CAR, 21 YDS and 3 REC, 38 YDS, 1 TD. Hey guys, did you know that Tiny Darren is short? I think he would have made a great tight end, if only he had played basketball…

Mike Wallace – 1 CAR, 6 YDS. I hate you Mike Wallace.

Spencer Ware – 11 CAR, 96 YDS, 2 TD and 1 REC, 5 YDS. On the day the team retired LaDanian Tomlinson’s number, the Chargers honored his legacy by making Spencer Ware look like a Hall of Famer. Charcandrick West (11 CAR, 16 YDS and 2 REC, 48 YDS) suffered a hamstring injury, which certainly helped.

Jameis Winston – 19/29, 246 YDS, 5 TD and 4 CAR, 0 YDS. Winston kinds of remind me of Cam Newton… if Cam Newton were a slow-fat-asshole-rapist.

T.J. Yates – 16/34, 229 YDS, 2 TD and 3 CAR, -5 YDS, 1 FUM. Seriously though, when does Bill O’Brien resort to starting J.J. Watts at quarterback?

Final Thought

How I feel being a life-long Chargers fan.

How I feel being a life-long Chargers fan.

 

 

  1. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    14 team dynasty with team out of it. i dropped QB #4 for coleman right away (stupid league no waivers), then dropped coleman while watching ware look really good for KC. by the time you see this it’s probably too late, but go with which? standard dynasty with super flex (at least foles probably gets job back soon)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Probably still Coleman for now. It’s hard to say how long Freeman will be out… could be one week, could be a career.

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Jay: according to their coach freeman is in “good shape” to return this week, but it’s so early. of course no matter which of ware/coleman has more value for this week it’s more important about future value anyway,and coleman was a highly drafted guy who looked really good in weeks 1-2.

  2. Scooter G says:
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    How would you rank these RBs add for priority in standard league?

    Rawls, J Allen, T Coleman, s draughn,

    • Scooter G says:
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      @Scooter G:

      And k Davis is available too… Don’t know the extent of wests injury

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Scooter G: ware took that west job if west is out.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Scooter G: Yeah, Davis will remain in the same role no matter what.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scooter G: Allen, Coleman, Rawls, Draughn.

    • Lex says:
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      @Scooter G: rawls first with the lynch news of his sports hernia and possibly shelved for the ROS…then I’d go Allen then Coleman

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scooter G: Actually yeah, I’m with Lex on Rawls here.

  3. Lex says:
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    I’m down by 19 with Karlos Williams and either Lafell or Amendola going for me tonight and oh yeah my opponent still has gostowski….so I need to make the right call with thsee patriot recievers…who u think is gonna reel in the most points? I think Martin is injured and won’t play who some say could be the real heir to Edelmans spot….I’m leaning towards amendola but in vintage bellichick he won’t even throw to amendola and fool everybody lol smh……

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Lex: I think laFell is the ceiling guy here.

  4. MikeY says:
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    All of the handcuffs who now have jobs because of injuries are available in my 12-team, 1/2-PPR league…Tevin Coleman, Javiorus Allen & Spencer Ware.

    I have 3 DEFs (KC, PIT & CIN)…someone dropped CIN’s DEF last week & I snagged them to use the next 2 weeks against StL & @CLE. In the 3 weeks after that, KC plays SD,@ BAL & CLE, making PIT’s DEF drop-able.

    In what order would you rank those available newly-crowned starting RBs?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @MikeY: Allen, Cileman, Ware.

  5. MattyIce says:
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    I’m down 5 in a PPR matchup going into Monday’s game. My opponent has Blount left and I need to choose between McCoy and Amendola. Who is the better call?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @MattyIce: Leaning McCoy there, he has the ceiling.

  6. Scott says:
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    What a coincidence! That’s how I feel being a life-long Falcons fan.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: misery loves company!

  7. Scott says:
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    Would u drop Duke for Allen, Rawls, Ware or Coleman?

    Who would u not drop Duke for?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: just Rawls.

  8. Swarley says:
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    sorry Jay – i know youve addressed some of this already but with the full list of handcuffs – in what order would you roster: (standard redraft league these guys would be on my bench not needed to immediately be starting)
    Rawls Allen MattJones Coleman Ware Ajayi Draughn White Turbin
    thats my best guess for order
    thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Swarley: Rawls, Allen, Coleman, Ware, Ajayi, Ware. And no worries!

      • Swarley says:
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        @Jay: got Ware twice! Assume White Draughn and Turbin are at the bottom of this list since not mentioned?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Swarley: yeah, doesn’t really matter past that point. And meant Jones, bad brainfart.

  9. Steve Stevenson says:
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    With my team losing Forsett and possibly also Freeman and West, it’s suddenly harder for me to coast into the playoffs and I’m gonna need to scrounge for points. On that note, I’ve got the SEA DST, but they get PIT coming off the bye with Big Ben next week. The Browns DST is still a FA in my Yahoo league, so I can pick them up for free now, and they get the new-look Ravens at home next week. The catch is I have to use a bench player, so no dropping my K or the now-dead Forsett. My options would be Ellington or Rivers (have Palmer at QB). 0.5 PPR. Drop one for CLE, or wait until waivers run and hope I can still make the move for a more expendable player?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: I think you can drop either. Rivers probably since you have Carson.

  10. rostercrunch says:
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    at what point do we drop the rams d/st? their own offense cant get out of their way, plus they face Ariz, Det, the now hot TB and Seattle the rest of the relevant fantasy year.

    with case keenum, nick foles and company I feel like these guys are toast when it comes to reliability when they are stuck playing 3/4ths the game against horrible field position.

    would you stream d/st rest of year or roll with the likes of Houston? FAAB budget is getting tight and not sure if dropping $5 here or there may be in my best interest in case I need something big in the playoffs.

    thanks.

    • rostercrunch says:
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      @rostercrunch:

      here are available D/st ROS schedule:
      TB–> @indy, atl, nola, @stl, chi

      Lions–> philly, gb, @stl, @nola, SF (feel like these guys get some good matchups.. stl looks terrible outside of gurly, and blaine gabber championship week!?)

      steelers–> @sea,indy,@cin,Den, @bal…. not that great but the new look ravens championship week

      Texans–> nola, @buf, ne, @indy, @ten

      I’m no longer worried about teams like new oreleans and buffalo. all the d/st with really juicy matchups the next 5 weeks are gone.

      thanks.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @rostercrunch: Texans are looking okay, they are close, but I don’t think you can stream.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @rostercrunch: I think they’ll be okay, but it’s a semi-interesting schedule they have to end with. With your budget there, I might just hold and hope for the best.

      • thestretch says:
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        @Jay: so you think youd stick with stl d/st?

        I mean I know they are talented… but their offense is NOT. and I think their playoff schedule is very luke warm.

        thanks for the insight though., appreciate it.

  11. dondeestathelobeddict? says:
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    did he quit razzball? was always in for a good laugh with his posts and GOT references.

    what strategy would you use for a RB with a decent floor rest of season. lost forsett and don’t have the faab to get allen (handcuffed my other 2 rbs instead, of course its forsett who goes down)

    available rb’s:
    bilial powell
    jonathen grimes
    buck allen (wont be able to afford $$ wise)
    bradshaw
    s. ware
    david cobb

    I kind of feel like throwing $2 or $3 at jonathen grimes since no one in my league seems to be paying attention he’s clearly the best RB on the squad. blue and polk are both rostered already.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @dondeestathelobeddict?: Naw, he’s an integral part of the site. Just some personal life stuff right now. I would go for upside and opportunity. So probably Ware, then Cobb, then Grimes, then whatever is leftover.

  12. Ryan M says:
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    I got the number 1 waiver claim, Bradshaw, ware, Coleman are available, would you waste it on one of those RBs,
    Team is like this
    Qb. Rodgers
    WR Marshall
    WR Evans
    WR Landry
    RB McCoy
    RB ivory
    Te walker
    Flex w/r L. Millar
    Flex w/r/t K. Aiken
    Bench.
    T. Benjamin
    Tamme
    Ajayi
    Draughn
    Osweiler
    Kicker tucker
    Def St. Louis.
    .5 ppr
    Thanks for any input.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ryan M: I’d say grab Ware here.

  13. Flowers Misses his old Glasses... he's ok tho says:
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    gonna lose likely from starting k.will over white, this shady ruling could be huge. damn standard leagues, white would’ve been easy play in PPR.

  14. Robert Garcia says:
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    Jay ,do you know what happened to W. Snead of the Saints in week 10. I have him with 0 pts when he had been consistent scorer all year was he out with an injury or just a horrible game?

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