As we now enter the post-Thanksgiving Football phase (or in Boston, the “post-BAWHSTON WAS RAWHBED FROM UNDEFEATED HISTORY!”), it’s hard to understand how we’re already on the doorsteps of Week 13 and how someone can gain five pounds in one four-day Holiday period. The answer to both is bourbon, but regardless, the point remains: Alcohol! AND, wow, this season has gone by fast. (With a lot of injuries.) That being said, I do want to take this time on your Monday, to thank everyone for being a part of the site. I could have wrote this Thursday, or Friday, or I guess any day up until now, but, well, you know. Alcohol! And while my Chargers are charging (see what I did there?) to a first overall pick in next year’s draft, I guess, in this time of thanks, we should all thank the game of Football. As usual, the wonderful sport continues to provide us reasons to kill our liver, protect women and couches with guns on them, and Will Smith (bonus foreign accent!) movies about concussions. I truly despise this game that I love. An amazing journey we take here if you ask me! Or a masochistic one? Nah… that’s what Fantasy Football is for.

Here’s what else I saw in Week 12’s Sunday Games…

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PEAK WASHINGTON

PEAK WASHINGTON

I was promised derp, and boy did we get some derp. Sure, it took an insufferable amount of time to receive said derp (three-and-a-half quarters), along with sitting through an equally insufferable fourth quarter that lasted about 32 hours longer than it should have, but when that derp came… I mean, there was just no way to predict that Matt Jones would fumble there (shown above), but I think we all saw it coming in our hearts. And folks, it was everything I knew Washington derp would be. “District derp”, if you will. Which, coicidentally, will be the name of my new band. It’ll be a cross of Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. In a game that will further put the NFC East in flux, Washington came into Thursday Night Football as the favorites to win the division if they only existed and didn’t somehow die of dysentery. Hey, it happened all the time in Oregon Trail, which, if I remember correctly, was based on a true story. But alas, the Giants showed some competency (don’t hold your breath) and Washington returned to their roots. But with Dallas still pitting all their hopes on Brandon Weeden (now with more Matt Cassel back-up power!), and the Eagles struggling to muster two yards of total offense, the division remains up for grabs. So it wouldn’t surprise me if the 49ers somehow ended up taking division title from all of them…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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romodw215

Well folks, I promised NFC East derp yesterday afternoon, but the derp levels that were given are almost too much to bear, even a day later. So much derp in fact, that I’ll get to tell my grandchildren about how I was there for the (second, or maybe third, could be technically the fourth I guess) epoch of Brandon Weeden. In what was a 6-3 football game essentially (without a special teams touchdown) in the first 40 minutes of regulation, it wasn’t quite football, but wasn’t quite baseball either. What it was exactly, I can’t quite describe. If I had to give some sort of concrete answer, I would probably call it a nuclear weapons test. I will say this, as was alluded to earlier with one Brandon Weeden, the epoch began immediately after Tony Romo suffered a fractured clavicle bone (on the play shown above). Along with the news that Dez Bryant’s timetable for a return is murky now at best, this game still probably ended up more demoralizing for the Eagles. True, even with an existential outlook, you could say that the Cowboys lost the first two games they actually won (SO EFFING DEEP), but the Eagles look almost too innovative to be playing football at this point. If Romo (and by extension, Bryant) are out for an extended period of time (likely), and you combine that with the Giants doing very Giants like things, the Eagles have basically ceded the division to Washington. HAHAHAH. But don’t worry, Chip Kelly is still a genius. Totally.

Here’s what else I saw in Week 2 (with bonus Week 2 knee-jerk reactions to the knee-jerk reactions I had in Week 1. WOOOO!)…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While I always say that Sunday Night Football is tacitly known as the premier match-up of the weekend, I wasn’t necessarily wanting to lead-off my first recap of Sunday’s games with it, but if the Cowboys and Giants continue the long NFC East tradition of having memorable derp-offs, I have very little choice in the matter. In a game that featured two interceptions and two fumbles (and that was just the Cowboys!), Run DMC being his usual “Run for two feet then drop DMC”, coaching you’d expect from the Princeton ginger Jason Garrett and a guy with the last name McAdoo, well, you’d be hard pressed to follow all that up with a fascinating and suspenseful last two minutes. But they did. After an “interesting” (to be kind) play-action call at the one-yard line (I’m assuming even Pete Carroll would call a run play there) with just about 1:40 left in the game that failed with an intentional throw out of bounds by Eli Manning, the Cowboys quickly drove down the field in just 88 seconds, scoring the go ahead touchdown shown above. On that score, Romo was able to connect with Jason Witten after dropping a bad snap, which seems like the most Romo thing ever. Unless it ended up being an interception. Good hustle Cowboys and Giants… I can’t wait to see what the derp looks like when the Eagles and Washington get involved. Especially Washington. They were born in the derp. Molded by it…

Here’s what else I saw in Week 1 (with bonus first week knee-jerk reactions!)…

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While I could just copy and paste “Bill Belichick is no longer his coach” say, about 323 times and feel pretty confident about relaying substantial and relevent thoughts on why Shane Vereen is going into the season underrated, I wanted to be better than that. OR I just didn’t want the Razzball front page filled with a plethora of Bill Belichick. Mmm, plethora. That being said, while it’s easy to chaulk up Vereen’s ineffectiveness solely on the fact that the most jolly (and quite the partier) coach in the NFL trolls the running back position like no other, there are also some other factors playing into why Vereen might be a sneaky good pick up. Some might say he’s a sleeper, but I’m pretty sure everyone knows who he is, nor is he sleepy (I think? One can never be sure of another person’s sleep patterns). But underrated? Most definitely…

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You know, I don’t really hate giving the lede to the NFC South, and if you’ve been spending any time here at Razzball, you know that I find this division so very… satisfying. Not in the good way, like, wow, this NFC South man, it gives the greatest head type of way. No… but to be honest, I have felt similar sensations. It’s the satisfying “oh my god, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, so I’ll just laugh at it and celebrate it for being the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” type of thing. But the fact remains, I don’t hate talking about it. So at what point does it become masochistic? I mean, we are talking about the day after fantasy football “Championship Week”, probably the most masochistic weekend in all of fantasy sports, so yeah, it’s going to be theme. So with the Saints losing to the Falcons, we now have a NFC South “Superbowl” with the Panthers visiting the Falcons to decide who gets the home playoff defeat. Yes, the Saints are as good as eliminated, but if I understand math correctly (I really don’t), if this game ends in a tie, the Falcons, Panthers, and Saints will all just trigger a nuclear reaction that will re-birth the universe. What a place that would be! In other Sunday news, it’s apparent the NFL wants a Patriots vs. Cowboys Superbowl, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I probably wasn’t ready for a 7-8-1 (or a 7-9) playoff team… so there’s that I guess…

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After a disaster of a suggestion last week in Marion Grice, I’m looking to a couple of familiar names and faces this week. Both Andre Williams and Latavius Murray have been featured here before and will be again today. When it comes to handcuffs you sort of hit a point where there are only so many usable options left. Though I suppose Kerwynn Williams’ breakout does fly in the face of that previous statement. The point is we know the players now, and if you’re digging through handcuffs it’s because you need to use them for playoff match ups. So good luck with that! To wrap this up it’s been a great year, and the constant game of musical chairs amongst the starters at the running back position have kept me mighty busy. Hopefully my advice led you to a few victories this season, good luck in the playoffs!

Note: Don’t forget to come visit me on the new Razzball Fantasy Soccer home everyday of the week. Smokey and I have leagues registering now. If you’re not familiar with the format, NBD, relax, you got us. Smokey and I are giving you the best Fantasy Premier League coverage out there. If you haven’t tried fantasy EPL, you’re missing out. So sign up and use us as your guide.

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dailyshow
I wonder if Peyton Manning was going against himself in fantasy football last week? Less than 5 points from Peyton during the fantasy playoffs sounds like a fantasy football player’s worst nightmare. How many teams did the prince of Papa Johns let down? And why does he wear a helmet that’s 3 sizes too small? Speaking of 5 fantasy points, that’s the total number of combined points scored by LeSean McCoy and Alfred Morris. And while we’re putting together an all-star squad of undroppable players that scored less than 5 points, let’s add Demaryius ThomasJosh Gordon and Jimmy Graham, who combined for 8.6 points. You’re sh*tting me, right? Those six studs put up a grand total of 18.52 points!

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NFL: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

That’s right folks. We’ve arrived to Week 14, what is tacitly accepted as the starting point for Fantasy Football playoffs for the majority of leagues and formats. And coinciding with this “fantasy playoff” week are several key match-ups that will also have an enormous affect on the NFL playoff picture. Which, if you had already guessed from the title, is a picture that still has the Bills and Browns on it. While there are several other games that deserve a spotlight, like the Steelers vs. Bengals. Panthers vs. Saints (LOL), Ravens vs. Dolphins, Chiefs vs. Cardinals, Seahawks vs. Eagles and the Patriots vs. my Chargers, it seems almost silly to bring up those two teams. But their season’s rest on the outcome against the Broncos (who are at home against the Bills) and an incredibly talented Colts offense led by Andrew Luck, (with Coby Fleener in the caboose, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE HE BELONGS), against the Browns. An unlikely loss by either the Broncos and Colts could dramatcially shift the playoff picture into some kind of synergistic paridigm, only thought to exist in the most complciated of corporate and free enterprise verbiage. Yes, as you can see, the drinking got started early. Some point last week… So let’s get this Sunday started…

Week 14 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

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