Baker Mayfield is a trend-setter. Remember those Progressive Insurance commercials where he threw a party in an empty stadium? It’s like he knew those stadiums would be empty in 2020! Let’s throw our own party now–you get the grill out and make some bacon burger dogs while I talk about what Baker Mayfield will do for your fantasy football team in 2020. Don’t worry about spilling mustard over the 50-yard line. We know Baker will suck it up (with a hand vacuum! Come on!).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miami Nashville! I guess I need to switch from a Cuba libre over to a mint julep for this article. Let’s begin with the storied Miami Dolphins franchise. Miami rostered three quarterbacks who passed for over 20,000 yards and threw for over 120 touchdowns. You may have seen the bronze busts of the first two–Dan Marino and Bob Griese–in Canton, Ohio, at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Yet it is the third Dolphins quarterback who owns the lowest interception rate and highest career quarterback rating of the trio. Yes, that’s right, Ryan Tannehill just made you say “no way,” but in that confusing dude-bro style that means “yes, extra sriracha pickles please.” Let’s take a closer look at Ryan Tannehill, who is an ideal quarterback to target in 2020 fantasy football, whether it be redraft, dynasty, best ball, or daily fantasy.
What a time to be alive! 2020 has brought us pandemics, protests, rioting, looting and working from home in your underwear. You can cut the country’s social tension with that frosting spatula you’ve been using to itch your back. But whether you’re black, white, brown or cartoon, there’s one force with the power to unite us all: 2020 fantasy football rankings! Who’s with me? *crickets* Alright, maybe I got a little overexcited. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any human contact. Forget about six feet, I’m not allow to get within 300 feet of my girlfriend, Kerryon. But enough about the sad life of a donkey in love, here’s my top 10 quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back with another podcast episode to discuss DT’s dynasty QB and TE rankings. They start with the QB position and discuss their different tendencies toward more rush heavy or pass heavy QBs in dynasty. Additionally, the guys talk their appetite for starting a dynasty roster with an elite QB and an elite TE, and which players would be worth taking early.
B_Don brings up a few top 10 dynasty QBs for DT that they have differing opinions about their future. Starting with Kyler jumping up to 3, Josh Allen coming in at 6, and then Baker even being in the top 10 QBs. After we go through those 3, DT admits his love for the ‘stache while B_Don is less enamored with facial hair.
At TE, we start with a discussion about whether Kittle belongs in his own tier as the sole elite dynasty TE. We check in on the second tier and discuss DT’s boy Waller and why he has him over Mark Andrews. Overall, the duo talk about the TE tiers and how they could be arranged. We go on to discuss the Bucs, Rams, and Jets TE situations, with varying opinions on where those TEs should fit in the rankings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wrote my original dynasty quarterback rankings while tripping on mushrooms, which led to Kyler Murray ahead of Deshaun Watson and Tua Tagovailoa ahead of Joe Burrow. Now I’ve moved on to a delightful concoction of LSD and MDMA. Because pandemics are once in a lifetime events, make the most of it. Needless to say, I’m not backing of the drug-induced hot takes. But I did make a few tweaks to my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have all had enough Corona already, but that doesn’t stop the calendar from striking Cinco de Mayo. So get your blenders ready and have a drink along with Baker Mayfield. The Cleveland Browns spent the 2019 offseason making the biggest splash that they could. Baker had shown some promise in his rookie season and it was time to go full throttle in putting pieces around him. They forgot two at least two things in the process: pass protection and a head coach that can coach.
The big additions on the offensive side of the ball were Odell Beckham Jr. and Kareem Hunt. Odell should have been a game changer but playing through injuries and mental frustration definitely took it’s toll. As we all know, Kareem Hunt was suspended for the first 8 games of the season and didn’t see the field until week 10. The Browns were good enough on the offensive side of the ball to be competitive in a lot of games, but not good enough to win the games that they should have.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quarantine Day 25:
I made a fire in the yard today while pondering my 2020 dynasty rankings. As I gazed into the flames, a series of vivid images began to appear. The Lord of Light was sending me a divine message about dynasty quarterbacks. Or maybe the mushrooms I had eaten were starting to kick in, hard to say. Either way, a life-size image of Kyler Murray arose from the blazing inferno. The meaning was clear, this dull and uneventful 20th year after 2000 will forever be know as the year of Kyler, and nothing else. Anyway, here’s my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked. Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.
A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.
So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth finally returns from overseas just in time for B_Don to trash his Top 75 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But first, many congratulations to all the winners of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast Leagues, the Razzball Commenter Leagues and the first ever RazzBowl winner, Mike Beers!
Once the guys dig into the early 2020 dynasty rankings, B_Don questions the low rankings of Terry McLaurin, Kareem Hunt, Chris Carson and Joe Mixon, as well as the high rankings of Sony Michel, Baker Mayfield and T.J. Hockenson. Donkey is also forced to justify the omissions of Devin Singletary, Derrius Guice, N’Keal Harry, Micheal Gallup and Devante Parker. Tune in for a dynasty debate on all these players, dynasty philosophy and much more!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two weeks ago I amused the people with my top 25 for 2020 dynasty football where I wrote about my crooked hard-on for Kerryon Johnson from my cushy American barn. Last week I captivated the audience with my top 50 for 2020 dynasty football where I insulted JuJu Smith-Schuster while vacationing in Madrid. This week I’ll regale the world with my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football, written while stranded in Paris on Jesus’s Birthday. Long story short: the Europeans are on strike. Nobody wants to work, making my holiday travels a challenge. But there’s worse places to get stuck than Paris where Donkey has made the most of it by visiting world renowned Peyronie’s Disease specialists, eating hay crêpes and discovering new football talent; I’ve heard this Cristiano Ronaldo hombre will be a great kicker. Anyway, here’s my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football:Please, blog, may I have some more?