I don’t have a lot of injury analysis for you in this one.  Just some quick hits and an amazing Tyler Eifert update.  Tyler Eifert missed last week’s game with a neck injury… Perhaps he was malingering so he could do this instead of playing on Sunday:

Okay, not that the picture was taken on Sunday.  I don’t think it was.  But look, this picture is just.. weird.  A grown man probably shouldn’t be sitting on Santa.  So I hope this had some tie in to an official appearance or some kind of charity benefit.  I wonder if his #NiceList refers to what he’s done for fantasy owners this year?  Jay, maybe you need to get in the holiday spirit and come out with a “Naughty/Nice” list for fantasy football this year.  You know, the list more commonly known as Bust/MVP.  I’m not saying it’s a good idea, I’m just saying it’s an idea.  Anyway…  Tyler Eifert (neck) was “limited” for practice Wednesday after he missed last week’s game. So that makes me think he’ll play this Sunday.  But they’ll probably want to be certain on this one so I wouldn’t be completely surprised if he missed.  But I think he’ll play.

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Johnny Manziel is a punk.  Yeah, I like my sports to be entertaining, but I applaud the Browns for benching Manziel. What’s the big deal, you say?  Well, not only did he lie to the team, but he just left a rehab center and he’s out partying.  He’s a grown-ass man, but he’s also being paid as an investment.  Sorry, if my investment is acting like a clown when it’s clear he’s had issues in the past, I’m making the same moves that the Browns did. See you on TV in a few years, Johnny. Let’s get to the streamers.

Join Jay and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Is there still such a thing as an ACL injury after effect?  Adrian Peterson famously rushed for over 2000 yards the year following a December ACL tear.  Jeremy Maclin turned out to be a 2014 draft day bargain after suffering an ACL tear in the 2013 preseason.  Rob Gronkowski also went undervalued in 2014 drafts after coming off an ACL injury.  Now Todd Gurley is meeting or exceeding his expectations.  The fact is that risk is always built into the value of post ACL tear players, but they have a pretty good recent track record.  I literally can’t think of a single player that failed to come back from an ACL tear in the last few years.  Recently the upside has outweighed the draft cost of buying a player coming off an ACL injury.

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As I mentioned last week, it won’t be until after week 4 that The Stats Machine (TSM) begins including opposing defenses into its algorithm. It needs about four weeks of defensive statistics before they are really useful. So in the meantime, just bare with us as we still believe our data science is attention worthy. However, as a commenter pointed out last week, without defensive adjustments the results kinda feel like something we could get from Captain Obvious. I see his point, at least to some extent, and have decided to add a section listing the top ten players, according to TSM, at each position.

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You almost had me? You never had me – you never had your car… Granny shiftin’ not double clutchin’ like you should. You’re lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn’t blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me? Back in 1999, I bought a 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX. I had wanted one of these cars for a while because I knew they had potential to be very fast with just a few minor modifications. I didn’t know much about cars back then, but I was determined to learn. Over the course of the next two or three years, I gradually upgraded my DSM. During that time, I made a handful of great friends that helped me with the bigger projects that were beyond my scope of skills. I was able to up-install an Injen intake, upper intercooler pipe, turbo timer, boost controller, and even an A’PEXi Super AFC. But when it came to swapping out the stock T25 turbo with a 16G, or the wimpy side mounted intercooler with a GReddy front mounted intercooler, I had to rely on the expertise of GSXtreme (aka JM Fabrications). He had a GSX too. I was a pretty red color and it was fast. Real fast. There was something extremely rewarding (and fun) about putting time and effort into my car and then taking it to the quarter-mile track to evaluate the upgrades. Eventually I was able to drive that 2.0-liter DOHC 4-cylinder engine, 4-speed automatic transmission, all wheel drive car to a sub 13-second quarter mile (12.95). But the most satisfying reward was the ability to embarrass Mustangs on a routine basis. I lived in the Trenton, NJ area at the time, and on Sunday nights everyone would meet in the Best Buy parking lot on Route 1, just north of Philly. We’d admire each others’ rides, bullsh*t for a while, and then head to the side streets and race. It was fast and the furious before The Fast and The Furious was fast or furious. Fast forward fifteen years and I still have that car. With just 80,000 miles, it sits in my garage and is never driven, but I still have it. I should probably sell it, and would if I got a fair offer, but I am just not motivated to let it go.

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Greetings! After witnessing Peyton the redeemer, AKA Peyton the Elder, DECIMATE the once proud hearts of Kansas City Chiefs fans, I have two questions for you fine people: 1) Can we now put a stop to doubting Manning in the regular season? The old geezer may live off of Papa John’s and Chicken Parm, but on Thursday Night Football, he served nothing but grizzly tube-steak, force feeding the veiny meat down the throats of the Chiefs secondary. And 2) Are we going to stop complaining about the quality of TNF games? The battle started out limper than Stephen Baldwin’s career, but when that whistle blew, I find it difficult to believe ANY of you were questioning the quality of entertainment you just witnessed. Yes, I was once a detractor of TNF games, but with the inclusion of many more inter-divisional games and the upgraded ability for teams to prepare on a short week, going back to last season, it’s actually been quite solid. Enough of tonguing Peyton’s taint, though I know many of you would like to dive further into the discussion, the purpose of this post is to inform you of my most inner thoughts and dark secrets regarding Sunday and Monday’s games.

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em! Take heed!

You can check out my rankings here, for all your roster needs.

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Greetings! Totally awesome Thursday Night Football, right? A wretched performance by T-Pain, Bob Kraft’s trout-ass trotting around the field like a prized gelding, the Steelers headsets “malfunctioning”, and of course, GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK, is all I really took away from a game that was missing what was basically every player I wanted to watch, due to a suspension for smoking that sticky icky. The game went pretty much as I expected, other than D’Angelo treating the Patriots run defense the way my favorite porn star and close friend, Mandingo, treats his co-stars. No sir, I am not sold on the Patriots being a contender this season. My apologies to the mass-holes, who verbally beat me like a piñata each and every day on Twitter for that epic Seattle Seahawks fail in the Super Bowl. Your time is coming. Oh yes, your time is coming (laughs maniacally while coating my naked body in Vaseline). But seriously though, who cares about real football!? This is a fantasy site, ya’ll! Communicating with the Elder Gods is a complicated and somewhat challenging affair; It involves an immense fire pit, sage brush, a quarter oz. of Peyote, a fifth of Everclear, animal sacrifice, and a bit of luck. Even when they accept my summons and pass the peace pipe with me, deciphering their language and riddles is a most difficult thing to accomplish, but I do my utmost, and that is all one can ask of a man such as myself. Below, is what the Elders have foretold for Week 1.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Start ’em and Sit ’em. Take heed!

You can check out my rankings here, for all your roster needs…

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Greetings! Did you all enjoy that exhilarating Hall of Fame game as much as I did? Landry Jones looks about as valuable as Kim Kardashian before she so eloquently played the meat flute on camera. Seriously, preseason football is harder to watch than that Hulk Hogan sex tape, you know the one where he simultaneously drilled his best friend’s ex-wife AND managed to slip the “N” word out multiple times? Okay, enough about sex tapes. You’re not here to listen to me bash celebrities (or are you?). You’re here to get Beddict’s take on the TE position, a position that I must admit, I’m a little down on this season. Jimmy Graham has been traded away from a high-flying passing attack to a ground-and-pound system that is bound to disappoint. I’d say it’s akin to the falloff from season one of True Detective to season two.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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Ugh, do I have to, Fantasy Gods?  Why must you torture me so?  What did I ever do to you to deserve this?  You touch yourself inappropriately when you think no one is watching.  Ummm, Fantasy Gods care about that?  You’re ruling over a bunch of nerds, what else are we supposed to do?  ‘Check out my fantasy team’ isn’t exactly something you post on Tinder.  Neverthewho!  Eli Manning.  Ugh…I mean, he plays football so there’s that.  Just doesn’t play it well most weeks…so there’s that too.  Then again, he’s coming off a bye and should hopefully be ready and prepared to take on a secondary that got completely wrecked both on the scoreboard and in terms of injuries on week 8…but of course Rashad Jennings might not be back this week and it’s clear the Giants need him…ooph, this is tough.  Eli is gonna throw for 350 and 4 TDs or he’s gonna end with 175, 2 picks and give you Manning face.  There’s really no in between with this guy so for me he’s going to be a GPP only go and even at that, only do it if everyone and their mother says ‘I won’t play Eli this week’ for the contrarian goodness.  Wow, what an inspiring opening!  I think there is more hedging here than even a yard worker could provide.  Clearly it’s time to move on so let’s.  Here’s some other hot takes for the week 9 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

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The Senior Bowl is typically a key part in the draft evaluation process for all 32 NFL teams. However, it is merely just one piece of the puzzle, with the combine and pro-days looming. This game isn’t the crux of the process. For us dynasty leaguers, evaluating the Senior Bowl should be no different. Lest we forget Senior Bowl’s of the past that saw future NFL studs duds such as Christian Ponder, Isaiah Pead, and Pat White had a great week of practice, earn Senior Bowl MVP honors and then fall on their faces in the show. On the other hand, players like Matt Forte, Russell Wilson, and Alfred Morris performed well in this game and have gone on to have great success in the NFL, but more importantly, on our fake football teams. While most of the guys in attendance are quality football players, the cream of the fantasy crop are mostly underclassmen. This year a record 102 underclassmen declared for the draft, with most of the better future fantasy play-makers residing among them. That isn’t to say that some of the Senior Bowl players shouldn’t be on your radar. Here are some guys to keep an eye on…

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