Welcome back, my lovelies, to another week of lovin’ from yours truly. How did you fare this week? Not too good from what I hear. Did you lose more valuable players to blown out ACL’s or other bodily injuries? Are you feeling like you are getting the run-around with this whole Ezekiel Elliot thing where one minute he’s playing and another he may not? I know. There is nothing worse that wanting to have a little fun and someone acting like an ex who won’t let go, and keeps hitting you up. Well, fear not. It seems that Elliot may be looking at his suspension soon, which means the door is open for some other talent to make its way into your life and satisfy all of your needs. Me you ask? I did pretty well this week. Of the leagues I am in that I actually pay attention to, I went undefeated this week. I have a few leagues which mean nothing to me, so of course, I treat them like anything which can’t meet my needs or satisfy me in the way I need it to…I ignore them and hope they will go away. So, with that in mind, let’s proceed like we are trying to get in the pants of some really hot young talent and get right down to it. Ladies and gentlemen, convicts and perverts, welcome to Hit it or Quit it, Week 10.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you hadn’t noticed from the alerts that you are getting on your phone that are annoying your wife or girlfriend, the trade deadline is upon us and we had a busy Monday night. We have two trades that have big impacts on three offenses so far. Since the trade deadline isn’t officially over until 4:00 P.M. Est on Tuesday, you may be hearing from me twice.

There are reportedly two teams that are showing interest in Frank Gore. As if that is not a big enough clue that the Colts are tanking for the season, Indianapolis is also reportedly fielding calls for T.Y. Hilton as well. It would be surprising to me, but maybe Martavis Bryant gets moved to a contender who needs some burst in their receiving corps. Earlier today, it was reported that the Eagles are kicking the tires on the possibility of the Detroit Lions trading them the rights to Calvin Johnson. But this morning, we are focusing So, let’s get this started before you make your waiver wire claims this evening.

[BREAKING: Ezekiel Elliott has been denied his Preliminary Injunction, which essentially means his suspension has been upheld. Note that the suspension will begin after a 24 hour period and the NFLPA will certainly appeal. So he can’t play for the next six games. MAYBE. We’ll know more tomorrow. Alfred Morris and Darren McFadden remain must-owns in all formats.]

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Is there a better time to be a sports fan? Everyone rooting for the Astros to beat the Dodgers in the World Series, everyone overreacting to every NBA game, fantasy football owners starting to turn their attention to playoff season, the NHL still existing.

Up here in the northeast the leaves are starting to fall just like your fantasy playoff chances if you don’t use Razzball to get you over the hump. If you’ve got league-specific questions — post them below and I will get to them Saturday afternoon/evening.

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So, the NFL is cancelling the season after Monday Night Football in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right? His injury is clearly worse than 9-11, if you are to believe the outpouring of melancholy media ejaculate yesterday. Not that they don’t have a reason. Losing one of the NFL’s most marketable players for selling insurance not only leaves us just with Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt (who died last week) to hawk stupid sh*t, but also allows the Packers to show how terrible Brett Hundley is at quarterbacking. Football sure knows how to expand it’s market share! And I realize there’s already a lot of hype building for signing Colin Kaepernick, which if we’re writing seriously (rare, I know) makes some sense, but I feel like a sports organization has to do triage for these situations with a bit more vigor. So I’ve come up with a strategy, a “plan of attack” if you will, that I believe the Packers are considering right this very moment:

  • Plan A – Send feelers out about signing Colin Kaepernick to gauge the reactions from fans and media. Invest in the TIKI torch brand if signing takes place. If not, move to Plan “B”.
  • Plan B – Beg Tony Romo to leave the booth. If Romo says yes, move to “Plan XXIV” when he gets injured in his first game back. If Romo says no, move to “Plan XXIV”.
  • Plan XXIV – WHERE IS MATT FLYNN? If found, give him more free money. If not, give him more free money and move to the next plan.
  • Plan LOL – Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers receivers. If Miami says no, move to the last plan.
  • Plan OMFG – Tim Tebow time! Because at this point, why the ef not?

The NFC North is gonna otherwise be ceded to a team that got blown out by the Saints yesterday. But yeah, darn shame about Rodgers… now that I’ve confirmed the Chargers don’t play Green Bay later this season…

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Welcome back to the RazzBlitz Podcast!

Zach and I power through the Week 6 slate so I can catch the end of the Cubs game. I should have just made him podcast for two more hours. We talk about the tragedy that is Ben Roethlisberger and Ju-Ju Smith Schuster vs. Martavis Bryant. Other topics include: Breida vs. Hyde, how incredible Deshaun Watson and Alvin Kamara are, and Aaron Rodgers’ outlook against the Vikings!

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Welcome back to my weekly rankings, folks! Injuries are ravaging our rosters, but the show must go on. Last week I had some good calls, such as Chris Hogan over Brandin Cooks, Doug Martin was in my top-15 running backs, I had Austin Seferian-Jenkins in my top-7 tight ends, and DeShaun Watson was a top-5 QB for me. I had my fair share of bad calls too. Mike Evans and Todd Gurley did not outperform the rest of their positions, I left Cam Newton just outside of my top 10 quarterbacks, and Devante Parker didn’t get the chance to be a top-10 WR for the week.

Let’s try this again, I will be updating these throughout the week, sometimes 436 times per day! Here are my Week 6 rankings…

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another Wednesday, Rankings Day! In case you haven’t heard, I’m going to be switching up the format for this article. I’m going to keep my blurbs short and sweet, like the Matt/Jay/Tehol do, with more emphasis on the “Tool Time” series, where not only will we have more updated information regarding who’s healthy or not, but also a clearer look at match-ups, and a chance to give you guys more information regarding our Razzball-certified picks for the week ahead.

Enough chatter, let’s get to it!

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Last week I promised that I would dedicate the following week to subjecting myself to the save level of scrutiny I have spent the past two weeks bestowing upon the author of ESPN’s weekly fantasy football Love/Hate article. Well fast forward to today and it is now next week. You like how I did that. I didn’t need a flux capacitor, 88 MPH or 1.21 gigawatts to launch us into the future. Eat your heart out Doc. On a related note, did you hear they are doing a remake of Back To The Future with Will Smith’s son as Marty McFly. Donald Trump will be playing Biff Tannen.

Well I guess it’s time to see just how much I am going to ridicule myself. Without further adieu…

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Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday, Rankings Day! Get ready for another jam-packed day in which myself and Matt will be sharing with you all our rankings! Just a quick note, before I begin, I’m going to be switching up the format this week. I’m going to keep my blurbs short and sweet, like the other guys do, with more emphasis on the “Tool Time” series, where not only will we have more updated information regarding who’s healthy or not, but also a clearer look at match-ups, and a chance to give you guys more information regarding our Razzball-certified picks for the week ahead.

Enough chatter, let’s get to it!

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After last week’s boring as hell waiver wire we’re back this week with some real options. Not the sexiest of options, mind you, but more (the ol’ quantity over quality). Remember we’re going with $100 FAAB dollars (though most of you probably have much less than that, and I’m working off the loose assumption you have about $50 or so left so adjust accordingly):

Please, blog, may I have some more?