There comes a moment in everyone’s life when they sigh deeply and think to themselves, Man, I’m sure not good at football, but I wouldn’t have thrown that pass directly into a defensive lineman’s forehead. For a lot of us, that moment came to fruition last night. With an open Cole Kmet in the front of the end zone, Justin Fields rifled a throw right into the dome of Efe Obada, causing the ball to skyrocket into the air and come down into the hands of Jonathan Allen for an interception. That proved to be Fields’ lone turnover of the night, but that miscue coupled with Velus Jones’ muffed punt in the fourth quarter was ultimately Chicago’s downfall. And once again, we find ourselves wondering if the NFL’s Thursday Night Football could possibly get any harder to watch, and I find myself debating what I did to Donkey Teeth to deserve being stuck with writing about this travesty week after week. But complaining is for the weak, so onward we trudge into the abysmal abyss!

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This group is one that good fantasy managers will know well. Wide Receivers 41-80 offer a mix of high-upside youngsters whose ceiling seems unlimited and old reliable veterans who provide a stable floor. The variance in predicting their future fantasy production is exacerbated by the fact that many of them are free agents, so we must evaluate them without team context, which can be a beneficial exercise. It is more pertinent to know the player than their situation. I like to get a mix of the high floor and ceiling players from this bunch, but I would rather have more ceiling than floor, a bad blueprint for a carpenter, but a good plan for a fantasy manager. My team design requires I take at least three players from this group at the draft. Whether that is WR 2 through 5 on my rosters, or 3 through 6 is relatively inconsequential to me. Let’s analyze this group player by player.

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I was working in the lab, late one night. When my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster on his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise… He did the Mash. The Monster Mash

Just take these wise words in for a moment. Breathe them in. The monster… he did the mash. And don’t we all do the mash sometimes, much to the chagrin and sometimes excitement to our contemporaries? Yes, even sometimes it will truly be a “graveyard smash”. 

What was this section about? Oh uh Halloween injury report. Right. There was a thread here but I got carried away in the poetry of Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt Kickers (Side note: Here’s a great TV performance of Bobby Pickett doing the Monster Mash, a real masterclass in making really weird faces and being a weirdo).

The teams who will have some extra trick-or-treating time on bye this week are the Ravens and the Raiders. See ya next week! 

Let’s get into this week’s horror show!

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Week seven will likely be a wild one. Bye weeks begin in earnest, and of course, you have the pile of injuries that continues to stack up. It will be a “last man standing” situation this week. And you want to be Bruce Willis, not Tim Allen. By the way, what pretentious title for the sitcom “Last Man Standing”. It is no wonder that the show was canceled. I know the rest of us are just a bunch of vegan, chai-sipping wussies staring at our phones, but do you think you could outlast all of us? C’mon Tim, Tool Time is over. Don’t embarrass the good folks at Binder. And with that, now on to the list.

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Is it me or are a lot of guys injured? Normally, I’d have some little cutsie intro to get into the carnage but sheesh, man! I don’t know about you but I’m getting killed out here! I actually sprained my right knee on a fishing boat last weekend and was listed as limited but here I am, dammit.

When I see the players I roster in person someday, I’m gonna tell them: If I can man up and type up a bunch of nonsense about fake football with a ligament injury, well then YOU GOTTA PLAY TOO, YOU BIG BABY!

As you can tell, this has been a tough week. Between my injury, all the injuries on my fantasy teams, and what’s happening to my Raiders… Well, we’ll get into that last part later.

And to add to the prevailing roster chaos we have our first bye week of the year! See you next week Jets, Falcons, 49ers, and Saints!

Let’s segue right into Sunday morning with an Intra-Florida showdown in London.

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Ah, do you smell that in the air? No, it’s not the sweet hoppy smell of the IPAs flowing at Urban Meyer’s Pint House. No, that’s the smell of Football Sunday… and the smell of torn tendons and pulled hammys. That’s gotta hurt! Still probably can’t hurt as bad as I’m sure many of you out there in the ether are with depleted rosters. God bless the poor souls playing Davis Mills this week. You will be in my prayers. 

Anyway, let’s dive into this week’s injury headlines hot off the presses!

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Another new day is upon us, folks. Another beautiful weekend of NFL football, another week of eating chicken wings and slamming brews while enjoying a real sport instead of some European nonsense like smelling gross cheese and discussing feelings. Or whatever those degenerates do over there. Could we be more blessed? Well, yeah. Your players could be healthy and your teams could be playing well but instead, here we are! 

 So let’s get into the latest injury news and updates for Week 4!

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Up until this write-up, I have been exploring the Mariana Trench of fantasy football players for the deepest of sleepers. The pressure is building and I need to surface for some fresh air. Time has come to assess what I’ve seen from the known commodities of the Fantasy Football world – the land-walkers. I have more players listed this week and I think they will be more relevant to the leagues in which you play. As usual, I have a little bit of everything – Quarterbacks, Runningbacks, Wide Receivers, and a Tight End (I’ve been working out). I hope you enjoy it.

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Poor Daniel Jones can’t catch a break. The Giants can’t even let the other team lose properly! On Thursday Night Football, with the world watching, the Giants quarterback rose to the occasion and played one of his best games that I can remember. The New York Giants had several opportunities to put the game away, but penalties, receiving blunders and an inexcusable special teams debacle handed the Washington Football Team the win in the closing seconds. Overall, it was a good game with 5 lead changes including a back-and-forth 4th quarter and a game winning field goal on the last play.

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Well, my precious goblins and ghouls, the football season is finally upon us. And naturally, with that, I have the grave responsibility to inform you fine specimens of the injuries that can and will impact your Week 1 fantasy rosters. 

Such is life. 

Let’s jump in and see who might be available on your waiver or can receive a bump in production from the gaps left by these poor, hurt souls. 

Shall we? 

The first injury to look at is… *checks notes* Oh the entire Ravens backfield. That’s not good! In just a few days the Ravens have lost their breakout star J.K. Dobbins, Justice Hill, and the most recently Gus Edwards to terrible season-ending injuries. In response, the team has signed Latavius Murray along with Le’Veon Bell and Devonta Freeman to their practice squad presumably to try to keep Lamar from having to rush approximately 10,000,000 yards per game. As of now, it looks like the Ravens are going to start the last running back left standing before the leg injury bloodbath, Ty’Son Williams, who might just have an opportunity against an uncertain Raiders pass rush under new defensive coordinator Gus Bradley and a reshaped defense. Look for Latavius Murray and Ty’Son Williams as a possible pick-up in leagues you might have had one of the injured fellows in and if you are feeling very adventurous maybe take a look at Le’Veon Bell or Devonta Freeman for a possible bounce-back campaign. I’m still not betting on that though, sorry Blair

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth discuss some of the recent season affecting injuries and cuts as we enter a very busy draft weekend. Football is back! We start with the injury news to 2nd year running back, JK Dobbins, and where he fits in with fellow young RBs Cam Akers and Travis Etienne for dynasty value. Cam Newton is out, Mac Jones is in for New England. Where are the guys on the weapons? Jakobi Meyers, Rhamondre Stevenson, Damien Harris, and the tight ends.

B_Don and DT compare their top 200 rankings. We discuss our biggest differences in Miles Sanders, Jalen Hurts, and a bunch of young WRs. We also talk about the guys that missed the cut for one of our lists in Dyami Brown, Tyrell Williams, and who we expect to take the 2nd WR spot for the Chiefs. 

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One of the things I value most whether it be in film, music, or literature, is originality. When you get a hold of something with a truly fresh concept, it is mind-blowing. I remember the first time I saw Robert Downey Sr.’s Putney Swope. I had never seen humor and satire done in such a confrontational and blunt manner. I was used to the kind of satire found in the early works of Mel Brooks and Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove. Incredible works on their own, but Putney Swope was truly another level for me. If you’ve never seen the film, it tells the story of the only minority executive member of an advertising firm, who is accidentally put in charge after the sudden death of the chairman of the board. Restricted by the company by-laws from voting for themselves, members voted by secret ballot for the one person they thought would never win: Putney Swope. It is hilarious, raw, and confronts the race issues of the late ’60s as I had never seen before. Originality is paramount when it comes to me consuming my content. That being said, today I am to talk about sleepers for this 2021 season.

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