Two weeks ago I amused the people with my top 25 for 2020 dynasty football where I wrote about my crooked hard-on for Kerryon Johnson from my cushy American barn. Last week I captivated the audience with my top 50 for 2020 dynasty football where I insulted JuJu Smith-Schuster while vacationing in Madrid. This week I’ll regale the world with my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football, written while stranded in Paris on Jesus’s Birthday. Long story short: the Europeans are on strike. Nobody wants to work, making my holiday travels a challenge. But there’s worse places to get stuck than Paris where Donkey has made the most of it by visiting world renowned Peyronie’s Disease specialists, eating hay crêpes and discovering new football talent; I’ve heard this Cristiano Ronaldo hombre will be a great kicker. Anyway, here’s my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have finally made it to Week 14, which, for most (sane) people, means that we have finally made it to the start of the fantasy playoffs. Thankfully, there aren’t a whole lot of players on the injury report this week, as most are just on the mend, recovering from certain breaks, fractures, pulls, sprains or tweaks suffered a few weeks ago.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With the fantasy playoffs just one week away, we hope and pray that none of our stars get hit the injury bug. Yet this is the time, now more than ever to make sure we are fully prepared with handcuffs stashed away, and backup receivers scouted to make sure that if the bad news comes our way… we improvise, adapt and overcome!

It’s Thanksgiving Week, which means we have officially survived the bye weeks as well. What a time to be truly thankful.

Let’s talk about some of the biggest names in the league who landed on the injury report this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The air is getting thinner and thinner as we ascend to the fabled peak of fantasy football. The week 11 wire is one of the slimmest all season and there aren’t many guys I would be excited about adding. I hope you all have been storing away sustenance to get through the next 2 major bye weeks.

It will continue to be a slog until the contenders have been separated from the amateurs and life is renewed in week 14. Hang in there even if you’re sitting at 4-6. As long as 7-6 is possible, keep the dream alive my friends!

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It’s week 10 of the fantasy football season. After you get done reading this and ask your questions, get all of your housework done because we have 10 hours of great football ahead of us. Well, hopefully. During the early games, the Bears and the Lions will face off in a last ditch effort to keep their seasons alive. The Browns will host Buffalo and try to save face. There are reports that there could be some high winds in that one so keep that in mind when you are setting your DFS and season-long lineups. Patrick Mahomes is back, folks! Patrick Mahomes will make his return against the Tennessee Titans. Our shoot out this week comes in Tampa Bay and a matchup between Jameis Winston and Kyler Murray. There should plenty of fantasy points to go around in that one. 

In the late afternoon, the Panthers face off in Lambeau with Kyle Allen getting another chance to keep the Panthers in the playoff race. The Rams will try and keep themselves in the division race against the surging Pittsburgh Steelers. On Sunday night, Kirk Cousins will try and turn around his historic primetime stench with the Vikings traveling to Dallas to take on the Cowboys. Let’s get to the injuries followed by updated rankings.

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As we get deeper into the season, more and more players are landing on their team’s injury report. However, with more and more teams also having their bye weeks, players are getting extra time to recover.

A bunch of wideouts have landed on the injury report this week, and even more are on the mend, trending towards playing in the coming weeks.

Let’s talk about some of the players who landed on the injury report this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While there were some trouble spots, Week 5 was generally pretty quiet for most teams in the NFL…. except for one in particular, who are missing a bunch of offensive stars before their Thursday Night Football clash. Good thing they’re facing the… *checks notes* New England Patriots and their tough defense. That should be fun! Let’s see if we can accentuate any positives while addressing the rest of the league.

Let’s talk about some of the players who landed on the injury report this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Apologies, everyone. I missed last week’s article because I was busy with a jury duty summons. This wasn’t your typical case, which is exactly what I expected in my quiet Pennsylvania neighborhood. Instead, the case that I was potentially going to be selected for was national news: a quadruple homicide in a barn in southeast PA that is still being investigated now. Needless to say, I wasn’t selected, but it unfortunately kept me busy and kept me from sharing my strategy with all of you loyal readers… which is a shame, because my FanDuel lineups did pretty well this week (ignore the stakes and let me bask in the glory of my success… I’m just out of college, alright?).

Please, blog, may I have some more?