Sometimes you must know when to say goodbye. Sometimes we hold on for too long to something or someone who needs to go. Being in our lives gives us a sense of hope however false it may be. Whether you are bidding adieu to a reunited love on a tarmac, releasing your best friend back into the wild where they belong, or cutting Curtis Samuel about eight weeks later than most other fantasy managers: sometimes it is best to set them free. The playoffs are not far off and now is the time to start shaping those rosters for the tough journey ahead.

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As we move from the half way mark of the season, B_Don has another guest, Steve Paulo, on to discuss week 9. We start with the Arizona Cardinals offense as we wait for word on Kyler Murray and with Chase Edmonds set to miss a few weeks. Next, the 2 talk about a couple of top RBs for the ROS in Joe Mixon and Christian McCaffrey. 

B_Don moves the topic to Steve’s favorite team, the 49ers, as he asks about Brandon Aiyuk, and the 49ers RB situation between Elijah Mitchell and Jeff Wilson. One of the teams that can give both Bears and 49ers fans hope, is the Jets. They have a QB controversy and Elijah Moore may be developing in front of our eyes. We compare Elijah to other WRs for redraft and dynasty. We wrap up with everyone’s favorite segment, A$$hole of the Week! 

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I had my first board meeting with the Razzball executives this past week and was it a doozy. If you’re wondering what a meeting with Razzball looks like, it is all very secretive and mysterious. None of our identities are known and we all wear large teddy bear suits. We often get accused of copying the 1998 motion picture The Avengers (no not the Marvel one), but they told me we did it first. At the meeting we addressed how we should refer to the free agent acquisition budget (FAAB) percentages going forth. After two darts in the neck to teddy bears I can only assume were Skorish and JB Barry (neither returned my calls over the weekend), we decided going forth the percentages will still reflect original budget. We would like to thank all who contributed and Reddit for sending their weird bear with the crazy smile. Apparently, he had to pay extra tokens for it and we know this because he just would not shut up about it! Alas, your waivers.

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I just got off a Zoom call with Donkey Teeth as he was celebrating his Jonathan Taylor predictions by ziplining through the Himalayas. The first thing I asked him was: is it really safe to string up lines 20,000 feet high across treacherous political borders? The Zoom call cut out at that point, and DT must have started using a filter because his voice sounded really funny after that. DT’s such a clown. Then I asked him how he felt about the Colts’ Jonathan Taylor racking up 145 yards and 2 TDs on 14 carries. DT responded: “We really appreciate his prodigious output on such minimal attempts. We’re going to inspect his process and then implement it down the line such that Miles Sanders starts becoming relevant again. Please shop Razzball.com for your favorite merchandise and tell them Llama Mouth sent you.” Then the Zoom ended. So much for a free service! ENYWHEY.

Let’s check out the big performances from the Sunday slate in week 6 of fantasy football. 

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Is it me or are a lot of guys injured? Normally, I’d have some little cutsie intro to get into the carnage but sheesh, man! I don’t know about you but I’m getting killed out here! I actually sprained my right knee on a fishing boat last weekend and was listed as limited but here I am, dammit.

When I see the players I roster in person someday, I’m gonna tell them: If I can man up and type up a bunch of nonsense about fake football with a ligament injury, well then YOU GOTTA PLAY TOO, YOU BIG BABY!

As you can tell, this has been a tough week. Between my injury, all the injuries on my fantasy teams, and what’s happening to my Raiders… Well, we’ll get into that last part later.

And to add to the prevailing roster chaos we have our first bye week of the year! See you next week Jets, Falcons, 49ers, and Saints!

Let’s segue right into Sunday morning with an Intra-Florida showdown in London.

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So, they think they found the Zodiac Killer huh? I had this case solved in 2007 after seven marathon viewings of David Fincher’s Zodiac. The eighteen-hour film festival of sorts guided me to another cinematic treasure and the true greatest San Francisco based film of all-time, Homeward Bound II: Lost In San Francisco. Every clue to every cipher can be found there. All those exhausted detectives. All those man hours. One viewing of HB: Dos with Sassy, Chance, and Shadow would’ve solved all your problems. You know what else is exhausting? Trying to find the right person on your waiver wire. Lucky for you, I patterned my work ethic this week after Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal in Zodiac (Seriously the best San Francisco based film or maybe it is Vertigo. Yeah, it’s Vertigo), pounded the coffee to find some of this week’s best options on the waiver wire.

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I write you from the warm fall ambiance of Green Bay in October, where I’ve been hired as the new kicker for the Packers. After Mason Crosby missed a hat trick worth of field goals, I was hired on Fiverr by a guy named “Cornelius Chuck” to take over the booting work in the Bold North. My new insider knowledge informs this fantasy football report, which is filled with my new coach speak jargon. Let’s jam the tires full of cheese my mateys! 

Here’s what I saw in Week 5 of 2021 Fantasy Football: 

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Ah, do you smell that in the air? No, it’s not the sweet hoppy smell of the IPAs flowing at Urban Meyer’s Pint House. No, that’s the smell of Football Sunday… and the smell of torn tendons and pulled hammys. That’s gotta hurt! Still probably can’t hurt as bad as I’m sure many of you out there in the ether are with depleted rosters. God bless the poor souls playing Davis Mills this week. You will be in my prayers. 

Anyway, let’s dive into this week’s injury headlines hot off the presses!

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With the 17 game season this year, we’ll hit the quarter mark of games around the first quarter of the games this week. Seems like as good of a time as any to take a look at what has happened so far this season and where we went wrong or right. One in particular is our pre-season and current Ezekiel Elliott ranking. Among other surprises this season, Cordarrelle Patterson and Sam Darnold stand near the top of biggest over performers based on draft ranking. 

We look at some of the injuries from week 4 and how they may play out ROS. From the Chicago and Cincinnati RB situations to the Jacksonville WR room, the week 4 injuries could have meaningful impacts on several players. We also discuss the rookie QBs and where we’re at on them for week 5 and beyond. As always, we wrap up with our A$$hole of the Week. 

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When I last bought a CD, my face was covered in acne and I was rocking an all-maroon sweat suit and some kind of hybrid between a mullet and the infamous pretty boy Bieber-do. The year is unknown, but I strolled into the local pharmacy (this is truly where I bought my blank CDs) and perused the isles for a stack of CD-RWs to burn some Fall Out Boy and Yellowcard onto. Now, as I’m writing this week’s buy/sell column, I can still hear the lyrics, “Dance, dance… We’re falling apart to half time…” echoing in my head. For CeeDee Lamb’s fantasy owners, those lyrics hit at another level this past weekend, as the Cowboys’ star wideout was held without a single catch in the first half of Dallas’ Week 4 game against the Carolina Panthers. Lamb ultimately finished with two catches for just 13 yards, ranking outside of the top-45 fantasy wide receivers for the second-consecutive week. That, my friends, gives us the perfect buy-low window heading into a Week 5 matchup with the Giants. For Lamb, a player who was averaging 12 targets through Week 2 of the campaign and has the luxury of one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL in Dak Prescott at his disposal, it’s nearly impossible to imagine his stock getting any lower at any point this fantasy season. So, yes — in a world where even iPods have become obsolete, I am telling you to go out and buy some CeeDees. As many as you can, and quickly — because there’s no telling how long this product will even be on the shelves. Damn you, corporate America and your painful production delays! We should have never outsourced semiconductors in the first place. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

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