Every year there are a handful of players that can elevate a fantasy team to the championship or sink it to the depths of the standings. All players are unique in their skill sets, team context, and career trajectory but some profiles do line up. 

As we get into draft season, we’re all trying to avoid the next big bust. With injuries, it’s often just bad luck but often times we can see a storm brewing around a player. Last year Le’Veon Bell was returing after a season off on a new team with a lackluster coach and a disappointment was almost too easy to spot, but many fell for it anyway. In the name of value, drafters will hold their nose and take players they know they shouldn’t. Sometimes it’s just best to avoid a bad situation.

So who will be this year’s not NEXT team? (ADPs via fantasydata)

Jared Gofftop 10 QB who is demoted to streamer

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When Scott Fish personally reached out to me (that didn’t happen) and begged me to participate in SFBX (also didn’t happen) to raise money for his Fantasy Cares charity, I reluctantly joined to help the kids. If you aren’t familiar with the Scott Fish Bowl, it’s the fantasy football equivalent of Burning Man. With a field of 1,440 participants, most of whom are in the fantasy football industry, some call it the greatest fantasy football competition in the universe. The Razzball camp was lit for this event: B_Don was handing out the experimental drugs, MB was twirling fire sticks, Rudy was waxing poetic about his 2020 fantasy football projections and The Boof was boofing anything and everything he could find to boof. And he found plenty to boof. All the while I sat in the corner whispering sweet dick jokes to my beloved Kerryon Johnson fathead. After making the SFB playoffs last year and then getting demolished in the first round, Kerryon and I were laser focused for this year’s draft. Without further ado, here’s the recap of my 2020 Scott Fish Bowl Draft out of the #2 slot (see the full draft board here):

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So Zeke caught the Rona? I’m not surprised, that guy is always asking for people to feed him. Just goes to show you how important it is to feed yourself during pandemics, there’s no telling where other people’s hands have been. So depending on who you talk to, this Zeke news means one of three things: 1) there will be no NFL season, 2) Zeke is now the #1 fantasy pick since he has all those glorious antibodies, 3) our lizard rulers are using 5G to control the population size. The clear answer is #3, but the idea of COVID-immunity really solidifies Elliott as #3 in my top 10 running backs for 2020 fantasy football. I need to figure out how to steal some sweet antibodies away from those reptiles on Capital Hill. Update: I just read that humans may never develop immunity to COVID-19. C’mon 2020, throw us a bone! Speaking of bones, here’s my top 20 running backs for 2020 PPR fantasy football:

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The news cycle stays pretty slow in the summer, but there are always little tidbits to find here and there. And I’m thankful for at least a little bit of news every now and then. There is a feasible possibility that football is the first major sport to come back, it certainly looks like baseball is having trouble pulling itself together. Then you have to throw in the element of the “Covid signing”. This is when teams make otherwise unnecessary signings for depth in case the team has an outbreak during the season. It’s going to be interesting come training camp! Here is the fantasy relevant news so far in the month of May.

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The 2020 NFL Draft Combine has come and gone. Here’s what we learned: Henry Ruggs isn’t slow, two large trees were killed in the making of A.J. Dillon’s legs, Jonathan Taylor is THE MAN, and eight large deep dish pizzas (Pequods-only) in three days is too much for any one donkey. So now what? First, I’ll probably need to go to the gym to work off these 30 extra combine-pizza-pounds. But you’re here for fantasy football discussion, not updates on Donkey’s rapidly deteriorating physical and mental health. Well, our 2020 Dynasty and Rookie Rankings are now being populated and updated frequently, and B_Don is plowing thru the film on his 2020 NFL Draft Previews. I went over my top 20 and top 40 dynasty running backs last week and made a couple minor post-combine tweaks once the dust settled (insert Jonathan Taylor eggplant emoji). Anyway, here’s my top 60 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Disclaimer: If you’re sensitive to ridiculously high rankings of Kerryon Johnson, don’t scroll too far. 

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Have you stocked up on disposable N-95 masks, canned goods and lotion yet? Oh, you don’t think you’ll need a stockpile of lotion for what’s coming? Once I’m in self-quarantine, here’s how I picture my daily routine:

12:00 AM – 6:00 AM: Dream About Kerryon Johnson MVP season(s)

6:00 AM – 9:00 AM: Eat Pancakes 

9:00 AM – 12:00 AM: Rosterbate to my Dynasty Teams 

Needless to say, my lotion supply is locked and loaded. Speaking of locked and loaded, check out all of our 2020 Fantasy Football Dynasty and Rookie Rankings! I went over my top 20 dynasty running backs (full list at bottom of this post) earlier this week between visits to the lotion dealer; yes, I’m still irrationally high on Kerryon Johnson and crystal meth. Anyway, here’s my top 40 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football: 

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What’s better than a dynasty football slow draft in February when there isn’t any football to watch anymore? I refuse to acknowledge the XFL, by the way. Okay, maybe a fantasy baseball draft would be a little more exciting than a football draft because the season is a lot closer. Some of us prefer football over baseball and there’s some of us that can do both. A fantasy sports Eiffel Tower, if you will. 

I was lucky enough to catch an industry friend’s tweet about a start up dynasty that was going to draft in February and I gave it about 0.2 seconds of thought before I came to the conclusion that I was all for it. I messaged Matt Williams and he gladly accepted me assuming that I don’t have a reputation of ghosting my teams (I don’t). It is a 12-team PPR superflex league with a TE premium. My opponents include: Scott Fish Bowl 8 champion Stompy, Matt Williams, John Hogue, Kane Fossell, Nick Faber, @DFSMich_5, Caleb Pierson, Steven Toroni, Jon Helmkamp, John Hesterman, @GOATDistrict and @EverydayFFB. Those are 12 names, but two of them co-own a team. 

I’ll mostly just be writing about my roster, but I will also point out some tidbits on how the draft board was shaking out. Most of the meat of the analysis will be in the first 10 or so rounds. First drafts of the season are rusty, and there will be plenty of trading in this league, but I’m hoping that a good portion of these picks shape out. I drafted from the 11 spot. 

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The zero RB truth-ing will never stop. But maybe, just maybe, the 2019 season results will put a halt to the growth of it’s following. When looking at the top 12 finishes for 2019 in PPR leagues: 5 of the players were running backs, 6 were quarterbacks (obviously), and there was only one wide receiver. Of the 5 running backs that finished in the top 12, 3 of them had 2019 ADPs in the top 15. Those players were Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, and somehow Ezekiel Elliott. 

I’m sort of trolling with that first paragraph, zero RB is by no means a bad strategy. An easy counter argument is to point out how well Austin Ekeler, Mark Ingram, and Chris Carson finished. Austin Ekeler was a popular zero RB target and we’ll get to him a little later.

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Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?