One of my favorite movie theater experiences came during my freshman year in college at my local art house cinema. I had never seen a David Lynch film before but heard good things about him. All I really knew is he made Twin Peaks, a tv show with the most nightmare inducing theme song. In hindsight, maybe Mulholland Dr. was not the best foray into his catalog. While it is now one of my favorite films, I left the theater confused and doubting my own intelligence. I went back the next night and it started to become clearer. It was the first movie where the audience stayed around after and discussed “what it all meant.” Sometimes NFL weeks can feel a mess and make absolutely no sense. They hit you like a ton of bricks and require more than the usual analysis. This past week felt like one of those weeks, but through the madness and riddles, a few bright lights shone through all the way to the waiver wire.

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Ah yes. Week 7. It’s so easy to look over this slate of games and think: “huh. This seems like a boring week”. This might be partially influenced by watching superstars Teddy Bridgewater and Case Keenum face off in an extremely boring game in Cleveland. And listen, you’re probably right. The favorites might just sweep the board and we may experience the most lopsided and dull day in NFL history. But how many times have you really seen that EVER happen? That’s right, it’s always any given Sunday, baby. 

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I see you there with your lone win, maybe two, and you are starting to worry. This is not at all how you thought the season was going to go when you were drafting back in August. The real fear is starting to sink in of completely missing the playoffs and having to play for your league’s last place trophy, which is probably some horrid garden ornament you must display in your home every day through the following season. I am here to tell you, there options and you guessed it, we are looking towards the silver screen for inspiration. When John Cassavetes’ acting career was in trouble in Rosemary’s Baby he reached out to his neighbors for help, but now he must help raise that baby and apparently something is wrong with his eyes. You could always see your local Godfather for some trade assistance and a deal no one could refuse, but horseheads are in short supply these days. Then again, it is probably better to buckle down and focus on fielding the best lineup you can. Allow me to be of assistance with this week’s waiver wire recommendations.

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I just got off a Zoom call with Donkey Teeth as he was celebrating his Jonathan Taylor predictions by ziplining through the Himalayas. The first thing I asked him was: is it really safe to string up lines 20,000 feet high across treacherous political borders? The Zoom call cut out at that point, and DT must have started using a filter because his voice sounded really funny after that. DT’s such a clown. Then I asked him how he felt about the Colts’ Jonathan Taylor racking up 145 yards and 2 TDs on 14 carries. DT responded: “We really appreciate his prodigious output on such minimal attempts. We’re going to inspect his process and then implement it down the line such that Miles Sanders starts becoming relevant again. Please shop Razzball.com for your favorite merchandise and tell them Llama Mouth sent you.” Then the Zoom ended. So much for a free service! ENYWHEY.

Let’s check out the big performances from the Sunday slate in week 6 of fantasy football. 

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Oh I am so glad as a NFC Northerner to see my dear Vikings get demolished by [checks notes] Baker Mayfield. Longtime readers of my articles (Hi Mrs. Donkey Teeth!) know that I am not a fan of Baker Mayfield on the gridiron, although I think his commercials are on par with the fairer works of Chris Tucker. Mayfield, you’re so magnetic, why can’t I learn to love you?! ENYWHEY. My team played some of the least interesting football I’ve seen in years and your teams probably fared slightly better. How much better? Let’s check the scores!

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Ah, well. That was a rough week one. Some amazing games, spectacular moments, and lots of injuries. It’s always a bit of shell-shock from the offseason to week one, seeing all the guys you’ve salivated over (no innuendo intended) suddenly go down with an injury, erasing all the precious production you were waiting for. But this is football after all and injuries will happen. Profound right? Maybe not but whatever, you just want to know who’s gonna post those precious stats on the board, huh? You goddamned sicko? These are human beings! You just want that sweet, sweet fantasy advice, huh dirtbag?  Well, here it is!

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth discuss the happenings from week 1. We discuss the fallout from the Ryan Fitzpatrick injury for all of the WFT weapons. Does it help anyone potentially or is just an all around loss? Podcast favorite Jerry Jeudy is going to miss some time as well, and we talk about who our priority is among Tim Patrick and K.J. Hamler. The 49ers RB situation was already a mess and with the season ending Raheem Mostert injury, how do the guys think the backfield plays out for the rest of the season? The guys take a look at some of the pickups for the week and where we would have our priorities. 

We then move on to talk about some of the surprises from week 1. Austin Ekeler with 0 receptions and the shocking healthy scratches for Trey Sermon and Zack Moss. Speaking of complicated RB situations, the guys look at how they expect the Ravens backfield to play out. We then discuss some of the studs and duds from week 1 and whether we’re moving them around in our rest of season rankings. We finish the show with everyone’s favorite, A**hole of the week!

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Well, my precious goblins and ghouls, the football season is finally upon us. And naturally, with that, I have the grave responsibility to inform you fine specimens of the injuries that can and will impact your Week 1 fantasy rosters. 

Such is life. 

Let’s jump in and see who might be available on your waiver or can receive a bump in production from the gaps left by these poor, hurt souls. 

Shall we? 

The first injury to look at is… *checks notes* Oh the entire Ravens backfield. That’s not good! In just a few days the Ravens have lost their breakout star J.K. Dobbins, Justice Hill, and the most recently Gus Edwards to terrible season-ending injuries. In response, the team has signed Latavius Murray along with Le’Veon Bell and Devonta Freeman to their practice squad presumably to try to keep Lamar from having to rush approximately 10,000,000 yards per game. As of now, it looks like the Ravens are going to start the last running back left standing before the leg injury bloodbath, Ty’Son Williams, who might just have an opportunity against an uncertain Raiders pass rush under new defensive coordinator Gus Bradley and a reshaped defense. Look for Latavius Murray and Ty’Son Williams as a possible pick-up in leagues you might have had one of the injured fellows in and if you are feeling very adventurous maybe take a look at Le’Veon Bell or Devonta Freeman for a possible bounce-back campaign. I’m still not betting on that though, sorry Blair

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Ah, yes. We’re almost there folks.

Homestretch! 

In these final days before the beginning of regular season football, let’s take inventory and hear those glorious hot takes that we thrive on in these waning days of the offseason. And who better to direct your vitriol at than the ragamuffins here at Razzball while we walk through their boldest, most hot-blooded predictions for the coming season.  

Let’s hear from 13 of your favorite very handsome fantasy writers, shall we? 

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One of the things I value most whether it be in film, music, or literature, is originality. When you get a hold of something with a truly fresh concept, it is mind-blowing. I remember the first time I saw Robert Downey Sr.’s Putney Swope. I had never seen humor and satire done in such a confrontational and blunt manner. I was used to the kind of satire found in the early works of Mel Brooks and Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove. Incredible works on their own, but Putney Swope was truly another level for me. If you’ve never seen the film, it tells the story of the only minority executive member of an advertising firm, who is accidentally put in charge after the sudden death of the chairman of the board. Restricted by the company by-laws from voting for themselves, members voted by secret ballot for the one person they thought would never win: Putney Swope. It is hilarious, raw, and confronts the race issues of the late ’60s as I had never seen before. Originality is paramount when it comes to me consuming my content. That being said, today I am to talk about sleepers for this 2021 season.

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What is up everybody? I hope you’re ready to see some undrafted free agents and backups this weekend. Me, I don’t really get excited about that stuff. I’m not exactly a Campus to Canton guy. But you? Maybe you dig that first week of preseason football vibes. Just like pre-season baseball, it’s hard to take anything you see in pre-season football terribly seriously — we’re not seeing proper game script, we’re not seeing the first team on the field all the time, and more often than not, we’re just watching to see if teams want to keep their young players on the field or bring in a veteran to eat up some yardage. That said, I also know most “home leagues” are starting up, and you’re looking for the best players to take such that you can embarrass your friends and relatives and win their undying respect. So! Let’s take a look at some end-game players that could really change your season outcomes before the pre-season gets underway. 

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