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There isn’t much I have to say about last week’s slate of football games. I drank a lot of beer, ate a surplus of food, repeatedly swung a hammer at a stump, and dozed frequently enough for the entire experience to be a blur. Monday morning of this week was what I imagine seeing the light for the first time to be like. But as the week has gone on, the Thanksgiving hangover has worn off and now the month of December is officially upon us.

Six weeks of regular-season football remain. Unfortunately for my dear friend, New Jersey Nicholas, life as a Buffalo Bills fan has only worsened since the time of my last post. Now, we enter into a pivotal period for Nicholas and Bills mafia, as well as for all fantasy owners far and wide. It’s nearly playoff season. Things are heating up. Is this the time to make a gutsy call, or play it safe Week 13 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Come here, come all. I have a tale I would like to share with you. I have a dear, dear friend named Nicholas who is a Buffalo Bills fan, and currently lives in a furious state of ceaseless agony. Not because he’s from New Jersey, no. But because he now watches all Bills games alone at home, in the dark, covered in a thick, wool blanket while clutching a sofa cushion desperately across his breast. “I’m in a bad place right now,” he says to me more than on occasion. And unfortunately, matters have only worsened since we last encountered, dear Razzballers. Alas, my dear friend finds himself in the midst of a full-on frenzy, which has only clouded his ability to adequately manage his fantasy roster. In Week 10, he inadvertently left Tee Higgins at Flex in the heat of a ruthless playoff race. It’s mid-November. We’ve reached that point where frustrations, or even concentrations, may be coming to a boiling point, either in regard to your NFL team or your fantasy roster. If you’re 2-8, chances are your playoff hopes are over. But please, please, do not be a New Jersey Nicholas. Do not allow your desperation as a fan to impact your attention-to-detail as an owner. And with a little bit of extra analysis from this week’s column, you could be sitting purdy (which I reccomend in the column) on Sunday. Week 11 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Our trek through November football begins with the arrival of Week 9. Join me, dear Razzballers, on the lovely Mayflower as we voyage across the ocean in search of greener pastures and kinder kings. Perhaps if your season hasn’t gone as planned, you instead find yourself sailing behind us in the Nina, Pinta, or Santa Maria as you chase your fellow league-mates for playoff spots. And if the season has truly been a disaster, you may have already died of scurvy, pneumonia, or tuberculosis before we left the port. Indeed, the campaign’s midpoint is looming, and the decisions that lie ahead could be the ones that make or break your pursuit of a championship. This week, we’ll touch on 10 players in particular including bold opinions on Derek Carr, Emari Demercado, and DK Metcalf. Week 9 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Come here, Georgie! That should be you, doing your best Pennywise impression to lure George Pickens onto your roster and into your lineups as we Trick-or-Treat our way into Halloweekend and Week 8 of the NFL fantasy football season. You can watch as Georgie trudges down the flooded street to your sewage drain in his drenched Steelers raincoat. One piece of advice: if you want Georgie to perform this week, don’t bite off either of his arms before hauling him into your fantasy lair. Now that he’s in your grasp, we already know Pickens is on the plus-end of start vs. sit this week – but what about Dak Prescott, Joe Burrow, Chuba Hubbard, Calvin Ridley, Dalton Kincaid and more? Week 8 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Week 5: the National Football League embarks on the month of October. Spooky Szn. May your fantasy football matchup be filled with ghosts of Aaron Rodgers’ past and freshly carved Jack-Buck-o-Lanterns. This week, we’ll be diving into some particularly scary decisions, such as whether to throw Jonathan Taylor immediately into your lineup and whether or not you should wear fishnets as part of your Halloween costume this year. We’ll also run through crucial decisions regarding Jahmyr Gibbs and Romeo Doubs: are they starts or sits this week? Is it finally time to believe in Darren Waller? I’m no warlock or witch, but all the analysis and insight you need can be found in the words to follow. Week 5 Start vs. Sit begins right now.

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If you have spent any time reading this column, you know that it has been a tough year for the NFL’s Thursday Night Football. Luckily, that all changed this week thanks in part to the uber-talented rosters of the Atlanta Falcons and Carolina Panthers going head-to-head. There’s not much that gets a football fan’s blood boiling more than a querterback showdown of Marcus Mariota and PJ Walker, and running back rooms fronted by Cordarrelle Patterson and D’Onta Foreman. Add in five field goals in four quarters and you’ve got yourself an instant classic on primetime TV. Now, this wasn’t the worst game of the season, not by any stretch of the imaginiation. But top fantasy options like Patterson (2.5 half-PPR points), Kyle Pitts (3.8 points) and DJ Moore (4.9 points) all crapped the bed, while Foreman (19.0 points), Laviska Shenault (13.4 points) and Drake London (12.3 points) shined to varying degrees. Safe to say, this was not a joyous day for most fantasy owners. Memes portraying Mariota as a trash can in a squad car have surfaced, which is honestly an insult to garbage disposal devices everywhere. This game was really between the Splatlanta Fartcons and the Terdalina Pantnerds. And yes, that is really the best I could come up with. It’s clearly time for some deep introspection. 

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It’s that highly anticipated, glorious time of year where friends of all shapes and sizes come together, smash their laptops onto one dining room table, spread the chips, salsa and guac aimlessly around, and begin trash-talking and scheming to no end about one singular thing: season 23 of Big Brother. This is a time where fans of MTV’s The Challenge can begin scouting the next rookies that will soon join the Big Brother alliance, while simultaneously putting together their draft boards for their ensuing The Challenge draft pools. Oh, what a special time of year, and while it’s all going on, there are also a select few souls prepping for their upcoming football drafts, which I suppose is something we should mention at one point or another here on the fantasy football side of Razzball. And while I have plenty of tips on how to spot talent on the reality TV show front, I also came equipped today with five mid-to-late fantasy football draft steals for 2021. These are five players whose current ADPs I find particularly perplexing, but am happy about nonetheless, as it means I’ll have a surplus of shares of (most of) these players this upcoming season. So, who are they, and why should you be foaming at the mouth to snag them as a value at their current ADP? Let’s get to it.

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All season long, we’ve been grinding through the top-60 rest of season running backs. There has been a lot of turnover, an excess of movement both in and outside of the top-24, and a heck of a lot of injuries and COVID-19 to navigate around — both in the fantasy realm and the real world. But, alas, we’ve finally made it to Week 14. Hopefully, for many of you, this means the start of a successful playoff run, as Weeks 14-16 is when the vast majority of fantasy playoffs occur. For this very reason, I find myself feeling sentimental as I write this. At times, I led you stray, and at others, I did my job well. Now, as we leave the regular season behind and enter the postseason threshold, I have the opportunity to provide you with one last set of running back rankings as it relates to the 2020 season. In this final installment, I’ll be focusing on the set of matchups each running back faces over the next three weeks, as I’ve replaced the previous “bye” week component in the rankings with a look at each respective player’s “upcoming schedule.” And before you ask, yes — I do have David Montgomery ranked as a top-10 rest of season, fantasy playoff run option for that very reason, among others.

But before we get to the rest of that top 10, let’s take one final, albeit emotional trip around the league together. Feel free to bring a pack of Kleenex or, if you wish, simply deploy your own makeshift snot sleeve. Personally, I haven’t cried this hard since I said goodbye to my foreign exchange student in 10th grade. It was emotional. We played a lot of ping pong together. To fully appreciate this last ROS top-60 segment, I highly recommend playing the song “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. Blast it from the speakers as you digest the fickle words to follow.

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In a casual conversation with my future mother-in-law this past week, she adamantly described Derrick Henry as “sexy.” Now, I’m no expert on the perceived attractiveness of 6-foot-3, 250-pound behemoth running backs, but I do know one thing: there’s only one. There’s only one Derrick Henry, and as he approaches a fantasy playoff schedule as easy as hiding a piece of Thanksgiving stuffing in Matt Patricia’s beard at the end of No-Shave November, we’re likely to see history repeat itself yet again. Remember, Henry averaged 24.2 half-PPR points in his final five games of 2019, which was only slightly better than the 23.1 points he averaged across the final five games of 2018. Historically, Henry is stretch-run hero — a fantasy playoff superman in a class all his own. Even if Henry hadn’t erupted for 37.5 half-PPR points in Week 12, he would likely enter the Week 13 rankings as the RB1 overall, as an upcoming matchup with the Browns is the only thing that stands between him and a remaining schedule against the Jaguars, Lions, Packers and Texans. No matter how your league is structured, those matchups scream league-winning upside, and there’s no doubt in my mind Henry will again have a high ownership percentage on championship rosters. But, since Henry did pop off in Week 12, let’s unpack it: 27 carries, 178 yards, three rushing touchdowns; two receptions (four targets), seven yards. All three of Henry’s rushing touchdowns came in first half, as he legitimately provided three healthy weeks of fantasy value in a single half. Now I understand the “sexy” part. 

While Henry is up to RB1 this week, there’s a lot of other movement on the top-60 list and, as always, an overwhelming amount of injury updates to digest. So, before we get to the rankings, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

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Frank Reich is a fine man. A good man, even. Sometimes, I sit around daydreaming, wondering what it would be like if he were my father. He would no-doubt instill many wholesome values in me, his son, and be a great fishing partner. He simply has that look about him — the one that comes with a Geppetto-eque twinkle in one’s eye — that exudes wisdom and level-headedness. Personally, I believe he’s a tremendous football coach, perhaps one of the most underrated in the entire league. The Indianapolis Colts are incredibly fortunate that Josh McDaniels spurned their head coaching offer back in the February of 2018 to remain with New England, leading to Reich landing the job as a sort of second choice candidate at the time. Since then, he’s done wonders with the team and carries many strengths as the man in charge, but he’s largely been a fantasy enemy to this point — especially as it relates to the running back position. That’s because he treats his backfield like a true father figure would: he believes in all of his backs, especially the young Jonathan Taylor, and is always willing to give dish out a second chance. The issue is… it’s hard to predict when those second chances are going to come. Heading into the week, Nyheim Hines was one of the highest risers up most rest-of-season rankings after receiving 12 carries in Week 10, rushing for 70 yards and one touchdown in addition to his typical receiving workload: five receptions for 45 yards and another touchdown. Jonathan Taylor saw just seven carries in that game, to which he translated to a mere 12 yards, which came on the heels of a Week 9 game in which Reich gave Taylor a measly six carries. Fast-forward to Week 11: Taylor rushed 22 times for 90 yards, also catching four passes (on four targets) for 24 yards. Those 22 carries equated to 68.8% of running back carries (22/32), as his 26 total touches were by far the highest amongst the Indy trio. Jordan Wilkins (four carries, 21 yards; one reception on one target, 15 yards) touched the ball just five times, while Hines (six carries, two yards; three receptions on four targets, 31 yards) registered nine touches. It’s certainly encouraging to see Taylor so involved in a crucial, competitive game that the Colts ultimately won in exciting fashion — but what can we expect from him moving into the home stretch of the 2020 fantasy football season?

After sinking to RB30 overall in my rankings last week, Taylor is back up into RB2 territory thanks in large part to an incredibly easy schedule from here on out. The only truly difficult matchup remaining for Taylor will come in Week 16 against the Steelers, which isn’t ideal as it’s when most fantasy championships will occur, but until then he’ll go up against the Titans, Texans, Raiders and Texans, again. There are certainly RB2 options with safer floors, but Taylor is once again trending up and represents a much more attractive Flex play than he did one week ago.

There’s a lot more to dive into this week, so before getting to the rankings, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

Please, blog, may I have some more?