Week 2 Review

In the interest of full disclosure I’m going to review some of my good and bad calls each week. I have no shame in admitting when I’ve made a bad call — if I was right 100% of the time I’d be living like Biff Tannen!

Good Calls:

Start Philip Rivers: 17.9 points

Sit Isaiah Crowell: 3.7 points

Sit Pierre Garcon: 5.6 points

Sit Patriots D/ST: -2 points

 

Bad Calls:

Start Jared Goff: 10.9 points

Sit Carlos Hyde: 17.3 points

Sit Dez Bryant: 18.9 points

Sit Travis Kelce: 24.3 points

Week 2 had some mixed results, but I’m confident in my start/sit picks for this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Riverboat Ron

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sorry, drinking has already started because today is the day. Today is the day football starts! Yeah, I know that you know, but I wanted you to know that I know because I now know that you know. And that’s when my computer exploded. Regardless, not only does the debut of football bring us, you know, football, I also get to debut my beloved Live Game Day Threads. A place where we can hang out, enjoy some memes, discuss the games in front of us, and hopefully learn something. Like in this case, what a Siemian is and what it can do. To be honest, I could tell you better what it could do if one of those vowels were dropped. Like, any of them. But yes, if the GIF above or the just stated close-but-not-so-close sexual innuendo didn’t give it away (or even the title!), our first game of the year features two teams that have a long and storied rivalry dating back to… uh, well, one game. But, to be fair, that game was the Super Bowl (50, or as the Romans would say “L”), a game in which the Broncos defense carried Peyton Manning to another title so he could retire knowing he had one more ring than Tavaris Jackson. It’s important to have goals folks. And while I’m amazed that the NFC South was able to produce a team that actually knew what it was doing last year, an entire offseason has passed since these two franchises met. Will there be a different outcome? Well, unless they’ve figure out how to stop Von Miller, I doubt it… but to be fair, if I still have a Cam Newton combined with the return of Kelvin Benjamin led by the distinguished gentleman known as Riverboat Ro, alln going against a quarterback I hadn’t heard about until a week ago, I’d say your chances to win are preeeetty gooood. Sorry, I’m at the elongated vowels stage of alcohol poisoning…

Our Week 1 Rankings can be found here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Riverboat Ron

The Panthers? In prime time? WEIRD. I had just assumed that any prime time game featuring an AFC South team would be a battle between the Saints and the Saints. Unless those Saints were going against the Falcons. (Note: This does not include Thursday Night Football, which airs the Texans more times per year than the amount of Texans fans total), but lo and behold, the Panthers, sitting at a surprising 5-0 record and holding sole-ownership of the previously mentioned NFC South (which you could normally do with a 2-4 record in past years), Carolina will be hosting the very-innovative-except-when-they-aren’t-innovative Philadelphia Eagles. After a rough start to the season, the Eagles have rebounded somewhat, not by their own accord mind you, they’ve only rebounded because the Cowboys best players died earlier in the season and Washington and the Giants are doing their best impressions of themselves. It could have something to do with trading everyone away twice and then putting Sam Bradford at your quarterback position, but I’m just an innovative writer. Not so much an innovative coach…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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In what will be a showdown for the ages, with the context of said showdown being for first place in the dumpster fire known as the NFC South, seems as though it’s a perfect game to spotlight during Thursday Night Football, a prime time slot that has been utterly corrosive to our livers about 90% of the time. Or maybe that’s just my liver. I love alcohol. What of it? After treating the Green Bay defense like tissue paper, Breesus and his disciples (see what I did there?) look to take on the fledgling Panthers. Fun fact: Every team in this division is fledgling. Except Tampa Bay. They’re just terrible. Coming into the season with what was supposed to be an elite defense, Carolina has given up at least 37 points four times in the past five games. But they did hold Seattle to 13 points, proving that Seattle’s offense is kinda sh*tty. That being said, Cam Newton still has some room to grow, and DeAngelo Williams is back in time for this game, just to get injured again. So, uh, yeah, should be one of those games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I honestly can’t tell you why the Steelers are getting the Sunday Night Football treatment, it’s like this is 2008 or something, especially on a day where there was a rematch of 48 (XXLLVXLIIIX32jlsg84dfg as the Romans called it). But we get to see Big Ben HARF HARF HARF his way through a game against Cam Netwon and his wonder ribs. Which makes me hungry for ribs. Much was said in the preseason about how Cam Newton’s receiver core was a downgrade. I believed the talk a little bit, seeing as how he didn’t have an eligible receiver join the team up until a few months ago. All kidding aside, I wouldn’t say that the receiver corps has downgraded too much, and Greg Olsen is still there to make my projections pee a little, so really, I would call Carolina an average to an above average NFL football team. Which means the Steelers should only lose by, like, four touchdowns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?