After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

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I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween and you get to pick out the good stuff from your kids’ candy bag. Man, even if you don’t have kids, I hope you bought the kind of candy that YOU like to hand out to trick-or-treaters. Two for me, one for you. That’s how this works. I spent my Halloween by drinking beers in my friend’s garage while the kids went out into the world, but after that, I took a private jet to the first annual mid-season Razzballies. It was a glorious event and all of the best and worst of fantasy football came out. Ezekiel Elliott was there in a cutoff shirt. Dwayne Bowe received a lifetime achievement award. Each winner received a different phallic trophy that was uniquely designed by our own Donkey Teeth. I made it just in time to catch all of the major awards and here is what I saw.

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Remember when in-season trades never happened in the NFL? That was so, so, so long ago. This season we have had several notable players moved ranging from all-pro defensive backs to noted aerospace engineers (Josh Dobbs). However, the trade of Emmanuel Sanders has opened the opportunity for Courtland Sutton to continue his rise to fantasy glory. Sutton had already made a second-year jump prior to the trade and is currently sitting as the WR12 in half-PPR leagues. Sutton’s metrics support his rise to prominence with his player profiler athletic comparison being Alshon Jeffrey. He is 9th in weighted opportunities, top 20 in air yards, and top 20 in targets per game. His quarterback already stinks out loud so any mid-season change to a rookie, if Drew Lock were to get healthy, should have a minimal effect on his rest of season play. Expect the Denver Broncos to remain generally pesky as they fulfill a 5-6 win team destiny, and their air game to funnel through Courtland Sutton for the remainder of the 2019 season.

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The biggest story line coming out of Thursday night will be Patrick Mahomes’ knee. From the sounds of it as I write this, there isn’t a fracture to go along with the dislocated kneecap so that is not the worst news in the world if you depend on Mahomes in fantasy football.

I’ve started writing this at the end of the 3rd quarter. At this point the Broncos are lifeless and Flacco has been sacked 7 times. Nevermind, now it’s 8. Flacco is a corpse out there with zero mobility and the offensive line is not doing him any favors.

I saw this game going quite a bit differently. I thought that Denver had all of the momentum coming into this game off of two straight wins and KC with two straight losses. These teams were playing on 4 days rest and Denver’s roster was a lot healthier coming into the game. Kansas City can’t stop the run and coming into the game, they only had 11 sacks on the season. It turns out that this Denver offense is completely lethargic and unprepared.

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The entire Jets offense was giddy when Sam Darnold strolled into the locker-room Sunday carrying his vintage Coca-Cola bottle. After four weeks of quarantine with the kissing disease, Darnold was ready to play games with his favorite group of guys. First, the young QB locked eyes with Robby Anderson (5 catches for 125 yards and his 1st touchdown) for a juicy 92 yard score. Next he played touch and squeeze with Ryan Griffin (3 catches for 28 yards and his 1st touchdown). Even Le’Veon Bell (14 carries for 50 yards and his 2nd touchdown) snuck into the circle and gave the bottle a twirl. Sammy Big D went 23/32 for 338 yards and 2 touchdowns in his triumphant return as the Jets upset the Cowboys. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

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Falcons are a protected species in the United States, but over in India they actually have an annual two-week falcon hunt where thousands upon thousands of falcons are massacred each year. It was on a pilgrimage to the Taj Mahal that Will Fuller developed a taste, or rather an addiction, to these beautiful birds of prey. So when the Falcons glided into Houston on Sunday, they never stood a chance against the bloodthirsty Fuller as he went off for 217 yards on 14 catches with his first 3 touchdowns of the season. The Texans wide receiver will now go into hiding for several weeks as the authorities attempt to track him down for his foul treatment of the fowl. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

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I’ll be honest… I haven’t paid much attention to rest of season rankings in my fantasy football playing time. So when MB asked me to rank the top 80 flex players the rest of the way it was a new adventure for me. Often times when you do something new it brings an entirely new perspective to the entire process. With that in mind when I finished my list the first thing I did was check to compare to the industry. The differences I found most significant are listed below and I will continue to call those major differences out with an explanation and blurb on a weekly basis. Hopefully you find these rest of season rankings useful and it can stir up some discussion. These rankings are without QBs and based on half PPR setting in a standard 1 QB/2 RB/2-3 WR/1 Flex league. The rankings shouldn’t necessarily be used for a trade value chart, they are a combination of past success and current situation to quantify a future value in my eyes. Use that mindset and apply that value to your team’s current context in terms of league standings and roster construction before making any transactions.

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There was a wide variety of projected outcomes for the early games on Sunday. Most of the games had a spread of less than a touchdown and then there were two games with home favorites of 20+ points. Nothing was really a surprise from the standpoint of the scoreboard, but there is always a lot of fantasy tidbits to break down. Going forward, I will be covering the early slate, while Donkey Teeth will be taking care of the later games. In this format, we both can focus on individual games instead of jumping around from player bullet point to player bullet point. We can start with one of the more exciting games for more than one position that took place in Minnesota.

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When P&E came into my clinic today I rushed them into my office and closed the door. “Let’s get right down to business” I said, opening up their chart. “The bye week was not kind to you” I mourned as their faces dropped.

“But how?! No one played a game for us!” I had to gently explain that even though their fantasy team was on bye, the real NFL players still had to suit up. Devin Singletary once again showed his incredible efficiency scoring 11.7 fantasy points on just 6 touches. Unfortunately this performance was wasted on the bye week and what’s worse is that he pulled up lame with a hamstring.

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This AFC Divisional bout is slated as the highest point total in week 2. Initially opening on Monday morning as the 2nd highest point total. But following Oaklands offensive display on prime-time Monday Night Football against a loaded defensive Denver team, Vegas bumped the line on the KC/OAK matchup to the top dog. Passing up the 2017 NFC championship re-match, NO @ LAR.

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