Hello everyone, and welcome back to the second post in my ADP Preview series, where I’ll be taking a look at many different players and their subsequent ADP data to give Razzball readers a sense of which players I like at their price, which players I do not like at their price, and other draft strategy that I believe is essential for drafts this fall.

We are almost in July, and while we still have between 5 to 6 weeks before Training Camp officially begins, it’s still a great idea to figure out our draft strategies and what players we’ll be targeting in each round.

So let’s get to it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In a shocking turn of events Thursday afternoon, the NFL world learned of Julian Edelman’s very likely suspension of 4 games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing drugs.

The Patriots aren’t too foreign to the concept of their star players being suspended for 4 games, so let’s dive into what this suspension means for the Patriots, but more importantly, fantasy owners come draft time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While all the coaches posed for a picture in Orlando at the league meetings, Bill Belichick was once again absent. He was somewhere hunched over and scowling about the Patriot’s bitter Super Bowl defeat and thinking about how he can get the most bang for his buck for the 2018 roster. Anger continues to build as he continues to accept that the Eagles flat out built a better roster than he had. “We’re onto roster building.”

I was listening to the Will Cain show on my way home from work as I am often forced to because I’m too lazy to sync my phone to blue tooth sometimes. “It’s a short drive, I can handle it.” That what I tell myself as William babbles aimlessly about his opinions on sports. All of a sudden, my ears perked up as he was talking to a guest about trading Rob Gronkowski. I didn’t catch the guests’ name but he brought up how the Patriots tend to go with the element of surprise when it comes to trades. Before the Patriots traded Brandin Cooks to the Rams on Tuesday, this guy had already dismissed the possibility of Gronkowski being traded. Trading Cooks makes me believe that the Patriots want to keep Gronkowski around for 2018. It doesn’t make sense to trade both of your best weapons in the passing game in one offseason.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Eagles won the Super Bowl! Of course, America wins in the battle of the most patriotic mascots in the NFL. I think that the best part is that the Patriots got beat without any fluky helmet catches and by a quarterback not named Eli Manning. BDN Foles (deconstructed abbreviation NSFW) put together his second straight clutch performance for the Eagles. The RPOs, the beautiful RPOs. They’re so hot right now. It’s like if the wildcat was sustainable and effective. When it was all said and done, it was a great season finale of NFL Football. It was right on par with any Breaking Bad finale and much better than the latest season finale of Game of Thrones.

Speaking of prestige television, did you cry when you saw how Jack died? Yes, you did. You bawled harder than your wife and she had to hold you while you sobbed. Don’t pretend you didn’t stay after the game for This Is Us. Westworld and This is Us, be a guy who can enjoy both. Or don’t, there’s more to strive for in life. Reading about fantasy football in February is a great start! About a week and a half ago, I covered quarterbacks and running backs, so you should check that out. It’s time to put the 2017 season in the past once and for all with reviewing the wide receiver and tight end positions.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So yeah, I get it, the title is a bit overused in today’s parlance with the bizarre yet hypnotizing Adult Swim “horror-comedy-90’s sitcom” experience bringing the idiom back into style. Combined with the fact that I’d faint if you told me that this headline hadn’t been used by any other football writer before today when referring to Brandin Cooks (seen above with the 11-yard touchdown)… yeah, that saying’s been here before. But how apt! How meta I say! Because that’s exactly how I felt about last night’s prime time rematch of last year’s Super Bowl (did you know? You’d think they would mention that at least once last night!) that 95% of the Northeast tuned out of in the third quarter. There was some horror, some comedy, and of course Bill Belichek carries the whole 90’s sitcom vibe all by himself… but ultimately, it seemed to be a game that’d we’d all seen before and we were all the worse for it. And sure, while it might have been the Falcon’s gameplan all along, to give the Patriots a 23-point lead only to start a miraculous comeback of their own… problem was, the comeback never came and the Falcons looked about as good in the first three quarters yesterday as they did in the last quarter in the aforementioned Super Bowl. But there was fog! And lots of it! (I can’t find confirmation if it was coming out of Cris Collinsworth’s or Bob Costas’ mouth.) So instead of calling this a Super Bowl rematch, maybe we should call it the “Trent Green Bowl”? Kind of an “NFL’s concept” of what it’s like travelling through Trent Green’s head. You know, minus the purple bears and robot unicorns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Image result for home dogs

Week 3 was a crazy, crazy week. Thanks Trump! I kidd. Blake Bortles, Case Keenum, and Eli Manning all threw for at least three touchdowns, with Bortles throwing four! The Jets dominated. It gets crazier, though. Eight of the games on Sunday had the road teams as favorites. The Jaguars, Colts, Bears, Jets, Bills, and Redskins all took care of business at home. Bow wow wow yipee yo yipee ya! Home dogs! The Lions should have won and the Chargers…well, just scroll down to the recap of that game and all will become clear.

The 2017-2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues for Basketball are now open. Get more info and join here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 2 Review

In the interest of full disclosure I’m going to review some of my good and bad calls each week. I have no shame in admitting when I’ve made a bad call — if I was right 100% of the time I’d be living like Biff Tannen!

Good Calls:

Start Philip Rivers: 17.9 points

Sit Isaiah Crowell: 3.7 points

Sit Pierre Garcon: 5.6 points

Sit Patriots D/ST: -2 points

 

Bad Calls:

Start Jared Goff: 10.9 points

Sit Carlos Hyde: 17.3 points

Sit Dez Bryant: 18.9 points

Sit Travis Kelce: 24.3 points

Week 2 had some mixed results, but I’m confident in my start/sit picks for this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome, everyone, to the first chapter of the story in which the Patriots win yet another Super Bowl.

Wait, what’s that?

They lost the opener? To Andy Reid? And Alex Smith? (Laughs for nine hours. Stops to breathe. Laughs another nine hours. Another inhale. Sleeps for six hours. Rinse and repeat.) So yeah, football’s back guys. And with it came the usual hour-and-a-half pregame show that generally felt like 127 hours while also at the same time watching the ending of 127 Hours for 127 hours straight. (If I ctrl-effed “hours” right now, my monitor would light up like a Christmas tree.) So of course NBC Sunday Night Football would premier on a Thursday, it’s still a “day”, am I right? Bob Costas looked even more like a shambling corpse than last year. Tony Dungy looked as much like Nosferatu as he ever has. And then we were treated by a Marky Mark recap of last season’s Patriots Super Bowl win, with all the unnecessary lording over that would entail. I was actually surprised he was able to inform us of what happened in the fourth quarter since he checked out in the third with the rest of New England, but the fact remains that only the Patriots could show up a team which they have no rivalry with like it was a team full of Mangini’s.

The actual game itself began in prototypical fashion, with the continued slow evolution of Alex Smith turning in Rex Grossman, a human being who would actually look better if he had cauliflower ear. Think about it. And then there was Kareem Hunt with his first carry as a professional…

Please, blog, may I have some more?