Since time immemorial tight ends have perplexed the world. We all know you want an end that’s tight, but how tight is too tight? The great Albert Einstein tackled this enigma with his theory of relativity, where he concluded Darren Waller epitomizes the perfect balance of tightness and plumpness in the end department. And who is Donkey Teeth to argue with genius Einstein? Waller’s an adonis of a man, and well endowed too.

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When Heath Cummings of CBS Fantasy Sports asked me if I’d be willing to participate in his 20 round industry dynasty superflex startup mock draft, I had to check my schedule. My Kerryon Johnson stalking schedule that is. Between that and working up my 2020 fantasy football rankings I was booked solid. Fortunately, the bushes outside Kerryon’s house are pretty comfortable and I cracked the Johnson’s wifi password months ago. So it was all systems go for this 12 team PPR dynasty superflex startup mock draft, see the full results here. Anyway, here’s the team I came away with:

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Dr. Donkey Teeth and The Boof, aka Ralph Macchio, are back on the YouTube talking fantasy football for your viewing pleasure. After discussing the BIG news of the week—Carlos Hyde signed with the Seahawks—the guys taking a stroll down memory lane, reminiscing about some of their favorite fantasy players from past years including Rob Gronkowski, Randy Moss and Antonio Brown. Later the Karate Kid opens up about his anxiety in regards to trading for running backs in dynasty leagues which leads to an in depth strategic discussion about how to approach the buying and selling of RBs in dynasty. Tune in and subscribe to our YouTube channel now!

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back with another podcast episode to discuss DT’s dynasty QB and TE rankings. They start with the QB position and discuss their different tendencies toward more rush heavy or pass heavy QBs in dynasty. Additionally, the guys talk their appetite for starting a dynasty roster with an elite QB and an elite TE, and which players would be worth taking early. 

B_Don brings up a few top 10 dynasty QBs for DT that they have differing opinions about their future. Starting with Kyler jumping up to 3, Josh Allen coming in at 6, and then Baker even being in the top 10 QBs. After we go through those 3, DT admits his love for the ‘stache while B_Don is less enamored with facial hair.  

At TE, we start with a discussion about whether Kittle belongs in his own tier as the sole elite dynasty TE. We check in on the second tier and discuss DT’s boy Waller and why he has him over Mark Andrews. Overall, the duo talk about the TE tiers and how they could be arranged. We go on to discuss the Bucs, Rams, and Jets TE situations, with varying opinions on where those TEs should fit in the rankings. 

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In my post-NFL Draft quest to update all of my 2020 dynasty rankings I’ve finally come to tight ends. And you know what I’ve always said about tight ends. Better than loose ends! Rob Gronkowski has the tightest of ends, and he wasn’t leaving any loose ends in his legacy with Brady. Weaving the Gronk into these rankings in the wake of his comeback wasn’t easy due to his wide range of outcomes. But as Big Daddy Kane once said, “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.” Anyway, here’s those sweet, sweet updated top 15 tight ends for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

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The 2020 tight end class lacks top end talent, but there were 5 players taken on day 2 which bodes well for future production. These will be my final off-season rankings now that we know landing spots and draft capital. For more background information, please check out my initial TE article for details on the players’ profiles and more of the process used to rank the position. 

The List!

Rank Movement Name Team  Draft Round
TE1 +1 Adam Trautman Saints 3
TE2 +1 Cole Kmet Bears 2
TE3 -2 Brycen Hopkins Rams 4
TE4 NR Devin Asiasi Patriots 3
TE5 NR Dalton Keene Patriots 3
TE6 +1 Colby Parkinson Seahawks 4
TE7 NR Josiah Deguara Packers 3

NOTE: There are no tiers for this list, as everyone is going to be a slow burn for fantasy relevance

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Over the past four weeks Tom Brady has been slowly settling into life in Tampa Bay, scouting retirement communities and getting to know his new Buccaneer teammates. On Monday young tight end O.J. Howard ate Brady’s spinach, arugula and GOAT cheese salad out of the team fridge while complaining about the lack of tomatoes. Howard then violated the quarterback’s 6-foot radius of personal space before coughing without covering his mouth. Enough was enough, it was time for Tom to dust off his trusty Gronk signal and shine the big man’s light into the balmy Florida night sky. And Rob Gronkowski wasted no time in answering the call of his old friend. By Tuesday afternoon Gronkman had been traded from the Patriots with a 7th-round pick in exchange for the the Buccaneers 4th-round pick.

Gronk battled injuries from 2016-2018 missing 13 games over his final three seasons prior to his early-retirement. He also looked quite slimmed down during his 2019 public appearances. That said, you can’t help but root for the big boy, and a year of rest and relaxation likely did his overworked body some good. Off the bat, I’ll pencil him in as my #7 tight end behind Kelce, Kittle, Waller, Ertz, Andrews and Hooper. And I’ll give him an initial projection of 50 receptions for 700 yards and 6 touchdowns with lots of upside (and downside) from there. Anyway, here’s what other news I saw around the league for 2020 fantasy football: 

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QB10 in fantasy scoring and QB2 in NFL passing yards through 4 weeks, Matt Ryan visits the Lone Star State in matchup carrying the tied-for-2nd highest point total in week 5. The 13th toughest fantasy defense against quarterbacks, the Houston D/ST unit look a lot tougher on paper than what I believe will be on display this Sunday. Two of Houston’s best defensive outings were against quarterbacks that entered the season as backups on their respective depth chart. Including 6th round rookie QB Gardner Minshew (JAC) in his first NFL start and 2nd year backup Kyle Allen (CAR) getting the 2nd start of his career. In Houston’s two matchups against top 10 NFL quarterbacks Drew Brees and Philip Rivers, the defense surrendered an average of 327.5 passing yards per game, QB12 (Brees) and QB13 (Rivers) fantasy finishes, and 4 total passing touchdowns. After nearly topping 400 yards passing (397) last week, Matt Ryan failed to pass for a TD against TEN. This is a prime bounce back spot for Matt Ryan to find the endzone through the air in a game where ATL are -4.5 underdogs and an implied score that includes 3 TDs for the Falcons. Rudy projects Ryan as the QB8 this weekend. 

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We are three days into #SFB9 and my 1.06 pick of James Conner is highlighted as a ‘notable’ pick in the first round. Sign me up for a bell cow back that is projected to receive over 70% of the teams rushing attempts (RB3). He was RB6 in first downs last season, even after missing the last three games of the season, and had 9 games over 50 yards out of his 12 games played. No back with that high of their teams rushing % would be there for me at 2.07. Who did you take with your number 1 pick? What was the craziest 1st round pick in your #SFB9 division?

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We are one day away from draft night and I cannot wait. Who do you have your team taking with their first pick? If you are like me, you are consuming all of the NFL content to keep you satisfied until the regular season kickoff. Your teams have reported for offseason activities, the 2019 regular […]

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