Did you know that Rudy Gamble spent a full year at BBQ joints across the south and midwest studying to prepare the Pigskinonator? That’s dedication! Ultimately, pit bosses got wise to his tricks when he kept complaining about the “small sample size” of pulled pork he was getting. After his sojourn, Rudy returned to the nacho-cheese coated interior of Razzball Headquarters and developed the most advanced imaginary football management player performance predictor in existence: The Pigskinonator. Ultimately we had to get a restaurant permit because it turned out that Rudy really did roast a whole hog every time he ran the numbers. He said offers of roasted pork shoulder really appeased the fantasy football gods. Anywho. You should take a gander at the premium football offerings that Rudy provides because they’re legitimately the best way to think about whether you want to start Boston Scott or Nyheim Hines this week. Starting at $1 a week, you’re getting Rudy’s constantly updated weekly rankings, which account for, well, everything. If you’re into daily fantasy, check out the DFS option, which gives you an awesome lineup optimization tool that will make setting a competitive DFS lineup a breeze. On Rudy’s #1 projected lineup for the Thurs-Monday slate on DraftKings last week, I made nearly 300% return on investment. Whether it be your office league or DFS, all fantasy sports is about stacking the odds, and it’s good to have a tool in your belt that can help out in a pinch. 

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back to discuss the happenings in week 1, some possible situation changes, and go over @Al_FF_Red’s waiver wire article. After we compare our top picks with Boof’s top pickups, we go over some contract talk with Allen Robinson and RBs getting paid. Then, we get into our observations for week 1. 

We start at QB  with Kyler putting up points in week 1. Then, we look at some established QBs that struggled in Carson Wentz, Tom Brady, and Ryan Fitzpatrick and discuss our level of concern on each. 

Next, both hosts admit to being wrong on Clyde Edwards-Helaire. They discuss what takeaways there might be from that match up, and one of the hosts is slightly higher on him than the other. Austin Ekeler and Nick Chubb both disappointed in week 1 and we talk about some realistic expectations for the rest of the season.

The guys start the WR discussion by answering a listener question regarding D.J. Moore. Both of the hosts remain positive on Preston Williams before looking into the Giants WR breakdown. Is it Quintez Cephus time or was it just an adjustment sans Kenny Golladay? 

We wrap up the show on the back end with tight ends. B_Don asks DT if he’s ready to move Andrews into his elite tier at the position. The guys discuss some young TE performances from week 1 and look at the potential for trading and streaming the TE position early in the season as your competitors are scrambling and panicking. 

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[put on the chillhop radio station and just let it flow] 

Welcome everyone! It’s a privilege to have you here in the Year of the Bubble. No doubt you’ve been refreshing training camp vids and working on your Austin Ekeler-style abs for the past few months. Some of you have been following Razzball Football in the off-season the whole way and you have read every last word. Thank you! Some of you are coming out of fantasy football hibernation right now, and you’re looking for the best fantasy football content to help you win your (virtual) office league. Welcome back! 

Without further ado, let’s kickoff our weekly look at the Top 30 Quarterbacks!

Top 30 Quarterbacks Header

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As we head into draft season, everyone loves making their sleeper list and dreaming of being in on the next Austin Ekeler. However with all the chatter on social media and the endless stream of fantasy websites, “sleepers” have almost become extinct. There is no such thing as a mid-to-late round guy that no one is excited about. All your favorite sneaky plays are also your friends’ sneaky plays. Therefore you’ll have to reach up and take one a round early, which renders the pick less valuable.

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When Heath Cummings of CBS Fantasy Sports asked me if I’d be willing to participate in his 20 round industry dynasty superflex startup mock draft, I had to check my schedule. My Kerryon Johnson stalking schedule that is. Between that and working up my 2020 fantasy football rankings I was booked solid. Fortunately, the bushes outside Kerryon’s house are pretty comfortable and I cracked the Johnson’s wifi password months ago. So it was all systems go for this 12 team PPR dynasty superflex startup mock draft, see the full results here. Anyway, here’s the team I came away with:

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Quarantine Day 31:

 I sneezed yesterday and my girlfriend (still imaginary) kicked me out of our virus bunker. I’m now writing this from the back yard where I’m sheltering in place under my handmade wigwam shelter. Finally all of those episodes of Naked and Afraid are paying off. I’m not afraid out here but I am very naked. Hope the neighbors don’t mind. Actually, as a Bears fan I’m beyond afraid of our quarterback situation. Remember when the Bears drafted Trubisky over Mahomes and Watson? You do? Damn, was hoping that was just a bad dream! Anyway, here’s my top 40 quarterbacks for 2020 dynasty football: 

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It would be fun to play in a 60,000 person DFS tournament against 59,999 DFS equivalents of the Dallas Cowboys. The amount of chances that they’ve had to run away with the abysmal NFC Least and put the Eagles’ hopes away is ridiculous. It would be like if you drafted Kirk Cousins this week (don’t) with a huge expectation of his performance against Detroit, and though he didn’t perform up to par, the other 59,999 teams chose either Devlin Hodges, or Gardner Minshew, or Eli Manning (don’t take them, either) and just begged you to stay in the running.

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Clap once if your owner is sick of your sh*t. Clap twice if you got washed at home by Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills on Thanksgiving. Clap ferociously if the Miami Dolphins kept you in the division race!! Jason Garrett needs to send 100 Christmas gift baskets to DeVante Parker’s home. All of the lotions, candy canes, Starbucks special blends, hot chocolate, maybe even a Visa gift card or two. 

DeVante Parker’s career was looking dead in the water after 4 disappointing seasons as a first round draft pick from the great University of Louisville that lost me money this weekend against Kentucky. DeVante Parker has completely turned it around in 2019. In fact, he is now an every week fantasy football starter and it’s not close going into the playoffs. Parker is easily on pace for his first 1,000 yard season and his previous career high was 744. Parker is just 4 receptions short of his previous career high and already has 2 more touchdowns than his previous highest mark. 

There’s definitely a possibility that Adam Gase is the match that lit the dumpster fire that were his first 4 seasons. In fact, it’s most likely a large factor. Playing with Ryan Fitzpatrick has also most likely been a game changer for Parker. Also, Brian Flores just seems like a delight to play for. He cares, you can tell. I picked up on this during their Monday Night Football game against the Steelers. It’s a totally different culture in Miami. And sometimes, a different culture is what a player needs, even if a change to a different squad doesn’t happen. Here is what else I saw in the early slate on Sunday. 

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