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Tehol’s Rankings: Top-200 (Standard)| Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR) | RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR) | WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR) | TE (PPR) | K | DST | Top-50 Rookies

Greetings! How are things? Caught your teenage daughter was making smut films? No worries, the Lord’s wide receiver ranking are here for you, hand delivered on ruby-encrusted silver platter by my man-servant, Ralph Lifpshitz. Tis’ true, not only does he hand feed me grapes, but he stole my whole style and became a popular writer here at the site! I’m so proud; I now smile like a proud father watching his only son that made it. With that being said, I’ve been receiving (no pun intended… haha, oh, that’s really not funny) countless requests for my wideout rankings, as there are obviously many of you doing your drafts early. Why, I have no clue, but that’s what ya’ll do, so I’m going to give this to you hard and raw, like you were a Kardashian, backstage at a Black Panther Party award ceremony. Say one thing for the Kardashians, they love African-American sausage, and can you really blame them? Look at the size of those things!

Speaking of long-donged young men, I love Sammy Watkins this season! Absolutely adore him, yes I do! After he complained about not getting the targets he felt he deserved last season, Watkins was force fed balls like George Michael at a highway rest stop, and just like Georgie, Watkins inhaled those balls and looked like a top-5 receiver the rest of the way. I like him to finish in the top-7 and, possibly, the top-5. Grab him everywhere you can. You gotta have faith.

Also, please check out my weekly video show with Andy Singleton and the Fantasy Doctor, Duke University M.D. Selene Parekh. Below are the first two episodes, the first of which has the two men who finished in the top-5 of FantasyPros rankings. Jay and I are coming for their heads in 2016. At least Jay, that is. You’ve got to be realistic about these things…

Please don’t mind the fact my face is flipped, making me look funnier than usual. I have the higher ups working on it as I won’t be filmed like this again…

I am Tehol Beddict and these are my wide receiver rankings. Take heed!