FanDuel, Week 3: A Bridge Over Water

Week 2 is in the books. After a week filled with injuries (don't matter in DFS), dramatic finishes, and 108-yard kickoff return touchdowns, it is time to review last week. Both Johnny Manziel and Jameis Winston both got their first ever victory. And I told Shannon that she doesn't understand how good of a partner I am, and yes, I am taking the dogs and the truck, and I will go to New York, for broadway, where I shall become a star. We all won last week. And hey, the Patriots won. Oh, and the Badgers manhandled Troy. But you already knew that... New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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Disgrace and Delight, Week 3: The Philadelphia Schmiegel’s

September 23, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football | 133 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! I've just now pulled myself out of the filthy pit of wretchedness that losses from MY Seattle Seahawks and MY Buffalo Bills placed me in. Well, them and the mass quantities of drugs and alcohol partnered with 12,000 calories of ribs, cupcakes, and peach cobbler I made for myself and all my guests on Sunday. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he's a binger. Anyways, speaking of wretched pits of despair, I'm curious to know how Philadelphia Eagles fans are feeling at this moment in time. Prized free agent running back DeMarco Murray has been useless thanks to an offensive line being treated like Donald Trump, if he were to show his face at a "Mexican Lives Matter" rally. Sam Bradford resembles a teenage girl in shoulder pads and I feel like it's just a matter of time before he goes down like a Kardashian at a Grammy's after-party. And big-money free agent Byron Maxwell has been toasted so many times thus far, I believe he'd need to hold the opposition catchless for the remainder of the season in order to receive a positive grade from all the professional scouts out there. Chip Kelly is still looking for "his precious", a quarterback that can flourish in his system (preferably an agile one), and it doesn't seem like he's going to discover it anytime soon being that they're going up against Darrelle Revis and that vastly improved Jets secondary in Week 3. Maybe some wizard-protected Hobbit is boguarding the secret treasure that Kelly has seemingly lost in 2015, but unless he's able to see invisible beings, he just may be out of luck. Maybe a couple extra kale smoothies will fix everything, but this has the look of a total dumpster fire. FIRE EVERYONE! I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

Through the Wire, Week 3: The QB-pocalypse

September 22, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Waiver Wire | 121 Comments

by: Geoff

We're only two weeks into the season Razzscallions and the QB-pocalypse is upon us. Much to the dismay of many a fantasy player, several top 12-ish quarterback options came down with somewhat significant injuries. Throwing a major road block into the grandiose plans of those with early leads coming out of the one o'clock games. Seriously marinate on that for a sec. How many managers rolling out one o'clock heroes like Antonio Brown, Jamal Charles, Dion Lewis, Gronk, and Julian Edelman were counting victories going into the four o'clock game with Tony Romo at QB? Literally tons! At work today, 2-3 of my coworkers came into "The Lifshitz's" office looking for guidance on replacing Romo. That's right, yours truly is an actual functioning member of society when I'm not filling the pages of three Razzball sites. (Speaking of which, go check out some real Fútbol over on RazzSoccer). Two of the three coworkers were in your standard 12-team PPR leagues, so there were plenty of viable options available (Tygod all day sun!), but the third coworker was in a slightly more difficult predicament... Co-worker number three, we'll call him, is in a 14-team 2-QB league, and owns Romo WITH Brees. (YIKES!) He obviously came into the season with a major advantage, but here's the problem, he has Jameis Winston as his third stringer and even Johnny Manizel is already owned. Shizzzzz, I'm freaking out just reading this. So what does this chap need to do? Who the hell can he pickup? Well Co-Worker number three, this one's for you. Here are your Wavier Wire adds for Week 3 in Fantasy Football...

Bear or Bull: SuperCAM

September 22, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 60 Comments

by: Son

If you didn't see Cam Newton flip over a defender, get hit in the back while in the air, then stick the landing... kind of... for a touchdown in Jay's Sunday recap, then you are probably a commie. Since we live in the Land of the Free! and the Home of the Brave!, where access to the internet is... free? Okay, screw the capitalists! Viva la revolution! I'll shut up and just show it again for all those who missed it...

Colts the New Jets

September 22, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 119 Comments

by: Jay

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This game, in a nutshell.[/caption] In what was another snore fest that Monday Night Football can sometimes (almost all the time) be known for (at least as much as Thursday Night Football games can be), let me tell you, this one met that mark. And then surpassed it by innumerable. The first three quarters (and the last five minutes of regulation in the fourth quarter) lived up to the hype that I'm sure could have only been matched by a local mattress store Labor day commercial: a slow, cheesy, and clunky experience, which seems wholly natural as that basically describes Indianapolis, where science has taught us that rolling is the most popular form of transportation. In fact, for the first three quarters, I'm not sure sure either team's offense understood what the game of football is or what it does. In this battle of attrition (for the viewers too), the Jets gained the upper hand, convincing me enough that both teams had probably switched uniforms before game time and decided to see who could perform the poorest. Suffice it to say, the Colts won that face off. Or do the Jets technically win there? I have no idea, all I know is that we lost. But, as I did mention earlier, the entire game wasn't completely devoid of events resembling football. Some offense did occur in spurts, though it was mainly concentrated at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Alas, it was too late by then, there was little this game could accomplish to offset the damage done to everyone. The previous four interceptions and three fumbles (six of the turnovers were happily donated by the Colts), and struggling to figure out who the ef Quincy Enunwa was ended up being the line for me. Monday Night Football folks... Oh, hey, the Jaguars are now in first place, something that hasn't occurred since the lovely year of 1462. So that happened... New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Monday Night Football Live Thread, Week 2: Jets vs. Colts

September 21, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 71 Comments

by: Jay

Breaking News: There is a report coming out that states Drew Brees has a torn rotator cuff and will miss the rest of the season. (There are now other reports being released that he'll be out for "several" weeks or miss no time at all...) As of this writing, nothing has been confirmed yet, but if the original report is true, then the entire Saints offense takes a huge hit, especially Brandin Cooks and Brandon Coleman. It would have affected Marques Colston, but he's been dead for two years. More importantly though, this news will give us a Sunday Night Football Week 4 match-up between Brandon Weeden and Luke McCown. Oh boy. Tonight on Monday Night Football, Todd Bowles has the chance to start the season with a 2-0 record. What other Jets coaches have started 2-0, pray tell? Well, Weeb Ewbank didn't do that back in 1963, but I believe an Ewok in Return of the Jedi was named after him. In the great (lol) history of the New York Jets, you have to go just a mere few decades back when in 1994 (gasp) Pete Carroll accomplished that feat. He then went 6-10 and got fired. Al Groh went 4-0 in 2000 (after Bill Belichick abruptly resigned), finishing the season 9-7, missing the playoffs. And then, of course, Rex Ryan started 3-0 in 2009 where they lost the AFC Conference Championship to the Colts. I think it was because Mark Sanchez was overweight at the time. After all, the defense just got too tired carrying him all season. Fast forward to present time (I know it's hard for Andrew Luck to adjust from the paleolithic period) and we might have a Jets team that is capable of not being the Jests, if you know what I mean. Going against a Colts team that many favored to walk into the playoffs (mostly because Luck's back has a caveman's width to carry such things) and beating them would confirm that these are not, in fact, your run-of-the-mill-sh*t-the-bed Jets that we've come to love and pity. Or at least it would confirm that they are waiting until midseason to spiral into the abyss. So until then!

The Cowboys Won the Battle But Lost the War…

September 21, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 75 Comments

by: Jay

Well folks, I promised NFC East derp yesterday afternoon, but the derp levels that were given are almost too much to bear, even a day later. So much derp in fact, that I'll get to tell my grandchildren about how I was there for the (second, or maybe third, could be technically the fourth I guess) epoch of Brandon Weeden. In what was a 6-3 football game essentially (without a special teams touchdown) in the first 40 minutes of regulation, it wasn't quite football, but wasn't quite baseball either. What it was exactly, I can't quite describe. If I had to give some sort of concrete answer, I would probably call it a nuclear weapons test. I will say this, as was alluded to earlier with one Brandon Weeden, the epoch began immediately after Tony Romo suffered a fractured clavicle bone (on the play shown above). Along with the news that Dez Bryant's timetable for a return is murky now at best, this game still probably ended up more demoralizing for the Eagles. True, even with an existential outlook, you could say that the Cowboys lost the first two games they actually won (SO EFFING DEEP), but the Eagles look almost too innovative to be playing football at this point. If Romo (and by extension, Bryant) are out for an extended period of time (likely), and you combine that with the Giants doing very Giants like things, the Eagles have basically ceded the division to Washington. HAHAHAH. But don't worry, Chip Kelly is still a genius. Totally. Here’s what else I saw in Week 2 (with bonus Week 2 knee-jerk reactions to the knee-jerk reactions I had in Week 1. WOOOO!)… New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Sunday Night Football Live Thread, Week 2: Seahawks vs. Packers

September 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 28 Comments

by: Jay

In what is probably one of the most anticipated match-ups involving teams that made the playoffs last season, the Seahawks travel to the legendary (ALLEGEDLY) Lambeau Field, made famous in history because of an old white dude who waxed poetic war metaphors into sweet Twitter like statements about football and wore a Fedora dominated a league that had a total of like three teams. But, to be fair, at least the Packers have a long and, well, we'll call it robust, they have a robust football history. The Seahawks have had a Super Bowl stolen from them, a terrifically easy and boring Super Bowl win over the Broncos, and then the tainting of that win with a redzone disaster against the Patriots in last year's Super Bowl. Matt Hasselbeck is mixed in a bunch in there too. All in about 15 minutes time, contextually speaking. Thus enters our game for Sunday Night Football, a newly-storied franchise, trying desperately to defend the right's of rich hipsters everywhere (they just want an unlimited selection of microbrew and kale chips maaaaaaaan), going against an old school franchise that's owned by the cheese-riddled blue collar people of the Midwest (all three of them), led by a coach, in Mike McCarthy, that will stop at nothing to make Aaron Rodgers as irrelevant as he can while kicking as many field goals as he can. Should be fun guys!

Late Games Live Thread, Week 2

September 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 41 Comments

by: Jay

Countless times you and I have spoken about the NFC East derp levels, only because these levels are affecting our lives faster and more pronounced than that of global warming and Donald Trump's hair thingamajig. But with Washington looking somewhat competent today, and I say "somewhat" just for the mere fact that I'm so surprised of said competency (focused mainly in the first half), that I'm not even sure it actually happened. It could all be made up! But regardless, even with the Giants doing sorta what the Giants do, it's fair to say our normal derp levels are running low, here comes the Dez Bryantless Cowboys and the always innovative (except when they are super innovative) Eagles, here to quench our derp-thirst. Which sounds like a great name for a porno blooper reel.

Early Games Live Thread, Week 2

September 20, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 91 Comments

by: Jay

Going into Week 2, one could pick from a plethora of story lines to choose from. As the one who dictates such things for your consumption, and seeing as how the "Petyon Manning's demise" story line was delayed this past Thursday night, I bring to you, dear readers, this fascinating snippet...

All four teams in the AFC East are 1-0. Last time that happened in any division was 2002.
— Armando Salguero (@ArmandoSalguero) September 13, 2015

Granted this probably is due to the fact that in the past, opening divisional games were more common, but I still think it's impressive for an entire division to go 4-0 in a week. Even more impressive when you consider that it's a division that includes both the Bills and the Jets. (Just a fun note, the AFC West could have also achieved this feat, if not for a Raiders loss in Week 1. Because Raiders.) Unfortunately, this honeymoon won't last, as the Patriots travel to Buffalo. So let's enjoy the fact that Bills, Dolphins, and Jets all share first place with the Patriots, something which I'm sure won't last much longer. The Jets will do what they do best, and that's be the Jets. The Dolphins, I'm sure, will find unique and interesting ways to stay mediocre. And the Bills? Well, what I can I say about that Bills that hasn't already been said about the Jets and Dolphins? Our rankings have been updated for today’s games and can be found here. New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 2: Johnny Manziel, The Return of the King

September 19, 2015 | 2015 Roster Strategy, 2015 Weekly Rankings | 84 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! After witnessing Peyton the redeemer, AKA Peyton the Elder, DECIMATE the once proud hearts of Kansas City Chiefs fans, I have two questions for you fine people: 1) Can we now put a stop to doubting Manning in the regular season? The old geezer may live off of Papa John's and Chicken Parm, but on Thursday Night Football, he served nothing but grizzly tube-steak, force feeding the veiny meat down the throats of the Chiefs secondary. And 2) Are we going to stop complaining about the quality of TNF games? The battle started out limper than Stephen Baldwin's career, but when that whistle blew, I find it difficult to believe ANY of you were questioning the quality of entertainment you just witnessed. Yes, I was once a detractor of TNF games, but with the inclusion of many more inter-divisional games and the upgraded ability for teams to prepare on a short week, going back to last season, it's actually been quite solid. Enough of tonguing Peyton's taint, though I know many of you would like to dive further into the discussion, the purpose of this post is to inform you of my most inner thoughts and dark secrets regarding Sunday and Monday's games. I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Start 'Em and Sit 'Em! Take heed! You can check out my rankings here, for all your roster needs.

The Benchwarmers, Week 2: The Better Version

September 18, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 22 Comments

by: Doug

Is the phrase, “Back in Black” work here? I’m currently wearing a white t-shirt, but oh well. This is the first of a weekly series I’ll be writing about arguably the most underrated part of anyone’s quest to winning their Fantasy Football league: their bench. You heard me, your Fantasy Football team’s bench players. What happens when you suffer an injury like Dez Bryant, have a suspension like Le'Veon Bell (no, not Tom Brady) or just your starters aren’t cutting it? Your bench plays a pivotal part in helping to make sure you are well prepared for when anything may arise. Often times, the teams and owners that win their leagues at the end of the season are those who pick up the right players and drop the wrong ones. This is what this weekly series will address, figuring out who to add, who to drop, and who to keep. So those of you who still have Josh Gordon on your bench, for example, it may be time to drop him (the first tip is on the house). So kick back, open your eyes wide, and enjoy the ride.