Author: Jay

Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.

Read some of Jay's 685 posts

Sunday Games Live Thread, Week 10

by: Jay

Through the entirety of my career leisurely watching football, there are certain truths, elements that remain steadfast if you will, that I’ve noticed over time. Sure, most of them involve Dan Synder being a douche, Ray Lewis getting stabby with it, and Phil Sims causing aneurysms, but, minus those wonderful highlights, hating on the New England Patriots seems to be numero uno on that list, not just in this country, but at a universal level. Like, I’m talking Pluto, man. And for all those haters (this galaxy specifically), I give to you, the New York Giants. True, they come from the derpiest division, and provide such levels of derp that Tom Coughlin’s face is permanently shaded red. But that seems to never get in the way when the Giants are playing against the Patriots. While there are other marquee match-ups, like Arizona at Seattle, and, uh, Jaguars against the Ravens? Holy sh*t these games suck. Regardless, can the Giants stop yet another Patriots unbeaten season? It’s not a Super Bowl, so probably not, but I guarantee this is the game to watch…

Rankings have been updated and can be found here.

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You Can Take Rex Ryan Out of the Jets…

by: Jay

…but can you take the Jets out of Rex Ryan? I think Ryan Fitzpatrick is saying… maybe? Or he’s just horrified at life.

Regular Razzball readers are quite familiar with my affection for NFC East derp, a very special and pronounced derp, to say the least, but sometimes all of us forget the unique derp that is produced by the non-Patriots AFC East. It’s as if the entire east coast can’t play a football game without producing a football-like product drenched with the aforementioned derp. And of course, last night, you have the Bills and Jets, two franchises, who in recent memory, you could only tell apart by the Bills sucking and the Jets blowing. True, it was rainy, it was windy in a short week, with two defense-oriented teams with mediocre offenses, but what we saw last night was the best this division has to offer. In this case though, we’ll call it the “lest”. Add in the bizarre (yet festive!) choice of jersey’s for both teams (shown above)… Not only was I in the mood for lime and salsa, but my left retina possibly detached. But hey, someday we’ll all get to tell our great-grandchildren that we were there for The Great Jersey Apocalypse of 2015. Unless you’re red-green colorblind. Then you’re the luckiest one out of all, because you saw nothing.

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Rankings, Week 10

November 12, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Weekly Rankings | 134 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
Week 9	61.2%	34 out of 130	67.9%	48.1%	Top 30%
Week 8	56.7%	30 out of 128	66.5%	42.9%	Top 25%
Week 7	57.8%	37 out of 129	66.8%	43.1%	Top 30%
Week 6	54.0%	84 out of 131	65.2%	45.7%	Top 65%
Week 5	54.4%	37 out of 130	59.7%	41.9%	Top 30%
Week 4	56.4%	12 out of 135	59.9%	41.1%	Top 10%
Week 3	59.1%	18 out of 134	65.0%	42.1%	Top 15%
Week 2	53.4%	85 out of 135	65.2%	46.2%	Top 65%
Week 1	56.8%	54 out of 137	62.8%	46.3%	Top 40%
2015	57.1%	32 out of 127	59.5%	50.1%	Top 30%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

Here are the Week 10 Rankings and FanDuel Week 10 Cheatsheet…

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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2015 Chicago Bears: Making Progress

November 10, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 80 Comments

by: Jay

In what was usual fare for a Monday Night Football game, two rambunctiously awful teams went at it, and this one was perhaps the nail in the coffin for the San Diego Chargers in all aspects. And I say all aspects, because this not only brings a close to their 2015 season, but also might put an end to what is now an animus relationship between the city, the fans, and the team’s owner, John Spanos. I think Jacksonville could play in San Diego and more of their fans would show up at this point… It honestly reminds me of when the Oilers left Houston. I should note, as the local (aka only) Chargers fan here at Razzball, I did provide my own hot take deep this offseason discussing my thoughts on the Chargers possible relocation. (TL;DR – I don’t really care, as I’m a fan of the team, not particularly where they play.) Especially since I’ve lived both in San Diego and Los Angeles, the entire southern California region will be one huge mega-city of L.A., Anaheim, and San Diego in about a decade anyhow, so it shouldn’t really matter. Though, it is quite silly how the Chargers have wasted Philip Rivers career thus far by drowning his entire surrounding environment with mediocrity. But hey, at 3-5, at least the Bears season is looking promising. They’ll win just enough games to land right in the middle of not making the playoffs and taking them out of the running of a nice draft pick…

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Casselvania 2: Overtime’s Quest

November 9, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 54 Comments

by: Jay

I’ll admit it. That was probably the best Sunday Night Football game of the season, and it had everything I’ve come to expect from an NFC East divisional game. It’s almost as if the Giants and Washington were there in spirit. In what was the second and final match-up between the Eagles and Cowboys, the game feature two quarterbacks that would probably be quite successful at the collegiate level. And most likely Canadian Football. And the aforementioned ingredients for this divisional game? All there. Turnovers, questionable officiating, amazing plays, the bi-weekly Sean Lee injury (honestly, Lee needs to be banned from playing football for his own good), back and forth scores leading to overtime, and of course, derp. In the end, the Cowboy’s failed to tackle anything during overtime (last play shown above) and now the Eagles have an insurmountable lead in the division at 4-4, good for second. Because Giants, that’s why. So… in summation: F*ck Greg Hardy.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 9’s Sunday games…

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Sunday Live Thread, Week 9

November 8, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 68 Comments

by: Jay

No game in London this week? Well, there goes my willingness to watch a football-like product today… Instead, we’ll have to deal with intriguing match-ups and, well, not so intriguing ones. Your typical Sunday in the NFL I suppose, unlike Thursday and Monday, which are normally intriguing match-ups that end up with not so intriguing games. (INTRIGUING!) If there was one game to watch, it would probably have to be the 6-1 Packers heading to the Carolinas (both of them I guess?) to face off against the undefeated Panthers. A true test to see if the Panthers, are in fact, real, as all their wins have come against some, well, to stick with today’s theme I guess, less-than-intriguing competition. Living in the NFC South will do that to ya I guess. If there was a second game to watch, it would have to be the Eagles and Cowboys annual opportunity at divisional fisticuffs and NFC East derp. Trust me, a Sunday Night Football game showcasing Sam Bradford and Matt Cassel may sound terrible, but it’ll that good kind of terrible. Like eating Spam. Or watching San Andreas…

Rankings have been updated and can be found here.

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Factory of Sadness Receives Stimulus Package

November 6, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 36 Comments

by: Jay

Well, what can you say about the Cleveland Browns that hasn’t already been said about, well, the Cleveland Browns? In what was billed as a “rivalry” on Thursday Night Football, I have to ask, if both teams have sucked for most of their history, can it be really called a rivalry? I’d lean towards the no group on that one, but that’s just me. That being said, the Bengals clearly have had the most recent success… at least in the regular season. But let’s go back to the Browns, seeing as Cincinatti appears to be on autopilot for their annual successful regular season run that will end in a one-and-done playoff loss, I have to say, the Browns did give us a valiant effort up until half-time. A stunningly competent Johnny Manziel and quite useful Duke Johnson Jr. helped keep the game close. Odd, as either the Browns are completely devastated about two minutes into a game, or they wait until the last two minutes to begin mass-producing sadness. Here, they were sort of wishy-washy, and I’m not sure if I should commend them or come away with disappointment. Then I realize it’s the Cleveland Browns and I stop caring… Like my wise mother once said: “Just be happy with what you have. There are plenty of people out there who have nothing. And then there are Browns fans.”

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Rankings, Week 9

November 5, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Weekly Rankings | 152 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
Week 8	56.7%	30 out of 128	66.5%	42.9%	Top 25%
Week 7	57.8%	37 out of 129	66.8%	43.1%	Top 30%
Week 6	54.0%	84 out of 131	65.2%	45.7%	Top 65%
Week 5	54.4%	37 out of 130	59.7%	41.9%	Top 30%
Week 4	56.4%	12 out of 135	59.9%	41.1%	Top 10%
Week 3	59.1%	18 out of 134	65.0%	42.1%	Top 15%
Week 2	53.4%	85 out of 135	65.2%	46.2%	Top 65%
Week 1	56.8%	54 out of 137	62.8%	46.3%	Top 40%
2015	56.5%	33 out of 127	59.0%	48.7%	Top 30%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

Here are the Week 9 Rankings and FanDuel Week 9 Cheatsheet… (The Rest of Season Rankings have been updated and can be found here.)

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Colts Officially Upgraded to Dolts

November 3, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 104 Comments

by: Jay

Or downgraded, depending on how you feel. How do I feel? Well… I still can’t quite decide if I enjoyed last night’s Monday Night Football. It had it’s moments, but at the end, I can say that I was overwhelmed with this conclusion: that the Colts pretty much represent how truly reprehensible the AFC South has become. You know it’s serious when I use two really long words that both start with “r”. (I mean, you might have not known that, but now you do. When I bring out the multi-syllabic “r” words, look out!) Anyways, the Colts are now 3-5 after last night’s overtime loss, with their only three wins in 2015 coming against their own division. And, surprising (or I guess not), they are still currently tied for first, despite looking like the AFC version of the San Francisco 49ers. And yes, I’m talking about the newest version that has already started selling (Vernon Davis to Broncos) and has benched Colin Kaepernick for Blaine Gabbert (LOL). Granted, Luck had to deal with a rainy first-half, and has undisclosed rib and shoulder injuries (which actually might be a good thing, or he’d be tempted to build an ark), but some of his passes were straight out of Duck Hunt. And the ones that weren’t? Well, as you can see above, Luck threw an interception that led to a game-winning Graham Gano field goal. Honestly, he’d better be careful, it’s just way too easy to call him Andrew Suck…

Here’s what else I saw during last night’s game… (with bonus Grudenisms!)

Special congratulations go to blewis555 for winning Razzball’s Week 8 Money Contest! One of our Daily Fantasy writers on the Baseball side, Matt Truss, finished second and in the money as well! If you want a chance to join in for Week 9, sign up here!

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Dead’Veon Bell

November 2, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 107 Comments

by: Jay

Notable injuries yesterday: EVERYONE. That’s correct my friends and fellow fantasy players, the time has come to huddle together and drown in our collective tears. And when I say tears, I don’t just mean the kind that comes out of our eyes. I’m talking the kind that comes happens to our body parts… Chances are, if you had a player on your team playing yesterday, they exploded and tore something. Entire body sections were lost yesterday, as if millions of ACLs and MCLs suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced. Steve Smith? Out for the year with a potentially career-ending Achilles tear. Reggie Bush, carted off the field with a torn ACL. Ryan Fitzpatrick, left the game early in the first quarter. The Chargers entire roster left their game against the Ravens before the second half. (Twelve total players.) Matt Forte, an undisclosed knee injury. In fact, Andrew Luck felt so left out from yesterday’s festivities, reports were released showing that he’s been playing with fractured ribs along with a still-present shoulder injury. And, of course, Le’Veon Bell’s injury (shown above) looms large as we continue to wait on any kind of news. As of now, it appears that Bell has avoided the dreaded ACL injury and that it might just be limited to a MCL injury. That basically means a multi-week setback at best, but doesn’t rule out a season-ending one. [Update: The latest reports show that he did suffer a full tear of his MCL, most likely ending his season.] As of now, DeAngelo Williams returns to the starting role, an area which he excelled at early in the season during Bell’s suspension, and Dri Archer will also see some carries, further proving that he is still as useless as ever. Gentlemen and ladies, these are the times when I realize alcohol is an important part of the life process. Let us drink, and hopefully not be injured while doing so…

Here’s what else I saw during Week 8’s Sunday games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sunday Live Thread, Week 8

November 1, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 66 Comments

by: Jay

It seems so long ago that we started our football journey, and here we are, at the half-way point. To celebrate, the NFL has decided to once again traverse the globe in a continuing effort to alienate football fans outside the United States, this time showcasing the hapless Lions (I nearly considered using the word “hopeless” instead, but let’s be honest, they do share the division with the Bears), going against the Chiefs sans Jamaal Charles. I hope London enjoys Stafford forcing throws into a quadruple-teamed Calvin Johnson and Alex Smith checkdowns as much as we do. Something also of note is that there are currently five undefeated teams in the NFL thus far, including the New England Patriots and Cincinnati Bengals, proving that the Atheists were onto something. Two of those teams, the Broncos and Packers, will face off for tonight’s Sunday Night Football showcase, allowing the entire NBC crew ample time to tell us how good Peyton Manning is despite having the arm strength of my great grandmother. Who’s been dead for almost 40 years…

Rankings have been updated and can be found here.

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Rankings, Week 8: And the Winner is…

October 29, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Weekly Rankings | 161 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
Week 7	57.8%	37 out of 129	66.8%	43.1%	Top 30%
Week 6	54.0%	84 out of 131	65.2%	45.7%	Top 65%
Week 5	54.4%	37 out of 130	59.7%	41.9%	Top 30%
Week 4	56.4%	12 out of 135	59.9%	41.1%	Top 10%
Week 3	59.1%	18 out of 134	65.0%	42.1%	Top 15%
Week 2	53.4%	85 out of 135	65.2%	46.2%	Top 65%
Week 1	56.8%	54 out of 137	62.8%	46.3%	Top 40%
2015	56.0%	26 out of 124	58.6%	47.7%	Top 25%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

We’ve had two contests running, the first being for using our remade Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and yesterday’s Steiner Sports Giveaway. The first was for a Razzball T-Shirt (of your choice) and the second was for $100.00 to use on Steiner Sports Memorabilia Store (which has some pretty awesome stuff.) Both winners were chosen randomly by Rudy, that way if you didn’t win, you can just blame him. I usually find that to be my de facto position at all times anyhow, so I’m sure he’s used to it. So congratulations to the two Razzball readers, you’ll find their names after the jump!

Along with your Week 8 Rankings and FanDuel Week 8 Cheatsheet… (The Rest of Season Rankings have been updated and can be found here.)

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?