Author: Jay

Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.

Read some of Jay's 685 posts

Rankings and Picks, Divisional Weekend

by: Jay

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.10% (31st out of 125 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.60% Lowest).

	Accuracy	Rank	Experts	Highest	Lowest	Score +/-	Rank +/-
Week 1	61.80%	22	134	66.10%	48.20%
Week 2	54.00%	35	135	61.30%	42.10%	-7.80%	-13
Week 3	57.40%	88	128	67.10%	44.30%	3.40%	-53
Week 4	56.50%	48	128	61.10%	42.80%	-0.90%	40
Week 5	56.50%	70	131	69.40%	47.00%	0.00%	-22
Week 6	56.30%	27	133	63.10%	41.50%	-0.20%	43
Week 7	59.70%	33	132	64.30%	46.50%	3.40%	-6
Week 8	56.30%	67	130	64.80%	45.20%	-3.40%	-34
Week 9	60.30%	23	131	66.00%	46.10%	4.00%	44
Week 10	57.80%	68	130	66.90%	48.40%	-2.50%	-45
Week 11	52.10%	64	131	67.60%	42.60%	-5.70%	4
Week 12	59.10%	29	129	66.20%	42.40%	7.00%	35
Week 13	58.40%	73	130	71.40%	48.40%	-0.70%	-44
Week 14	56.30%	59	131	63.70%	40.30%	-2.10%	14
Week 15	64.10%	24	128	68.20%	53.50%	7.80%	35
Week 16	56.20%	70	122	65.60%	45.30%	-7.90%	-46
Totals	58.10%	31	125	60.70%	50.60%

And now, your Divisional Weekend Rankings and Picks…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wild Card Weekend Round-Up: How Elite is Joe Flacco?

by: Jay

It’s been commonplace around here to poke a bit of fun at Joe Flacco’s expense, and I have to admit, it probably starts with me. Look, I don’t actively root against the ~~eyebrow~~ guy. Granted, I don’t root for him either, seeing as how it’s like rooting for a speed bump. But there is a certain something about him that really fascinates me. And that can essentially be boiled down to the the gift that keeps on giving… and that’s the process for measuring how elite Joe Flacco actually is (not just his eyebrow(s), which are too f*cking elite). Well folks, I think it’s time, once again, to go through this process once more. After a convincing win against a Steelers team that was clearly missing LeVeon Bell and any semblance of a third down defense, John Harbaugh said this after the game:

“Joe Flacco, what can you say… He’s the best quarterback in football.”

Well, first of all, don’t lead this off by asking “what can you say”. I can say a lot of things, and none of them would be what you said, John. Granted, yes, Flacco has a long history of being part of a lot of successful Ravens teams, including a Super Bowl ring and being the only quarterback in NFL history to win a playoff game in each of his first five seasons. Of course, there’s also the fact that he’s not really that good of a quarterback. But hey, when you’re just elite enough to win, who cares?

I guess I don’t. Then again, I’m now realizing that the Ravens vs. Patriots media extravaganza might be something I could have done without… been there, done that, ya know? Wait. What’s that you say? We’re going to have a Petyon Manning/Andrew Luck narrative to deal with as well?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rankings and Picks, Wild Card Weekend

January 3, 2015 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Weekly Rankings | 7 Comments

by: Jay

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.10% (31st out of 125 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.60% Lowest).

	Accuracy	Rank	Experts	Highest	Lowest	Score +/-	Rank +/-
Week 1	61.80%	22	134	66.10%	48.20%
Week 2	54.00%	35	135	61.30%	42.10%	-7.80%	-13
Week 3	57.40%	88	128	67.10%	44.30%	3.40%	-53
Week 4	56.50%	48	128	61.10%	42.80%	-0.90%	40
Week 5	56.50%	70	131	69.40%	47.00%	0.00%	-22
Week 6	56.30%	27	133	63.10%	41.50%	-0.20%	43
Week 7	59.70%	33	132	64.30%	46.50%	3.40%	-6
Week 8	56.30%	67	130	64.80%	45.20%	-3.40%	-34
Week 9	60.30%	23	131	66.00%	46.10%	4.00%	44
Week 10	57.80%	68	130	66.90%	48.40%	-2.50%	-45
Week 11	52.10%	64	131	67.60%	42.60%	-5.70%	4
Week 12	59.10%	29	129	66.20%	42.40%	7.00%	35
Week 13	58.40%	73	130	71.40%	48.40%	-0.70%	-44
Week 14	56.30%	59	131	63.70%	40.30%	-2.10%	14
Week 15	64.10%	24	128	68.20%	53.50%	7.80%	35
Week 16	56.20%	70	122	65.60%	45.30%	-7.90%	-46
Totals	58.10%	31	125	60.70%	50.60%

And now, your Wild Card Weekend Rankings and Picks…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So Long, Regular Season. It’s Been Adverb Adjective.

December 29, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 11 Comments

by: Jay

So let me get this straight… there are three AFC North teams in the playoffs? No, I don’t care for this much AFC North in the playoffs. And I guess I should tackle the elephant in the room and mention that yes, I do know the Chargers lost. (I like bourbon more than bourbon likes me. True story, bro.) That’s okay, not every one can play in the NFC South. So yeah, now we can officially say good bye to the 2014 regular season of the National Football League. (We hardly knew ye!)

While most of us essentially closed up shop last week, today actually marks the end to Razzball’s 2014 Fantasy Football Season, and like I said the other day, we couldn’t do it with out you guys and gals. The Razzball community is numero uno, which I could translate for you if I knew French. Obviously, I don’t. I’d like to also give a special thanks to all of our contributors this season. KC (Kati), Jennifer, Andrew Nordmeier, Seth, J-FOH, Kevin Kumpf, Smokey, Nico, Tehol, malamoney (Matt), waterloo (Michael), and Ralph… great job everyone!

Be sure to join us during the offseason. We’ll be dissecting our previous rankings, projections, preseason calls, and then we’ll have the draft content, the free agency period soon there after, and before you know it, mini-camps are back and we can do this all over again. Time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve ever done or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again. Alright-alright-alright. Until then, Razzball is covering your favorite non-football sports for Basketball, Soccer, and Hockey.

Now, back to your regularity scheduled round-up…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sunday Games, Week 17: A Penny for Your Watts

December 28, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Gameday | 7 Comments

by: Jay

While last week marked the end of the fantasy seasonfor many of you, this week will mark the end of the real football season (and I guess also the end of some fantasy seasons for leagues that forgot to set their playoffs correctly). The great tournament is just about set (sans the seeding), with only the Panthers and Falcons deciding who gets to wear the dumpster fire crown (which, believe it or not, is also on fire) for the NFC South title, and just the Chargers, Ravens, Chiefs, and Texans vying for the last wild card position in the AFC. The Chargers path is the least treacherous, (win-and-you’re-in), which probably means you should prepare for their usual bed-sh*tting. That being said, the three other teams have their own mountains to climb. The Ravens need to win against the Browns combined with a Chargers loss. The Chiefs need a win against the Chargers combined with a Ravens loss at home and a Texans loss. And for the Texans to make the playoffs, well… let’s just say they need Conner Shaw, Chase Daniel, and Case Keenum to lead their respective teams to victory. So… yeah. Good luck with that Texans!

Week 17 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

Don’t know who to start due to it being the last Sunday of the season? Here’s some Week 17 roster strategy for the AFC and NFC.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rankings, Week 17

December 27, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Weekly Rankings | 10 Comments

by: Jay

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.10% (31st out of 125 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.60% Lowest).

Week 16 Results: 56.20% (70th out of 122 Experts, 65.60% Highest, 45.30% Lowest).

	Accuracy	Rank	Experts	Highest	Lowest	Score +/-	Rank +/-
Week 1	61.80%	22	134	66.10%	48.20%
Week 2	54.00%	35	135	61.30%	42.10%	-7.80%	-13
Week 3	57.40%	88	128	67.10%	44.30%	3.40%	-53
Week 4	56.50%	48	128	61.10%	42.80%	-0.90%	40
Week 5	56.50%	70	131	69.40%	47.00%	0.00%	-22
Week 6	56.30%	27	133	63.10%	41.50%	-0.20%	43
Week 7	59.70%	33	132	64.30%	46.50%	3.40%	-6
Week 8	56.30%	67	130	64.80%	45.20%	-3.40%	-34
Week 9	60.30%	23	131	66.00%	46.10%	4.00%	44
Week 10	57.80%	68	130	66.90%	48.40%	-2.50%	-45
Week 11	52.10%	64	131	67.60%	42.60%	-5.70%	4
Week 12	59.10%	29	129	66.20%	42.40%	7.00%	35
Week 13	58.40%	73	130	71.40%	48.40%	-0.70%	-44
Week 14	56.30%	59	131	63.70%	40.30%	-2.10%	14
Week 15	64.10%	24	128	68.20%	53.50%	7.80%	35
Week 16	56.20%	70	122	65.60%	45.30%	-7.90%	-46
Totals	58.10%	31	125	60.70%	50.60%

And now, your Week 17 Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Impressive Prime Time Win for Bengals. Wait, What?

December 23, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 17 Comments

by: Jay

Thus marks the end of Monday Night Football for the 2014 NFL Season. I can’t say it was a great catalog of games, but when your prime time competition is Sunday Night Football and Thursday Night Football, I guess finishing in the middle ain’t that bad. And while the game immediately looked like a normal Bengals effort, Andy Dalton’s pick-six at the opening of the game seemed to have no ill-effects. Well, I mean, there was the Alex Smith game plan for a while there, but that only showed us that Jeremy Hill can do interesting things, especially against one of the best defenses in the AFC (not really saying much, but there it is.) In the end, Manning continues his descent into a smarter and more robotic Chad Henne, and depending on how the playoffs go, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him retire this offseason. Or he could play one more year and effectively throw ducks for 4,000 yards and 30+ touchdowns. That forehead could do it. Just as long as January has nothing to say about it…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The End is Near

December 22, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 20 Comments

by: Jay

You know, I don’t really hate giving the lede to the NFC South, and if you’ve been spending any time here at Razzball, you know that I find this division so very… satisfying. Not in the good way, like, wow, this NFC South man, it gives the greatest head type of way. No… but to be honest, I have felt similar sensations. It’s the satisfying “oh my god, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, so I’ll just laugh at it and celebrate it for being the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” type of thing. But the fact remains, I don’t hate talking about it. So at what point does it become masochistic? I mean, we are talking about the day after fantasy football “Championship Week”, probably the most masochistic weekend in all of fantasy sports, so yeah, it’s going to be theme. So with the Saints losing to the Falcons, we now have a NFC South “Superbowl” with the Panthers visiting the Falcons to decide who gets the home playoff defeat. Yes, the Saints are as good as eliminated, but if I understand math correctly (I really don’t), if this game ends in a tie, the Falcons, Panthers, and Saints will all just trigger a nuclear reaction that will re-birth the universe. What a place that would be! In other Sunday news, it’s apparent the NFL wants a Patriots vs. Cowboys Superbowl, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I probably wasn’t ready for a 7-8-1 (or a 7-9) playoff team… so there’s that I guess…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is Nacho Division Anymore

December 21, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 71 Comments

by: Jay

Well, I think it’s official. From this point forward, all Thursday Night Football should be played only on Saturdays. In what could arguably be called two of the best prime time games of the season, Washington, powered by the vengeance of DeSean Jackson and Mark Sanchez’s mediocrity, was able to deal a striking blow to the Eagles playoff hopes. (While I wouldn’t be surprised at the Cowboys losing two in a row during December, nye, one could almost expect it, the odds are still not with them.) And in Santa Clara, the 49ers looked like the three-time AFC Championship game team we all knew and loved before this season… for about two quarters. Unfortunately for them, the last two quarters, they looked like something you’d normally find due east of San Francisco. Oakland, for all of you unfamiliar with California geography. And with that, the Chargers came back, 21 points down at the half, to win in overtime and keep their playoff hopes alive. So when it comes down to it, Thursday Night Football, Saturday Edition, on the NFL Network, CBS Edition (not acronymed enough to be honest) ended up being two close back-and-forth games, with one ending up in overtime, and plenty of entertainment value (touchdowns) to boot. I’d call that a successful night of football. This is it, all is lost. The world is ending…

Week 16 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It Was the Best of Games, It Was the Worst of Games

December 19, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 41 Comments

by: Jay

So, I’ll be honest… I’m not quite sure if what I saw last night was an okay game or a boring one. True, we are talking about a prime time game that featured a then 2-12 Titans team vs. their ultimate mirror universe nemesis, the also 2-12 Jaguars. Let’s just say if they figured out how to include both the Raiders and Buccaneers on the field at the same time (why isn’t this a thing?), I would have fainted. And while there was some subtle competency from Charile Whitehurst (perhaps trying to grab the attention of Washington) at the beginning of the game, driving 12 plays and 84 yards for a touchdown, the game kinda settled into a mix of “gee, this seems like a good time to try heroin” to “I was promised derp! Where is the derp?” So, in the end, there was a mildly entertaining game between two teams that kinda stink. Which, I guess seems fitting for the end of Thursday Night Football this year, in that, this was probably a top-5 game for them this season. Scary, I know. So… with a Jaguars win and a Titans loss, the resounding takeaway probably is: YOUR MOVE JETS.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rankings, Week 16

December 18, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Weekly Rankings | 81 Comments

by: Jay

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.30% (26th out of 127 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.40% Lowest).

Week 15 Results: 64.10% (24th out of 128 Experts, 68.20% Highest, 53.50% Lowest).

	Accuracy	Rank	Experts	Highest	Lowest	Score +/-	Rank +/-
Week 1	61.80%	22	134	66.10%	48.20%
Week 2	54.00%	35	135	61.30%	42.10%	-7.80%	-13
Week 3	57.40%	88	128	67.10%	44.30%	3.40%	-53
Week 4	56.50%	48	128	61.10%	42.80%	-0.90%	40
Week 5	56.50%	70	131	69.40%	47.00%	0.00%	-22
Week 6	56.30%	27	133	63.10%	41.50%	-0.20%	43
Week 7	59.70%	33	132	64.30%	46.50%	3.40%	-6
Week 8	56.30%	67	130	64.80%	45.20%	-3.40%	-34
Week 9	60.30%	23	131	66.00%	46.10%	4.00%	44
Week 10	57.80%	68	130	66.90%	48.40%	-2.50%	-45
Week 11	52.10%	64	131	67.60%	42.60%	-5.70%	4
Week 12	59.10%	29	129	66.20%	42.40%	7.00%	35
Week 13	58.40%	73	130	71.40%	48.40%	-0.70%	-44
Week 14	56.30%	59	131	63.70%	40.30%	-2.10%	14
Week 15	64.10%	24	128	68.20%	53.50%	7.80%	35
Totals	58.30%	26	127	60.70%	50.40%

And now, your Week 16 Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Competent Saints or Just Terrible Bears? Yes.

December 16, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 23 Comments

by: Jay

The continuing saga of the dumpster fire (outside an abortion clinic) known as the NFC South surely has captivated all of us here at Razzball (I’m pretty sure it’s about 78% of the content I’ve been producing the last month), and, what I would expect to be the entire nation. Some men just want to watch the world burn. And we are those men. And our world are the Saints (6-8), Panthers (5-8), Falcons (5-9), and the Buccaneers (2-12). Remember, this division features three teams vying for a playoff spot and four teams vying for a top-10 draft position. That doesn’t even seem mathematically possible. So with that in mind, what’s a better prime-time event than to pair up a team from this division to go against the hapless Bears? With an immensely disappointing year, Marc Trestman, Jay Cutler, and the Bears switch from the cover two to the cover none defensive scheme have all been at the center of blame. And yet, they would have been vying for a home playoff game last night if they were in the NFC South. I’m not sure if that should make them laugh or cry. While the game started out derpy, it soon settled into an ugly and boring one-sided game. Perhaps the perfect teaser for Thursday Night Football, which features the Titans and Jaguars. Which will make me feature Jameson in my mouth. More like whiskey-boarding, amiright folks?

Please, blog, may I have some more?