Podcast: 10 Team Expert League, with Special Host Pod Vader (Former ESPN Producer)

by: Jay

Now, if you’ve been a reader here at the football side of Razz, you know that I try to stay away from the title of “expert” whenever possible, except in reference to watching porn (the single life!), as I’m just a dude that likes writing about football… that’s it. But whenever this nomenclature comes up, you have that one guy (or girl… please?) explaining that we are not experts and blah-blah-yadda-yadda, ef the establishment! In which case, I kinda agree, but can’t we just accept that this is the title of the league and I’m not really going to take the time to say: 10-team league full of seasoned-writers that decided to get together to form a league so we can see who reigns supreme? That’s right, I’m just going to put it in the lede to take up space until we get to the Podcast link…

Anyhow, like the title denotes, this Podcast (on the Blogtalkradio Network) was recorded during our “EXPERT, MUTHAF*CKER” draft, and among the teams, you’ll find those “seasoned” fantasy vets such as ESPN’s former Producer Pod Vader, Fantasy Insiders‘ Joel Henard, SportsGalPal‘s Ramona Rice, Her Fantasy Football’s Brandon Marianne Lee, Matt Chatham from Football by Football, Wally Spurlin from Fantasy Football Sharks, D-Rex (yes, that’s his name, no, he’s not a dinosaur, unfortunately) from Pyromaniac, Daily Fantasy Sports Rankings‘ Doug Norrie, Pro Football Weekly‘s John Sahly, and Jay from Razzball (hey, that’s me!)

I’ll have my own analysis of the draft in a few short days, but in the meantime, enjoy the show!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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2016 Razzball Dream League: Meet the Contestants

August 20, 2016 | 2016 Dream League, 2016 Fantasy Football, Our Leagues | 4 Comments

by: Keegan

Have you ever seen the TV series The League? Yeah, it’s electric. You can’t honestly call yourself a fantasy football fan, or even a sports fan, if you have never seen it.

One day, while watching the show, I thought to myself, “this show is fantastic, but it’s fake.” The people in the show probably know nothing about fantasy football. That’s why I set out to create a bigger and better version of this TV show. My show is better because, well, it’s real. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing your new favorite reality TV show: The Razzball Dream League.

I’ve gathered ten of the best fantasy football players and personalities to document their way through the day in, day out grind of the fantasy football season. These personalities feel the same pain you feel and experience the same triumph you do. Without further ado, meet the contestants of our dream league…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tehol’s 2016 Rankings: Tight Ends

August 19, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 30 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

We all vividly recall the gruesome Jimmy Graham patellar tear last season, especially, I, your thrice damned Lord. Immediately following that pathetic excuse of a football game, I returned to my safe haven, under a bridge in downtown Seattle where the Spoonman-man and myself railed pills and smoked peyote till the birds started chirping. And I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day. Even now as I type this, I have fallen to my knees, asking, no begging!, for the Elder Gods assistance in keeping Jimmy injury free in 2016 while we cruise to another Super Bowl victory, most likely in a revenge humping of the hated Patriots.

You see, my goodmen, Jimmy G is insanely underrated here; I believe the consensus has him around 15 or so and that’s just pathetic. Yes, the tight end position goes deeper than Kardashian snatch this season, but Graham has more talent in his smoothly shaved left nut than any tight end in the league other than Gronk and Jordan Reed. Graham is coming of the injury, and it’s possible he’s not ready for Week 1, but who cares!? Grab Dwayne Allen or Charles Clay and ride them like Seabiscuit until the God returns to us when we most need him. Seattle’s offense was beyond prolific to close 2016 and this is without Graham involved, so take a little guess at what happens when they incorporate Jimmy back into things? Mo’ money, Mo’ money, Mo’ money!

Anyway, I’m sick as a dog so I’m gonna drop these rankings on ya’ll right quick! I am Tehol Beddict and these are my preseason Fantasy Football Tight End Rankings! Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Should You Draft Dorial Green-Beckham?

August 18, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 15 Comments

by: mikeMaher

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Before his trade from the Tennessee Titans to the Philadelphia Eagles on Tuesday, Dorial Green-Beckham was a late round WR4/WR5 flyer, at best. But DGB was also somebody that people just couldn’t seem to agree on. His average WR ADP was around 50, with some experts ranking him as high as 31 and other ranking him closer to 90. Some touted his untapped potential (and 6’5”, 235 lb frame) and the talent he has flashed in the past, while others have pointed out his overall lack of production and his tendency to disappear (see weeks 1, 5, 7, 10, and 16 last year, when he had exactly zero catches).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Fantasy Football Draft Kit

August 17, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Draft Tools, 2016 Fantasy Football | 66 Comments

by: Jay

Well, if you hadn’t noticed, (which is most likely the case), we have our very own Fantasy Football Draft Kit! Yay us! (And you!) While calling it a “kit” makes it sound like some kind of Inspector Gadget wonder-tool, or, I don’t know, a Trans Am that has an artificial intelligence with an oh-so-soothing voice that blows sh*t up, because: 80’s television yo… well, it’s much more than that. It’s your one-stop destination for everything drafty (is that a word?) that originates from Razzball (that’s us!). You’ll find all of our Fantasy Football Rankings and auction values here in one place, and in the not too distant future, you’ll see our projections. On top of that (oh yes, there’s more, and it goes on top), it’ll be updated daily as we produce content. There will also be upcoming division previews and comparisons between our rankings and those of our peers (ESPN and Yahoo mainly). And while I can’t promise our Draft Kit will have Skynet like abilities in wiping out your competition AND the entire human race with robots that have an Austrian accent… we do promise to try to keep you entertained and informed. Because that’s what we do. (I hope!) Word.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Be Like Tom Vu

August 17, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

by: Son

For the unfortunate few that did not have the pleasure of experiencing Tom Vu in the late 80’s, you truly missed out. His infomercials were the best thing on late night television, which prompted In Living Color, Saturday Night Live, and Family Guy to all pay homage to him. Put all the clowning to the side, though, because we as fantasy football degenerates should emulate the great Mr. Vu. Look past the terrible accent, the allegations of securities fraud and false advertising, the beautiful women, and the fancy cars. What do we have? The OG of VBD (Value Based Drafting). Okay, David Dodds and Joe Bryant over at Footballguys.com created VBD for fantasy football, but Tom Vu was VBDing in real life before fantasy football was cool. Look past all the sizzle and you will see that, at the core, he was all about finding value. Scooping up distressed properties (foreclosures, bankruptcies, divorces, tax liens) and milking a profit from them. Sound familiar?

Come to my seminar and I will show you the best value in the fantasy football market today!!!

Virgil Green. Is it any coincidence that the color of money is green? I think not.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Do’s and Don’ts of Fantasy Football Drafting

August 17, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Fantasy Football | 33 Comments

by: Jay

Welcome back for another strategy session, where you and I sit down, group our intellect together, and prepare to discuss fantasy football ad nauseum… and then promptly get distracted by RedTube. So pretty much every other Wednesday. (Well, for me, at least.) We already have a Beginners Guide to Fantasy Football, for those of you who had no idea fantasy football existed… I’m sure there are dozens of you. DOZENS! But now that we have the “101” stuff out of the way, we arrive at the “Do’s and Don’ts” of a draft. As what should be pretty self explanatory, there are things that you should do and things that you should not do. Crazy stuff! I know. Granted, these are based on my own experiences within the fantasy football landscape, so take them for what you will. Which frankly, should be lots. Because it’s free. Free stuff is always good. Unless it’s crayfish in your pants. That’s something that’s free, mysterious, titillating, and scary all at the same time. Much like my lovemaking.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Handy Chart (Not for Navigating the Ocean)

August 17, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Draft Tools, 2016 Fantasy Football | 6 Comments

by: Jay

Soooo, yeah, I got bored. What can I say? Even with such an illustrious life of binge drinking and hanging out with your mom, there are empty spaces to fill. And I give you something that came out of one of those spaces. And while this is probably considered more a table than a chart (and a crude one at that!), I wouldn’t have been able to make a nautical joke in the title. I’m all about the nautical jokes, baby. The thought process here is, (and be careful, you’ll be entering my thoughts, so duck if you see heavy amounts of tacos, or, you know, do your best motorboat impersonation):

“Well, you know what I would really like? Besides a fudgesicle? Actually, that’s all I’d really like. Wait, then I can’t explain my chart. Well… okay, but this is the last favor I’m doing for you. (What, this is how my brain works… kinda makes you wonder why you are even here, right?) So… what I’d like right now, besides fudge in my mouth, is a sort of reference thingamajig and tells me where all my picks will land if I’m picking, let’s say, 5th in a 12-team draft. Where are the rest of my picks? WHERE I ASK YOU! Look at all this internal strife. FUUUUDGE.”

So, you see all that? I needed something to tell me where my picks are, because I react to math like I do canned asparagus. This is a bad thing for all you canned asparagus lovers out there. All three of you. So, here’s a nifty chart/table-thang (thing?) that won’t necessarily help you navigate international waters, but might come in handy during your drafts…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Fantasy Football Team Name Generator

August 16, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Draft Tools, 2016 Fantasy Football | 8 Comments

by: Jay

We are approaching the beginning of the Fantasy Football season. SURPRISE! There are Fantasy Football Rankings everywhere, the Draft Strategy series has begun, and everything is falling into place except for one big thing (that’s what she said). That’s right, your potential team name remains the one true mystery that must be solved. Be the Sherlock of your league. Don’t be the Dr. Watson. I mean, do be a doctor if you can, that seems like an admirable profession that pays well. More like… don’t be the “Watson” part. Actually, being Watson isn’t that bad either, since you get to star in a plethora of Hobbit movies with a guy who wears spandex and ping-pong balls as a living. So, actually, you can be both those guys AND have an amazing team name. That’s what I’m trying to say. I think. Anyhow, allow me to introduce the Razzball Fantasy Football Team Name Generator.

Post some of your favorites below!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Fantasy Football: A Beginner’s Guide

August 16, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Fantasy Football | 19 Comments

by: Jay

What this picture presupposes is, maybe it should be?

Welcome to what could be called the “first installment” of our 2016 Draft Strategy. This journey will help prepare you for Draft day, and will likely also be filled with an assortment of snacks ranging from TWIX® candy bars and FUNYUNS®, basically what I like to call: breakfast. And don’t tell me why they’re written all in caps, that’s their official “name”, so I can only assume that we are meant to shout it out every time, which, now that I think of it, seems totally natural. Q: “What are you hungry for?” A: “TWIX MOTHER F*CKER!” See what I mean? Regardless, this opening salvo of strategic knowledge (everything sounds better when weaponized) is focused for those of you who have no idea what fantasy football is or what it does. And yes, to all the Razzball regulars, you’ve read this before, but I know there are some of you out there that are new to the site or new to the game. If so, this Beginners Guide to Fantasy Football is for you. And listen, don’t be afraid of being the “noob”, that’s not a derogatory title for me. It can be derogatory, but for those who do use it as a negative descriptor, just remember, they were noobs once too. We all have to start somewhere… Which is probably your mom’s basement. And if that’s the case, you’ve completed half the journey, some would say. (Me!)

So, you want to play Fantasy Football? Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Diggin’ the Stefon

August 15, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football |

by: M@

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During a football draft one year, we hit round six and I made the quote: “Here’s where it gets interesting, yet boring.” Seven years later, I still hear about it. But what those silly fools I play with don’t understand is that the statement’s not that Johnny Bananas in reality. Sure, everyone and their ~~mom~~ (mom’s don’t play fantasy football…they have Pinterest…) knows the names of the first few rounds, and you should all know to wait for upside, defenses and kickers for the final rounds, but what about the clusterf*ck in the middle? It can be a big pile of I don’t knows, wild guesses, and ESPN says he’s ranked 50th overall!!!’s. So let’s sort through the trash like Scrooge McDuck diving into his treasure room of gold coins and mine those players for the middle rounds to find some overrated hype, underrated targets, and the sleepiest of sleepers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Fantasy Football Razzball Commenter Leagues

August 15, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Razzball Commenter Leagues | 22 Comments

by: Jay

So, wouldn’t it be cool if you could take on some of your favorite contributors and all of the Razzball readers/commenters in one huge Free Fantasy Football League? IT WOULD BE COOL YO. That’s why we made this possible. And why it was in all caps. Welcome to the 2016 Fantasy Football RCL! Where all of the Razzballers get to hang out, talk some football, and compete against each other in the game we all love. While we can’t create a single 500 person league as of yet, since the technology has yet to be invented, what we can do is create multiple 12-person leagues and pit them all against each other. If you don’t like that, well, you can be the one to wait for the future to come. So enjoy those dragons with lasers, wearing leather and blasting Daft Punk. ENJOY IT. However, if you are not such a timey prude, join us for some fantasy football funnage. Totally a word. So I present to you: the 2016 RCL Fantasy Football Season, with prizes!

Before you get started, I know that some of you out there may have never played fantasy football before. That’s okay! Razzball will have a Beginners Fantasy Football Guide tomorrow just for you! Maybe you’re a seasoned veteran, well, we have a 2016 Fantasy Football Draft Kit that’s being updated everyday, be sure check it out multiple times. (That’s what she said.) And can’t think of a team name? Check out our Fantasy Football Team Name Generator. Need some rankings? Oh, we got some Fantasy Football Rankings for ya! Now, let’s get to the good stuff…

Please, blog, may I have some more?