Bear or Bull, Week 13: Da bears

December 1, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 7 Comments

superfans

Da bears are a joke. No B for you! They are 2-9 on the season and have only scored 178 points all year! The Lambs have scored 170? Geez. Only three other teams have failed to crack the 200 point barrier. Maybe they are playing on All-Madden while the rest of the league is on Pro. Forget about recounting votes for Hillary! I demand an audit of the NFL to check the gameplay settings! Actually, scratch that. They just suck.

So why the hell am I devoting my precious time and energy to Da bears this week?

For starters, the other great writers at Razzball got you covered on the main guys out there. Go check them out. I highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: Razzball did not pay me to write that, nor did they pay anyone in my immediate family for that endorsement. Pssst, Jay and Grey….all good?

I try to touch on the players that are a little off the reservation. Mission accomplished for sure this week. Achievement unlocked.

Finally, I wanted my loyal readers to be a part of history. Drum roll please… For the first time in Razzball Bear or Bull history, I will talk about not one, not two, but three players! Maybe four. I can see my followers gathering now. Yeah, I feel you.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn more about our 2024 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

The best blend of accurate and bold weekly projections for QB/RB/WR/TE + PK + Defensive Teams and IDP as well as a kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!

Fantasy Football Rankings, Week 13

by: Jay

Period	Rank	QB	RB	WR	TE	K	DST
Week 12	52 out of 130	60	44	28	119	43	8
Week 11	35 out of 133	81	24	59	33	19	77
Week 10	59 out of 133	46	40	102	104	15	40
Week 9	2 out of 133	2	20	76	14	33	18
Week 8	46 out of 134	76	13	90	65	73	33
Week 7	5 out of 138	58	2	36	30	22	56
Week 6	92 out of 137	101	60	87	63	18	55
Week 5	9 out of 138	42	32	4	112	56	12
Week 4	5 out of 141	60	15	6	49	4	62
Week 3	22 out of 139	41	18	62	21	7	32
Week 2	96 out of 139	96	116	38	107	13	8
Week 1	66 out of 138	63	73	34	116	32	23
2016	7 out of 141	31	5	11	55	10	11
3-year AVG	20 out of 122	37	28	17	47	17	35

Another week, another okay-ish result, but overall, Razzball is still holding strong in the top-10 for the season. This is the first week of Fantasy Football playoffs for many of us, so I know we’re all 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it’s more… it could be 98% scared and 2% excited. Actually, you know, I just quoted Armageddon, so I think we can just quickly move along to the rankings and pretend none of this ever happened…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Handcuff Report, Week 13: All Saints Week

November 30, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 19 Comments

by: mikeMaher

It’s Week 13, which means we are heading into the fantasy playoffs soon. I know that because my readership has dwindled the last two weeks, as many fantasy owners have been eliminated from the playoffs and are throwing in the towel. But that’s OKAY. That just means we can be more serious and a bit more intimate now. It’s just me and you, playoff hopefuls.

Heading into this week, Tim Hightower was a name to watch because Mark Ingram was still in the concussion protocol and was questionable to play. If Ingram couldn’t go, Hightower was going to be a high-end flex/RB2 to throw into lineups before they locked on Sunday. But word came out on Sunday morning that Ingram was going to play, so many likely left Hightower on the bench or on the waiver wire.

But something funny happened. It didn’t matter that Ingram played. Ingram and Hightower combined for three touchdowns and almost 300 yards, with Hightower accounting for 51 rushing yards, 54 receiving yards, and one of the touchdowns. Although, Hightower’s final stat line would look a bit different if not for the late 50-yard touchdown pass from wide receiver Willie Snead. If Hightower can keep producing even with a healthy Ingram, he can help out some of the needier fantasy owners come playoff time.

To the report…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who Are These Guys?, Week 13: Kneel Before Zod

November 30, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 19 Comments

by: malamoney

Being that the kind people at Razzball have given me a soapbox, if you will, to share with you all the thoughts that swim within my head, I thought I’d take advantage of said opportunity to rant. If you can bear with me for a few sentences I promise to return to regularly scheduled programming and, as I do on a weekly basis, tender my slightly above average fantasy football advice. And when I say “average” I really mean “mediocre”. And when I say “mediocre” what I REALLY mean is “fvcking awesome”. Okay, so perhaps I’m reaching for the proverbial stars, but why not. After all, I could probably give you crap advice and many of you would still be happy. Stealing a quote from Negan, I could be inclined to say “I just slid my d*ck down your throat and you thanked me”. But that’s not how I roll.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Working the Wire, Week 13: Gotta Say I Told You So

November 29, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Waiver Wire | 37 Comments

by: M@

This could go one of two ways. That smug look on Colbert above is one trajectory: pride. Last week’s Working the Waiver, beyond featuring a GIF and link to perhaps the funniest six minutes on the internet (thank you, Eastbound and Down), couldn’t have been more accurate. Okay, fine, it could have been without the Tajae Sharpe egg, but seriously…you could/should have rostered every name on there. But instead of puffing up my #dadbod chest for the masses to gawk over (eat your heart out, Tehol), the prevailing emotion is the second option: desperation. Seriously, I ain’t to proud to beg.

It’s Week 13. For all you non-math majors, that’s a bakers dozen. And in the fantasy world, you know what that means: One. More. Week. It’s the final week before playoffs begin. If you’re still reading this I assume you’re in the race for a playoff spot. And if you’re not, well…you’re the best kind of person. Thank you. Keep fighting even though the ship is now sunk (I’m doing this in a staff league. Gotta get as many points as possible to make my case that fantasy football involves incredible luck. Fourth most points in a 14-team league but miss the playoffs? Wasn’t my fault.). So, as we prep our playoff rosters, there are plenty of targets to either deepen your bench or shore up your FLEX spot. And guess what? A lot of the names are the EXACT same as last week. I TOLD YOU SO! Pick them up! I beg of you.

Here are the top targets to, well…target heading into Week 13!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hit it or Quit It, Week 13: Cruz-ing for a Loss

November 29, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

by: Jennifer

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - AUGUST 09: Wide receiver Victor Cruz #80 of the New York Giants looks on prior to a preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at MetLife Stadium on August 9, 2014 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Alex Trautwig/Getty Images)

Well, here we are ladies and gentlemen, convicts and inmates, perverts and peepers, Week 13 of the 2016 Fantasy Football season. This also marks my last article for the year as many of you will be on your own as the season winds down. I hope that you will all be able to manage without my weekly doses of awesomeness until next Fall, but many of you continue to have masturbation shrines to me in your basements, so it’ll be like I never left. How are we doing? Me, I have about three out of five leagues where I still have a shot at taking home the Shiva thanks to the waiver wire, some good old-fashioned voodoo, and a couple of human sacrifices. Let’s just say, Jobu has had more than a few refills this year, but hey, whatever works, right? Now that we are down to the wire, there are some really slim pickin’s on many of the waiver wires and my Black Widow Curse continues to feast on man-flesh, but on the bright side, she is also allowing some people to make it back from oblivion and certain doom, so there is a silver lining, I suppose. Let’s see what magic I can work for you this week and give you that extra fluffing to boldly make that erect march into your 2016 Fantasy League stardom. Without further ado, I give you the last 2016 edition of Hit it or Quit it…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is Westworld On Yet?

November 28, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 113 Comments

by: Jay

While the Chargers fan in me wanted this Sunday Night Football game to be a lazy Father’s Day gift (a tie!), the football fan in me just wanted to do a bit of scouting on Tony Romo’s new team next season. But it was hard to do either with the most boring first half of a football game in the history of the NFL, since last Thursday. Though drinking games usually help, instead, to match the theme of this weekend, I went with an eating game. If a first down happened, I ate turkey, and if not, ham. Worked out pretty well, I have to say. And don’t get me wrong, there were some positives last night. Al Michaels’ continued sabbatical is one. (Kinda like February in Palm West, because it’s all about an old man drying out.) There was… okay, so there was one positive. Which really wasn’t a positive at all with Cris Collinsworth trying to speak with Roger Goodell’s balls in his mouth. Just remember, the NFL flexed this game because they honestly thought that it would be more entertaining than the Jets and Patriots. Which would have been futile anyways, unless they happened to flex Westworld instead…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sunday Games Live Thread, Week 12

November 27, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 69 Comments

by: Jay

So this is it my friends, quite possibly the last fantasy regular season week we’ll spend together… until we all do this again next year. And seeing as how we are celebrating the holidays with relatives who know about as much as brining a turkey (want to know why the turkey is so dry? Because you need to brine it folks…) as they do politics, football is a nice recompense. Well, that along with copious amounts of alcohol. But in that spirit, I’d like to thank all my contributors and staff writers, because without you, this place would just be all Jay all the time. And if you guy’s know anything, you never go full Jay. So in no particular order, special thanks to Tehol Beddict, Alex Lee, Matt Bowe, Zach, Dominic Hall, Mike Honcho, Stan Son, Mike Maher, malamoney, Matt Hayes, Lance, and Rudy Gamble, who handles so many things on the back-end (that’s what she said) of the site. And I’d also, while I’m at it, thank you, the readers and community. Obviously, without all of you, we wouldn’t be here… I mean, Tehol would be here, but if Tehol writes of his love for Andre Ellington and no one reads it, did it really happen?

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 12 by clicking here. Tehol’s rankings can be found here. And as always, my updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Deep Impact, Week 12: Malcolm Down the Middle

November 26, 2016 | 2016 Deep Leagues, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

by: Alex Lee

Nov 20, 2016; Santa Clara, CA, USA; New England Patriots wide receiver Malcolm Mitchell (19) after a play against the San Francisco 49ers during the third quarter at Levi's Stadium. The New England Patriots defeated the San Francisco 49ers 30-17. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s Deep Impact! This is going to be a short one as I recover from my two Thanksgiving feasts (just one of the many benefits of growing up as a child of divorce). As my arteries course with gravy, allow me to share some players that I’m thankful are available in less than 10% of Yahoo leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 12: Not At All Shady

November 26, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 13 Comments

by: Zach

nfl_a_mccoy01jr__r5192_576x324_16-9

Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of our Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em series.

Hopefully all of you had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday full of great family, friends, food and hockey! Can’t you believe that the Canadiens clawed out another close win against Carolina, and now they are 15-4-2! If only they could start Carey Price every game…. oh, and the Cowboys are 10-1 I guess. I dunno.

We are now one week away from being one week away from the fantasy playoffs, and I hope most of you (hopefully all?) are looking good for some fantasy postseason action, and if you aren’t, hopefully you are close! And if you are at the bottom of your league… well, there is always next year.

I can definitely say that I have greatly enjoyed my time here at Razzball currently over these past two years, and I believe this is a direct result of how awesome some of these writers are here. One of which being my good friend Tehol. Over these past two weeks, Tehol has finished 4th and 2nd out of all of the other experts in the FantasyPros rankings challenge, and I want to give him some mad props for it. If you are feeling good about your team, double-check some of your crucial week-to-week decisions with the Lord himself to get the edge on your competition. You won’t regret it.

Alright, enough jabber. Let’s get to Week 12!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Beyond the Numbers, Week 12: There’s a New Marshall in Town

November 25, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 8 Comments

by: Dominic Hall

brandon-marshall-120615-getty-ftrjpg_skqgvv624wn01h8n7akx28ske

Happy Black Friday everyone! Hopefully none of you guys got trampled getting all those deals, but come on, a $300 big screen TV is worth just about whatever it takes to get. If you’re like me and would rather not get run over by a shopping cart stampede, Cyber Monday is where it’s at. You can’t beat sitting on your butt and buying random items you don’t need just because they’re cheap. I may be a day late, but as tradition dictates, I like to give thanks to something every year. This year, I want to give my thanks to my man Jon Gruden for being the commentator on Monday Night Football. I mean, can you imagine Chris Collinsworth or Phil Simms getting that privilege? It’s bad enough we all had to sit through Rams v. 49ers this year, can you imagine it with one of them giving the play by play? Sorry, Halloween is long over. I shouldn’t subject anyone to such scary thoughts. Anyway onto the interesting guys of the week. Hope everyone’s still got a shot in their matchups after all the Thanksgiving Day games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

By The Numbers, Week 12: Ryan’s Hope

November 25, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 18 Comments

by: Mike Honcho

ORCHARD PARK, NY - SEPTEMBER 14: Ryan Tannehill #17 of the Miami Dolphins throws against the Buffalo Bills during the second half at Ralph Wilson Stadium on September 14, 2014 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

Welcome back to another action packed, fun-filled edition of By The Numbers. Hopefully you’ve had your fill of everything Thanksgiving, because the list of top-tier rushing and passing match ups this week is a bit thin. The Turkey-Day games definitely took some oomph out of the normal Sunday slate, but I’ll do my best to harvest a few gems to satisfy your fantasy football fetish. I do have to admit though, the Holidays just wear me out. I mean, the pressure of making everyone think you’ve established yourself as a normal, productive adult is a tall task. But trust me when I tell you that I’m incredibly consistent in my ability to disappoint friends and family alike. So I guess you could say this years Thanksgiving was another success?! Anyway, one other item that’s been consistent this year is the atrocious defensive play of the San Francisco 49ers. We’ll pick apart their rushing defense down below, but for the time being I’d like to discuss their 30th ranked pass defense. Yep, you know where I’m going with this… It’s Ryan Tannehill time and we should all rejoice! The 49ers are so bad they’re on my stream-against list every week. They’re giving up 19.8 fantasy points per game, which is good for fifth most in the league and they’ve allowed at least 10 points a each week to opposing QBs since Week 2. Tannehill is set up for a productive afternoon as the 49ers are allowing 252 yards passing per contest and they’ve handed out 23 passing scores (2nd most) against just seven interceptions this year. So, if you’re a fan of the 49ers, this might be a great afternoon to do something fun, like go for a bike ride or get back-out drunk and embarrass your immediate family. Anything to avoid this disaster that’s about to take place in South Florida. Until then, here’s a look at some more of my favorite plays this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?