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Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts who play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

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Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts who play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts who play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts wo play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts wo play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts who play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t be sad that the fantasy football season is over; be glad it happened in the first place. However, if you are among the many football enthusiasts who play dynasty-format fantasy football, you know the season never truly ends. So while we might be staring down the barrel of the NFL offseason, there’s plenty to […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unless you’ve been living under an Antonio Brown fart for the last month, you’re probably familiar with this whole Coronavirus outbreak. I know what you’re thinking, “Would living under an Antonio Brown fart bubble protect me from this virus?” We’ll have to consult the World Health Organization on that one. But here’s a better question: would you rather be enveloped in Antonio Brown’s ass-gas for the next six months or contract a life-threatening virus? Think on it.

Speaking of viruses, Raheem Mostert was sick during the NFL playoffs a few weeks back. Sick in the good way, like the kids say. I mean like the kids in the 90’s used to say.   

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Nicknames are fun. Especially when they’re natural, effortless and catch on; like Air Jordan, Refrigerator Perry or Squeak from Baseketball. Back in college they used to call me ‘Big Dumb Animal.’ It was accurate. Then a few years back I was out on the golf course and sunk a 15 foot putt to win a match and secure a decent chunk of change for my team. I tried to coin a new nickname: ‘Big Dick and Putts.’ It didn’t stick, but I tried.

Terry McLaurin is no stranger to the nickname game. It was a hot topic around the fantasy community during his rookie season. Many critics attempted to shoot down the unoriginal ‘Scary Terry’ nickname coined by Case Keenum in training camp, prompting alternate options: McLaurin F1, Touchdown Terry and, my personal favorite, Terrence of Scarabia. But I keep coming back around to the original-unoriginal nickname, because the visual of Scary Terry from Rick and Morty is just too good:

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I live in the Chicago area. Home of the Da Bears, Al Capone and deep dish pizza. When visiting the Windy City, most tourists these days are directed to dine at Lou Malnati’s Pizzeria for their deep dish experience. I’d be crazy to publicly bash Lou’s pizza; it’d be like calling Juju Smith-Schuster the #50 overall dynasty player. And that Lou Malanti’s butter crust is delicious, I won’t deny it.

 

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Remember in The Hangover when Alan started out as a one-man wolf pack? Then his sister brought Doug home and his wolf pack grew to two. Later Doug introduced Alan to Phil and Stu. And Alan found himself in a four-man wolf pack; four wolves running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.

Zach Ertz reminds me of lone-wolf Alan. In 2016 Ertz’s sister—Doug Pederson—brought home Carson Wentz and introduced the young QB to Ertz. And Ertz’s wolf pack grew from one to two. Then along came Dallas Goedert in 2018, and it became a three man wolf pack; three wolves running around Philadelphia together, looking for Cheesesteaks, strippers and cocaine.

But younger wolves in a pack never have quite the same connection as the original wolves. They have to work hard to prove themselves to the pack and gain their trust; even if they’re much more gifted at finding strippers and cocaine than some of the older wolves. And such is the life of Dallas Goedert.   

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