We are here today to point out the difference between the Razzball rankings and those that ESPN has released to the masses. The first difference you’ll probably notice is that there is no Mathew Berry in our rankings. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, I’ll let you decide. Because, hey, I’m just that kind of guy. Beyond that, well, ESPN certainly likes the color of red in their logo. RED EVERYWHERE. Well, touché, we also like a color. And that color is mustache, which is totally a color. Just ask Razzball founder Grey Albright. Not be outdone, I do run around with a five-day shadow on my face on most occasions, which technically counts as facial hair, and a mustache is also facial hair, ergo, the color of mustache. And sure, you could say that I’ve added some yellow to the palette with my face, but then you’d be raycess. Now that the main differences have been established, we’ll move on to things that are more fantasy relevant, well, depending on the type of fantasy that is. Hey now. So after you clear your internet history, we’ll be comparing our rankings to that of ESPN’s and their new “What the ef is this? Facebook? Are you serious” interface. Get yer knives ready!
Teddy Bridgewater (QB13 +5) – This is bound to happen with Yahoo (I actually haven’t looked into it yet, since that’s tomorrow’s project), but I think it’s safe to say that Teddy is “water under the bridge” for me. Oh god, did I just go Chris Berman? This is what I get for visiting ESPN. I understand that Bridgewater may be last year’s Ryan Mathews (one of my biggest ranking regrets from last season… or was it?), but there are a few things going for him. First, he’s not on the Chargers roster, certainly a plus for you. Second and Third and Fourth all go like this: Adrian Peterson, Charles Johnson, and Mike Wallace. He finally has weapons and I love the fact he grew as a quarterback in the second half last year. You can read the long version here, but suffice it to say, I like him. I like him a lot.
Colin Kaepernick (QB20 -5) – It’s interesting, because when I look up last year’s comparison, ESPN and I disagreed on Kaepernick by five spots as well. GUESS WHO WON THAT BATTLE? Regardless, the things I didn’t like roughly 365 days ago still are the same today, plus the team around him jumped in the dumpster and set themselves on fire. His mobility is a true fantasy asset, but with inconsistent accuracy mixed with an offense that only has Carlos Hyde and… uh. I don’t even know what else is there. Reggie Bush? Oh god. Alright, he still has Boldin and the addition of Torrey Smith, but they won’t do much if he throws 20 feet to the left of them every other down…
Roy Helu (RB48 +16) – I’m not saying Roy Helu is going to be a guy you want to start every Sunday (or Monday, Thursday, and probably that one weird Wednesday game), but I’m surprised that Helu isn’t being looked at as a solid bench guy. Plagued by one ridiculous coaching staff after another in Washington (and to be fair, some health issues), we’re still talking about a back with solid speed, good downfield running, and great pass-catching ability. I do like Latavius Murray, but this Oakland offense is being underrated and I think Helu will have enough volume and thrive in this system to be a tangible fantasy asset.
Theo Riddick (RB50 +4) – I seem to be the only person who likes Riddick (ESPN comes close), and I’m not sure why. Sure, Joique Bell is still around (though he’s having a rough preseason with a knee injury), and Ameer Abdullah is taking the spotlight away, but Riddick can be a solid bench piece for your team, especially in PPR formats. If you look back at what he did last year, it isn’t impressive, I agree, but when he actually started for Reggie Bush (during his annual “I strained something” injury), he essentially produced the same that Bush normally would. Here’s the proof. I just think, with running depth being especially shallow this year, guys like this on your bench are much more valuable than a guy like Mohamed Sanu.
Donald Brown (RB92 -23) – Uh…
Allen Hurns (WR47, +33) – I did want to talk about Andre Johnson being ranked criminally low by ESPN, but a rankings difference of 33 is just like your mom, a pretty big deal. It might be a team thing, as I also have Robinson ranked 12 spots higher, but Marqise Lee is out for who knows, which elevates Hurns and his big-play ability to the number two receiver slot. I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest Bortles fan, nor do I think the Jaguars are set to take the league by storm, but they are improving, and as a later-round flier, I don’t see much of a downside here.
Sammy Watkins (WR31, -14) – Pick your poison… Matt Cassel, Tyrod Taylor, or EJ Manuel. Yes, Sammy Watkins is immensely talented, but someone actually needs to get him the ball. And unless they just start handing it off to LeSean McCoy to lateral it to Watkins, I’m remaining somewhat bearish.
Others: Marques Colston (WR30, +9), Charles Johnson (WR44 -8), Steve Smith (WR33, +10), Torrey Smith (WR45 -11), Eddie Royal (WR40 +11), Roddy White (WR41 -8), Allen Robinson (WR17, +12), Andre Johnson (WR12, +12), Pierre Garçon (WR32 +14)
Heath Miller (TE15 +4) – ESPN generally agreed with most of my likes, so I struggled to find someone meaningful to talk about. Heath Miller is probably a streamer option, but he’s Big Ben’s best escape option next to a civil defense lawyer.
Vernon Davis (TE28 -8) – There are plenty of other tight ends that do everything better, so… like I said above, I had to really go fishing for any disagreement with our tight ends. And yes, that was innuendo. THAT’S WHY YOU CAME HERE, RIGHT? That was also quite possibly innuendo…