Well, we knew there’d be plenty of fantasy points scored in this Broncos vs Cowboys game. We had all those superstars. You know, Manning, Orange Julius, Welker, DT, Decker, Dez…hrm, it feels like I’m missing someone. Who could possibly still be left to talk about that’s fantasy relevant in a game like this? Answer: well, quite a few guys really but in reality very few people have talked about the under the radar performance of Tony Romo so far this year. It’s understandable. He’s not wowing anyone with his stats. In fact, he was being outscored by Alex Smith in QB scoring rankings for fantasy heading into Sunday. But then Romo done lost his mind. Tony threw for 506 total yards on the day, going 25/35 for 5 touchdowns and a 2 point conversion. Yes, yes, he threw a soul-crushing INT late in the game but you don’t lose more or less points based on how frustrating an INT is. Looking back where certain QBs went in your draft vs Romo, you have to ask yourself, ‘why did I spend all that on a QB when this was still out there?’. In reality, QB is a deep position so it’s hard to get too mad when days like this happen but the reality is Romo has been a consistent scorer for his owners most of this year and there’s no reason to think it can’t keep up. Ok, not 500 yards keep up but being startable most weeks keep up is still valid. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…
Alshon Jeffery – When ranking wideouts, it’s always a treacherous slope past about WR35 or so. Around there, you start dealing with the history of the players involved vs the young up and comers. Where do you start putting money down on upside? For me, Chris Givens seemed like a lock for stardom this year but what the crunk do I know? The reason I speak of Givens was I had him as the start of my ‘We Just Went Upside Ya Head’ tier this year. Though so far, he’s more class clown then valedictorian of this class, there were a few other guys I had good things to say about. Jeffery was one of them. And after a 10/218/1 game, I ask myself ‘how did I not get any shares of that?’. Answer: Chris Givens.
Rueben Randle – Ok, I did get a few shares of this guy so all’s not lost. In a game that I have to assume was played without secondaries for both teams – I didn’t watch so I can’t confirm that – Randle went for 6/96/2 and maybe saved a few teams from embarrassment. Yes, you read that right, I don’t predict a win. Did ya SEE my Chris Givens note? Hakeem Nicks was also there with a nice 9/142 line. Despite how poor the Eagles defense is, Eli Manning still found a way to not get Victor Cruz involved and throw 3 INT. Remember when they said Eli was better than his brother because he had 2 SB rings? Good times.
David Wilson – Don’t worry, D-Wil owning box-score watchers, D-Wil didn’t fumble and leave the game. No, no he got HURT and missed the game…ok, wait, I guess you should still be worried. But not as worried as if he fumbled. After going for 6/17/1, Wilson left in the second quarter with a neck injury. Later MRI’s revealed it was Tom Coughlin being a pain there. News is he’ll be fine moving forward. Or as fine as D-Wil with Coughlin can be.
Michael Vick – Left the game with hamstring issues in the second quarter but at least gave his owners 79 rushing yards before doing so. He’s 33 and a running QB who takes a lot of hits he doesn’t need to. Also a prime reason I said to sell early on him if you could. Hopefully he bounces back next week for you. Consider this a reminder how quickly you can go from a Vick-tory march to a Vick-tim of chance.
T.Y. Hilton – Derp, derp, derp, Darrius Heyward-Bey looks really good. Derp, derp, derp, DHB isn’t getting the job done. Derp, derp, derp, let’s get T.Y. more involved this week. In a nutshell, I just gave you the storyline to Hilton’s season in the voice of Indy coaches. After a 5/140/2 day, let’s hope they stop derping and start working at the Hilton more often. DHB, my hairy, pimpled a$$…
Ryan Fitzpatrick – Outscored Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Andrew Luck, Aaron Rodgers…eh, the list goes on. Sorry, didn’t mean to depress you. Just pointing out fake football has little to do with real football. He’s still Fitzcraptrick.
Pierre Thomas – This was the last thing I said about the Cruiser yesterday. To be fair, I had a hunch about Kenny Stills too so these hunches can’t be scientifically relied upon but with PT – 91 total yards and 2 touchdowns to go with 9 receptions – I think I like what my gut was telling me. Kenny Stills musta just been bubble guts.
Jamaal Charles – Another week, another 100+ yard performance and a TD. Oddly, today was his first 100 yard rushing game as he went for 108 on the ground to go with 5/37 through the air. I put him as a top 3 back this year ahead of guys like CJ Spiller and you scoffed. You scoffers! Still plenty of season to go but I’m sure the pace he’s on – 2,070 total yards, 16 TDs and 89 receptions – is treating those who believed well.
Dez Bryant – Went for 6/141/2. There’s not much to say about a stud being a stud. Usually only mention them when they’re stunods but when your QB throws for 500, someone has to catch it.
Jason Witten – Had 7/121/1. See a few inches above. This is an obligatory blurb. Now I can move on.
Peyton Manning – Finally threw an INT on the year but finished the day with 414 passing yards, 4 passing TDs and one rushing TD that Moreno could’ve walked in himself. It’s scary we’ve come to expect this from Manning without asking questions at this point. The fact he wasn’t even the highest scoring QB on the day is probably even more amazing. Why can’t you be more like Romo!
Russell Wilson – Now when I put Wilson in the ‘ZZ Top’ tier – cuz he’s got legs and he knows how to use them – a lot of people said ‘Wilson isn’t a running QB’. I said ‘O Rly?’ and they said ‘Ya Rly!’. After 102 rushing yards, he’s in the top 5 with a bullet for QB rushing yards. He’s now on pace for 650 rushing yards on the year, actually 100 yards over the pace I had him down for. No rly!
Andrew Luck – Bad matchup? Who cares. My last name is Luck. It always rolls my way. I keed. Luck looked the best he’s looked this season. Here’s to that keeping up from here on out.
Chris Johnson – I said CJzeroK would have a good day. The stats say he did but the stats lie. That was terrible and I shall officially never go against the Chiefs dominant defense again. Just glad it turned out alright for owners who started him. See? I brag above but humble myself afterwards. It’s very yin/yang of me, I know. Oooohmmmmm…
Justin Blackmon – Welcome back to the NFL, Justin. After a 5/136/1 day, for Blackmon and a 5/74/1 day for Shorts – not to mention 86 total yards from MJD – it’s a nice dream to think the Baguars will turn the corner. But just remember this was against a Rams team that has looked horrible since week 2 on. If someone wanted to buy any of these guys near their pricing on draft day, I’d be willing to listen.
Zac Stacy – Got the lion’s share of carries – Don’t tell Bush & Bell that – in Saint Louis today and went for 78 yards on 14 carries. But here’s the but: D-Rich had 13 carries for 48. Yes, yes I know Stacy left the game late with a rib injury but they were splitting carries well before that. Moving forward, my guess is Stacy still keeps the bulk of the workload with D-Rich getting involved on passing plays and runs to the outside. It’s still not a backfield I wanna get involved with. Wanna know a backfield I’d like to be in? Jessica Biel. Hey now! Just trying to give JT some more writing material for his next album.
Terrance Williams – I did a late rankings wiggle up the draft board for Terrance once I heard Austin was going to be out and put him around 26 or 27. Guess I should’ve wiggled him a little higher. Williams went for 4/151/1 and a 2 point conversion to compete with the Dez-troyer for fantasy relevance on the day. Moving forward, it’s gonna be hard to gauge Terrance’s value with all of this action happening with Miles out but let’s hope he stays out on the field like this and doesn’t go back to his day job.
Calvin Johnson – Was a surprise out for this week’s game against the Packers. Ever wondered how the Lions would look on offense against a so-so defense without Megatron? You got your answer. Why would you ever want to see that? You’re sick.
DeSean Jackson – As mentioned previously, there was little to no defense in that PHI vs NYG game. Being the only true passing target in a game and still coming away with a 7/132/1 line kinda proves that. Before you ask, yes I still like DJax even if Foles has to take over next week. LeSean too. Less Vick runs equals more opportunities for the other guys to shine. Oh and yes, if Vick misses a lot of time, I do like Foles in 2 QB leagues.
Knowshon Moreno – I know, I know, this type of production is hard to trust when it’s coming from this guy but he ran well for his 19/93/1 line and even chipped in 5/57. Now on pace for 1,060 on the ground, 406 through the air, 41 receptions and nearly 13 TDs. Yes, he’s outscoring ‘that back you took in the first 4 rounds’. I don’t know what his name is, that blanket statement probably works for about a million teams. Especially the ones that drafted Ball early. OH SNAP!
Torrey Smith – Went for 6/121. Yeah, I said you could get Torrey numbers out of Chris Givens this year. Yes, I’m never going to let myself live it down. May I have another lashing, sir?
Randall Cobb – Had more rushing yards – 72 on 2 carries – than he had receiving with 4/35. There’s literally zero fantasy relevance to me pointing it out. Just wanted to say, ‘Isn’t that weird?’
Austin Pettis – I was pretty mad at Sam Bradford heading into today. After throwing to nearly everyone that isn’t owned on the Rams today (Lance Kendricks also scored a touchdown), I’m ready to rage quit on him after a 4/49/2 line from Austin. Like that lady with the sideburns out on a date with the guy with a comb-over and a neck beard, ugly attracts ugly. I’m not here to judge, just pointing out that I wish I had zero shares in STL at this point. CTRL+ALT+DEL my season, STAT.
Ray Rice – Ray Ray dropped a nice fantasy statline on his owners today, going for 104 total yards and 2 TDs along with 6 receptions. He’s still not even averaging 3 yards per carry, though, so it’s hard to get too excited despite the production. Meanwhile, Pierce ran for 46 on 11, Flacco managed to throw zero touchdowns and one interception and Baltimore still won. That’s so Ravens!
Julius Thomas – The game isn’t even over and he’s already leading all TEs in scoring on the week in standard leagues as of 2:50 PST. Yes, even Jimmy Graham. I drafted Jared Cook all over the place. @)()[email protected]_)H*()U(HJ)…sorry, that was me slamming my keyboard down repeatedly.
Charles Clay – Keeps producing and now has 3 straight weeks with a TD. I know the ride can’t keep going on for forever but in PPR leagues, it’s time to start thinking of him as a weekly option. No, I’m not joking. Yes, I really wish I was.
Mike Wallace – Still extremely hit and miss. This week was a hit with 7 for 105. Next week will be a miss by default. Yes, I know it’s a bye week. That just means he’ll be a hit on week 7. It’s science.
Josh Freeman – Wasn’t playing on Sunday but was ‘playing the field’ if ya know what I’m sayin…yeah, he was trying to pick a team. He went with the Vikings, which wouldn’t have been my choice for him but I play this for fantasy and fun and not for common sense. He’s the polar opposite of Ponder’s limp noodle. Like a lone fireman trying to harness the fire hose, he’s got a cannon but he’s got zero aim. Then again, can it get worse for the #skols? When you’re deciding between Christian and Cassel weekly the answer is ‘eh, prolly not’.
JayWrong Doubleheader – Jay’s Chargers are on after Late Night w/Jimmy Kimmel so he said he’d pull the all-nighter to squeeze in both matchups. He’s that dedicated. And that much of a San Diego homer. Don’t act like you’re not impressed! Thanks Jay, it’s hard getting my beauty rest during the regular season and if you’ve seen pictures, you’d understand; I need it.