kelley

If you’re like me and you’re not into the current political talk, boy have I got a great read for you. I promise the most election-like references I’ll make in the entire post have to do with locker room politics. Instead, let me focus on the cause of what’s wrong with football lately, Roger Goodell. The man in the high castle seems to be too busy counting all the TV revenue money and player fines to worry about how bad ratings are. But don’t we, the public, deserve more from one of the most influential sports in America? I can’t be the only one eating member berries and thinking back to the good ole’ days. Remember when players were free to take cheerleader pom poms for a dance and pull out phones to call and tell their buds they scored? Hell, if Goodell is afraid of “sportsmanship” maybe he ought to implement a more stringent policy on performance enhancing drugs. You know, like the HGH policy that hasn’t caught a single player since the rule’s inception. Hopefully, we can make football great again someday soon and start the fun again. Till then, I guess dancing at home when your sketchy Flex play scores is going to have to do. I’ll do my part and give you a few names to help get you to that victory dance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

A lot of people come to me and ask “How should I go about drafting a kicker?”. And I respond, “Really bro, that’s what you want to talk about?” Actually, not really. None of that ever happens, and there’s a good reason for that. First, I’m always in my mom’s basement, so no one really comes up to me to ask about anything. Secondly, no one actually cares about kickers. Okay, okay, there are *some* people who draft kickers for one reason or another, but all those reasons are wrong. The Razzball approved strategy here is: Don’t be that guy you know. Which I guess is the opposite of Velveeta’s slogan. We aim high here folks. Look, they are what they are, and that’s a low-tier position on the totem pole of fantasy football. And that’s no joke, because the totem pole exists. Somewhere in New Mexico, with the face of Roger Goodell and Cobra Commander. Hail HYDRA!, amiright? Anyhow, let’s go over a few things about this position (that’s what she said), and then rank-o-rama starts. Prepare your alcoholic beverages…

Despite how irrelevant I think the position is, it still is a position, and this being ‘rankings’ time, we must go forth and use a numerical system to place these kickers in order. And then have a knife fight right afterwards. Sounds exciting, right? Probably just the knives part…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Food, football, family and friends. I hope everyone had a healthy, happy and safe Thanksgiving. I recently caught up with Razzball’s own Tehol Beddict and Doug Moore on Twitter about what they are thankful for in 2015.

Me: What are you thankful for this year Tehol? The new Concussion movie? Because the NFL isn’t thankful for that.

Tehol: My new job that has totally ruined my life in every way possible.

I’m pretty confident in that he isn’t talking about Razzball. However, if he is, I would lay off the comments. Just kidding, pepper the man with questions. I then quickly reached out to Doug.

Me: What are you thankful for this year?

Doug: In all seriousness? I’m thankful for my family, friends, my girlfriend, the job I have and my co-workers.

I have two issues with this statement. First, he thinks I’m kidding, and possibly a goofy guy? I’m very offended at this generalization. I am very serious. Example A. My second issue? Doug is way too nice and serious guy, and needs to realize that there are more important things in life than family and jobs.

He quickly realized.

Doug:  Oh, and for football and fantasy football as well.

Let’s review Week 11…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s the saying again?  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Or, should I say, Foles me once and twice.  Last time I picked Nick Foles as a streamer, he kind of spit the bed, if you will.  Now, it’s tempting to go with him again in Green Bay, as the opposing quarterback puts up good fantasy numbers be default thanks to Aaron Rodgers being locked in at home. But no.  Not this time, though I would consider him if I needed someone. This week, both of the top streamer quarterbacks come from the same game in Kansas City.  Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, my friend from college sent me a photo today of a T-shirt.  Now, I don’t know if it’s because he saw my lineup fail miserably in FanDuel, if he read my column last week, or if he just knows that I love anything fantasy related.  The shirt read as follows: “The process was correct, F*ck you, Nick Foles.” Co-sign, T-shirt maker. The last comment I got on my streamers column last week was, “Want to get away? SMH.”  Yes, kind sir, I was shaking my head too, because while the calls were correct (remember, this IS a streamers column, meaning they are far from a sure thing), the advice didn’t work out.  Ryan Fitzpatrick, meh.  Nick Foles?  No thanks, bro.

So I don’t need to get away, but I will get back to business this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s crazy, right?  The NFL season is here.  Your drafts and auctions are done, so it’s just time to set your lineups for Week 1 with one game in the bag already in Foxboro.  I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.  OKAY, enough Taylor Swift.  I don’t know about you, but I’m sad that draft season is over.  It’s by far my favorite time in the fantasy football season.  The mocks, the snake drafts, the slow-play drafts, the auctions, the scouting reports and all of the news leading up to the season can’t be matched.  Now, it’s time for luck to kick in and play the big part that it does each football season. Each week, I’ll be highlighting different streamers that fantasy players should look at for the upcoming week at quarterback, tight end, defense and kicker.  Obviously, some of the guys I write about won’t be available in your league.  We do all play in different league sizes and rules, after all.  So, if I write about Andy Dalton one week, just shoot me a comment below with your question and I’ll be more than happy to help there.

Let’s get things going, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?