Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

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Last week I went over the top 25 for 2020 dynasty football. I’m still reeling from the harassment my Kerryon Johnson ranking provoked, yet the show must go on. But first, to answer a few questions from the audience regarding my top 25: Yes, I am an idiot; No, Joe Mixon did not kick my puppy; Yes, Kerryon Johnson is my cousin; And no, I’m not involved in a sexual relationship with my cousin, Kerryon Johnson. Anyway, today I’ll take a break from the intensive Peyronie’s Disease treatment I’m now receiving and go over the top 50 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

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Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we will look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out. Stats courtesy of PlayerProfiler.com.

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Have you heard Kyler Murray was not only the #1 overall pick in the 2019 NFL draft but also the #9 overall pick in the 2018 MLB draft? Of course you’ve heard, you haven’t been living under an Antonio Brown fart for that last five months. Wait, you HAVE been living under an Antonio Brown fart for the last five months?! What was it like under there? How did you survive? Tell me everything! Oh right, Kyler Murray—he’s an incredible athlete on par with the Deshaun Watsons and Lamar Jacksons of the world. Murray flashed his freak athleticism this week against the stout 49ers defense going 24/33 for 150 yards with 2 passing touchdowns while tacking on 8 carries for 67 yards and a rushing touchdown. Kyler Söze now has 14 passing touchdowns and 3 rushing touchdowns on the season as he led the Cardinals in a valiant effort against the first place 49ers,  falling just shy of a huge upset. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:  

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Patrick Mahomes made his triumphant return to the Chiefs’ lineup on Sunday and he did not disappoint. On his first throw he didn’t look like he was moving around very well and threw what looked like an interception, but it ended up getting overturned to a completion. After that, he looked like the same ol’ Patty. Andy Reid was not at all shy about his usage either. Mahomes attempted 50 passes and completed 36 of them for 446 yards and 3 touchdowns.

It really helps to have Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce to throw to. Tyreek Hill saw a remarkable 19 targets and caught 11 of them for 157 yards and a touchdown. Travis Kelce caught all 7 of his targets for 75 yards. Mecole Hardman absolutely turned on the burners for his 63 yard touchdown catch. Having two of the fastest wide receivers in the league is paying off for the Chief’s offense. Unfortunately, we have the Chief’s defense, and we also have the turnover prone running backs on this roster. While Damien Williams did reach over 100 total yards, he had a costly fumble that might have put him in the doghouse with Andy Reid. I’m not quite sure what his other options are though.

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As we march towards Week 14 and the start of the fantasy playoffs, this week will be a crucial one for many owners. With 6 NFL teams on bye, there are a bunch of stars that we need to find replacements for. We’ll be giving some extra attention to some players that wouldn’t normally ever sniff our starting lineups.

Let’s get to the rest of this week’s matchups, and talk about some players we should start, and those we should keep on our bench.

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Every time that we start to wonder about how good the Texans are, they come out and have an impressive performance. The Jaguars historically play really well in London games, but the Watt-less Texans still lived in Minshew’s grill. Minshew followed up a great game against the Jets the previous week with a stinker against a defense that is susceptible to the passing game. The Jaguars will head into the bye and have to decide if Foles is going to take his job back. If I were the Jags, I’d be putting Foles back under center. The last wild card spot in the AFC might only require 9 wins. The division crown is definitely an uphill climb after dropping both games against the division-leading Texans, but getting to 9 wins is definitely in play. 

The early games had some key injuries to the fantasy football world. Jacoby Brissett left the game against the Steelers in the second quarter with an MCL injury. Adam Thielen tried to give it a go with his bum hamstring, but he didn’t make it out of the first quarter. DeSean Jackson’s return in his first game since week 1 was short lived as he left early with an abdomen injury. Here is what else I saw during the early slate of games on Sunday. 

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I noted last week that I was looking forward to using the mid-season NFL point to provide a note or blurb on every team. I’ve started with 16 teams and will complete the rest of the league next week. It was honestly a fun exercise. I often get stuck in the week to week grind of the NFL season and forget to look ahead to take advantage of buy/sell opportunities, bottom of the barrel waiver wire options, and trying to catch trends before they happen. Hopefully, there is something in every one of these teams that you can use either in season-long fantasy, DFS, or in your “office pool”.

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I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween and you get to pick out the good stuff from your kids’ candy bag. Man, even if you don’t have kids, I hope you bought the kind of candy that YOU like to hand out to trick-or-treaters. Two for me, one for you. That’s how this works. I spent my Halloween by drinking beers in my friend’s garage while the kids went out into the world, but after that, I took a private jet to the first annual mid-season Razzballies. It was a glorious event and all of the best and worst of fantasy football came out. Ezekiel Elliott was there in a cutoff shirt. Dwayne Bowe received a lifetime achievement award. Each winner received a different phallic trophy that was uniquely designed by our own Donkey Teeth. I made it just in time to catch all of the major awards and here is what I saw.

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