Below is an exclusive profile of our Week 3 Razzbowl leader, Joey Wright, who has worn many hats outside of the awkward wool sombrero we make the Razzbowl leaders wear. Joey has been a therapist for goldfish, a ferret groomer, and he holds the movie Frozen 2 in high regard. As we got to know each other on Twitter, I conducted this completely accurate and real interview with him wherein he revealed some of his deepest fantasies…FANTASY FOOTBALL! Come on!

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It’s starting to feel more like football season, eh? The SEC is back, the Big 12 is playing in conference games, and the Big Ten is now under a month away from football. If that’s not enough for you, the NFL is sizzling through two weeks and we are on to week 3. I have far fewer complaints about the level of play than I thought I would and I am thrilled about it. Do you all remember the first weeks of the officiating strike a few years back? Do you remember how watching football wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as a result? That is sort of what I was expecting, but here we are. The quality of play is fine, our star players are dynamic. The injury bug was bad last week, but if 2020 has taught us anything; if there is a sliver of hope for normalcy, you just have to embrace it. 

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are joined by one of our new Razzball writers, Bobby Lamarco. We ask Bobby about the recent LeSean McCoy signing and what we each expect it to mean for the Tampa RB situation. We also talk about Damien Williams recent opt out for the 2020 season and where we’re willing to draft Clyde Edwards-Helaire now. 

We move on to talk about our individual #RazzBowl draft starts. Bobby and B_Don go RB heavy early, while Donkey Teeth is taking a bit of a different approach. Bobby asks DT about his selection of Miles Sanders at 5, and what his projections look like for Sanders. 

Finally, we ask Bobby about his initial column series covering, well, shadow coverage. Bobby explains how he plans to use his shadow coverage research for both in-season and during the draft process. We ask him about his in depth research about Stefon Diggs, and we look how shadow coverage may affect the 49ers receiving situation in general. 

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Every year there are a handful of players that can elevate a fantasy team to the championship or sink them to the depths of the standings. All players are unique in their skill sets, team context, and career trajectory but some profiles do line up. 

As we get into draft season, we’re all searching for value. However value alone rarely wins fantasy championships! What is needed is a shooting star who not only outperforms their ADP but gives elite fantasy production even in a vacuum. To put it simply, outliers win titles. So while I frequently don’t plan on unsustainable efficiency when selecting players, I understand that we should pick guys who have a path to explode. 

So who will be this year’s all NEXT team?

Lamar Jacksonyoung quarterback who becomes a weekly star

Joe Burrow – ADP QB18, 166 overall

To be honest, there is no one like Jackson. Not only is his running talent unmatched, there is also no offense that will sell out their scheme to support his game the way the Ravens have. However Burrow will walk into an offense with a good supporting cast and a bad defense. He had the most efficient college season ever and that bodes well for a quick transition to the NFL. Burrow is likely to challenge Baker Mayfield’s rookie touchdown record and can chip in 20 yards on the ground every week which adds up. 

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As we head into draft season, everyone loves making their sleeper list and dreaming of being in on the next Austin Ekeler. However with all the chatter on social media and the endless stream of fantasy websites, “sleepers” have almost become extinct. There is no such thing as a mid-to-late round guy that no one is excited about. All your favorite sneaky plays are also your friends’ sneaky plays. Therefore you’ll have to reach up and take one a round early, which renders the pick less valuable.

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Deep in the hills of Los Angeles, there is a sacred space of learning that the kids call, “UCLA.” For those not familiar with the nature of university, it is like a bank where you can keep borrowing money no matter how bad your report card is. On the outskirts of UCLA, there is a junction where students spend their borrowed money. Hip shoppers stop at the Whole Foods, put their Chase Sapphire cards into a point-of-sale machine, and smile with maskless glee as the POS takes nine bucks from their account for a single watermelon. Across the street, there’s an In-N-Out, where students shout “ANIMAL STYLE” and wait for their slathered beef like it was the first co-ed on screen in a slasher film. 

In the winter, the Rose Bowl celebrates the imagined paradise that is California: the orange groves, the rose gardens, the summer nights on the beach with a Mai Tai. The RazzBowl, however, celebrates the real paradise that is California: Raiders Chargers Rams greasy burgers and expensive watermelons. And just like your friends want you to come out for one more $15 Mai Tai before taking the Uber to your dad’s condo, the RazzBowl wants you on board for the wildest ride in fantasy football. 

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Since time immemorial tight ends have perplexed the world. We all know you want an end that’s tight, but how tight is too tight? The great Albert Einstein tackled this enigma with his theory of relativity, where he concluded Darren Waller epitomizes the perfect balance of tightness and plumpness in the end department. And who is Donkey Teeth to argue with genius Einstein? Waller’s an adonis of a man, and well endowed too.

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back with another podcast episode to discuss DT’s dynasty QB and TE rankings. They start with the QB position and discuss their different tendencies toward more rush heavy or pass heavy QBs in dynasty. Additionally, the guys talk their appetite for starting a dynasty roster with an elite QB and an elite TE, and which players would be worth taking early. 

B_Don brings up a few top 10 dynasty QBs for DT that they have differing opinions about their future. Starting with Kyler jumping up to 3, Josh Allen coming in at 6, and then Baker even being in the top 10 QBs. After we go through those 3, DT admits his love for the ‘stache while B_Don is less enamored with facial hair.  

At TE, we start with a discussion about whether Kittle belongs in his own tier as the sole elite dynasty TE. We check in on the second tier and discuss DT’s boy Waller and why he has him over Mark Andrews. Overall, the duo talk about the TE tiers and how they could be arranged. We go on to discuss the Bucs, Rams, and Jets TE situations, with varying opinions on where those TEs should fit in the rankings. 

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In my post-NFL Draft quest to update all of my 2020 dynasty rankings I’ve finally come to tight ends. And you know what I’ve always said about tight ends. Better than loose ends! Rob Gronkowski has the tightest of ends, and he wasn’t leaving any loose ends in his legacy with Brady. Weaving the Gronk into these rankings in the wake of his comeback wasn’t easy due to his wide range of outcomes. But as Big Daddy Kane once said, “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.” Anyway, here’s those sweet, sweet updated top 15 tight ends for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

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Quarantine Day 27:

Hey all you cool cats and kittens. Did you see the story about the tiger at the Bronx Zoo that tested positive for coronavirus? Very sad. I blame Carole Baskin. Not just for the infection of this poor feline, but for the entire COVID debacle. Speaking of which, the CDC just released some new guidelines and in order to receive a COVID-19 test in the United States you must now meet at least one of these requirements:

     a) Politician

     b) Professional athlete (Major League Soccer doesn’t count)

     c) Movie star (Porn does count)

     d) Valued tiger at the zoo

And if you check all four boxes the CDC even throws in a free roll of TP. So far only one man has cashed in on that free roll of one-ply: my preferred 2020 presidential candidate, Darren Waller. Anyway, here’s my top 15 dynasty tight ends for 2020 fantasy football:

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