Welcome to the Blurbpocalypse, a portmanteau so clumsy that it finally killed the word “Listicle.” We killed a word that has haunted the internet since the very beginnings of time (My kid still can’t conceive of the small portion of my early childhood where every home didn’t have computers/tablets/phones, so I’ve given up explaining the Internet-less world. Zounds, olde fowlkes must ha’e been sinfully bored, what wit the lack o’ 5G)! The aforementioned Blurbpocalypse happens twice a year, once in the MLB and once in the NFL, at the beginning of each league’s season. Teams finalize rosters, which means we collectively scroll through a pantfull of blurbs that look like this:
Sylvester Stone released by the Rams
Stone showed some flashes of his college years over the summer but was unable to carry it into the preseason. Stone was trying to make it a Family Affair, as Los Angeles initially drafted him. Unfortunately, due to some off-the-field issues, the team couldn’t Stand to wait for Stone to get back in shape. Stone released a brief statement: “Thank You (Falletinme Be Mice Elf, Again).
Please, blog, may I have some more?