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Hey guys! I’m glad to be back after a week off in which I took the ACT, but now I cannot wait to jump into Week 8 of the NFL season. Big thanks to the main man MB for taking over this column last week, he absolutely nailed it with some of the selections, most notably Jameis Winston and his dominating performance against the 49ers. But I’m still better-looking.

Anyway, I had to miss last week due to my taking of the ACT test, which reminded me of Fantasy Football. We prepare as long and as hard as we can, even maybe spending money to prep for the test, yet we still do not know what will be on it: so we need to not only be prepared for it, and we need some luck on our side. It helps if we also can pull off at least one lopsided. But I don’t know how that last statement refers to the ACT, but at least we got it out of the way.

This week kinda marks the halfway point of the year. Leave a comment down below of what your record is, and if I and this column, or even Razzball in general has contributed to your success. Or declines. Accentuate the positive.

Of first matchup of Week 8 comes between two styles of football in the AFC. One marked by a solid defensive unit, and on offense, marked by a traditional conservatism offensive attack, and in turned, marked by strength at the HB position. Then we have the Colts…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I need to keep reminding myself to love every moment of football, because whether I want to believe it or not, we’re almost a quarter of the way through the NFL season.

I always like this time of the year. For me, October 1st marks the official start of fall. Yes, yes, I know about the Fall Solstice, or whatever it is called nowadays, and I understand that in most parts of the country it is starting to feel a little chilly, but you have to remember, I live in Tampa! It’s 96 degrees and sunny! Meanwhile, I am forced to eat cinnamon cookies, listen to Charlie Brown songs, and surf through NFLShop.com’s pink selections for BCA month. I can only do this for so long before I go hit some tennis in situations where if I do not drink water, I would not be writing this intro. You know what I mean?

Here we have the first game of the month of October. It’s time to crank up some “Autumn Wind” NFL Films music, and get ourselves in prime positioning to make an impact in our leagues and get to 4-0. Or at least 3-1. For any of you guys that are 0-3 thus far, remember that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

We start this week in a situation like Tampa, in beautiful San Diego, where the only weather is either hot or mildly hot. I think that’s right, but a pretty hasty generalization at that. I’ve never been to San Diego, but I hear good things! *Author’s Note* – I have never once heard anything about San Diego. Oh well.

A bad thing about football are the injuries of the game and its impact on the given team it affects. Good thing for us, regardless of their current record, the Chargers have had a very high-paced and prolific offensive attack despite their injuries to Danny Woodhead and Keenan Allen, thanks in large part to their second-year breakout back.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

A lot of people come to me and ask “How should I go about drafting a kicker?”. And I respond, “Really bro, that’s what you want to talk about?” Actually, not really. None of that ever happens, and there’s a good reason for that. First, I’m always in my mom’s basement, so no one really comes up to me to ask about anything. Secondly, no one actually cares about kickers. Okay, okay, there are *some* people who draft kickers for one reason or another, but all those reasons are wrong. The Razzball approved strategy here is: Don’t be that guy you know. Which I guess is the opposite of Velveeta’s slogan. We aim high here folks. Look, they are what they are, and that’s a low-tier position on the totem pole of fantasy football. And that’s no joke, because the totem pole exists. Somewhere in New Mexico, with the face of Roger Goodell and Cobra Commander. Hail HYDRA!, amiright? Anyhow, let’s go over a few things about this position (that’s what she said), and then rank-o-rama starts. Prepare your alcoholic beverages…

Despite how irrelevant I think the position is, it still is a position, and this being ‘rankings’ time, we must go forth and use a numerical system to place these kickers in order. And then have a knife fight right afterwards. Sounds exciting, right? Probably just the knives part…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I took the week off last week, and it was for a good reason, mind you.  I didn’t play any DFS, but I did play my regular seasonal leagues.  However, I wasn’t active on the waiver wire. You could say I took the week off from writing the streamers column, but I also wrote streamers off in my personal life, too.  I got to marry my best friend this past weekend, and it was amazing. [Jay’s Note: Congrats!]  I’m back on the grid now, and I’ll be looking at the waiver wire for my column each week, but I have my lineup cemented in my personal life for good. Let’s get to it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a very interesting week. Big Ben could be out multiple weeks, Latavius Murray had a great game, Ryan Mathews had a great game when DeMarco was out, and Blount-Forced-Trauma was in full effect. And Buffalo took advantage of Miami without even buying a drink or driving her home. C’mon Rex Ryan. Be classy. Just like your coaches when you were representing the Green and White. Wisconsin beat Hawaii 28-0, if I am correct. Star running back Corey Clement is being selfish and needs surgery. He could be out 4-6 weeks, which got me thinking. Good for you, Razzball readers of these weekly articles. You guys don’t need injuries, because every week is like a new season. But you already knew that, because Fanduel never has commercials. This week’s (Starting This Week) Tip of the Cap goes to Oakland CB Charles “Chuck” Woodson. What a game-winning interception he had last Sunday to seal the victory against the Browns. His kids demanded, and he put the team on his back. Good for you Chuck. Oh, and before I forget. I don’t always write about how much I love Carson Palmer week to week. I figured you guys had enough. So just as an FYI, if you can put Carson Palmer in your lineup, put Carson Palmer in your lineup. I may not talk about how much I love Carson Palmer, but I do love Carson Palmer each and every week. I love you Carson Palmer.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?