It was an ugly end to an ugly game. The talk of the town this morning is how long Myles Garrett should be suspended by the NFL. Baker even brought up a suspension in the post game interview. Striking Mason Rudolph with his own helmet is one of the most malicious acts that we’ve seen on the field in a very long time. If there is even a little bit of humor in what occurred; trust me there isn’t much, it was Mason Rudolph throwing his hands up to the ref IMMEDIATELY after the helmet hits him.

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Injuries on the last drive of a football game can be one of the most frustrating parts about fantasy football. You’re at home rolling your eyes with your victory already in the bag wondering why James Conner is still out there with a two touchdown lead over the winless Dolphins. Then it actually happens and your jaw drops and you go numb. James Conner gets up grimacing and holding his slumped shoulder.

It’s hard to get upset from an actual football perspective. The Steelers are 1 first down away from the victory formation and Conner had been running all over the Dolphins all night. Conner just ran into some bad luck. Conner also seems to always be banged up in one way or another. He’s had an ankle issue, a quad issue, and now an AC joint issue and we are only about halfway through the season. I’m not sure what the recovery timetable is for AC joint injuries is, or if he’ll miss any time at all. It’s definitely something we’re going to have to monitor as the week goes along.

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While there were some trouble spots, Week 5 was generally pretty quiet for most teams in the NFL…. except for one in particular, who are missing a bunch of offensive stars before their Thursday Night Football clash. Good thing they’re facing the… *checks notes* New England Patriots and their tough defense. That should be fun! Let’s see if we can accentuate any positives while addressing the rest of the league.

Let’s talk about some of the players who landed on the injury report this week.

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Falcons are a protected species in the United States, but over in India they actually have an annual two-week falcon hunt where thousands upon thousands of falcons are massacred each year. It was on a pilgrimage to the Taj Mahal that Will Fuller developed a taste, or rather an addiction, to these beautiful birds of prey. So when the Falcons glided into Houston on Sunday, they never stood a chance against the bloodthirsty Fuller as he went off for 217 yards on 14 catches with his first 3 touchdowns of the season. The Texans wide receiver will now go into hiding for several weeks as the authorities attempt to track him down for his foul treatment of the fowl. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

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People can’t stop talking about the Arizona Cardinals. I’ve seen people refer to the Cardinals offense as the horizontal raid. I’ve seen people say the success is bubbling. I’ve seen people pointing to the schedule whilst saying, “September is hard, October is easy.” It seems that the expected range of outcomes remains as wide as ever. This variance in opinions has encouraged me to breakdown what I believe is happening and what the future looks like for the Arizona offense to lead off this week’s article.

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Of course Ronald Jones II is not rushing for 2,000 yards this season…but could he next season? Magic Eight Ball says ‘Not bloody likely’ (I have the British version). That’s a lot to put on a guy who looked like hot garbage (which smells way worse than cold garbage, hence its greater usage?) his rookie season, and now that he’s had 3 out 4 productive games this season, anything is possible. He’s the top add this week.

RJ2K would be based on CJ2K, or Chris Johnson 2,000 yards rushing, which seems like it happened a lifetime ago but was really only ten years ago. Furthermore, CJ2K was such a lazy nickname. Nothing is lamer than easy nicknames, like ARod and any variation on it. As sport consumers we should all demand better nicknames.

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Somebody had to win last night, or at the very least, both teams couldn’t lose. Our hope that our weekly evening spent with Booger would end with an entertaining game at the very least did not come to fruition. In fact, I turned this catastrophe off after the 3rd quarter. I love watching football as much as anybody, but I couldn’t stomach another second of this game. As sparse as the fantasy tidbits were on Monday night, let’s run through any and all implications. It will be a miracle if this ends up being 500 words.

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Marlon Mack was initially thought to have been ruled out due to an ankle injury during Sunday’s game against Oakland. Colts head coach Frank Reich clarified that Mack was not medically ruled out. Mack was forced on the sideline due to a negative game script. Marlon Mack will be dealing with an injury designation throughout the course of this week again. Forcing fantasy owners to play chicken with their lineups, but Macks injury isn’t expected to keep him out of his week-5 matchup. Nyheim Hines was the preferred back and catch-up game script favorite playing from behind early in the 1st quarter. Hines finished the game with 35 snaps to Macks 18, and Jordan Wilkins 16. Recording 6 receptions on 6 targets, Hines’ role was solidified as the receiving play back. Unfortunately neither of the 3 IND backs turned in a serviceable fantasy outing. Mack hasn’t played a full 16 games since joining the Colts and has surfaced on the injury report for two injuries 4 weeks into the season (calf/ankle). Mack owners need to consider rostering either Jordan Wilkins or Nyheim Hines, as insurance. Jordan Wilkins is averaging an impressive 8.1 yards per carry and will be the early down/goal line back if Mack were to go down for any period of time.

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Another week, another group of hot Wide Receivers to add! Hold up you say, the top player in Fantasy went down for 4-8 weeks, so isn’t his backup the add of the week? Let me direct you to 2017, Week 6, where Wayne was the lede. That was two years ago! He did nothing back then to warrant the job, then the next season the Giants drafted Saquon Barkley, and Gallman was forgotten. He should continue to be; don’t waste your money even as a Saquon owner. Furthermore, Gallman with a rookie QB? No thanks (even though Jones did have a great game on Sunday).

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It wasn’t well reported by the mainstream media, but prior to week one Mike Evans gave a sample of his secret family sausage recipe to Jameis Winston. When Winston inserted the mystery meat into his mouth, the funkiness he tasted was beyond words. Jameis was so offended by the foul tasting wiener, he vowed to look to Chris Godwin before Evans on every pass play for two weeks. Then, earlier this week Mike Evans tweaked the family sausage recipe and placed the new wiener into his quarterbacks’ hands. The fresh Evans man meat was so juicy and flavorful, Jameis was addicted!

Needless to say, Winston adjusted his game plan for week three targeting Mike Evans 15 times against the New York Giants. Evans turned those 15 targets into 8 catches for 190 yards and 3 touchdowns. That must have been some sausage! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in yesterday’s late games for fantasy football:

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