As the season winds to a close it’s time to stop flirting with the transition to 2020 and dive in. This isn’t to say I’m done with 2019, not even close. I’m planning an upcoming long form article with an entire season review, but writing only a single article this week I thought it would enjoyable to provide my early .5 PPR first-round rankings for 2020. I’ve been searching around for others who have engaged in this exercise and it looks like I might be the first brave soul to assuredly be laughed at next summer. For those of you that are here for week 16 nuggets, congrats! You are either loyal readers, or trying to win a championship! Don’y worry, I’ve still got you covered at the bottom.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every season there is a player that was heavily dropped during the regular season that comes back during the weeks of the fantasy football playoffs with an absolute vengeance. Last year, it was was Derrick Henry and the tear that he went on in weeks 14-16, including that unforgettable 99-yard touchdown run that seemed to take an entire quarter to complete and then forgive my long-term memory, you’ll have to let me know what guy that was in the previous seasons.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was watching NFL Network Sunday morning and a commercial came on that made me double take:
That’s right, there’s a curved erection epidemic running rampant in America! This advertisement created more questions than answers. First, what are the scientific qualifications for a shaft to earn the “diseased” label? Are we talking right angles or a bit more obtuse? Is there a special penis protractor to measure the exact angles? And what’s the treatment plan for this condition? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. But I am curious, who was this Peyronie guy? Whoever he was, thanks to him, the family name will forever go down as the crooked erection guys. The point is, no matter how terrible your fantasy football team was this season, things could be worse. You could be watching targeted erectile deformity ads on Sunday mornings. Even if you just got done searching Amazon for a penis protractor, at least the curved dong disease wasn’t named after you. And there’s always next year! So let’s all zip up our pants and shift our attention over to my early 2020 top 100 dynasty football PPR rankings which will be released into your veins–arm veins– via four-part slow drip:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I got a message in my DMs today saying, “I need to quit doubting Jimmy.” Yeah, I think we all do at this point. The porn star banging super model lookalike is also the quarterback for one of the best teams, if not THE best team in the NFC. After a heartbreaking loss in the ugly Baltimore weather last Sunday, San Francisco bounced back in New Orleans and beat the Saints 48-46.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It would be fun to play in a 60,000 person DFS tournament against 59,999 DFS equivalents of the Dallas Cowboys. The amount of chances that they’ve had to run away with the abysmal NFC Least and put the Eagles’ hopes away is ridiculous. It would be like if you drafted Kirk Cousins this week (don’t) with a huge expectation of his performance against Detroit, and though he didn’t perform up to par, the other 59,999 teams chose either Devlin Hodges, or Gardner Minshew, or Eli Manning (don’t take them, either) and just begged you to stay in the running.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The fantasy football playoffs are finally here. In the interest of the rest of season rankings being as useful as possible I’ve thrown a whole pile of players in the 70-80 range that could potentially be a one week plug and plays for your team. I encourage all readers to map out their lineups throughout the playoffs to find expendable players. Ensure you have the optimal lineup for this week if you are in a playoff matchup, after that move on to week 15 and week 16. If there are players on your roster who will not make your projected lineup in any of those weeks those players become droppable (sans handcuffs). Prior to dropping any players, the last key question to ask yourself is will throwing this player to the waiver wire improve any potential competitor’s lineup substantially? If that isn’t the case find the highest upside players possible and get them on your roster. For a personal example, I have a first-round bye secured in a league. In the league I dropped Bo Scarbrough for David Njoku for the outside chance he returns against Arizona in week 15. Scarborough will never make my lineup. He is a usefully player, but the upside of Njoku against Arizona is worth the risk of one of my opponents snagging Scarborough.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two weeks into the first round of the inaugural RazzBowl Playoffs and its been all RotoViz. With only one week remaining in round one, RotoViz’s Hasan Rahim and Mike Beers hold the the top two spots in the RazzBowl Championship Bracket. These two competitors remind me a lot of Myles Garrett and Antonio Brown, farting in their competitor’s faces and then bashing them over the head with their own helmets. Wait, where am I? What’s that smell? Oh, it’s just those RotoViz boys doing their thing. The RazzBowl Committee is now keeping a close eye on the actions of RotoViz as a whole, they’re on double secret probation!
I’m sure you’re also wondering about Team Donkey Teeth because you spend most of your spare time thinking about my fantasy teams, right? Thanks for caring! We’re hanging in there — 16th place in the RazzBowl Wildcard Bracket — poised to advance on to round two in the Wildcard Bracket or maybe even make the leap to the Championship Bracket with a big week 12 performance. Anyway, since there’s no more pickups, let’s take a look back at some of the best bargains who were taken in the top 100 on RazzBowl Draft Day across all 15 of our leagues. Psych! First I need to mention the RazzBowl 2020 signup, which is now live! Alright, now lets look at those draft bargains . . .Please, blog, may I have some more?
This pun works because it is 20 degrees outside in Chicago and Golden Tate is the lede. I will be taking no further questions on the title.
Tate was a dead man walking in 2018. After multiple 1000+ receiving yard and 90 reception seasons he plummeted to a 74/795 line with a split season for the Lions and Eagles. He followed up that disastrous 30-year-old campaign with a 4-game suspension to start 2019 and was left for dead on draft day. Surprisingly, in 6 games this season he is averaging 8.3 targets and is on a 16-game pace of 88 receptions, 1112 yards, and 8 touchdowns. His numbers have spiked in the two games Evan Engram has missed. Reports state that Evan Engram will be out multiple weeks and the possibility of having his season shut down exists. Sterling Shepherd has a possibility of returning, but I’m unsure if that effects Daniel Jones obvious connection with Tate. The Giants aren’t going to stop losing games any time soon. Daniel Jones won’t stop pushing the ball into the seams any time soon. Jones is on an impressive 30 touchdown, 16 game pace himself. Tate is an outstanding WR3 moving forward with week to week upside based on touchdowns.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rudy Gamble joins the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast once again this week to discuss his potential ’80s comedy career and his rest of season projections. Rudy discusses some challenges he faces projecting for the remainder of the season and some recent tweaks he has made to his rest of season projections formula.
Brian Hill found himself under surveillance on week 4’s handcuff report and now finds himself atop the offender list for week 11. On Saturday, the Atlanta Falcons placed backup RB Ito Smith on injured reserve. Hill found himself thrusted into the #2 spot on the depth chart heading into Sundays matchup against the Saints, but finished the game as the #1 lead dawg in ATL following Devonta Freemans 3rd quarter exit. Hill finished the game with 40 offensive snaps, with Kenjon Barner recording the only other RB snaps (11) outside of Freeman. Freeman’s foot injury will need to be monitored throughout the week. The Falcons offense showed life returning from their bye and getting QB Matt Ryan back from injury, beating the NFC South leading New Orlean Saints 26 – 9. Fantasy owners, desperate for RB depth, need to place a waiver claim for Brian Hill this week. Qadree Ollison will assume #2 duties if Freeman were to miss an extended period of time.Please, blog, may I have some more?