Saturday Night Football: Lock’d Out

So with MB’s Zoom retirement party happening tonight, DT asked me to step in and do the write-up for Saturday Night Football. I said to DT, “But, Zoom allows like 50 people to join in on a call!” And DT replied, “Yeah, it’s me, MB, and all 48 members of the Japanese pop idol group AKB48. Sorry, we’re full up!” So, sayonara my dear MB. I hope you have fun playing Apples to Apples with your new crowd.

In the mean time, I’ve got your fantasy roundup for Saturday games: Buffalo vs. Denver, and Carolina vs. Green Bay.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks: Playoff Edition

December 9, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 3 Comments

by: everywhereblair

I woke up the other morning with visions of Flacco in my head. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. “You’re a Super Bowl winning quarterback with millions in your bank account, not the backup QB on a winless team that’s tanking! Go get ’em tiger!” I put on my Pumas and raced outside, not quite realizing it’s 15 degrees when I stepped out the door. Still, I ran. I ran like Rocky ran, sweat-banded and sweat-shirted. And when I cross the mile threshold, I told myself, “It’s three weeks until the fantasy championships! All your friends will validate you! They’ll say you’re handsome and smart and five years from now they’ll remember that Kirk Cousins brought you the fantasy championships!” I looked around, slightly crazed and slightly lost, and realized I was far from home. But aren’t we all. With Joe Flacco on my mind, I started to retrace my steps, one-by-one. Russell Wilson started strong. James Robinson was a fluke FAAB win that brought me to the playoffs. Derrick Henry surged through the defenses while Ryan Tannehill sliced secondaries. And all the while, Corey Davis grabbed first down after first down. There were so many Titans I couldn’t figure out if I was talking “Attack on” or “Remembering the.” But one thing stuck with me: it was the fantasy friends I made along the way. If I made you a fantasy friend of mine or the site, please show some love by getting an ad-free membership or checking in on the basketball or baseball sides and following the fantasy fun all-year round.

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Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks — Week 13

December 2, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Rest of Season Rankings, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 12 Comments

by: everywhereblair

Well, well, well. Week 12. Do I need to introduce what ended up being one of the weirdest weeks in NFL history? From a fantasy perspective, we watched Patrick Mahomes chase the Chiefs’ record for single-game passing yards (held by Elvis Grbac, you Trivial Pursuit maniac), while also watching Denver Broncos practice squad wide receiver Kendall Hinton make his NFL debut as a QB. One of those situations did not end well. On top of all of that, we’re looking forward to ~~Tuesday~~ Wednesday Night Football. In case you forgot, when Tuesday Night Football that happened earlier in the year wreaked havoc on stats providers who hadn’t prepared for “Y2K,” and some fantasy providers went weeks without accurate scoring. And now we’ve got a WNF, which is also the name of my favorite Korean boy-band. SEW (<- not a boy band). I’m giving you the best information that’s available at the time of writing, and hopefully Week 13 will be a bit easier to navigate. Next week will be the final installment of the rest of season QB rankings, so if you’re hoping to follow me here at Razzball, I’ll ask you to navigate over to the basketball section, where I’ll be doing a weekly player highlight column.

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Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterback Rankings — Week 12

November 25, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Rest of Season Rankings, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 22 Comments

by: everywhereblair

Who’s ready for Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving means three things: Matt Stafford, the turkey and contentious political commentary. Wait, what’s an Oxford comma again? OK, that was one thing. Hopefully you’ll be safe in your mansions this week. For the rest of us, let’s take a look at the thing keeping us hopeful: the upcoming fantasy playoffs and the quarterbacks that lead our teams through darkness.

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Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterback Rankings — Week 11

November 18, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Rest of Season Rankings, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 4 Comments

by: everywhereblair

When Covid isn’t flattening QBs and teams left and right, massive windstorms have completely shut down QBs several times this year. In Week 10, another Vortex Giant (CR25 for you nerds) stomped into many stadiums, leaving giant killers like Nick Chubb and [checks notes] Ben Roethisberger (hmmm) to save the villagers. I’ve asked fantasy managers to be proactive about rostering useful streaming QBs, if not to provide options in case of Covid or weather, but at the very least to deprive your opponents of a starting QB. This last week, your opponents would have gotten useful streaming games from bottom-tier QBs like Alex Smith, Kirk Cousins, and Philip Rivers. Now, I’m not applauding their games. But when other QBs are facing off against sustained 25MPH winds, gusts to 50MPH, and rain/sleet, those fair weather QB streamers look awfully nice.

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Fantasy Football Podcast: Week 10 Review – RazzBowl Playoffs Begin And The Masters New Record

November 17, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Podcast | 4 Comments

by: B_Don

B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back to talk about the events of week 10. What a weekend with the grossest week of football so far this season and a new Masters record.

The podcast starts with the Drew Brees injury and what each of us thinks it could mean for the Saints offensive weapons. We discuss the possible fallout of the Stafford and Bridgewater injuries.

With the rise of D’Andre Swift, we take a look at rookie RB rankings from this point forward. The guys can’t seem to agree on a specific order, but hash it out. The two then talk about some confusing backfields in the Browns, Rams, Bucs, and Colts, and how we are approaching them over the ROS.

As we move to WRs, B_Don asks DT if he trusts Marquez Valdes-Scantling after 2 strong showings, even with Allen Lazard likely to return to the mix. As with the RBs, the guys discuss a few complicated situations in the Eagles, Bucs, and Steelers. And of course, we finish with the A**hole of the week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks — Week 10

November 11, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 9 Comments

by: everywhereblair

Earlier in the summer when I was ranking pitchers over on the baseball side, there was a moment early in the baseball season when less than 60 starting pitchers had played; the rest were injured or quarantined or got caught at the club and sent home. The starting quarterback landscape is increasingly looking that way: tons of injuries are taking their toll, and the NFL has a baffling Covid policy where they’re punishing teams for practicing during the week yet still marching teams out every Sunday rather than delaying the games. Was Tuesday Night Football really that bad? I mean, other than screwing up the fantasy scoring systems for like two weeks. ENYWHEY. Outside of Dak Prescott, most of the injuries and quarantines haven’t affected the bulk of fantasy managers playing in standard leagues. Those who are in deep leagues, dynasty leagues, or superflex leagues, however, are probably in massive frustration mode. Here’s how I’m seeing the QB landscape unfold.

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Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks — Week 9

November 4, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 7 Comments

by: everywhereblair

I like it when there’s a penalty in football. The ref comes out, takes center stage on national television, and in avuncular tone, tells us what exactly went wrong and what the consequences will be. There’s a sincere clarity to a football penalty. It’s like my team’s on-the-field problems are my own. When my team’s cornerback interferes with a pass, it’s like I was getting vicariously handsy with the receiver. Then the ref comes out and tells me I was a bad boy, and that I better keep my hands to myself next time. But then the ref says “Half the distance to the goal,” and I think to myself, I haven’t gotten any of my goals achieved. Now I’m halfway there!

Thanks to you ref, maybe I’ll achieve something this year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Carolina Playmakers Disappoint Curtisy of Samuel & Falcons D

October 30, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 58 Comments

by: Donkey Teeth

My week had nowhere to go but up after Monday night’s Bears/Rams ticklefest. Tuesday I had a prostate exam and Wednesday I had a colonoscopy; everything was great. But then Thursday came along. The Falcons vs. Panthers shootout we were promised was a total misfire. The Falcons D was determined to avoid embarrassment at least one week this season. Only one Panther fantasy asset was immune to the intense pressure brought on by the Atlanta defense: Curtis Samuel, who turned his 3 carries and 4 catches into 23 rushing yards, 31 receiving yards and his 2nd and 3rd touchdowns of the season. That’s three touchdowns in the last two weeks for Samuel, and with his consistent usage in both the pass and run game, he’s starting to look like a decent desperation WR3 moving forward. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks — Week 8

October 28, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 11 Comments

by: everywhereblair

Here at Razzball headquarters — which is actually Grey’s basement in a rambler in Toledo, Ohio — the writers have been preparing for Halloween. You would imagine that a bunch of guys who use cartoon avatars would be really good at costumes, but with the world stricken by seven months of the piranhavirus, we’ve run out of crafting materials in the basement. Our running back guru, Hobbs, was pretty easy to cover in ketchup and coal dust to make a worthy facsimile of Hobbes the Tiger. And because we’re really committed to our imaginary games, we quickly put the writer Hobbs into a toy chest and ignore his calls for extra Pop Tarts. Donkey Teeth, of course, dresses the part of Donkey from Shrek, like, all the time. Did you know they made a Shrek 5? If you scour the Filipino black markets of DVDs, you’ll see our own Donkey Teeth starring in his self-created fan-fiction where a donkey gets psychic powers and finally — finally! — wins the Draft Kings Mega Millionaire. Myself, I’m dressing up as my hero, Big Nick Power, because he inspires me to treat everyday like a Hail Mary. If enough people get injured and struggle, I could be a New York Times columnist!

If you would like to contribute to the Razzball Halloween candy fund — they might even buy the candy fresh this year! — be sure to check out our other writers’ rest of season rankings, and consider getting an ad-free membership or a Roto Deluxe membership.

Please, blog, may I have some more?