I mean I’m no Grey’s Anatomy expert. Wait, actually I am! Remember that time Meredith Grey un-died for the sixth time after being saved by her third surprise half-sister? I suppose after watching 15 seasons of a medical drama, I’m probably an expert on health issues, such as the [checks notes] ulnar collateral ligament. Gross! Why did I ever agree to do the injury report if I can’t even spell out body parts? OK, EWB, time to soldier through, just like Meredith’s biological sister when she…oh! I almost spoiled McSteamy for you! So, instead of waxing poetic about my favorite soap opera / medical drama, let’s jump in to the stuff you’re actually here for: discussions of frayed elbow ligaments.
The following players are listed as OUT for week 10 at the time of writing:
Week 10 Injury Report and Roster News
Josh Allen: As the resident expert on elbone injuries because of my
arbitrary assignment expertise in pitchers, I would like to report good news about Josh Allen: even if his elbow ligaments fall apart, he could probably play a reasonable tight end. Your dynasty teams are safe! Could you imagine Taylor Heinicke making 5-yard dump passes to Josh Allen? Dream big, friends! All right, the news is pretty meh, actually, but I process trauma with vague attempts at humor. Allen’s elbow is “injured.” That could mean a lot of things. But, you know what happens when an MLB pitcher sprains their ulnar collateral ligament? They almost always get Tommy John surgery. Remember Jacob deGrom in 2021? He sat for nearly a year while dealing with elbow issues that eventually became shoulder issues. That’s kind of the thing about mechanics in athletes: if you change your mechanics, you’ll have downstream effects. A hurt elbow can cause other body parts to compensate and possibly become over-extended. I’m not saying Allen is going to sit for a year like deGrom, but the fellow New Yorkers can serve as a lesson: athletes need rest. Allen missed most of the practices this week and is formally questionable for Sunday’s game against the Vikings. The good news, at least for DFS players, is that a Case Keenum and Stefon Diggs revenge game narrative versus the Vikings sounds incredible and is really cheap. For the rest of us normie fantasy players, you’re probably pivoting to Jimmy Garoppolo or Daniel Jones and praying that Allen got the brand name ibuprofen.
Kyler Murray: Hamstrung by his hamstring. Much like my maligned Rams stack that has brought me to Razzbowl adequacy, the Cardinals have underwhelmed throughout the 2022 season. Murray has struggled as a passer but has redeemed himself, fantasy-wise, through his legs. Who cares about 3 interception games when he runs for 80 yards? Murray is questionable for Week 10 at the time of writing, with Colt McCoy serving as backup. Strange, Colt McCoy really sounds like he should be on the Buffalo Bills. ENYWHEY. If McCoy is behind center, you’re probably abandoning most Cardinals in your lineups, except for DeAndre Hopkins. If Murray plays, he’ll be avoidable in DFS while most of the other Cardinals starters get a downgrade on your standard fantasy rosters.
Jonathan Taylor: You know that time I nearly spoiled a major plot twist in Grey’s Anatomy for y’all? It was only 250 words ago, how could you miss it? ENYWHEY. Sprains are no good. Us benchwarmers are somewhat conditioned to think sprains are like, the time your finger got bent backwards too far when you were trying to jam as many fries into your mouth as possible in a minute. Sprains are the things that lead to Tommy John surgery. Jonathan Taylor has a sprained ankle, and it’s limited him to 16 rushes since week 4. Wish you could go back in time and redo all of your drafts now, right? Taylor suits up for the Colts this week, which isn’t saying much. I’m turning into a broken record about how the Colts have torched their season, and this past week they fired head coach Frank Reich and replaced him with locker room favorite Jeff Saturday. Remember August 2022? You could afford to buy yogurt and a house and still use Twitter without feeling greasy. You drafted Jonathan Taylor everywhere, knowing that Matt Ryan and Michael Pittman were going to open up the air game enough for JT to go for another easy 1,000-yard-plus season. Sigh.
Deon Jackson: Speaking of our favorite waiver wire pickup, Jackson injured his knee in week 9 and is out for week 10. Back to the streaming board!
Brandin Cooks: Nobody can figure out if he’s injured or just doesn’t want to work. To an economist, that’s the pandemic in a nutshell! Supposedly Cooks is actually healthy but has been semi-benched because he hates the Texans. Me too, Brandin, me too. He was practicing again this week but who knows if he plays. If the Cam Akers situation has taught us anything, it’s that the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. Believe it or not, Allen Robinson has been an WR3/Flex for the past three weeks and would be a possible fill-in for your fantasy team if Cooks doesn’t play.
D’Andre Swift: No injury designation, but that didn’t keep the Lions from pulling him out of the game last week. Start at your own risk — something about this situation is weirder than writing for a humorous fantasy sports site that is under the leadership of a donkey.
This is kind of a weird one for the injury report — stars and scrubs! The people who’ve been out for a while are still out, and the people who are questionable, are really questionable. That’s why you’ve got me responding in the comments — let me know how your teams are doing, and I’ll do my best to get you a win.
And for you RazzBowl players, this is the last best ball week! Personally, I’ve got to pull off a strong game against our podcaster Sky Guasco in order for me to advance in the championship bracket. My team stacked Rams and Niners, which was a statistically good idea but has been miserable so far. Wish me luck!