*This Buy, Sell, Hold video was released by Anime Donkey prior to week 11*

 

“Buy Jonathan Taylor.”  – July Donkey Teeth

After Jonathan Taylor’s five-touchdown performance this week, July Donkey can finally come out of hiding. You see, poor July Donkey was forced into hiding after being chased to the ends of the earth by the angry fantasy football echo chamber mob. In a secluded mountain cave, he made his home, living on nothing but wild berries and peyote root. Biding his time, until the all-clear siren sounded, as Jonathan Taylor crossed the goal line a 5th time on Sunday afternoon. Now July Donkey is returning to civilization, carrying a message for the fantasy world: buy Miles Sanders. Since Sanders and July Donkey went away, the Eagles’ offense has shifted their RB usage from non-existent, to somewhat existent. In his return to action, Sanders immediately handled his season-high, 16 carries. There’s a chance you can acquire the Eagles explosive back for RB3/flex type value and Sanders still has legitimate RB1 upside if the volume is there. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell thi

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I just got in from leaf blowing, absolutely brutal. How has nobody come up with a better system to deal with leaves yet? What are the big tech companies spending all their resources on other than microchips for brain control? There’s a crisis in America that can be ignored no longer!Lx7#*&Gk Sorry, my hands are frozen because it’s like 4 degrees outside. Wait, why am I outside again?! The leaves have sucked me back in! Someone, please save me! *enter our hero D.K. Metcalf* While the touchdowns have been steady this year, with only one 100+ yard receiving performance on the season, Metcalf’s current owner may not be giving the Seahawks’ #1 the respect he deserves. This is especially true after the complete dud week 10 (3 catches for 26 yards) in Russell Wilson’s return to action. The athletic freak, Metcalf, has a higher upside than any other receiver in the game. Give him a chance to bring you in from the cold and save your season! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*This Buy, Sell, Hold video was released by Anime Donkey prior to week 9 action but his recommendations still apply for week 10*

Week 9 was a busy news week in the NFL between the fatal car crash and all the vaccination/immunization drama. Too serious for me. Can’t we just go back to the Antonio Brown drama days? I mean the helmet and frozen foot drama days, before the rape accusation stuff. Boy, the NFL could really use some positive publicity. Or at least some more negative publicity that I can make jokes about! Know what else isn’t a joking matter? Buying Mike Williams! It’s gone under the news radar between all the other NFL injuries, the Gruden email scandal, Vaccine-gate, Ruggs’ downfall, etc.—but Williams has been nursing a sore knee for the past three games. Coincidentally, he’s had a total of only 6 receptions for 104 yards and no touchdowns during that stretch. When I click on the little news sticky note next to Big Mike’s name over on Yahoo? No mention of any knee issues. Rotoworld? No news updates since October 17th when “Williams did not practice this week but is going to push through the knee injury anyway.” I don’t think this is a coincidence. Williams has disappointed ever since the knee injury, and yet his fantasy owner may have no idea of the correlation due to the reporting gap. When healthy, he’s proven his elite WR1 upside with Herbert; see if you can steal him away at a bargain price. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Time. The great equalizer. An enigma wrapped in a riddle, smothered in Taco Bell mild sauce. At this time last week I was in Vegas making my 8th trip to the ATM in 24 hours. This week I’m in Death Valley, making my 8th trip to the ATM in 24 hours. Two weeks ago I was saying to sell D’Andre Swift and buy Miles Sanders. This week Colonel Miles Sanders is on crutches, frying up chicken and I’m about to tell you D’Andre Swift is a great buy. What a difference a couple weeks time can make. As for Swift, I’d look to take advantage of possible recency bias and bye-week desperation. He’s coming off a game where he totaled just 51 yards on 17 touches and now the Lions head into their bye This is the time of season where fantasy teams with losing records can’t afford to be patient through bye weeks, meaning bargains can be had by fantasy teams with winning records. Hopefully that’s you! Swift likely isn’t going to handle 15+ carries often, but his volume in the Detroit passing game gives him a solid floor in any type of PPR league and he’s already shown RB1 upside. If you can weather his upcoming bye week, toss an offer out there and see what happens. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*Buy, Sell, Holds released by Anime Donkey prior to week 7—Amine Donkey says ignore the Miles Sanders buy due to injury*

I’m bringing this week’s buy/sell column to you from Sin City, where I haven’t slept since I arrived Saturday afterno&*xnak;lsf. Sorry, dozed off for a minute there. I have to be on the brief side this week because every minute I sit here typing is a minute I’m losing money. They’re literally giving money away downstairs. FREE MONEY GIVEAWAY!! Do you know who else is like free money right now? Antonio Gibson. The Football Team’s lead back is getting no mainstream respect because J.D. McKissic rears his ugly head in the passing game from time to time. The past two weeks Gibson has played less than 50% of the offensive snaps which isn’t great, but that’s also been driven by heavily negative game scripts along with his shin injury. After having gone bust each of the past two weeks, now is the perfect time to acquire Gibson, who I’d expect to produce solid RB2 numbers rest of season with backend RB1 upside. Who’s ready to gamble with me? Can I get a loan? Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Miles Sanders?! The same Miles Sanders who has just 29 carries over the past four weeks? Are you smoking crack again, Donkey Teeth? Yes, yes and not at the moment, Mr. Random Italicized voice. Here’s the thing with Miles Sanders: he’s the Eagles most dynamic and explosive weapon (or tied with Jalen Hurts) and they haven’t been giving him the ball. And they’ve been losing games. I’m no longer a rocket scientist—I quit rocket science to write dick jokes and fantasy football advice—but it seems like the Eagles just might realize that they should try giving Sanders the ball. From an opportunity standpoint, Sanders’ percentage of the offensive snaps has been on the rise each of the last three weeks, culminating in a season high of 83% this past week. So the lightbulb may have already gone on in Nick Sirianni’s head. Regardless, Sanders’ consensus fantasy value can’t get much lower and his owner in your league is probably ready to quit fantasy football altogether. He’s a risky investment depending on the cost but there’s a chance Colonel Sanders returns high-end RB2 production over the rest of the season. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I usually write this while I watch Monday Night Football. But I will not be watching MNF. I will not watch the Saints until they put in Jameis Winston. It’s been sad watching the box score through the first half. I don’t understand the Taysom Hill plays, I don’t understand the dedication to Drew Brees. I guess New Orleans could be a destination for Dak Prescott when he’s healthy, eh? After not being able to reach a deal with Dallas in the offseason and suffering an unfortunate gruesome injury, I would be surprised if Dak signs in Dallas on anything team friendly. Jerry Jones has given Dak the runaround on a new contract the last two offseasons while Dak is just trying to get a fair deal in an ever changing market. If you look at the deals that Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson received, Dak wanting 40 million per year wasn’t so crazy after all. The fantasy market is changing at a much more rapid pace than the quarterback market, so let’s get to the buys and sells for week 6. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have been following a simple metric this season for running backs: weighted opportunities (WO) per game. This summer I found that WO/g correlated strongly with fantasy points (FP) per game with an R2 of 0.88 based off 2018 numbers. Granted, this was a small sample size of only 1 year but it’s all the data I had.

In a nutshell, the idea is that players should have a FP/WO ratio of about 1, and if they are above that they are either very efficient or lucky (probably via TDs). If they are below that number, the inverse is assumed. In that piece I identified 4 backs that looked like strong buys this offseason, so let’s see if FP/WO helped.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I marvel at Adam Schefter, Ian Rapoport, Charles Robinson, and all the other beat writers, analysts, and experts that are just getting absolutely bombarded with information during training camp. Just consuming the influx of updates and news around the league as every organization fields its players and prepares for the oncoming season is overwhelming. It’s exciting for sure. But it’s also a lot to sort through.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Green Bay Packers starting running back Ty Montgomery, a converted slot-receiver selected in the 3rd round of the 2015 NFL Draft, certainly doesn’t have the body-type, resume, and hype of a NFL workhorse running back. However, Montgomery’s rare blend of elite rushing vision and smooth receiving abilities make him the perfect running back in Green Bay’s offense, a scheme centered around short, high-percentage passes that serve as a proxy running game. Montgomery punctuated his breakout campaign with 121 combined touches for 805 yards and 3 touchdowns after he took the reigns as the starting running back for injured Eddie Lacy in Week 6 of 2016.

Please, blog, may I have some more?