How many people out there don’t know who to cheer for every Sunday afternoon?  If you can’t see, my hand is up.  On one hand I wanted Detroit to lose in order to get off to a roaring start in all my suicide pools.  On the other hand I wanted Calvin Johnson to score because I own him in the Razzball writers league, which you can check out by clicking here.  Good thing I don’t have three hands.  I’m going to need a football therapist by October.

The New Orleans Saints were the major suicide killer in week 1.  I know the Saints had a bad defense but I didn’t think they would make the case for the word ‘badder’ to officially enter the English language.  It is clear from watching week 1, teams with bad defenses, poor running games, and feeble quarterbacks will be what we want to make our picks against.  We can add these guidelines to the week 1 outline of sticking to home teams and avoiding division games.  On that note, home teams went 9-7 in week 1 and in division games favorites went 2-4.

Teams Already Picked – Houston

New England Patriots, My Week 2 Pick – We are going to play it safe again here in week 2 as it is too early to start taking risks.  The risks will come later on if we survive.  Personally, it is good to get my most hated team out of the way early on.  If you look at the guidelines above they have the advantage in every category.  The whole Patriot team could play in Uggs and still come out on top.  But seriously now, what man would wear an Ugg boot?  There is no game of risk with this pick as New England will have conquered the field by halftime.

 Cincinnati BengalsNot long ago the days of the Bungles were running wild in the NFL.  Today, that honor belongs to the Cleveland Browns.  I guess you can call them the Cleveland Brownies.  Cincinnati was in a tough spot in week 1 playing the Ravens on the road after their owner Art Modell passed away.  Now they are playing Modell’s originally owned team the Browns.  Cleveland did play the Eagles step for step in week 1 until they ultimately lost in the last minute.  Normally I would try to avoid division games but this one is a mismatch.  The Bengals have won 6 out of the last 7 games between these two rivals.  Instead of going into week 2 with confidence, they travel disheartened and rattled.  Add in a suspension to top corner Joe Haden and nothing can take their dark shadow away.

 New York GiantsThe New York Giants lost last year in week 1 and bounced back with a victory in week 2.  They are the definition of a slow start.  The cure for the injured and weak Giants secondary is none other than Josh ‘I can’t make a big play’ Freeman.  In the last 3 years Freeman has averaged 1.2 TD passes a game.  That isn’t a typo.  I think he is the most overrated quarterback in the NFL.  I do like the improvements the Bucs have made to their defense and running game; it should bode well for games where they need to manage their possessions and control the clock.  To beat the Giants you need explosive plays and ability as shown by the Cowboys.  The Giants’ losing streak buck stops here.

 Washington Redskins, Potential Suicide – I was wrong with my prediction that the American President would be elected before a Redskins running back.  Alfred Morris does have a name suited for a political ballot.  But don’t be fooled by this candidate as he only averaged 3.4 yards per carry versus, as mentioned above, a Pee Wee skilled defense.  And his coach is Shanahan so expect the expected revolving door at running back.  RGIII stole the show in Week 1 with a very efficient NFL debut.  The rookie ransacked the hearts of NFL fans everywhere and will be running with them into week 2.  But here’s the catch: the Rams defense isn’t as bad as it seems.  They held their own on the road against a powerful offense in the Detroit Lions.  Now they are home for the opener with video evidence of RGIII to study and game plan for.  I think the ram wins the hunt in this battle.

  1. Matt says:

    Thanks I picked New England too but can you please try to get your survivor football analysis up before the Thursday game? Not sure what sort of league you’re in but my pick locks before the Thursday game. Thanks!

    • Zorboss

      Zorboss says:

      @Matt, I really can’t function on Sunday…see my comment below for your answer as I forgot to hit reply.

  2. Zorboss

    Zorboss says:

    I’m in 4 suicide pools, 3 picks are due by Sunday 1pm, and only 1 is due by Thursday 8pm. We have a set schedule/lineup here at Razzball so a move to Thursday is tough. Try to see if you can change the deadline to Sunday 1pm and use the excuse of injury updates are a big part of the NFL and you don’t get a full understanding of them till game day. Hope you win your pool and God Luck. In a monotone voice, go patriots.

    • Andrew Nordmeier

      Andrew Nordmeier says:

      @Zorboss, Arizona 20- New England 18…let the wrist-slitting begin.

      • Jesse says:

        @Andrew Nordmeier, mwahaha 43 of 93 in my $20 buy in knockout share your pain… go cardinals :p but not me, i picked texans

  3. Bobby says:

    pointless article if your gunna post it on a saturday. most survivor leagues have a deadline before the first game of the week which is thursday so dont waste your time.

  4. TheTinDoor

    JTin says:

    A couple of great sites out there that post Survivor pool picks using pot odds/game theory – these guys steered me clear of New England:

    Bottom line, it’s usually worth fading the HEAVY favorite (Pats picked in 40%+ of ESPN Eliminator picks), as the potential payout is so huge. Granted, the Giants made me sweat bullets as my Week 2 play as well…

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