NFC North fans, unite! The battle of the Lion/Pack for Northern Supremacy entertained all [does the math] 13 people who live up here, and most of them were drunk on Leinenkugels shandy that they got for cheap from the drive-thru liquor store. No, I’m not describing my night…ENYWHEY. The Packers came into the game as massive favorites over the Lions, with the ARog side getting a -560 line to win the game (that’s about 85% chance of winning, amirite degenerate majors?). So, how’d the game go? Did ARog give another thrilling postgame interview dressed in Dereliqute (that luxury-trash fashion house brand from Zoolander), or did he have a thrilling victory against the knee-capping Lions? Let’s check out the highlights!
Please, blog, may I have some more?I promise I am not going to lead every waiver wire article in with a Jurassic Park reference, although there is enough material to do so. We had a lot of John Hammond’s in the fantasy football universe last week “sparing no expense” when it came to San Francisco running back Elijah Mitchell. Bids of a full 100% of FAAB (free agent acquisition budget) were not just uncommon, they were the standard. Not since Woody Harrelson took one million dollars from Robert Redford in Indecent Proposal has a monetary for goods exchange left someone feeling so cheated. Well, it wasn’t so terrible, 7.3 PPR fantasy points isn’t atrocious. Mitchell seems to have held onto the job with the entire backfield in San Francisco, and possibly the training staff too, getting injured on Sunday. Let’s hope it works out for those who did end up spending a lot. Just remember, this isn’t Brewster’s Millions. You don’t need to spend every penny of your FAAB right away to risk losing it all. Spend up when you need a player and make competitive bids when you want a player. There is nothing worse than needing to put IOUs in a Samsonite briefcase to salvage your season, possibly leaving you feeling a bit Dumb and Dumber.
Please, blog, may I have some more?(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
Have you ever had a new neighbor move in next door and throw a huge housewarming party? No big deal as long as they invite you to the party, right? But when you don’t get an invitation and they’re up into the wee hours of the morning blaring Garth Brooks, then there’s trouble-a-brewing. That’s pretty much what happened when Urban Meyer arrived in Jacksonville and decided to give Carlos Hyde 9 carries and James Robinson just 5 carries in week 1. As a James Robinson supporter, I have to admit I was a bit unsettled by the late-night Carlos Hyde music, and more than a little nervous about what the future might hold with Urban Meyer now living next door. But Robinson was on the field for twice as many snaps as Hyde in that week 1 contest, so no need to call in a noise complaint just yet. Robinson posted another disappointing fantasy line this week against Denver, but the silver lining here is that he out-touched Hyde 14 to 2. And don’t forget Denver has a very solid defense which limited Jonathan Taylor to just 51 rushing yards on 15 carries in week one. The Robinson owner is likely disenchanted by this poor early fantasy production from J-Rob, so put some feelers out there and see if you can take advantage of early-season frustration and impatience. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Back in another world years ago, when a fabled legend of football named Marshawn Lynch played, he had a run so thunderous that the viewers at home called it “Beast Mode.” Lynch tossed defenders aside like a knight casting off pieces of armor to which his enemies clenched as he ran to protect his dear castle of the endzone. Alas, the good Sir Marshawn has since retired (2 times so far) and his mantle has been picked up by the fair squire [checks notes] Damien Harris. OK! Apparently, the joke’s on me. Rudy’s Razzball Premium Football Tools had Harris getting a ridiculous number of touches all offseason, and like a patron who goes to their favorite restaurant every week and never looks at the menu and never sees the new and improved specials, I completely missed the hottest RB in the NFL not named “Elijah Mitchell” (RIP). But it’s OK, because everybody else whiffed on him too. So, fellow diners, are we ready to read the menu this time? Let’s check out the specials and see who’s making the list of specials this week and who’s getting sent back to the kitchen.
Please, blog, may I have some more?G’Mornin, degenerates! Donkey Teeth and I will be switching off the Sunday primers every week in accordance with whichever zodiac sign is dominant in the sky. Also, we don’t have any astrology books around and Grey doesn’t allow Google on the work computers at Razzball Headquarters, so we’ve decided that each Zodiac sign lasts one week. Last week, it was Donkinapoli, the celestial god of ruminating cloven-hoofed animals. This week, it’s Spookii, the celestial lord of pumpkin spice. Now that I’m powered by nutmeg and cloves, here’s the double scoop on the fantasy football news for today.
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If you haven’t read the first article from week 1 Click Here. That article provides the overview on what we are doing for this article. The goal of this article is to find wide receivers to fade and buy based on how many fantasy points their opponent allows in the slot vs. out wide.
The below chart outlines all the teams that are featured in the NFC home games in week 2 and listed by how many total fantasy points they allowed to the wide receiver position this season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ah, well. That was a rough week one. Some amazing games, spectacular moments, and lots of injuries. It’s always a bit of shell-shock from the offseason to week one, seeing all the guys you’ve salivated over (no innuendo intended) suddenly go down with an injury, erasing all the precious production you were waiting for. But this is football after all and injuries will happen. Profound right? Maybe not but whatever, you just want to know who’s gonna post those precious stats on the board, huh? You goddamned sicko? These are human beings! You just want that sweet, sweet fantasy advice, huh dirtbag? Well, here it is!
Please, blog, may I have some more?If you haven’t read the first article from week 1 Click Here. That article provides an overview on what we are doing for this article. The goal of this analysis is to find wide receivers to fade and buy based on how many fantasy points their opponent allows vs. the slot and out wide.
The below chart outlines all the teams that are featured in the AFC home games in week 2 and listed by how many total fantasy points they allowed to the wide receiver position this season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome back to Propageddon, where I take seven of the week’s more intriguing storylines and pit them against a handful of your favorite analysts, and Donkey Teeth. They range the mundanely difficult to challengingly absurd. In that madness, there is sometimes a kernel of knowledge to be gained. Other times, I’m just trolling our writers over their least favorite players. Either way, you and I get to have some fun at their expense. I expect you to click on this post seven times since we spared you from the dreaded slideshow clickbait post. It’s only fair.
If you want to try your own hand, the quiz is here.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Poor Daniel Jones can’t catch a break. The Giants can’t even let the other team lose properly! On Thursday Night Football, with the world watching, the Giants quarterback rose to the occasion and played one of his best games that I can remember. The New York Giants had several opportunities to put the game away, but penalties, receiving blunders and an inexcusable special teams debacle handed the Washington Football Team the win in the closing seconds. Overall, it was a good game with 5 lead changes including a back-and-forth 4th quarter and a game winning field goal on the last play.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In a just world, blurbs would eat caveats for breakfast. I already went over a list of fantasy football caveats in one of my first blogs on this old corner of the “osphere,” as they say. In a sports media universe that we breathe in the moment we wake up and open social media, after our cat knocks over the drying rack because she’s a glutton for both food and self-flagellation, The Take rules over us all. The Take draws us in with instant magnetic concrete-thinker thuggery. Our amygdalas catch fire, and rupture into the two divine paths, as Robert Frost once cataloged:
Please, blog, may I have some more?“But Donkey Teeth, didn’t you just provide us with very in-depth and meticulously curated positional rest of season rankings for 2021 fantasy football, week 2, only two days ago?” Why yes, dear reader, and thank you for noticing. This is not an error, nor an oversight. It was all very carefully thought out during my recent peyote ceremony with some local natives. While I do get the positional rest of season rankings to the press promptly each and every Tuesday, prior to waivers and FAAB, I also feel it’s important to provide more context later in the week to assist in trade negotiations and other important roster decisions. If you desperately need a running back and are rostering all of Thielen, Golladay, Woods and Evans, then my positional breakdown doesn’t help you to construct the perfectly reasonable trade offer for James Robinson, Ty’Son Williams or Myles Gaskin. Now we also have the overall rankings table below to view positional valuations relative to other positions, while still having the option to sort by individual positions. The best of both worlds, which I tasted during that peyote trip. And over the past two days, I’ve also taken more time to refine these rankings after digesting more of the week one action and listening to some very valuable community feedback from you intelligent readers. The positional rankings from earlier in the week also delve a bit deeper into the rankings compared to this overall top 150 provided below. Anyway, here’s my sortable rest of season rankings for 2021 fantasy football:
Also, don’t forget to support the site by purchasing our tools subscription (we have a FREE 3-day trial!!!) for detailed weekly projections, snap counts and target share data. You won’t regret it!
Please, blog, may I have some more?