This week, the esteemed ex-girlfriend of the guy who convinced us that “Neon” is the hardest song to play on guitar released an album. People say it’s good. I wouldn’t know, what with my ears ruined by Norwegian black metal. But are you here to learn about a drone on a drop-tuned C string or are you here to learn about D’Andre Swift? Probably the latter. ENYWHEY. Just like Taylor Swift released an album this week, our good friend and fantasy football savior D’Andre Swift has been released from the injured list. Just in time for our 1-6 team to be saved! Hooray! 

Now, let’s join and commiserate about how we lost Ja’Marr Chase

Here are the players that are OUT at the time of writing: 

Name Team Pos
Ezekiel Elliott DAL RB
Cole Holcomb WAS LB
Ja’Marr Chase CIN WR
Deebo Samuel SF WR
James Conner ARI RB
DeShon Elliott DET DB
Mike Williams LAC WR
Dennis Gardeck ARI LB
Chuba Hubbard CAR RB
Dre Greenlaw SF LB
Allen Lazard GB WR
Matt Ryan IND QB
Michael Thomas NO WR
David Njoku CLE TE
Jaylinn Hawkins ATL DB
Marshon Lattimore NO DB
Cam Akers LAR RB

Week 8 Injuries and Roster Report

Matt Ryan and Sam EhlingerUsually when a player makes oodles of money, there’s this unspoken rule that the football club needs to play that massive contract through thick or thin. Management can never admit a poor decision! The Colts decided this week that they were going to learn from failure and bench Matt Ryan for the rest of the year. Long story short, Ryan makes a ton of money, and if he played some more snaps, he triggered conditions in his contract that paid him even more money. The Colts decided to throw Ryan to the wind and A) bench their most expensive player, and B) deny one of the longest-tenured QBs in the league his guaranteed money. How’s that for ageism? If you were riding the explosive Ryan streamer train, drop him. There’s a non-zero chance that Ryan gets traded before the deadline, but where does he end up starting? Who knows, and fantasy players probably don’t care. Super senior rookie Sam Ehlinger takes over at QB for Ryan, which spells impending doom for Michael Pittman and Parris CampbellYou want a stress test? Try your top fantasy wideout playing with a 6th-round draft pick. Yeesh. Jonathan Taylor probably picks up some more carries, while Nyheim Hines and Deon Jackson benefit from the short passing game. Your fantasy team, though? Hope you made an NFT of it so it holds at least some value when it collapses. 

James RobinsonY’all probably heard that the “injury” Robinson suffered in week 7 was just the pain of fantasy managers discovering that JRob was getting traded. The good news: he ended up on the Jets. The bad news: he ended up on the Jets. JRob is a nebulous start for Week 8 because he doesn’t fully know the Jets’ complicated and sophisticated playbook yet, so I’d keep him at a FLEX level for now. Michael Carter, who will split reps with JRob, will be a FLEX for week 8 and likely a waiver wire darling afterward. 

D’Andre SwiftNo injury designation and is expected to start on Sunday, which ruins all the Zero RB hopes for Jamaal Williams managers. Start. 

Amon-Ra St. BrownLeft last week’s game due to concussion protocols but has a likely indication that he can play in Week 8. Start. 

Van JeffersonStop what you’re doing right now, load your fantasy app, and add Van Jefferson. Oh yeah, come back! No, don’t look at that Viagra ad. Yes, look at this blurb. We good now? Speaking of Viagra, V.J. was a WR3/FLEX in 2021 while spending much of the year as an afterthought or utility player on the Rams. He had off-season knee surgery that delayed him in training camp and the Rams gave him some extra time to recover. More like, extra time for Allen Robinson to sink his own ship, amirite? Temper expectations for Jefferson this week, but his upside is a fantasy WR2 for the rest of season. The Rams just got off of BYE, so you’ve got, what, 9-10 games of a vaguely startable WR in a conceptually good offense? Everything in moderation, including your fantasy outcomes. 

Cam AkersSpeaking of moderate outcomes, Akers continues to be on the trade block. Remember when the 49ers got McCaffrey? Remember when the Jets got JRob? There’s gotta be something that the clubs aren’t mentioning publicly that’s keeping Akers on the bench in LA and not on the field for another team. What’s the best possible outcome for Akers here? Timeshare? 2022 looks increasingly dim for Akers, and I won’t hate you if you drop him for bench depth this week. 

Ryan Tannehill: Questionable for Sunday due to an ankle injury, and very questionable due to his inefficacy as an NFL quarterback. Tannehill brought me an industry championship two years ago, but his prowess with, you know, throwing the ball more than 10 feet has dropped precipitously since then. Tannehill is the QB24 on the year, which is pretty amazing given that so many QBs have been injured or played half-time. Put another way — among the cohort of QBs who have played every eligible game, Tanny is one of the worst. Let’s put it another another way: Kenny Pickett, the rookie on the derelict Steelers who has played in 4 games, is QB23. So, better than Tanny. Yeesh. ENYWHEY. Should Tannehill miss time, we’ll see rookie Malik Willis do his thing, and that could be exciting. For more Willis hype, check out Keelin’s off-season profile of the rookie QB

Chuba HubbardOut with an ankle injury, which means D’Onta Foreman getting even more sweet, sweet ball-carrying action in week 8. Foreman destroyed the Bucs last week, and you’re starting him faster than your lawn mower in week 8. 

Ja’Marr ChaseThick thighs save lives and Chase is dealing with some lower body issues at this time. Please respect his privacy while he shakes his hips loose. Tyler Boyd is still available in 20% of leagues, and he’s the obvious fill-in if you’re Chasing WR. If Boyd is gone, you can snag Zay JonesJakobi Meyers, or basically any other warm body. That’s what’s fun about football! 

DK MetcalfMoving around well enough that you probably don’t need to find a replacement. 

Mac JonesDespite dealing with numbness in his toes, Jones is supposed to take the QB1 role this Sunday, leaving strangely useful backup Bailey Zappe on the bench. In week 7, Jones left the game and Zappe immediately started chucking the ball downfield in ways that set the internet on fire. Hope y’all got one of those QB2s who actually has a starting job! 

Tom BradyHeartbroken. After the Bucs lost to the Ravens, Tom and Gisele announced their divorce. Maybe this will be like Albert Pujols’ 2022, when the senior Señor abandoned his wife and put on a resurgent display of power. Or maybe Gisele’s Brazilian supermodel witch powers will turn against Tom, and he should look for extracted teeth under his pillow. 

Drop your questions below, and I’ll see you on Monday for the wrap up! Have a good weekend, everybody!

11 Comments
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Tpk2020
Tpk2020
3 months ago

Would you trade for Chase? And at what price? Sanders is 4th RB and DK my 4WR? Would Sanders be fair for him?

Mordacious Levator
Mordacious Levator
3 months ago

so now with the min 4 week IR rules CIN basically is like that fantasy owner that just leaves somebody out at least 4 weeks on BN when they could IR him and just use that extra roster spot. it’s not like NFL teams need all their roster spots i guess right.

Mike
Mike
3 months ago

What up EB. Another week another question with shit options. PPR TE. I own Pitts🤮so I stream.. Stream Irv Smith or drop him and go with Engram, H Bryant, Juan Johnson, Knox or Tanner Hudson?
Thank you as always

Steve Stevenson
Steve Stevenson
3 months ago

Std scoring, Swift or Foreman this wk?

Jake
Jake
3 months ago

I really enjoyed reading this blog post! Very informative and a lot of the statistics presented turned out to be true for week 8. Keep up the great work and keep providing great content!

Mordacious Levator
Mordacious Levator
3 months ago

how did m.ryan by this stage even have an expensive contract, i guess it’s likely it’s the same contract he signed with ATL a while ago would make sense. took IND a while to notice that back to back retread QB’s that are falling apart isn’t something they want to keep trying.

Mordacious Levator
Mordacious Levator
3 months ago

wait, in what league types/sizes can anybody just “snag j.meyers”? z.jones sure he’s easily available in almost all 12 teamers i’d bet money on.

Mordacious Levator
Mordacious Levator
3 months ago

i completely agree with the van jeff add, however good lord that LAR o-line is really really bad and thank jebus only spot i used van jeff was util 2 in a 20 teamer (start 1 RB, 2 WR otherwise) but i did it over metcalf as that seemed fishy and smelled of a decoy big time (i’m killing opponent anyway). did not play van jeff in another 20 teamer (regular 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 util) but of course played callaway so that didn’t go much better and i’ll barely lose this week likely mostly from that nice fat 2 points i got from callaway (lost n.brown, c.davis, m.thomas all of which i’d have easily played at WR otherwise).