Special Note: JB Gilpin has returned! Sorta-kinda. You should know that he runs Razzball Basketball and was kind enough to have me on the podcast over there. Why? Because this is my first year playing Fantasy Basketball (RCLs are still open, join up!), and if you haven’t partaken, you should, um, partake. I was in trouble, like three words in…

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.60% (19th out of 122 Experts, 60.30% Highest, 49.60% Lowest).

Week 7 Results: 59.70% (33rd out of 132 Experts, 64.30% Highest, 46.50% Lowest).

Accuracy Rank Experts Highest Lowest Score +/- Rank +/-
Week 1 61.80% 22 134 66.10% 48.20%
Week 2 54.00% 35 135 61.30% 42.10% -7.80% -13
Week 3 57.40% 88 128 67.10% 44.30% 3.40% -53
Week 4 56.50% 48 128 61.10% 42.80% -0.90% 40
Week 5 56.50% 70 131 69.40% 47.00% 0.00% -22
Week 6 56.30% 27 133 63.10% 41.50% -0.20% 43
Week 7 59.70% 33 132 64.30% 46.50% 3.40% -6
Totals 57.60% 19 122 60.30% 49.60%

And now, your Week 8 Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.9% (12th out of 133 Experts, 61.4% Highest, 49.9% Lowest).

Week 2 Results: 54.0% (35th out of 135 Experts, 61.3% Highest, 42.1% Lowest).

I actually didn’t think there were going to be enough healthy players to rank this week, but alas, we barely made it. With nearly 86% of the NFL injured, one might wonder if we are seeing the end of the world as we know it, totally forgetting the fact that we voted Barack Obama to be President not once, but twice. Coincidentally, Jamaal Charles’ and A.J. Green’s injuries are the direct result of that as well, so thanks again Obama! Not only is the world already in the process of ending, but so are our fantasy football teams. Sounds like a scary situation here folks… but have no fear, I come here bearing gifts. Well, not “gifts” per say, more like rankings, but I submit to you that rankings can be gifts. It just needs some ribbon and wrapping paper, and BOOM, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO. So here are the rankings for Week 3, now with more gift wrap…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 1 Results: 61.8% (22nd out of 134 Experts, 66.1% Highest, 48.2% Lowest).

It’s now time for Week 2 Rankings folks! Why? Because the world needs rankings. Nay, the world demands it. To be really honest, what’s the point of writing about fantasy football if not to start arguments over subjective numerical values? If you answered “there is no point!” (exclamation point inflection required), well then, you win this cookie. This cookie right here. Oh, you don’t see the cookie? That’s probably because I just ate it. So you get no cookie. Just the teasing of said cookie.

Great, now I’m hungry for more cookies. Thanks!

As an aside, I’ve heard some requests for a ‘Rest of Season’ rankings made available for the masses. Well, I haven’t heard them per say… I’ve read the requests, seeing as how you people don’t whisper in my ear. I mean, maybe you do, but I’m just trying to ignore you because that’s creepy, dude. Regardless, I will be releasing ROS projections at every quarter mark of the season, or basically every month, or every four weeks… basically every 30 or so days. Or 730 hours. 43829 minutes. 2.63e+6 seconds… woah, what the heck is that I just wrote? That looks like some kind of alien language. But, you get my point. So, yeah, be excited for that!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

So, much has been said of the delay of the Half-PPR rankings, or at least I think much has been said. I’m not a mind-reader folks. But I’m going to assume you’ve been talking amongst yourselves, and the main topic has been how I’m bringing sexy back. Because I am. The other topic, more minor, is about the lack of Half-PPR rankings, seeing as how, ya know, it’s the format this year’s Free Fantasy Football Razzball Commentator Leagues (Sign-up here!) use. But guess what? As I’m sure the title spoiled it, we have rankings. Though, it’s a lot cruder than your used too. There’s still an issue with some sort of thing… a lot of it is technical, and is like a bunch of Star Trek mumbo jumbo mixed with Skynet and wheat  bread… none of which I understand, nor will I ever understand. So just fire those phasers at something, amiright? But yeah, just between you and me, those technical hurdles still remain, so like the Olympics athletes that we are (which we really aren’t), we’re going to have take one for the team here and realize that this format for which I am presenting the Half-PPR rankings is going to have to make due, for at least a little while. That is to say, the format that you are used to receiving these rankings is unavailable from our friends over at FantasyPros, but I’ll make sure to update everything as new things come to light. Something like that. Because I am against dark. But not really. This makes no sense.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

As stated in the Standard Top-200 Overall Rankings, this is not a mock draft, nor are theses rankings based on 2013 stats. This is a list of guys I like. Maybe I have a crush on them, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind going on a date with them. Because what’s this life for if people aren’t buying you dinner? Trust me, it’s worth nothing. And yes, there will be things you like about the things I like. There will be things you dislike about the things I like. And there will me saying ‘things’ too much. In retrospect, the word ‘like’ shows up a bit too much as well. And there will déjà vu from the Standard Top-200 lede, because of the modern wonder known as copy and paste, but hey, you can’t win them all. But you can win some. And you might lose some. No clue where I’m going at this point. ALL THE DIGRESSION. So yeah…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

We have finally arrived, and all I can say is, man, I gotta go to the bathroom. Crazy long trip, this was. That was my Yoda-typing. It about, you must think. Okay, I’m going to stop, it just looks like I’m having a stroke. Anyhow, look at this long journey we’ve been on together, and finally, we have arrived at the pinnacle moment where all the blood, sweat, and tears (aka– my last relationship), have accumulated to bring you not just 10, not just 50, not just 100, nope, that’s right… we’ve brought you 200 names ranked in the order of who I want on my fantasy team this upcoming season. Remember, this is not a mock draft, nor are they rankings based on 2013 stats. This is a list of guys I like. Maybe I have a crush on them, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind going on a date with them. Because what’s this life for if people aren’t buying you dinner? Trust me, it’s worth nothing. And yes, there will be things you like about the things I like. There will be things you dislike about the things I like. And there will me saying ‘things’ too much. But that’s okay. Because we can all agree on this– Jamarcus Russell is terrible at football. But not at eating. Good for him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 RankingsTop-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR) | WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST |

Nick and Jay quickly go over some of Razzball’s Tight End rankings…

Remember to visit Razzball Radio for all your Razzball media needs. And be sure to get your tickets for the Razzball 32 Fantasy Draft Parties in 32 NFL cities, all in the span of 32 days.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

Well, this is it folks. We are nearing the end of what was a glorious and scrumptious set of weeks going over the bulk of our fantasy rankings. Coincidentally, glorious and scrumptious is how I’m described at most dinner parties. With a hint of lilac and ginger. So I’m basically a hot tea. Hot tea. Hottie. HUUUUUUR. Anyways, you should give me a dollar for these set of rankings. Why? So I can give you some quarters back…? I’m simply on fire here. No, I’m serious. It’s the District and we’re in the unbearable humid stage of summer. So I literally need to stick a fire extinguisher between my thighs to prevent chaffed rashes and combustion. It’s like the forest from Fern Gully down there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

One could argue that no other position is affected most by PPR than the running back position. My response would be, why are we arguing bro? I agree with you! While wide receiver and tight end rankings are obviously affected by receptions, running backs are still the cream of the crop when it comes to the fantasy draft. And the PPR curveball (baseball metaphor in a football post? Dangerous and exciting…) certainly sends massive tidal waves that would surely kill some dinosaurs. But only if said tidal wave was caused by an asteroid hitting Earth. And if the tidal wave was actually a tsunami. And if it was 230 million years ago. But that’s besides the point, but not really, because President Reagan cut taxes like a velociraptor, so we know they existed recently. Science bro. But yeah. What were we talking about again?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

So we’ve finally arrived at what many consider the Cadillac of rankings– the running back position. Though, I don’t really get the car association, seeing as how there are several other makes I’d rather own. I’d even consider some Kia’s, but that might be my half-Koreaness (is that a thing?) coming into play. Which might make it raycess. Who knows. What I do know is that Kia stands for Keeping It Awesome, and that’s all that matters. So here we are, ranking the running backs, and the first thing that I think of is a little boy’s village being attacked by a vicious tiger named Chaka Khan Shere Khan. During the attack, he gets lost in a jungle and ends up meeting a wise bear and black panther, who both talk. Which sounds like a good acid trip. Or the plot to The Jungle Book. Why this is the first thing that came to mind is the more interesting subject, but I have no idea how to tackle it. So this whole thing will have to stand on its own. Yeah, I have no clue either. Rankings forward!

Please, blog, may I have some more?