You ever watch that move Napoleon Dynamite? Come on, you’re looking at advanced statistics for your imaginary football team — I KNOW you’ve got that movie on DVD and a “Vote for Pedro” shirt sitting non-ironically in your closet. ENYWHEY, there’s the character of Uncle Rico, who kept taking film of himself throwing a football in an effort to chuck it over a local mountain or grain field or really, just about any object that could be placed in front of him. Now, after the complete decimation that your fantasy football team received in week 2, are you thinking, nay, hoping that some team will sign Uncle Rico so he can bring his swagger and dynamite — see what I did there? — arm to your favorite team? Well, worry not! Blake Bortles has come back! Undrafted free agent Nick Mullens is taking the field! Taysom Hill is making $8 million to be the third best quarterback on the Saints and he’s completed 6 passes in his NFL career. And Kaep is still on the outside. At this point, let’s give Uncle Rico a shot. Heck, Gardner Minshew is 90% Uncle Rico DNA. Fingers crossed no more QBs get hurt in Week 3, otherwise you should be gearing up to start Dwayne Haskins in your next DFS hot taek.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did you know that Rudy Gamble spent a full year at BBQ joints across the south and midwest studying to prepare the Pigskinonator? That’s dedication! Ultimately, pit bosses got wise to his tricks when he kept complaining about the “small sample size” of pulled pork he was getting. After his sojourn, Rudy returned to the nacho-cheese coated interior of Razzball Headquarters and developed the most advanced imaginary football management player performance predictor in existence: The Pigskinonator. Ultimately we had to get a restaurant permit because it turned out that Rudy really did roast a whole hog every time he ran the numbers. He said offers of roasted pork shoulder really appeased the fantasy football gods. Anywho. You should take a gander at the premium football offerings that Rudy provides because they’re legitimately the best way to think about whether you want to start Boston Scott or Nyheim Hines this week. Starting at $1 a week, you’re getting Rudy’s constantly updated weekly rankings, which account for, well, everything. If you’re into daily fantasy, check out the DFS option, which gives you an awesome lineup optimization tool that will make setting a competitive DFS lineup a breeze. On Rudy’s #1 projected lineup for the Thurs-Monday slate on DraftKings last week, I made nearly 300% return on investment. Whether it be your office league or DFS, all fantasy sports is about stacking the odds, and it’s good to have a tool in your belt that can help out in a pinch. 

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[put on the chillhop radio station and just let it flow] 

Welcome everyone! It’s a privilege to have you here in the Year of the Bubble. No doubt you’ve been refreshing training camp vids and working on your Austin Ekeler-style abs for the past few months. Some of you have been following Razzball Football in the off-season the whole way and you have read every last word. Thank you! Some of you are coming out of fantasy football hibernation right now, and you’re looking for the best fantasy football content to help you win your (virtual) office league. Welcome back! 

Without further ado, let’s kickoff our weekly look at the Top 30 Quarterbacks!

Top 30 Quarterbacks Header

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How could the guys top Ryan McDowell, Andy Behrens, Danny Kelly, reigning RazzBowl champion Mike Beers (yes, he insisted that be his title)? Well, we couldn’t. So, it’s just the OGs. The original guys, that’s what that stands for, right? Anyway, B_Don reviewed Donkey Teeth’s QB Rankings and came prepared with questions. 

We start at the top with Lamar Jackson vs. Patrick Mahomes debate. Not the way I would’ve expected each of us to go on this one, but I’m in on Lamar. DT makes his bold call with Kyler coming in at 3, and his love of Josh Allen knows no bounds as the Buffalo QB comes in at 6.

Both of us are down on Dak Prescott after a breakout 2020 season. Of course, Donkey Teeth loves the ‘stache, just can’t help himself. We wrap by talking about some veteran QBs that DT has pushed behind rookie, Joe Burrow.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every year there are a handful of players that can elevate a fantasy team to the championship or sink it to the depths of the standings. All players are unique in their skill sets, team context, and career trajectory but some profiles do line up. 

As we get into draft season, we’re all trying to avoid the next big bust. With injuries, it’s often just bad luck but often times we can see a storm brewing around a player. Last year Le’Veon Bell was returing after a season off on a new team with a lackluster coach and a disappointment was almost too easy to spot, but many fell for it anyway. In the name of value, drafters will hold their nose and take players they know they shouldn’t. Sometimes it’s just best to avoid a bad situation.

So who will be this year’s not NEXT team? (ADPs via fantasydata)

Jared Gofftop 10 QB who is demoted to streamer

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Have you signed up for your chance at an entry into the 2020 RazzBowl yet? Remember when you tried out for your high school’s rendition of Little Women back in the day, but didn’t make the cut? Well now you have one more shot at fame and glory. So what are you waiting for!? I know, beating some idiot named Donkey Teeth in the largest fantasy football joes vs. pros best ball contest in the world may not sound all that glamorous, but Andy Behrens, Heath Cummings, Jake Ciely, Jeff Erickson, Derek Van Riper and Michael Salfino will all be competing too, along with a slew of other big names from the fantasy football world. Darik Buchar of the National Fantasy Football Championship joined us on last week’s podcast to discuss the RazzBowl format and strategy. The Boof and I also talk a little about the RazzBowl format on our wildly popular new YouTube show, Fantasy Football Malpractice (11:20 mark):

In other news, the 2020 dynasty and redraft rankings page—including positional rookie rankings, devy rankings and IDP rankings— is filling out almost as quickly as my quarantine waistline. A couple days ago I gave you my top 10 quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football. Without further adieu or click-bait, here’s the top 20 quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:

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I wrote my original dynasty quarterback rankings while tripping on mushrooms, which led to Kyler Murray ahead of Deshaun Watson and Tua Tagovailoa ahead of Joe Burrow. Now I’ve moved on to a delightful concoction of LSD and MDMA. Because pandemics are once in a lifetime events, make the most of it. Needless to say, I’m not backing of the drug-induced hot takes. But I did make a few tweaks to my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football: 

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Quarantine Day 25:

I made a fire in the yard today while pondering my 2020 dynasty rankings. As I gazed into the flames, a series of vivid images began to appear. The Lord of Light was sending me a divine message about dynasty quarterbacks. Or maybe the mushrooms I had eaten were starting to kick in, hard to say. Either way, a life-size image of Kyler Murray arose from the blazing inferno. The meaning was clear, this dull and uneventful 20th year after 2000 will forever be know as the year of Kyler, and nothing else. Anyway, here’s my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:   

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Strategy hardly ever changes for quarterbacks. Late round quarterback has been the way to go for quite some time in the fantasy football world. The last two seasons we had eruptions from late round quarterbacks Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson. We even had a big late season showing from Jameis Winston who was being drafted outside of the top 10 of quarterbacks. Fantasy football seems so easy!

The difficulty always lies in finding the RIGHT late round quarterback. If you put your sleeper eggs into the Mitchell Trubisky basket, you probably found yourself drowning your sorrows in a bottle Malort. Ahh, Malort. My favorite Malort saying is, “It’s easier telling someone that you have nothing to live for.” 

Rookie quarterbacks are so exciting. There are always a few exciting new names to look closely at. I was extremely impressed watching Joe Burrow a couple of weeks back. We already know that Burrow is 99.99999% going to be a Cincinnati Bengal next year. Unless he decides to pull an Eli Manning and tells his agent that he would refuse to sign in a rust belt industrial purgatory. So assuming Burrow ends up smoking cigars in Cincinnati, the Bengals would be wise to improve their offensive line during free agency. The Bengals ranked 26th in the NFL in adjusted sack rate in 2019. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?