Strategy hardly ever changes for quarterbacks. Late round quarterback has been the way to go for quite some time in the fantasy football world. The last two seasons we had eruptions from late round quarterbacks Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson. We even had a big late season showing from Jameis Winston who was being drafted outside of the top 10 of quarterbacks. Fantasy football seems so easy!

The difficulty always lies in finding the RIGHT late round quarterback. If you put your sleeper eggs into the Mitchell Trubisky basket, you probably found yourself drowning your sorrows in a bottle Malort. Ahh, Malort. My favorite Malort saying is, “It’s easier telling someone that you have nothing to live for.” 

Rookie quarterbacks are so exciting. There are always a few exciting new names to look closely at. I was extremely impressed watching Joe Burrow on a couple of weeks back. We already know that Burrow is 99.99999% going to be a Cincinnati Bengal next year. Unless he decides to pull an Eli Manning and tells his agent that he would refuse to sign in a rust belt industrial purgatory. So assuming Burrow ends up smoking cigars in Cincinnati, the Bengals would be wise to improve their offensive line during free agency. The Bengals ranked 26th in the NFL in adjusted sack rate in 2019. 

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Week 16 highlights another of the beauties of DFS.

While most leagues – more importantly, correctly run leagues – end their seasons in Week 16 with a one-week championship, DFS continues onwards. DFS braves the unpredictable nature of Week 17, goes all throughout the NFL playoffs, and extends fantasy football fandom to the very last play of the year.

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As the season winds to a close it’s time to stop flirting with the transition to 2020 and dive in. This isn’t to say I’m done with 2019, not even close. I’m planning an upcoming long form article with an entire season review, but writing only a single article this week I thought it would enjoyable to provide my early .5 PPR first-round rankings for 2020. I’ve been searching around for others who have engaged in this exercise and it looks like I might be the first brave soul to assuredly be laughed at next summer. For those of you that are here for week 16 nuggets, congrats! You are either loyal readers, or trying to win a championship! Don’y worry, I’ve still got you covered at the bottom.

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We have been discussing overarching themes to the 2019 fantasy football season and how that may affect the 2020 season. During this time, I’ve been beating around the bush. We all know the biggest story of 2019, and what the biggest question of 2020 will be: To Lamar, or not to Lamar? I’ve avoided the question for the past month. Why? Because, my answer is going to be on the very unpopular side of the aisle. Lamar Jackson is going to be worth a 1st round pick in 2020.

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I was watching NFL Network Sunday morning and a commercial came on that made me double take:

That’s right, there’s a curved erection epidemic running rampant in America! This advertisement created more questions than answers. First, what are the scientific qualifications for a shaft to earn the “diseased” label? Are we talking right angles or a bit more obtuse? Is there a special penis protractor to measure the exact angles? And what’s the treatment plan for this condition? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. But I am curious, who was this Peyronie guy? Whoever he was, thanks to him, the family name will forever go down as the crooked erection guys. The point is, no matter how terrible your fantasy football team was this season, things could be worse. You could be watching targeted erectile deformity ads on Sunday mornings. Even if you just got done searching Amazon for a penis protractor, at least the curved dong disease wasn’t named after you. And there’s always next year! So let’s all zip up our pants and shift our attention over to my early 2020 top 100 dynasty football PPR rankings which will be released into your veins–arm veins– via four-part slow drip: 

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Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we will look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out. Stats courtesy of PlayerProfiler.com.

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While B_Don continues his trek across Europe, Donkey Teeth is joined by another special RazzBowl guest: Heath Cummings of CBS Sports. Heath elaborates on his self proclaimed “terrible draft strategy”, his improbable RazzBowl title run and his dream of taking the fabled RazzBowl Trophy out to a nice candlelight dinner at his favorite pub. The guys also discuss the future of several players from Heath’s team including Lamar Jackson, Rashaad Penny, Zach Ertz, Dallas Goedert and Tevin Coleman.

Then in the pickups segment, Cummings tears apart Donkey’s top 5 pickups for week 14. These recommendations include Darwin Thompson, Raheem Mostert, Patrick Laird, Jordan Wilkins and Anthony Miller. Heath and DT also chat about a few deep league options like Myles Gaskin, Zay Jones, Russell Gage, Jakobi Meyers and Pharoh Cooper before Donkey heads off to have his teeth taken care of at the dentist.

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Clap once if your owner is sick of your sh*t. Clap twice if you got washed at home by Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills on Thanksgiving. Clap ferociously if the Miami Dolphins kept you in the division race!! Jason Garrett needs to send 100 Christmas gift baskets to DeVante Parker’s home. All of the lotions, candy canes, Starbucks special blends, hot chocolate, maybe even a Visa gift card or two. 

DeVante Parker’s career was looking dead in the water after 4 disappointing seasons as a first round draft pick from the great University of Louisville that lost me money this weekend against Kentucky. DeVante Parker has completely turned it around in 2019. In fact, he is now an every week fantasy football starter and it’s not close going into the playoffs. Parker is easily on pace for his first 1,000 yard season and his previous career high was 744. Parker is just 4 receptions short of his previous career high and already has 2 more touchdowns than his previous highest mark. 

There’s definitely a possibility that Adam Gase is the match that lit the dumpster fire that were his first 4 seasons. In fact, it’s most likely a large factor. Playing with Ryan Fitzpatrick has also most likely been a game changer for Parker. Also, Brian Flores just seems like a delight to play for. He cares, you can tell. I picked up on this during their Monday Night Football game against the Steelers. It’s a totally different culture in Miami. And sometimes, a different culture is what a player needs, even if a change to a different squad doesn’t happen. Here is what else I saw in the early slate on Sunday. 

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