Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now that I’ve given you my Top 25, Top 50 and Top 75 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football, I’ll elaborate a little more on my general dynasty football philosophy. If you gathered some of the stale bread crumbs I left in the first three segments, you may have understood my philosophy to be one part L. Ron Hubbard, one part Antonio Brown and two parts Gordon Gekko. As the great Gekko once said, “I hate hockey and I don’t like kids.” Hmmm I think that’s the wrong quote from the Book of Gordon Quotes I got for Kwanzaa. That one may have been Gordon Bombay.

But getting back to the Gekko philosophy, I tend to look at my dynasty teams like investment portfolios. I tie my capital up in stable assets with upside—both at the draft and in season. This means I tend to fade the running back position. By nature, running backs aren’t stable due to the physical toll their work takes on the body and their greater dependence on offensive schemes, as well as the supporting cast around them.

Of course you won’t be winning your fantasy championship without at least a couple good RBs, so I focus the back end of my portfolio on a handful of growth or even penny stock backs with a chance to skyrocket into Phillip Lindsay or Raheem Mostert types. All of that said, there isn’t one ‘right way’ to invest. So acquire the players you believe in, build around them, and stay flexible in your views. Anyway, here’s my top 100 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the season winds to a close it’s time to stop flirting with the transition to 2020 and dive in. This isn’t to say I’m done with 2019, not even close. I’m planning an upcoming long form article with an entire season review, but writing only a single article this week I thought it would enjoyable to provide my early .5 PPR first-round rankings for 2020. I’ve been searching around for others who have engaged in this exercise and it looks like I might be the first brave soul to assuredly be laughed at next summer. For those of you that are here for week 16 nuggets, congrats! You are either loyal readers, or trying to win a championship! Don’y worry, I’ve still got you covered at the bottom.

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You see the struggles of the Cleveland Browns. You see the incompetence of Freddie Kitchens. You see the public turning on Baker Mayfield.

I beg of you. Please don’t sell Odell Beckham Jr.

The list of wide receivers in the last 2 years who finished top 10 in targets and top 5 in overall air yards that didn’t finish in the top 10 of fantasy football wide receivers is blank. Beckham is currently tied for 9th in targets per game among wide receivers. He is 5th in overall air yards. He is currently the 22nd rated WR in PPR. It is incredibly unlikely with the usage he is receiving, even factoring in a poor schedule, that OBJ doesn’t end the year as a WR1. Do not bail! In the interest of full disclosure I predicted Beckham as my fantasy MVP in the pre-season so I’m going down with this ship, but I’ve provided a really compelling argument to go along with my bias!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chris Godwin could only watch hopelessly last week as Mike Evans gave Jameis Winston some of his family’s secret man meat and then went on to catch 3 touchdowns. After the game, having seen the way to Winston’s heart, Godwin immediately went to work on a wurst recipe of his own. We’ll never know exactly how it went down when Godwin presented his juicy wiener to Jameis in the locker room early Monday morning. What we do know is, Chris Godwin reclaimed his position atop Winston’s best friends list receiving 14 targets against the Rams which he turned into 12 catches for 172 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. What will Mike Evans (4 catches for 89 yards and his 4th touchdown) put in his quarterbacks’ mouth next week to regain the favor of Jameis Winston (28/41 for 385 yards and 4 touchdowns)? Stay tuned! Anyway, MB covered yesterday’s early games but here’s what else I saw in the late games for fantasy football:

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In leagues where rosters are 30 players deep and waivers are plucked clean, it’s important not to overreact after week 1. This is especially true for players on the back-end of your roster that won’t see much of the field this year. The hyped rookie that you drafted isn’t burning you by sitting in your 27th roster spot. It’s important to temper your expectations on these rookies and not fall victim to week 1.

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Well that was… Something? Do we live in some sort of simulation where everything that we get excited for ends up being a disappointment? Yesterday was truly an exhausting day to be a fantasy football enthusiast and football fan in general. I’m used to bad Thursday night games to open up the season. It’s pretty much an expectation at this point. But when an unenthusiastic game is preceded by some tidbits of bad news it can put a dark cloud over things. At least the first full Sunday is only two days away!

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Roto-Wan aka Mike Alexander joins B_Don and Donkey on this week’s fantasy football pod. Off the top they discuss the podcast superflex auction league which drafted earlier this week. Then they dive in on Roto-Wan’s RazzBowl draft, discussing his strategy coming in, as well as some of his draft picks including Todd Gurley, David Montgomery, Kyler Murray, and Parris Campbell.

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I’m sure you’ve been wondering, “Why did Donkey Teeth retreat into solitude after executing such a flawless RazzBowl draft?”  The truth is, when you draft the most dominant RazzBowl team in the history of RazzBowl teams drafted by a Donkey hopped up on green juices and hallucinogens, withdrawal is unavoidable.

Please, blog, may I have some more?