What’s going on everyone, and welcome to the final week of the fantasy season (for those of you smart enough to not have a Week 17)! If you care about this post, congratulations on making it into the championship! The hard work shouldn’t stop now though, so let’s break down this upcoming week and talk about some players you should put in your lineup, and some you probably shouldn’t.

Let’s get to it!

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I’m bored with reviewing five or six games per week. I feel suffocated, you know? Why keep me tied down to just writing about half of Sunday’s games? It’s my Monday column, why not bring the realness. Like Marky Mark says in The Other Guys, “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!” I want to go position by position and see how it flows.

So what are two fun categories to correctly identify each? Well, ‘Stars’ is easy. It’s clear and to the point. What could possibly categorize something so blind-siding and awful that it sucks the life right out of your fantasy team that stays with the astrology theme? There has to be something that’s, let’s say, related to the misery of being a Raiders fan. There literally can’t be anything worse. I’ve got it. Black holes. Now that we have that covered, let’s start with quarterbacks…

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The sausage lovers are back at it again this week, talking rookie wide receivers. Donkey Teeth gushes over his freshly realized love for the rookie receiver class as a whole while B_Don is a little more reserved with his heart. 

The guys go in depth on their profiles of rookie speedsters DJ Moore, Christian Kirk, and Keke Coutee while also re-visiting Antonio Callaway and Tre’Quan Smith. Find out how to prioritize all the rookie WRs for the rest of this season. 

And don’t miss the A-hole of the week along with a quick session of Sausage, Cheesehead, Ditka featuring Da Bears own Tarik Cohen and Drew Brees. Put some premium sausage in your mouth right here:

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Readers, I am a hot little potato this morning. I decided to dabble in a little offshore gambling this past weekend as I sometimes do. You know what? My day was going pretty well. The Panthers covered in a pretty worry-free affair. The Cardinals marched down and scored a game winning touchdown on the final drive. I’m sitting at 2-0 thinking that there is no way that I am getting to 3-0 because I laid 7.5 points and took the Rams. All of a sudden, the Packers fumble the kick off with two minutes to go in the fourth quarter. I have life! The Rams have the ball at the 20 and the best running back in football. The Packers best chance of getting the ball back is letting Gurley walk in the end zone and hope for a missed extra point. 

The first two plays were dumb reverses and now all of a sudden, it is 3rd down with just under a minute to go. The Rams snap it and toss the ball to Todd Gurley with blockers ahead of him. Gurley busts through the first ten yards, the play is looking good. Gurley is outrunning everybody and has a clear path to the end zone that he makes 10 out of 10 times. He stops. Right at the damn 5 or so yard line. My heart sinks. It’s the smartest football play he could’ve made. But C’MON GURLEY! Pad those stats and pad my wallet in the process. Team players aren’t good for fantasy or gambling, folks. I’ll take my fury out on these game review takes. 

Be sure to check out our most popular tool, the trade analyzer. You like to trade? Rudy would love to help! It’s free, comprehensive, and simple to use. 

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I have witnessed one of the worst overtime games that I have ever seen. There was an interception, a fumbled punt, and a coach that doesn’t know the overtime rules. Jameis Winston threw an interception in Tampa Bay territory leaving the Browns with only about 15 yards to gain to give them a shot at a game-winning field goal. Tampa Bay held strong on defense and forced a punt. Jameis Winston then puts together a terrible 3 and out. Tampa punts the ball and strips Jabrill Peppers leaving the Buccaneers with the ball right around mid field. Jameis is able to complete a pass to DeSean Jackson to get inside the 40 setting up a 59-yard field goal attempt from a kicker who previously missed an extra point and a 40 yard field goal to win the game in regulation. One would think the Buccaneers coaching staff would go for it on 4th and long because the chances of Catanzaro making this kick are slim to none. NO! KICK IT! They did… He made it… What is life? Let’s get to some individual player tidbits from that dumb game.

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Cheerio everyone! We get our first taste of morning football this season as the Chargers and Titans head across the pond to give us the glorious 9:30AM EST NFL action we’ve all been waiting for. Let’s start with this game and touch a couple others that you should be keeping an eye out for.

Chargers vs Titans (London Game)

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Three overtime games, no ties! I’m the least OCD person you’ll ever meet. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a dirty person. Do I miss the laundry basket from time to time? Sure. But, the dishes get done, the rooms get cleaned, etc etc. One thing that I am OCD about is team records with ties in it. Thet say that ties are like kissing your sister but apparently there is a corner of the internet that is into that, but I haven’t found people that are into ties. Maybe I’m just not into 3rd columns. This could be one of the reasons that I never got into watching soccer or hockey. It makes me cringe when I see the standings. Don’t even ask me to look at the NFC or AFC North standings, woof. It makes the standings look messy and it upsets me that these teams couldn’t figure it out in 70 minutes. If one of the four teams that already has a tie in this young season ends up in another tie this season I will be beside myself. How do you figure out playoff scenarios for teams with TWO (2) ties? I don’t have to worry about it for now so there is no reason to get too stressed out about it. Let’s talk about some games, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?