(Doc’s Note: Take me on in the Razzball $250 Week 6 Fantasy Football Tournament. There are $250 in prizes up for grabs and it’s $1 to join. And if you beat me (cgdoc), you’ll win an extra $5.)

The NFL season, in all its emerging, adolescent glory is fully upon us.  I’ve always thought of the beginning of the bye weeks as sort of the start of puberty for the NFL each year.  Teams are moving from the joys of childhood, where everything was fresh and new, to the awkwardness of the teenage years where trying to find your identity becomes a top priority.  You have the golden child pushed vicariously by his parents to succeed, until he burns out and becomes a recreational farmer (sorry San Fran, you’re just not that good), the kid who was taller than everyone else, but hasn’t grown in two years (hello Pittsburgh), the girl who just transferred from another state, carrying a mystique that is largely attributed to infatuated romanticism (howdy Mr. Tebow), and the oblivious youth who approaches the ladies with disproportionate confidence, yet to realize the necessity of deodorant and shaving that ridiculous, pencil-thin mustache (nothing personal Philly.)  And of course, there’s always that girl you don’t see all summer, and then when school starts back looks, well ummm, transformed (will you go to prom with me Detroit?)

How many of you recognized these characters from your own youth?

Anyways, back on track.

Last week was pretty exciting from a fantasy perspective, with many breakout players backing up previous flashes of brilliance with an exclamation point, and in that vein I’ll be introducing a new section titled ‘How Awesome I Am’.  It’s really not as conceited as it seems, I just needed a title and ‘Last Weeks Recap’ sounded a tad bland.  I think the one I chose has a nice ring to it.  The goal of new said content is to boisterously proclaim my successes, while distracting you with sleight of hand and other magical means from my slightly off target projections (really Denarius Moore, really, 0 points?)

For my first trick I’ll need a volunteer from the audience………….


So from what I can see, and keep in mind that I wear glasses, it seems as though last week was pretty successful.  Remember the goal of these articles is to find hidden gems for bargain basement prices, so the rest of your cap can be used to purchase known quantities.  We had Doug Baldwin, Victor Cruz, and Steve Breaston all doing their best WR1 impressions, and it’s very likely that if you added any of them to your squad you were able to make a few bucks.  Other guys were not so lucky, as the aforementioned Moore was held without a catch, Hasselbeck and Washington were held in contempt of Polamalu, and Jacoby Jones once again forgot he was playing football.  Johnathan Dwyer stills plays football (?), relegating Redman to second fiddle on the Steelers M.A.S.H. unit, and Stevan Ridley is being underutilized at the mercy of the hoodie.  I’m also worried for the safety of Curtis Painter, who seems to be the only thing in the way of the Colts securing Andrew Luck.  As fans continue embracing the ‘Suck For Luck’ mentality, I grimace to think of what will happen if Painter posts a few more games with these sorts of numbers.  If they win, I predict total chaos in the streets.  Speaking of QB’s, Andy Dalton has become an effective game manager and is showing some promise for a Cincy offense that is fantasy-relevant beyond Cedric Benson.  It’s also been two weeks in a row that I’ve found you a bad-ass kicker, be impressed.


Colt McCoy $7600:  Don’t look now but there is more to Cleveland than firing coaches and worrying about where they’ll pick in the top 5.  Stealthily navigating under the radar, the passing game has quietly become an effective ragtag ensemble, spearheaded by the shifty McCoy.  Going up against a paltry Raiders defense I fully expect the Browns to come out firing in an effort to shrug off an embarrassing loss to the Titans.  Think Curtis Painter from last week point total.

Daniel Thomas $6800/Reggie Bush $6000/Lex Hilliard $4800:  Okay, this one’s a bit tricky so let’s roll up our metaphorical sleeves (or real ones if you happen to be wearing a long sleeve shirt, but I digress.)  If Thomas is good to go, he’s the guy I want.  The Dolphins have zero confidence in a passing game that no longer exists (don’t let the guy lining up under center fool you, that’s just a formality), and will be pounding the ball hard against a New York team that gave The Law Firm the biggest day of his career.  If Thomas can’t go then it’s a toss-up between Bush and Hilliard, with Hilliard being the safer option in relation to his price tag/risk ratio, and Bush being the guy that could decide to wake up for a game and go off for 25 points.  In any case, the Jets rush defense is putrid and someone has to benefit.  The trick will be paying attention to the buzz coming out of the Dolphins camp to try and figure out who.

James Starks $6900:  He plays for the Packers.  The Packers play against the Rams.  The Rams.  Did I mention what team he plays for and who they play?

AJ Green $6800:  It’s been exciting to watch the chemistry develop between Dalton and Green.  What’s surprised me more than anything is how little time it’s taken for their relationship to bloom into something worthy of a Jane Austen novel.  We all knew how talented Green was coming out, but no one expected him to be playing at such a high level, with a rookie quarterback, and for a team that was so bad a year ago.  The young man gets to feast on a hapless Colts D that surely wants no part of Green’s athleticism.  He’s as close to a must buy this week as you can get.

Marques Colston $6400/Mike Williams (TB) $6400:  I list these two together because I have a hunch, nothing more, nothing less.  Both are elite talents, and perfectly capable of breaking out for huge games on any given Sunday, but for one reason or another haven’t been able to get anything going this season.  Their lack of production has dropped them to a very affordable price.  I trust Colston more, if for no other reason than the guy who’s slinging him the stone.

Evan Moore $4800:  Browns coach Pat Shurmur openly proclaimed this week that Moore will be given more attention in the offense going forward.  Anyone with two eyes could see that Moore’s unique athleticism and hands for a 6’6 receiver were too apparent for anyone but a blind man to miss.  Against a weak Raiders defense I expect Moore to be a major part of the Browns red zone game plan.

Other Notables:  Andy Dalton $6400, Darren Sproles $7100, Montario Hardesty $5200, Victor Cruz $6000, Laurent Robinson $4800, Dez Bryant $7400, Miles Austin $7700, Vernon Davis $6700, Dan Bailey $5300, Green Bay $5300, Greg Little $5200, Mohamed Massaquoi $5200.


(Note: This could probably have been included as regular content, but doesn’t anything under the heading of ‘bonus section’ just make you feel good on the inside about the value you’re getting?)

So last week I told you that I was done with all things Shanahan when it came to Fantasy Football, but I’ve once again been lured in by that cruel mistress that is the dominatrix of RBBC’s.  Against Philly I almost feel obligated at this point to start the opposing running back.  I have absolutely no clue how to assess the situation, and I’m sure in the end Larry Johnson will end up getting signed and go for 137 yards on 19 carries with a touchdown.  In fact there you have it, I’m not recommending any of the backs currently on the roster, I’m going with Larry Johnson.

My official unofficial endorsement but not actually is Ryan Torain, but since I’ve cluttered it with qualifiers you can’t get mad when he’s traded to the CFL for a pair of cleats and Doug Flutie right before the game.

Happy bargain hunting folks, and best of luck getting through these teenage years.  They grow up so fast.

You can follow Crazy Gabey on Twitter here

  1. Mike says:

    I have a hunch that Mike Williams (Seattle) will get a big fat zero this week (since the Seahawks are on a bye week).

  2. Crazy Gabey says:

    Your hunch > My hunch

    Good catch bro, not sure why I put Seattle and not Tampa. Maybe he’ll get traded before Sunday and I’ll look like a genius.

  3. Asher Molk

    Asher Molk says:

    This is a fantastically written and very entertaining article. Well done!

  4. Crazy Gabey says:

    Glad you liked it bro!

  5. Mike says:

    If they traded the Mike’s then we would refer to you as Nostradamus !! Good article — I might have gleamed a player or two for this weekend’s fanduel ……

  6. Mike says:

    LOL, I just noticed your Grizzly Adams photo… awesome !

  7. eyyoitsmejerry says:

    So… this doesnt count as a freeroll? Right?

  8. Doc

    Doc says:

    @eyyoitsmejerry: Nope, it’s a dollar game.

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