I’m no longer a baby, at least technically speaking, but I do enjoy the soothing relief of a baby wipe from time to time. I’m not sure if you spend as much time pondering the baby wipe market as I do, probably not. But I’ve determined that in a bind, a package of Pampers would be worth upwards of $500 to me. And while a package of  those sensual wipes might be valued at $500 in my mind, I’m not going around offering up $500 when they’re available on Amazon for $4.99. Such is the case with all of my 2020 fantasy football rankings which I’ve slaved over tirelessly for your reading and mocking pleasure over the past three months while locked in my cage at Razzball Headquarters, far away from the echo chamber. What I mean is, just because I have Austin Ekeler and Kerryon Johnson ranked absurdly high, doesn’t mean I’m drafting them in the 1st and 5th rounds respectively. If the market wants to give me those sweet moisture filled wipes for 10 cents on the dollar, or Ekeler in the 2nd round or Kerryon in the 9th round, who am I to argue? I’ve written slightly more in depth and nonsensical thoughts about all of these players as I worked thru my 2020 fantasy football positional rankings, take a look back if you’re interested in more gibberish. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2020 PPR fantasy football:

Have you been paying attention to the recent player opt outs from around the NFL? If you have, then you know ole Billy Belichick and his dog are up to something. As of this writing, 39 NFL players have opted out of the 2020 season with 8 of those players being New England Patriots. A lot of fans and analysts are speculating the Patriots are encouraging opt outs as they tank for Trevor Lawrence (the consensus top QB pick in next year’s draft class), but I think it’s something much more sinister. Like maybe there’s an asteroid on a collision course with Earth and Belichick plus those eight Patriots have been selected for a space mission to save humanity. Sorry, I watched Armageddon over the weekend. Maybe Belichick encouraged (or even incentivized) anyone remotely considering an opt out to do it early so he has more time to prepare and fill those holes? Seems more likely than the space mission anyway. Speaking of the Patriots, I amended the top 20 quarterback rankings to include new Patriot quarterback Cam Newton after his signing. Now for the top 30 quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:

As I scrolled thru my Twitter feed Sunday night I noticed a trending hashtag (#WeWantToPlay) led by a host NFL players. Russell Wilson, Patrick Mahomes, J.J. Watt and dozens of other big names took to social media voicing their concerns about the NFL’s “unacceptable” COVID guidelines. Now I’m all for player safety, and I’m not one to side with the billionaire elites, but I’ve also seen reports of NFL players ignoring the NFLPA’s social distancing guidelines for months now. Russell Wilson and D.K. Metcalf—two of the many stars who tweeted Sunday—posted a workout video together just three weeks ago. Brady, LJax and Cam have all been seen gathering with teammates recently as well. And then there’s guys like Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott hosting a pandemic party back in April. This all reminds me of when I used to go to McDonald’s to eat my daily four Big Mac, six large fry lunch. Then I’d have my Jenny Craig beet and kale salad for dinner. On the verge of my fourth heart attack, I took to social media complaining that Jenny Craig didn’t protect me. Why don’t you care about my poor heart Jenny, WHYYYY!? Anyway, I’m sure there’s players out there actually following the social distancing guidelines, and they’re the real losers here. Them and us middle aged 600 pound men cursing Jenny Craig from our mother’s basement while praying for a 2020 football season. But forward we march under the assumption of a pandemic football season; the 2020 fantasy football rankings show must go on!  Last week I gave you my top 40 wide receivers for 2020 fantasy football (which I’ve since tweaked), now on to the top 60 wide receivers for 2020 PPR fantasy football: