Eliteflaccow415

During last night’s live thread, I queried: Which Michael Vick would show up? The “watch me earn salary I’m going to do nothing to justify” Vick, or the “I’m going to trigger my disability insurance” Vick. Turns out, it was a little bit of both. I mean, let’s be honest, you can take Michael Vick out of the Jets, but can you really take the Jets out of Michael Vick? While the Ravens 2015 season is still on life-support with a resoundingly dull win in overtime (special thanks to Josh Scobee for doing his best Josh Scobee impersonation, missing like 80 field goals, and all of them in the fourth quarter), it was nice to see Justin Forsett is actually alive and quite well. I had assumed he was legally declared dead, but the gaining of positive yardage was enough evidence to change my opinion on that matter. Despite all of that, watching Scobee slowly (or quickly, depending on how you viewed the game) get into the unemployment line combined with Vick’s underwhelming performance, along with Joe Flacco’s elite everything, all topped off with the worst decision-making by coaches in a long time… well, I’m going to go ahead and call last nights game “Physically Impossible”. Because it sucked and blowed at the same time…

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Stay classy Baltimore!

Stay classy Baltimore!

In what will be the official debut of “Don’t Give a Sh*t Era” Michael Vick, the 0-3 Ravens travel to Pittsburgh to see if their team is interested in a getting a win. Strangely enough, this was the first ever winless September for the Ravens. Unless you count in terms of public relations, then I would say, based on the picture above, that last season’s September winless record is still intact. The Steelers have their own set of issues with the aforementioned Michael Vick starting with Ben Roethlisberger suffering a MCL sprain last Sunday. While I’m sure still having Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell is nothing to scoff at, it’ll be interesting to see which Vick shows up tonight; will it be the “watch me earn salary I’m going to do nothing to justify” type of game or “I’m going to trigger my disability insurance” type of game. You’d think both would be similar performances, but then you’d be wrong. The game will probably come down to how productive Le’Veon Bell is, now his second official game coming off his suspension. Logic dictates that since Justin Forsett has been an absolute dumpster fire that the Ravens would not be familiar enough with the concept of a running game to be able to defend against it, but I guess we’ll see. On the bright side, the Ravens do have an elite quarterback…

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Period Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
Week 3 59.1% 18 out of 134 65.0% 42.1% Top 15%
Week 2 53.4% 85 out of 135 65.2% 46.2% Top 65%
Week 1 56.8% 54 out of 137 62.8% 46.3% Top 40%
2015 56.4% 34 out of 132 60.8% 48.0% Top 30%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

As the title states (as do the numbers) we are back to kicking ass and chewing bubble gum. And boy am I out of bubble gum. In last week’s rankings post, I mentioned that we would be putting forth a new process for ranking players (or I guess in this case, returning to my original process), and the results were telling. Small sample size (that’s what she said) will always been an issue, but I think the numbers produced were promising, and I’ll be keeping with the same methodology to better serve your Fantasy Football Teams. Here are your Week 4 Rankings…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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HISTORY IN THE MAKING PEOPLE

HISTORY IN THE MAKING PEOPLE

In what was an oft-rainy night an Lambeau Field (IF ONLY IT WERE SNOW, WE’D ALL EXPLODE), our long national nightmare finally ended. No, Alex Smith did not retire. Instead, he finally threw a touchdown to a receiver (shown above), something that hadn’t happened in the Chiefs last 17 games. Or, in calendar terms, not since December 8th, 2013. Folks, Andy Reid’s long con has finally paid off. That being said, it’s so very Chiefs that the record-breaking extravaganza for a useless stat occurred in a game in which they basically got blown out. The garbage time was strong with this one (even almost bringing the game within one possession with 1:25 to play before botching the two-point conversion), but it’s abundantly clear that the Chiefs may not be that good at the footballs. In a striking follow-up point, the Packers have shown that they might be pretty good at the footballs. If someone made a movie based on my time here at Razzball, it would be called: An Analytical Life. Or quite possibly WHERE ARE MY DATES? I WAS PROMISED DATES. But enough about myself and my movies, let’s make fun of Alex Smith more…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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lXRDURi

After giving away a win to Peyton Manning and the Broncos last week, the Chiefs look to move to 2-1 against the Packers who are from the bay that is green. I believe that’s also the name of a Dr. Seuss poem. Or maybe I’m just a poetic person. OR MAYBE WHO CARES. Much like how I feel about this game. Sure, on paper the match-up is interesting, only because the principle cast involves guys like Jamaal Charles, Randall Cobb, Aaron Rodgers, Eddie Lacy… okay, I’m seeing a theme here. The principle cast is essentially from Milwaukee. But don’t let that dissuade you from not being entertained, we actually get another chance in our lives to see if Andy Reid will find some way to psychically eat his timeouts. I’m assuming he’s done so with the challenge flags, thinking they were ribs with ketchup on them. The game will essentially come down to how healthy Eddie Lacy and Davante Adams are, both suffering from ankle injuries this week. Both have practiced this week and are probable for tonight’s game, but if we’ve learned anything from semi-injured players miraculously being able to be suit up for their games this year, it’s that they’ll break your hearts and then punch them in the crotch. A heart-crotch punch, if you will. (See Anderson, C.J..) I’d say we’re in for an interesting game, but since it’s Monday Night Football, I’ll just say we’re in for a game. A football game, hopefully.

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bigbeninjuryw315

Ben Roethlisberger was forced from yesterday’s game against the Rams when Mark Barron fell onto his leg, bending it awkwardly. While my initial reaction was to breathe a sigh of relief for all the women out there who are mobile enough to out-run a one-legged man, my next reaction was that this looked to be a season-ending leg injury. As of now, the prognosis has gone from leg implosion to ACL injury to MCL sprain, which normally takes around six weeks to recover from. Still, while the news improved throughout the day, this remains a huge blow to not just Roethlisberger, but also to the entire Steelers offense. I doubt Michael Vick ever wanted to start another NFL game again, but here he is, ready to provide clumsy pocket-presence mixed with a canon arm that fires anywhere and everywhere you don’t want it to. So basically a worse Ben Roethlisberger. While Heath Miller probably will stay the same (for now and eternity), Antonio Brown, Markus Wheaton, and Martavis Bryant (when he returns) will likely have some issues to contend with. Le’Veon Bell benefits the most, as check-downs need to go somewhere, and there will be even more emphasis on the Steelers rushing game. That being said, it can be a double-edged sword when defenses start game-planning against such things, so we’ll have to see what kind of magic Offensive Coordinator Todd Haley has ready to go. Haha, Steelers are screwed. But don’t worry, Big Ben’s third leg still works ladies! (Whether you like it or not…)

Here’s what else I saw in Week 3…

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gvPUxhk

In what is an interesting match-up, if only because we rarely get to see it (I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT), the Broncos travel to Detroit to find out if last week’s fourth quarter “Manning being just being Manning” is actually repeatable. Much has been said of Denver’s lack of any rushing attack, mainly because of C.J. Anderson’s toe. Which seems ridiculous. I mean, you want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. I can get you a toe by three o’clock this afternoon… There are some reports that Ronnie Hillman could start splitting carries, but I’m assuming the Broncos prefer positive rushing yardage, so I’m still in the Anderson camp, health and s’mores permitting. The Lions have started 0-2, I think mainly because Matt Stafford forgot that he has a thing called Calvin Johnson on his team. A stifling (I’m running out of adjectives) Broncos defense will continue to make that relationship tense (I’m running out of metaphors), but both offenses are capable of putting up yards. I for one hope this is the most amazing game in the history of games, only because with Drew Brees looking doubtful in Week 4, we’ll have a Sunday Night Football game that features Luke McCown and Brandon Weeden coming up. Jesus.

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johnbrowntdcel

With the Late Games schedule lacking a bit, uh, what’s a good word to use here? Ooomph? Yeah, ooomph. I suppose the prime time game would be the 49ers hanging out with the Cardinals in Phoenix, or as Fox calls this match-up: “America’s Game”. Seems a bit presumptuous, since I like to think that Arizona doesn’t really exist as part of America. I suppose much of the tri-city area doesn’t really think too highly of San Francisco, but we might be getting too meta here. The Bills also go against the Dolphins, which should be an interesting defensive nap-fest, and seeing as how the Seahawks have been suffering so much, they get a one game reprieve as they go against Jimmy Clausen and the surviving members of the Bears. What’s my analysis here? Get your alcoholic beverages ready friends…

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Na na na na na na na nana Na na na na nana Gettin stabby wit it

Na na na na na na na nana, Na na na na nana, Gettin stabby wit it

With no other “marquee” match-ups for the early slate of games this Sunday, I suppose I’m pigeon-hole’d into discussing the always “just about mediocre” rivalry of the Bengals and the Ravens. Not quite up to par with the Steelers and Ravens rivalry, which usually involves a lot of angst and stabbings (Ray Lewis misses those days), the Bengals and Ravens yearly face-off’s are like the adopted child of the AFC North’s divisional games. Baltimore has seen a bit more success in the playoffs in recent memory, but that’s only because I’m comparing them to the Bengals, who last won a playoff game during the Hoover administration. This very early 2015 season though, favors Cincinnati with their 2-0 start. You might say it’s because of Skyline Chili, but then I would say, have you ever had Skyline Chili? Rather, it’s probably from the surprisingly steady play from Andy Dalton. The Ravens could have a difficult road ahead if they lose and go 0-3, but they do have Murphy’s Law on their side. Which usually ends up being the best weapon against Dalton. Plus, the Ravens have the most elite quarterback in the NFL. His 2015 fourth-quarter passing rating of 34.6 and two interceptions proves this as fact. An elite fact if you will…

Rankings have been updated for today’s games, and can be found here.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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PEAK WASHINGTON

PEAK WASHINGTON

I was promised derp, and boy did we get some derp. Sure, it took an insufferable amount of time to receive said derp (three-and-a-half quarters), along with sitting through an equally insufferable fourth quarter that lasted about 32 hours longer than it should have, but when that derp came… I mean, there was just no way to predict that Matt Jones would fumble there (shown above), but I think we all saw it coming in our hearts. And folks, it was everything I knew Washington derp would be. “District derp”, if you will. Which, coicidentally, will be the name of my new band. It’ll be a cross of Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. In a game that will further put the NFC East in flux, Washington came into Thursday Night Football as the favorites to win the division if they only existed and didn’t somehow die of dysentery. Hey, it happened all the time in Oregon Trail, which, if I remember correctly, was based on a true story. But alas, the Giants showed some competency (don’t hold your breath) and Washington returned to their roots. But with Dallas still pitting all their hopes on Brandon Weeden (now with more Matt Cassel back-up power!), and the Eagles struggling to muster two yards of total offense, the division remains up for grabs. So it wouldn’t surprise me if the 49ers somehow ended up taking division title from all of them…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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