Podcast: Do You Believe In Fitzmagic?

In a “low-energy cast”, Tehol and I return to the old school style of doing things. In that, I mean we do it Double Dragon style. For those of you who remember Nintendo, you know what’s up. For those of you who don’t, well then, just assume it’s sexual innuendo and move on. Regardless, because it was a small news week and the big “draft” Podcasts (a two-part series hopefully) won’t be created (in all it’s majesty) and all it’s parentheses until next week, we stuck to some NFL topics that are somewhat fantasy relevant… like RG-III and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Haha, fantasy relevant…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Tehol’s 2016 Rankings: Wide Receivers

August 12, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 37 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! How are things? Caught your teenage daughter was making smut films? No worries, the Lord’s wide receiver ranking are here for you, hand delivered on ruby-encrusted silver platter by my man-servant, Ralph Lifpshitz. Tis’ true, not only does he hand feed me grapes, but he stole my whole style and became a popular writer here at the site! I’m so proud; I now smile like a proud father watching his only son that made it. With that being said, I’ve been receiving (no pun intended… haha, oh, that’s really not funny) countless requests for my wideout rankings, as there are obviously many of you doing your drafts early. Why, I have no clue, but that’s what ya’ll do, so I’m going to give this to you hard and raw, like you were a Kardashian, backstage at a Black Panther Party award ceremony. Say one thing for the Kardashians, they love African-American sausage, and can you really blame them? Look at the size of those things!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Vote For Gore

August 11, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 2 Comments

by: Son

Al Gore has never received the respect he deserves. He was the 45th Vice President of the United States, the Democratic Party’s nominee for President in 2000, Nobel Peace Prize winner in 2007, on the Board of Directors of Apple, and senior advisor to Google. Yet, he’s known as the guy that “invented the internet.” The only problem with that, though, is he didn’t actually say that. What he did say was, “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.” Change a few words, take things out of context then…POOF. A narrative is born. Enough outlets pick up the headline and it becomes a national story.

Frank Gore is no longer receiving the respect that he deserves in fantasy football. According to FantasyPros ADP data, Gore is being selected as the 32nd running back and 75th player overall.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hit it or Quit it, Preseason: Let’s All Play with Our Fleeners

August 10, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football |

by: Jennifer

Good afternoon, ladies and gents, convicts and inmates, and all you sassy little pervs in between. It’s me, your gorgeous and ever so present Fantasy Football Goddess, here for your reading pleasure. How have you all been since my valiant return last week? I would expect your lives to once again have meaning and (for a majority of you) to have rekindled your passionate love for me. It’s understandable. I am one in a million. Quite a few of you seem to have remembered how awesome I am as per your comments section from last week’s article, and I thank you for all of the love. The season is crawling closer and, as promised, I am back to give you some more things to think about (other than picturing me in compromising positions). Are you as excited as I am? I doubt that. There is nothing I enjoy more than whipping men, in fantasy football, that is. But enough about me and what I enjoy doing in my spare time. Let’s cut the foreplay, turn those lights back down, bust out the “Cosby Cocktails” with a little extra sump’in, sump’in in them, and get down to business. Ask and ye shall receive, and what’s better than receiving, right? Here you go my loyal horde. Hit it or Quit it, Preseason Edition, Vol. 2.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Dynasty Rankings: Tight Ends

August 10, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 17 Comments

by: Jay

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
2015	57.5%	22 out of 123	59.9%	51.6%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

And that’s it folks. Rankings are now done, and for those of you who have asked for projections, I’ve been working on them all week and hopefully we’ll get them out some time soon. (Next week is our goal!) In the meantime, our preseason content will now start to gain a bit more focus. So here are your 2016 Tight End Dynasty Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Dynasty Rankings: Wide Receivers

August 9, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 12 Comments

by: Jay

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
2015	57.5%	22 out of 123	59.9%	51.6%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. Hey, it’s almost Déjà vu! Mostly because it is. Even more so because I borrowed that opening line from yesterday. Can you tell how much I want to get rankings over with? I can! Well, I mean, of course I can, I know exactly what I want… I am in touch with myself. I actually believe that works both literally and figuratively, which seems almost too clever, even for me. Then again, I’m almost making this intro into an existential clusterf*ck, so let’s just get to the rankings. Next up are Tight Ends and then we are finally done! WOOOOOOOOOO!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Dynasty Rankings: Running Backs

August 8, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 34 Comments

by: Jay

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
2015	57.5%	22 out of 123	59.9%	51.6%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. Hey, it’s almost Déjà vu! Mostly because it is. But hey, just like my lovemaking, we gotta get these Dynasty Rankings out quick so we can get to the real meat and potatoes of our preseason content schedule. Sex joke? Check. Food metaphor? Check. French words with multiple accents? PRICELESS. (Ripping off a Mastercard commercial joke that’s dated… uh… Check?)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Podcast: What Is Tyrod Taylor Hype May Never Die

August 5, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Podcast, Fantasy Football Podcast | 2 Comments

by: Jay

Hey! It’s our first episode of the year and it is ghetto as f*ck. Weeeeeee wouldn’t have it any other way. Trust me, if you like Rice Krispies (who doesn’t?), then I know you’ll appreciate the random snap, crackle, pops that occur, Tehol’s up-and-down noise-making, and the sound of my voice, which makes it seem we recorded this pod in a small empty closet. I cannot really confirm nor deny this, but I can say is that we covered a lot of topics from the offseason and went over our Razzball mock draft, with quite the crew assemblage. Zach, Jenn, Kevin, and Tehol all joined me during this amazing celebration of low-background static. And honestly, I can say it’ll get better from here as we’ve ordered new equipment and some editing software. We’re entering the big time folks. Or medium time. Small big-time? Yeah, let’s go with that one…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Fantasy Football Auction Values

August 5, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Fantasy Football | 8 Comments

by: Jay

Well, this is it, one of the last required information dumps (hehe, dump) for the masses in preparation for the 2016 Fantasy Football Drafts that are all coming in a month or so. We just have a few more dynasty rankings, projections, and some other surprises coming, but we are almost set in terms of laying down the foundation of this year’s fantasy content. And then, we can actually talk about all this stuff we’ve been releasing, providing context and yo momma jokes galore. And for those of you who have never played in an auction draft, or for those of you who do nothing but make it rain when you hear the words Antonio and Brown in the same sentence, I’ll go over some pointers and overall auction strategy soon, as to facilitate moderate to heavy alcohol consumption without the fear of drafting Mark Sanchez just because you thought nachos would have gone great with that glass of bourbon. Literal nachos would have, mind you…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Dynasty Rankings: Quarterbacks

August 4, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings |

by: Jay

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
2015	57.5%	22 out of 123	59.9%	51.6%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. We’ll go a bit faster with these and have them finished up on Monday so we can move to the rest of our preseason content. So enjoy this blitz of rankings after the weekend! (See what I did there? Blitz? Oh you saw.) Only the best here at Razzball. Or the worst. Who even knows anymore…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan in Chicago

August 4, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football |

by: Son

Jordan and Chicago go together like peaches and cream, Le’Veon Bell and weed, the sun and the moon, the Jets and Al Toon, wind and water, Johnny Manziel and TMZ fodder, night and day, and Razzball and fantasy pay days. The last championship for the Bears was back in 1985. It looks like management is trying to hearken the ghosts of past success by merging the iconic name of Jordan with the Windy City again.

With the 150th overall pick of the 2016 NFL Draft, the Chicago Bears selected running back Jordan Howard of Indiana University. Howard is 6’0″, 230 lbs and runs a 4.60 40-yard dash and 7.14 3-cone. He’s not a gangbanger with speed. Rather, he’s more like an agile bulldozer with NOS. Raise the front blade and watch defenders succumb.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hit It or Quit It, Preseason: Can Tate Crawl Out from Unda’ his Doubters?

August 3, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 23 Comments

by: Jennifer

Well hello again, all of my lovelies! Did you miss me? I am sorry that I had to abandon you halfway through your abysmal, injury-plagued seasons last year, but it seems that my work as a Fantasy Royalty called me away for many an Ambassador duties. Not really, I was basically traveling the globe and the deepest, darkest reaches of the planet to find some kind of Medicine Man or Voodoo Priestess to lift this Black Widow Curse from me, to no avail. But, I digress. How are you all holding up? I know you missed me, it’s okay, you don’t have to admit it (I can read your thoughts.) So, anyhoo, here we are again. The 2016 NFL season is closer than that stalker who is STILL living in my bushes outside (I need to start charging that creeper rent). I promise you, I won’t leave you again this season, as long as you stick with me. So, to rekindle all the love we shared and the memories we’ve made over the years, let’s spend a little time together today, get to know one another again, turn the lights down low, and turn on the Fantasy lovin’ with this little preseason edition of Hit it or Quit it…

Please, blog, may I have some more?