In what is probably one of the most anticipated match-ups involving teams that made the playoffs last season, the Seahawks travel to the legendary (ALLEGEDLY) Lambeau Field, made famous in history because of an old white dude who waxed poetic war metaphors into sweet Twitter like statements about football and wore a Fedora dominated a league that had a total of like three teams. But, to be fair, at least the Packers have a long and, well, we’ll call it robust, they have a robust football history. The Seahawks have had a Super Bowl stolen from them, a terrifically easy and boring Super Bowl win over the Broncos, and then the tainting of that win with a redzone disaster against the Patriots in last year’s Super Bowl. Matt Hasselbeck is mixed in a bunch in there too. All in about 15 minutes time, contextually speaking. Thus enters our game for Sunday Night Football, a newly-storied franchise, trying desperately to defend the right’s of rich hipsters everywhere (they just want an unlimited selection of microbrew and kale chips maaaaaaaan), going against an old school franchise that’s owned by the cheese-riddled blue collar people of the Midwest (all three of them), led by a coach, in Mike McCarthy, that will stop at nothing to make Aaron Rodgers as irrelevant as he can while kicking as many field goals as he can. Should be fun guys!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Countless times you and I have spoken about the NFC East derp levels, only because these levels are affecting our lives faster and more pronounced than that of global warming and Donald Trump’s hair thingamajig. But with Washington looking somewhat competent today, and I say “somewhat” just for the mere fact that I’m so surprised of said competency (focused mainly in the first half), that I’m not even sure it actually happened. It could all be made up! But regardless, even with the Giants doing sorta what the Giants do, it’s fair to say our normal derp levels are running low, here comes the Dez Bryantless Cowboys and the always innovative (except when they are super innovative) Eagles, here to quench our derp-thirst. Which sounds like a great name for a porno blooper reel.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Going into Week 2, one could pick from a plethora of story lines to choose from. As the one who dictates such things for your consumption, and seeing as how the “Petyon Manning’s demise” story line was delayed this past Thursday night, I bring to you, dear readers, this fascinating snippet…
All four teams in the AFC East are 1-0. Last time that happened in any division was 2002.
— Armando Salguero (@ArmandoSalguero) September 13, 2015
Granted this probably is due to the fact that in the past, opening divisional games were more common, but I still think it’s impressive for an entire division to go 4-0 in a week. Even more impressive when you consider that it’s a division that includes both the Bills and the Jets. (Just a fun note, the AFC West could have also achieved this feat, if not for a Raiders loss in Week 1. Because Raiders.) Unfortunately, this honeymoon won’t last, as the Patriots travel to Buffalo. So let’s enjoy the fact that Bills, Dolphins, and Jets all share first place with the Patriots, something which I’m sure won’t last much longer. The Jets will do what they do best, and that’s be the Jets. The Dolphins, I’m sure, will find unique and interesting ways to stay mediocre. And the Bills? Well, what I can I say about that Bills that hasn’t already been said about the Jets and Dolphins?
Our rankings have been updated for today’s games and can be found here.
New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?Greetings! After witnessing Peyton the redeemer, AKA Peyton the Elder, DECIMATE the once proud hearts of Kansas City Chiefs fans, I have two questions for you fine people: 1) Can we now put a stop to doubting Manning in the regular season? The old geezer may live off of Papa John’s and Chicken Parm, but on Thursday Night Football, he served nothing but grizzly tube-steak, force feeding the veiny meat down the throats of the Chiefs secondary. And 2) Are we going to stop complaining about the quality of TNF games? The battle started out limper than Stephen Baldwin’s career, but when that whistle blew, I find it difficult to believe ANY of you were questioning the quality of entertainment you just witnessed. Yes, I was once a detractor of TNF games, but with the inclusion of many more inter-divisional games and the upgraded ability for teams to prepare on a short week, going back to last season, it’s actually been quite solid. Enough of tonguing Peyton’s taint, though I know many of you would like to dive further into the discussion, the purpose of this post is to inform you of my most inner thoughts and dark secrets regarding Sunday and Monday’s games.
I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em! Take heed!
You can check out my rankings here, for all your roster needs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Is the phrase, “Back in Black” work here? I’m currently wearing a white t-shirt, but oh well. This is the first of a weekly series I’ll be writing about arguably the most underrated part of anyone’s quest to winning their Fantasy Football league: their bench. You heard me, your Fantasy Football team’s bench players. What happens when you suffer an injury like Dez Bryant, have a suspension like Le’Veon Bell (no, not Tom Brady) or just your starters aren’t cutting it? Your bench plays a pivotal part in helping to make sure you are well prepared for when anything may arise. Often times, the teams and owners that win their leagues at the end of the season are those who pick up the right players and drop the wrong ones. This is what this weekly series will address, figuring out who to add, who to drop, and who to keep. So those of you who still have Josh Gordon on your bench, for example, it may be time to drop him (the first tip is on the house). So kick back, open your eyes wide, and enjoy the ride.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I think I have an obsession with stats, and I’m not sure if it is a good thing or a sickness. Every time I look at the numbers, I see more numbers. I’m currently in the early stages of beginning to learn about regression analysis. And by early stages, I mean that it’s a topic I’d really like to learn more about. I really should have paid attention in college instead of whatever it was I was doing the few times I actually showed up to class. Back to Fantasy Football. In the preseason, I talked about the upgrades to The Stats Machine (TSM) for this season. One of the biggest changes was the fact that opposing defenses will now be factored into offensive performances. This is still true, but will not go into effect until after Week 3. TSM needs at least three weeks of defensive statistics in order to generate defensive rankings. With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to our Week 1 results…
Please, blog, may I have some more?And we are back for another week of the fantasy season. How badly did you overreact this week? If you have Dez Bryant, here’s a shot of your favorite whiskey on me this week. I hate seeing injuries to anyone, let alone a stud. I’m feeling the Brant pain, too, as I lost him in our Razzball Writer’s League. Like you, I’m looking for a fill-in (replacement makes it sound like someone CAN actually replace him) ,for the short term. But what about the Peyton Manning owner? Should you be terrified? I wouldn’t say Exorcism terrified, but maybe The Shining. Look, if the Broncos can’t get anything done in Week 3, I’m out. See ya. I would have already grabbed a back-up quarterback as waivers processed this week (this went to print before the Broncos-Chiefs game) because I don’t want to trust Manning as my only guy, despite the high ceiling.
If you have another quarterback with a tough match-up this week such as Tom Brady or Matthew Stafford, here are a couple of guys I’m looking at as potential streamers…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you had judged this game by the first three quarters and half of the fourth, you might have thought that Monday Night Football had given way to Thursday’s Prime Time to tenaciously make us feel like a nap is a better use of the time. True, it could have been a combination of Peyton Manning’s multiple incompletions where the ball traveled roughly an inch a second, Alex Smith’s continued ability to only throw five-yard slants, Andy Reid’s ability to literally eat all of this timeouts, and Phil Simms just stringing together random nouns. OR maybe it was that every other play there was a penalty flag. There hadn’t been that much yellow flying around since that incident at R. Kelly’s house years back. But just like last week, Denver’s defense found a way to lock in another win, forcing a fumble on Jamaal Charles with 30 seconds to play, allowing as much Monday morning quarterbacking as possible on Reid’s decision to not take a knee into overtime. I’m personally neutral on the decision, I think most coaches consider a draw there to be a low-risk “let’s see if we can get any yardage” type of play, but, I would admit that the correct move at the point would have been just to take the knee. It wouldn’t have mattered because Andy Reid would have been blamed for any decision he made, but since he could probably eat me plus a Sizzler, I’ll end on that note.
New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’ve now moved on from the first week of football, with all the time in between being spent exhausting profound energy on armchair analysis of who looked good and who looked bad, who’s done and who’s not, all with the knowledge that the entirety of our data set is resting on the laurels on the small sample size of one singular game. Poor Laurel. That being said, Peyton is done. Finished. As a Chargers fan, that is my complete and unbiased analyzation of the matter. You know it’s true because that statement had the word “anal” in it. To be fair, there’s a lot of worry out there for what probably the greatest quarterback to play the game. Simply put, against the Ravens, he did not look good. Baltimore’s defense was content defending the mid-range and short game of Manning, daring him to throw the ball long, something he just couldn’t do. In return, we watched a game that was played in-between the 30-yard lines, something that probably hadn’t been done since the infamous Steelers smackdown of the Dolphins, 3-0 back in 2007. Granted, the Ravens and Broncos exit strategy for thier game provided some zeal and zest, and that’s not sarcasm. I brought out my “z” words, afterall. But to circle back to beginning, this is one-week armchair analysis (back to anal too I suppose, hey now), so I’m still expecting Peyton Manning to not look so terrible. It would go a long way tonight against the Chiefs if Manning continued his personal domination over them and would certainly quiet the doubters. He is 13-1 against them all time, and the one loss came in 2004 where he threw 472 yards with 5 touchdowns. So we’ll just have to see if Forehead can figure it out…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Some players are just known for certain things. Dez Bryant’s “thing” is being passionate. Whether it’s yelling at a teammate or celebrating a victory, he really gets into it, putting his feelings out there for everyone to see. He’s been flagged for on field temper tantrums, often putting his foot in his mouth. This time it was an exuberant celebration… on a broken foot (NSFW: language). The NFL fantasy football season is brutal when it comes to injuries and as usual we’re off to a bad start. Here’s the lowdown on Dez Bryant and the rest of your Week 2 Injury Report.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ve never seen a more competitive and well balanced group of teams in the NFL than this year. 2015 is going to be the year every team goes 8-8 and all the playoff tiebreakers are tied. You heard it here first. The only teams that may want to be one of Jigsaw’s subjects are the Raiders, Bucs, Jaguars and Browns. It makes each game that much more important and fun to watch. Also, because I’m narcissistic and like talking about my own teams, I have Julian Edelman and Jarvis Landry on all my PPR leagues and I know I’m going to grow a semi-chub every time I look at their weekly targets. Lastly, I’m going to be taking a quick look at the past episode of The Max Factor then move on to more current and pressing news.
Please, blog, may I have some more?| Period | Rank | Overall | High | Low | Percentile |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Week 1 | 62.7% | 8 out of 20 | 72.6% | 42.7% | Top 40% |
| 2014 | 57.0% | 3 out of 20 | 58.4% | 48.1% | Top 15% |
After a weird and injury-filled Week 1, there are arguably more questions than answers. Will Kam Chancellor keep holding out? Will Luke Kuechly play this week? Will J.J. Watt kill Kevin for ranking him as the #7 overall IDP heading into Week 1? Sorry J.J.! The most difficult balance to strike after just one game per team is reacting to what we saw last week, without overreacting. The worst way to do this is to look at stats. I may have gotten a C- in statistics in college, but even I can tell you that one game is not a large enough sample size to make any assumptions moving forward. Luckily, we have snap counts. These are by no means a perfect measure either, but they at least can help answer some of the questions we had going into 2015. I’ll lean heavily on this information as we move into Week 2.
Please, blog, may I have some more?


