Hrm…how am I gonna do this…*Goes and reads ‘How To Sell A Bad Idea For Dummies*. I got it! He’s cheap! Yikes, readers and readettes, we’re really digging down into the down and dirty at QB suggesting Jake Locker at $5,400 but there’s some reason for optimism here. One, it’s your money, not mine…JK. The big reason I’m staring down the barrel of Jake’s cannon arm is the matchup. The Jets have been a wreck in the secondary all year. So bad, they’ve allowed a top 15 or better finish to quarterbacks with names like Alex Smith, Teddy Bridgewater and Kyle Orton (twice). If you were looking for a sign that something’s not working, Orton hanging big weeks on you more than once in a season is a pretty good indicator. Now of course, none of this touts Locker as a great play. He’s a risk. A big one, in fact. There’s no sign nor indication that Locker will ever be a good NFL QB at this point but DFS DGAF, y’all! Boy can scramble. Let’s just pretend that he has ‘started’ 4 games this year since he was hurt half way through week 4 and has played back to back 4th quarters the last two weeks when Zach Mettenberger’s shoulder turned into ground beef. In those ‘4 starts’, Locker has averaged about 34 yards on the ground and has a rushing TD to his credit. The great thing about rushing TDs? They’re worth more than passing TDs…seriously, you play this game, why am I telling you? So Locker could net you 9 points with 30 yards rushing and a TD without doing much out of the norm for his style of play. Now let’s take that ‘could’ and tack on the bad passing defense to date by the Jets that has allowed a 29:5 TD to INT ratio and an average of 258 passing yards a game for the year. Now let’s not kid ourselves, this could easily blow up in our faces like we just got a present from Jokey Smurf so I wouldn’t get cute and play him in cash games. That said, if you’re a GPP’in, you’re lookin’ to cut corners on pricing wherever you can and this could be that one time you’ll remember the 2014 Titans fondly. Enjoy. But enough about Denzel Washington, let’s move on. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 14 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

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It’s the semifinal round in most leagues and it’s time to make that late pickup that can put you over the top. Arizona running back Kerwynn Williams leads the list this week. Williams took advantage of the opportunity he was given, and ran the ball 19 times for 100 yards in Arizona’s win over Kansas City. It’s a bit of a suprise seeing how Stepfan Taylor and Marion Grice were projected to get more of the carries. Instead, Williams had 19 and everyone else combined for 12. He’s got a nice burst to him and is not afraid to run between the tackles to pick up tough yardage. Let’s find those late-season gems that can help you get the most-important two-game winning streak of the season…

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Well, well, well, here we are again my lovelies, Week 15!  We are a’tappin’ on the backdoor of playoff season.  This past week was very unkind to yours truly in the Fantasy Football area, as it seems my Black Widow Curse went on a feeding frenzy and decimated every piece of man soul on my rosters.  Hell, even George, the groundskeeper I picked up back in Week 3, went down with a severed spine AND a triple felony.  Yes, this has to be one of the most unforgiving Fantasy Football seasons I have ever had the displeasure of engaging in.  The amount of pain I have endured this season would make even the Marquis de Sade blush.  Thankfully, it is almost over and I can go back to my life of ComiCons and meth smoking.  Like I mentioned in my very first Hit it or Quit it post for Razzball, playing Fantasy Football is a lot like dating… sometimes you are the one doing the screwing, and sometimes you are the one getting screwed.  So, as we knock on the backdoor of playoffs, lay back, get comfy, throw on some Luther Vandross, and let me do my thing (I’ll even buy you dinner first) with this week’s Hit it or Quit it.

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This week is my week of regrets…. quarterbacks I regretted sitting, wide receivers I regretted dropping, running backs I regretted starting, teams I regretted rooting for, and Saturday… where I regretted drinking all night and failed to wake up before kick-off to lock my team in (at least the last one I have a decent excuse, it was my birthday Saturday). [Jay’s Note: Happy Birthday! If it helps, I’m still hung over from mine, and it was over two months ago…] I think one of the biggest regrets of mine is that all of this is happening during playoffs.

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You’d probably think this was a hard fought game if you glanced at the score. And you’d be partly right, say 19% of the game was hard fought? 18%? With the Packers leading at the half 31-7, Monday Night Football fulfilled, certainly, my expectations, and it looked like we were all set to enjoy some Matt Flynn time. DENIED. Why? Because Dom Capers, that’s why. The Falcons went on to score 30 points and bring the game to 37-43. With a stop necessary, the Falcons went into Mike Smith’s patented “Swanson Hungry Man Beef Pot Roast dinner” defense, allowing a 12-yard run to Aaron Rodgers, and then a 41-yard run to James Starks, which essentially ended the game with 01:37 left. It can be said that the Falcons competed hard, but it’s probably more important to point out that with a 5-8 record, they are still in first place. Jesus.

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If you didn’t notice, or if you didn’t read yesterday’s post, we are now travelling the December part of our football journey. And it’s almost as if a few weeks ago, some misguided couple named their child “Playoff Implications”. And let me tell you guys, when this kid grew up, he joined the military. And yesterday, that child reached the rank of “Major”. And the concept of that wonderful anecdote I just shared was manifested in the most ridiculous way possible… in the NFC South. Surprise! On a day that saw back-to-back shutouts for the Rams, the Jets still Jets’ing, it was no surprise to see the Saints lose and lose soundly at home to just an awful Carolina Panthers team. The Atlanta Falcons, with an unlikely win tonight (against the Packers at home), can build an insurmountable divisional lead and first place with a 6-7 record. AND they could probably do the same by losing! Heck, Carolina could take the division with a 6-9-1 record if they wanted to. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT ANY TIME. If only the division wasn’t comparable to reading dildo reviews…

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NFL: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

That’s right folks. We’ve arrived to Week 14, what is tacitly accepted as the starting point for Fantasy Football playoffs for the majority of leagues and formats. And coinciding with this “fantasy playoff” week are several key match-ups that will also have an enormous affect on the NFL playoff picture. Which, if you had already guessed from the title, is a picture that still has the Bills and Browns on it. While there are several other games that deserve a spotlight, like the Steelers vs. Bengals. Panthers vs. Saints (LOL), Ravens vs. Dolphins, Chiefs vs. Cardinals, Seahawks vs. Eagles and the Patriots vs. my Chargers, it seems almost silly to bring up those two teams. But their season’s rest on the outcome against the Broncos (who are at home against the Bills) and an incredibly talented Colts offense led by Andrew Luck, (with Coby Fleener in the caboose, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE HE BELONGS), against the Browns. An unlikely loss by either the Broncos and Colts could dramatcially shift the playoff picture into some kind of synergistic paridigm, only thought to exist in the most complciated of corporate and free enterprise verbiage. Yes, as you can see, the drinking got started early. Some point last week… So let’s get this Sunday started…

Week 14 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

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Greeting and salutations! Tis I, Beddict, back from a Thanksgiving vacation full of oiled up women and turkey basters galore. I come to you rejuvenated and ready to finish the season strong. I missed my 2nd lock of the week two weeks ago with Minnesota back-dooring me at home against Green Bay, and I’m just now getting over the burning sensation in my soul that makes the savage sting from a Portuguese man o’ war seem like a nip from a 15-year-old, toothless Beagle.

I sort of made up for it with a 5-0 week during my vacation. Did that pay for my mortgage for a year or just erase my debt to the Russian Mob? I’ll never tell. The quest for the perfect week continues… I suppose I was perfect last week but that wasn’t my usual full slate of games. I’m not one to look for the easy way out… unless of course I’m locked in Sky’s basement again. In that case, I’ll always take the easy way out, for that was one of the most trying and terrifying moments of my life. Let’s get on with it before I have to blow another six figures on my therapist.

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Can I tell you that due to the title of this post, I get some of the kinkiest followers on Twitter? Let’s just say I didn’t realize the “handcuff market” was so vast and expansive. Because these people are following me and supporting my efforts here, I feel it only necessary to give them a shout out. To all the weird fetish sites that obviously have never read a word of my writing, thanks for the follow and keep up the good work!

Now onto business, lots of handcuffs to discuss due to some evolving situations in Phoenix, Cleveland, Minnesota, and New Orleans…

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2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.0% (2nd out of 21 Experts, 59.8% Highest, 46.0% Lowest).

Week 14 marks either last the week of the regular season or the first week of the playoffs, depending on your style. Either way, we’ve reached the can’t-lose portion of the season. Apologies for abandoning you all during the playoff push, but I’m back from Argentina, full of steak and wine and empanadas, and ready to do nothing but watch football (not futbol, which I had to put up with for the last 2 weeks).

Because the upcoming games will likely dictate how much you enjoy the next 9 months, it’s time to re-wire your brain for the playoffs. Preseason assumptions stopped being meaningful long ago, but even players we thought we knew 2 weeks ago might not be the same. You obviously know that Chris Borland is an IDP god sent here to wreak havoc on all that he touches. But there are some other players who aren’t as much of a sure thing, and that can be dangerous in the playoffs. Let’s take a look at a few of them.

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